Chapter 14

I hit my head on a low-hanging door.

"They gotta make these doors taller," I grumbled.

"It's nobody's fault," Nudge said. "These places were made for humans, who can see and aren't built like a skinny-ass Sasquatch."

I took a swipe at her with my foot, making perfect contact with the shin, resulting in a satisfying cracking sound.

"Ow," Fang growled.

"Sorry," I said. "Was aiming for Nudge."

"Is that a sunburn?" Total said. "And look at those muscles. You're ripped! Don't you ever get tired of being so damn Swedish all the time?"

"Strangely, no, I don't," I admitted. "What are you doing here, Total? I thought you were staying with Mom." The name slipped out. I wondered if Max would mind. Genetics or not, I always felt that Dr. Martinez's mom-ness was primarily spiritual. I'd have to ask Max about that.

"Just need help with the wedding plans," Total said.

The door banged in suddenly. I felt everyone around me—just Fang, Nudge, and Total—get into battle stance.

"Peace!" a voice said.

I quickly tossed my most readily-available bombs.

"Peace!" the voice screeched over the ka-booming. Soon, the voices were silent.

"Iggy!" Nudge said. "He said peace."

"Oh," I said. I shrugged. "I chose to ignore that. Did I kill them?"

"No," Nudge said. "They're breathing, both of them."

"Okay, good. Sorry about that. Are they conscious?"

"No."

"Let's not let them wake up," Fang said.

"They said peace," Nudge reminded him.

"How many times have we fallen for that one?" Fang snapped. "Kill them."

"They're people, Fang," Nudge said incredulously.

"Like that ever stopped anyone from trying to kill us?" Fang retorted.

"No, Fang, look," Nudge said. "They're really, really people."

There was a pause, then Fang said, "Huh."

"I love dangling," I said cheerfully.

"There are pictures in their front pockets," Fang said. "The captions say 2001… Albert Bach and Felicia Nguyen. The people in the photos have the same eyes and these two creatures… their exact eyes."

I tried to envision that. "Sounds freaky," I said.

"It is," Total said. "Giant talking anthropomorphic bird and snake. Is that supposed to be high-quality genetic engineering? 'Cause it's not."

"The annoying talking dog with weird fluffy wings wants to know about high-quality genetic engineering?" I mused.

"I look like a dog," Total said. "I feel like a dog. These guys feel way too human. And that 'annoying' remark was below the belt."

"Fine, don't kill them," Fang said. "Let's keep them guarded, though."

"They said peace," Nudge insisted.

"Tell that to the door," Fang said.