Chapter 13: Pieces of Kai

"So…" I cut through the silence that has settled between us but immediately second guess what I should say next. There were many ways that I could continue: 'where are we going?', 'are you still mad at me?', 'is this punishment?', 'should I have gotten dressed?', 'why aren't you working today?', however, "Is this your car?" seemed like the most logical choice. It was certainly the most tantalizing question on my mind at the moment. Sided right next to 'how long have you known how to drive?' but I didn't want to be rude and I wasn't quite sure I really wanted to know. Especially since his answer to the less threatening question was to speed up more.

I shrink down in the seat, fighting the urge to close my eyes and not open them again for the duration of the ride.

Okay, so he's not open to small talk right now. Noted.

On to my next predisposition. Distraction.

I start to play with my seatbelt and look around the car. Surprisingly it's pretty plain. Not at all a car I would expect Kai to own…or drive. For one, it's brown. Brown seats, brown dashboard, brown paint. Just plain ol' brown. Second, it's a 4-door sedan. I had always pictured Kai as a red sports car type person; maybe blue…possibly black. But brown? Do I even know ANYONE who would purposely own a bland, ordinary brown car?

Kai takes a sharp turn and I can no longer stop my eyes from clamping shut as I tense and grip the seatbelt tightly in a protective manner.

"Definitely red…" I mumble to myself as my defensiveness subsides.

"It's not mine," he replies, somehow having followed my thought process or possibly just answering my question from earlier. I glance at him, still a little cautious but curious all the same. The response let me know that he wasn't outright ignoring me but it didn't leave much for a conversation the way he cut the sentence off so short. He hadn't sounded angry or bitter but what other purpose would dragging me out of the apartment so early and unwarned have besides punishment? Getting it out of him would have to take a bit of tact on my part. Although, getting so far as to warrant punishment seemed a bit too late for tact. I decide to press forward regardless.

"So you CAN talk." I offer a smile and push myself back up in the seat.

"Hn." He slows to stop at a stop sign. I wait for something else but like before, I get nothing.

"I'm just trying to judge where I am in this," I say nonchalantly, looking out the window at a few people walking outside. This would have been a perfect opportunity to relinquish all hostilities and just tell him what he wanted to know, but the space between us seemed farther away than something so simple. I needed to offer him some consolation. Especially since, considering who he was, telling him now would be pointless. He'd most likely already found out everything on his own, and if he hadn't, he more than likely no longer cared. So what DO you offer somebody who's always one step ahead of everyone else? He starts off again and I flinch. "If you're trying to kill me there are much better ways," I groan. "Do you even have a license?" I hide my face to soften the impact of force that overtakes the car once again.

"Of course." Silence. I fiddle uncomfortably for a moment before sighing and sliding down in my seat, closing my eyes. Maybe I could pretend I was on a space ship. Yeah. That's right. I'm launching into space. Speed is important for that. We need to break the atmospheric barrier…or something. Thinking about it like that almost makes it seem relaxing…sort of. Not at all. I wonder if astronauts feel the same kind of fear. I'm sure it is a much higher amount of fear. Since, launching into space isn't exactly…safe? Do they still launch people into space or is it just satellites now? If I live through this day maybe I will have Kenny google it for me. Actually, I've had a few good sessions of online researching…maybe I can do it myself now.

My heart stops for a whole different reason when Kai's fingers wrap around my wrist and squeeze. My eyes re-open in surprise and I look over at him. He scrutinizes me from the corner of his eye before releasing me.

"Just making sure you were still alive," he replies impassively. If I didn't know any better I would think he was toying with me. His taunts were a bit more obvious than that however, so I just assume that there is something else going on.

"Maybe if you didn't drive like a maniac you wouldn't have to worry." I shoot back with slight malice. At this point I'm not sure if it's because of his feigning detachment or because in the short, 20 minute car ride he'd managed to make my heart stop at least 6 times. Somehow being concerned for my consciousness seemed like it would be trivial to him with his attitude and disregard throughout it all. I take it all back, maybe I was just getting frustrated that we'd been alone for 20 minutes and I was no closer to knowing what was going on than I had been at the start. It was beginning to feel like it had nothing to do with Tyson at all. He raises an eyebrow at my snarkiness but still doesn't say anything. "Sorry." I relent, feeling foolish that I had let myself go so easily. It was prevalent that I wasn't making any progress but getting defensive and derisive would only make things worse. "I'm just a little on edge because I don't know what you're thinking." I pause, wanting to continue but riding the fence on whether I should. A part of me knows that pushing Kai gets adverse results but the bigger part of me just wants a resolution. So of course I go on anyway. "Maybe I deserve it. I'll take whatever punishment you have for me." It seemed like the best way to get results. Showing my compliance would allow him to take over the control. Which, if I knew Kai like I thought I did, was pretty much all he desired. He's quiet again and I start to think he'd gone back to ignoring me but then he tilts his head in my direction.

"Who said anything about punishment?" There's something in his tone that I can't place and it leaves me with no real response as I try to figure it out. But, he slams on the brake and my eyes snap closed again, halting all my thoughts. "We're here," he relays calmly. I keep my eyes closed as I try to slow down my breathing and get my bearings back. I take things slowly as I crack one eye first, realizing that I'm still alive and that the danger is gone for now. I want to look at him again to see what he might be feeling (if anything) but the sight outside my window takes my attention completely and I lean forward to take it in, a bit dazed.

"Kai that's…" my mouth drops open as I am unable to finish. My hand absently reaches out to take ahold of his leg for some type of stability or feeling that I'm not imagining things. "You… You JUST said it WASN'T punishment." I turn to him in a desperation that even I would consider pathetic. "Kai…" I plead. "You can't make me go in there like this." His face is a mixture of confusion and surprise.

"You know where we are?" he asks with slight skepticism.

"Please, Kai. I promise I'll do whatever you want." I ignore his inquiry if only to show him how uncomfortable I have become. He narrows his eyes in suspicion but his lip starts to quirk in amusement.

"I never told you not to change," he taunts. I would take comfort from the return of the more familiar Kai, but I am too busy fearing my impending humiliation. He shifts to open the door and steps out of the car. I immediately lock the doors and shrink down in my seat to hide. He sends me a deadpanned look and holds up the keys. I pout and relent, opening my door as he walks around to meet me.

"Please? If you ever cared about me at all, you won't make me go in there. Not like this." I look at him practically tearful. Sure, it's not becoming of a person at all but some circumstances require it. He looks over the door at me, forcing me to stand with the look on his face.

"I'm doing this FOR you," he offers as consolation. I step over to him and frown.

"I didn't know you hated me…" He rolls his eyes.

"Ray, you're being overdramatic," he growls as he shakes his head in disapproval. Any glimpse of his previous amusement is gone now and I start to feel helpless.

"So? Wouldn't you if you were me?" He closes my door for me and studies me a moment.

"You still don't trust me at all." He returns my frown. "I was hoping this would help but you won't even give me the chance."

"How is meeting your parents in my pajamas supposed to help?" I reply accusingly. The look of suspicion returns to his face.

"So you HAVE been here before…" he concludes but doesn't question me further. "Well… They aren't here so you can stop with all the bad theatrics."

"Seriously?" I watch him doubtfully as he moves forward up the walkway towards the door. "Then…why are we here?"

"The longer you drag your feet the longer it'll be 'til you find out," he calls out to me without stopping or looking back.

"Oh." Well don't I feel dumb now? I rush my way to catch up before he can slam the door in my face. I look up at the house once more before following him inside.

Kai's parents' house. I never thought we'd end up here. Inside was just as daunting and terrifying as I had imagined it would be but knowing that what awaited us at the end of the illustrious hallways and decadent furnishings wasn't Kai's parents, somehow I could breathe normally.

It was true that I had been there before and it wasn't strange that Kai hadn't known that. Why would he? He hardly shared any personal information with anyone so I am pretty sure he didn't expect any of us to even know where they lived. But I had tracked them down on one of those off days when I was probing and contemplating how I could find out more about him if I knew more about where he came from. Nobody had been home then either and I wonder if that meant that they hardly ever were. Kai had spent most of his time in the clutches of his grandfather so maybe his parents had better things to do. Being prestigious and wealthy I imagine they probably travelled a lot. I mean, I would.

I pause my inner musing when Kai stops in front of a door and turns back to me in what I could only describe as hesitation.

"I'll explain everything later if you just promise to do everything I say without question for the next few hours," he offers, resting one hand on the doorknob but not opening it yet. My curiosity is peaked again, unsure of how demanding he would be if I agreed without inquiring more into it first. I mean, he could ask me to do a lot of things that I probably wasn't ready or willing to do. He had mentioned my lack of trust in him so I took it as more of a test so I nod to show my compliance, overlooking any uneasiness I may have had. He returns my nod, consecrating our agreement and turns back to the door.

I know I said I wouldn't ask any questions but looking at the way he was regarding the door I couldn't stop myself from trying. Just like his tone earlier there was something in that look that I couldn't identify.

"When was the last time you were…" He cuts me off by taking in a deep breath and opening the door. I watch him a little taken back by his open show of discomfort before he disappears into the room. I can't say I've ever seen Kai scared before. I mean, not exactly. I have seen him display a lot of emotions, some bad (anger; disappointment; shame; etc.), some good (happiness; amusement; pride; etc.)… Probably moreso than anyone else. Scared was never one of them. But it was the only thing I could label as what he is expressing to me as he tiptoes his way around the room. It was almost as if any noise at all would bring about some maniacal disruption that would ruin the stillness of our presence there. Did he not want anyone to know we were there?

I venture in after him, unsure of what else is the appropriate thing to do. The room is clearly his. The trophies and prizes and everything else that labelled and delved into Kai's mostly secret past proved that. It made me feel kinda sad. He'd never seemed proud of those. He didn't seem anything. I understand why he wouldn't want to talk about the Abbey but this was a different world. This was a place that displayed his achievements. But just like his room at the apartment, there was nothing personal or identifying of how he felt or to express himself. It was all uniform and distinct. Perfectly shined. Perfectly placed. Nothing defining or different to establish personality or individuality. No identity. Just glamour and show. Kai was so much more than that.

"Here." His voice brings my attention back to him. He offers me a change of clothes. I take them without a word and he points me towards a door on the other side of the room. "Go change." I stand a minute as he moves over to the other side of the room. I step into the bathroom and put on the clothes, which is actually a dark suit, much like the one he wore to his graduation. I study myself in the mirror after I dress and analyze my reflection as it looks just as prim and proper as everything else here. For some reason it makes my stomach turn. I don't think I could ever feel like I belonged in a place like this.

When I step back out of the bathroom I find Kai dressed in similar clothes and kneeling by the bed. I want to question whether we are going somewhere special but the popping sound as he removes a board from the floor becomes more of an interest. I walk over to him, tossing my pajamas aside on the bed as I watch.

"You wanted something personal." His voice remains emotionless when he says this but I can tell he's pushing himself to keep it that way. He pulls a box out of the hole and replaces the board. It's not a big box; just big enough to fit one or two small items. He stands and brushes himself off before shoving the box at me. I open my mouth to say something but doesn't let me start. "Let's go, we're already late." He shoves my pajamas and his clothes into a gym bag and makes his way out.

Late? For what? Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?

I clutch the box close as we go back out into the hallway and exit the house, clamoring back into the car without a word. It stays that way for the remainder of the trip as we take off on another joyful ride into oblivion. This one wasn't nearly as traumatizing, mostly because I was distracted by the box that I now possessed. It had only taken me a moment to realize that it wasn't just a normal box. It was actually a puzzle box, and a really complicated one. I don't have time to figure out before he's screeching to another stop and getting out of the car. I set the puzzle box aside and start to get out myself when an all-too-familiar voice halts me dead in my tracks.

"You're late." Comes a snide remark. It was only two words but it was enough to make my blood run cold and I shiver without even realizing it. I look up at the source, expecting to find Kai's evil grandfather but instead find somebody much younger but just as volatile and more similar in looks to Kai. "And you didn't have permission to bring that thing." Thing? He couldn't possibly mean…

"That 'thing' has a name and he doesn't need YOUR permission," Kai shoots back before I can finish my thought. Okay so he does mean me. I smile sheepishly even if neither of them are paying me any real regard. I can only conclude that I have met Kai's parents after all. Well, at least one of them. And much like I had expected I feel just as unpleasant as I thought I would about it. At least Kai had made me change my clothes first. The suit gives me a false sense of security that wouldn't have existed if I had still been in my pajamas. "I thought you'd be on your way home. Did you need to make sure I couldn't come? Or did you really want to see me that badly?" Even if it's not directed at me I can feel how icy it is. Obviously they weren't on good terms. Had they ever been? Maybe he was just as crazy as his crazy father. Weren't those things supposed to skip a generation? Did that mean that Kai was actually the crazy one here? Wait, what am I even saying?

"Hn. This isn't about you." Kai's father shakes it off without much effort. "You may have chosen to disgrace your family name but even I wouldn't keep you from your mother. I'm just happy she didn't live long enough to know what a disappointment you became." It's then that I realize we were in a graveyard. I hadn't noticed when we'd first pulled up because I had been preoccupied and then the presence of anticipated doom had distracted me further. But I turn and look around now, taking in the huge canvas of gravestones and pathways leading through them.

"Hn." Kai discards him and the insinuation but it doesn't stop him from poking a little more.

"My only hope was that once you ended up on the streets you'd come to your senses." He eyes me up. "But I see you're still harboring your delusions." The glare makes me feel dirty and I'm not sure why. Not wanting to show my discomfort I just stare back, trying to see if I could figure out where this was going before it got too ugly.

Kai crosses the path in front of him as if to show that he is done talking. At first his father seems to take the action offensively but he glances towards me again and as if not wanting to show any weakness in front of me, he quickly composes himself. If not for the location I would have added my own response, gathering enough from the short altercation to guess what was going on. However, seeing as how Kai seemed to want to keep things civil and clean, I refrain, offering a stern look instead as I pass by to follow Kai.

Nothing else is passed between us as they go through all the motions of respects given and prayers offered to the elaborate mausoleum that we approach with care. Only when we get back to the non-sacred ground of the parking lot does the man speak again.

"I'd say it's been a pleasure but we both know pleasantries are lost on you," he spouts just as rude as before. "If you decide to wise up, you know where to find me." He approaches a limo that is waiting on the other side of the scattered cars parked around us. "I might be nice enough to forgive you if you can learn to speak to me properly," are his last words before he gets in the back of the car and departs. I watch Kai for a moment to assess what is appropriate to do or say next but he goes on un-phased, opening his own door and getting in the car. I follow without a word.

I want to ask. I had so many questions. More questions than I may have ever had before. But… Kai had said that he would tell me everything later. Knowing Kai, when he was ready to talk, he would do so. I wouldn't have to ask. Any other way would probably end in nothing but silence anyway. Nobody pried into Kai's business without an invitation. It was a big step for him just having me here. Somehow it felt like I was a part of something much bigger and much more meaningful than just a crude exchange of words between family members on a day that was meant for remembrance.

So I just buckle my seatbelt, look forward, and wait.

"You've never expected me to be perfect," he says suddenly, taking me by surprise. Not just because of the words but because it seemed out of place in the situation. I turn towards him to confirm that I had heard correctly before venturing an answer. He stays looking forward, focused on the empty space in front of him. "It's a little refreshing that you doubt me." I stay quiet a minute longer trying to connect this line of thought to the present time.

"That sounds a little backwards," I laugh nervously. "I don't know how you're making that sound like a good thing." I look down, ashamed at admitting that what he was saying was true rather than becoming defensive about it.

"As frustrating as it is sometimes…I appreciate it." His attention still seems miles away but I can feel the fondness of the words, as twisted and confusing as they are.

"You're such a complicated person…" I smile despite the darkening atmosphere and look back towards the front. "I just want to understand you." I let it drop as if we'd shared some sort of special moment, the questions all seeming irrelevant now.

I hear the click as he releases my seatbelt and turn to see what he's doing only to be overcome by him as he pushes himself over me and catches me in a kiss. Without time to react or comprehend the sudden movement, I get caught up and just lean into it, my eyes fluttering closed on their own. He deepens it enough to leave me unsatisfied as he breaks it off a second later, lingering close enough that I can still feel the heat from his body and his breath on my face.

"Sorry," he whispers, tentatively biting his lip in a rare moment of weakness. "I couldn't hold myself back any longer." I hold my breath as I try to hold my composure, anticipating something more. Instead, he lets go of my seatbelt and lets it slip off of me and settle back into its normal position as he withdrawals. "Now get out."

"W…what?" the word catches in my throat as I am too shocked to muster any real reaction except my blank, disoriented stare. His mood had changed so quickly that I started to believe I had imagined it all.

"You said you'd accept your punishment." He doesn't look at me but I know he's serious. The four phases of Kai that we had gone through today were enough for me to realize that I shouldn't be surprised that it ended up this way.

"But we're miles from home…" I start. "I don't even…" He stops me by reaching into the duffle bag and digging out my coat. Out of my coat pocket he retrieves the phone he'd left in my care.

"You know how to use GPS, right?" He holds it out, still refusing to look at me. I look from the phone to him and back again, now too angry to even feel the lingering notions of adoration for him that I had had moments before. At the same time, I wonder if the reason he won't meet my eyes is because he can't. Maybe he knows that if he does he won't follow through. Something in that thought makes me a little hopeful. "You DID want to take responsibility, didn't you?" He finally turns and settles a hard glare on me. The hope I'd had is diminished as I raise an eyebrow in disbelief and swipe the phone from him, turning sharply and opening my door to get out. "You can take the bag too. There's a bathroom around the corner where you can change again." I grit my teeth and hold my tongue as I grab the bag as well and step away from the car to close the door.

As someone who seems all too familiar with abandonment, I'd thought he'd be a little more compassionate but it was clear that he was more strict about following through than he was about anything else. I don't even check to see if he has any second thoughts as I turn my back to him and walk off in agitation. If it had been a joke I never would have known because it was then that I decided it was my idea to keep going on with it. I had made a promise and I intended to keep it. No matter how unreasonable it was. I also made the decision to come clean with everything when I got back home. Kai was more formidable than I had ever anticipated and it was clear that the only way for us to continue was if we met somewhere in the middle. Resentment, on both our sides, was becoming our signature and that sure as hell was no way to build a relationship.

A/N: Hello again! Long time no type. Not completely by choice. I've been writing and writing in my spare time but haven't had internet for a while so I couldn't upload anything. I also apologize because this chapter gets kind of dark. The next chapter is meant to bring everything together and get closer to a conclusion but I had a lot of information I was throwing around inside my head and this was the direction I ended up going. I wanted to get into Kai's past a bit without getting too dark and out in the blue so hopefully I didn't throw myself off course too much. I didn't stick to the manga as far as regards to Kai's father but it all has a purpose and I needed a villain of sorts. Anyways… I really appreciate everyone's patience. Especially since this probably wasn't what you were expecting. I'm always up for suggestions and not afraid of rewrites! I actually thought about starting over before… but! I probably should finish it first. xD I appreciate every single one of you. Until next time!