Almanzo Wilder and Mary Ingalls. Now that would be...
Two men stood outside the door to the room which would decide their fates. Both thought they had done well - but it came down to the director to choose who would be directed. Which was why they were here. And why the taller man - Linwood Boomer by name, and Adam Kendall by actions, kept trying to tell Dean Butler the part was not his to have.
"Now Dean. I mean, Almanzo. Got to stay in character, don't I? I think it's sensible that I get this role. I'm a natural for Adam."
"Oh, I disagree. Blonde Adam and blonde Mary equals perfect character chemistry." Dean replied.
"Dear Brother-in-law of mine, I get Mary, you can try for Laura, it works out."
"Oh, I think I should be Adam. You can be Almanzo."
They were saved from further bantering by Mike Landon opening the door and ushering them in.
"Take a seat boys." Mike/Charles said. Both did so - Linwood walked out the door with his, leading to a gale of laughter from Mike.
"You are sooooooooo Adam." he said, as Linwood sat down next to Dean Butler, who was amazed at Linwood's nerve.
"Okay Dean, what have you got in reply to that?" Mike asked.
"I - I thought we auditioned just before." Dean replied.
"Sure we did. This is for extra character - and I'm the natural choice for Adam. Though you'd make a great Almanzo."
"I told you, I'm going for the role of Adam. Don't try to talk me out of it. Or are you afraid I'll get the part."
"No, I just think it'll be very awkward when Laura comes along, I mean, unless your the Sultan of some..." Linwood trailed off, smirking.
"If I'm Adam, I wouldn't be marrying Laura." Dean reasoned. That never works.
"If you're Adam, Mrs. Oleson would have a field day. Adam Kendall - the man with two wives."
"How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not Almanzo!" Dean demanded. Adam smirked.
"Counter-temper. Stubbornness. Perfect Wilder." Linwood added.
"Oh, please Mr. Landon, make him stop." Dean begged.
"Tell you what mate, seeing as you'll be my brother-in-law, you can be Adam for a few takes. If it works out, keep the role. If not, you are Almanzo. You MUST be Almanzo." Linwood offered/threatened.
"Spiffing idea lads." Mike said. "Missy, Melissa, would you come here please?"
The two ladies emerged from whence they comest. Linwood started humming 'Here comes the bride'
Which only made Mike/Charles cry tears of mirth at Dean's expense. And Linwood was not finished.
"Go on Manzo, say hello to your bride-to-be. You must have lots to discuss." Linwood said, shoving Dean forward. "Gee, I love arranged marriages. Which reminds me Missy..."
Mike Landon laughed, and Missy Anderson shoved her fist into her mouth.
"Look Dean, we have Chemistry. Score one for Adam, Linwood style." Linwood/Adam said to Dean/Almanzo about Missy/Mary.
"Hey guys." Missy said, "We do two scenes. One with you Dean, and one with Linwood. Then we decide who gets the role."
"My Adamishness will do the talking!" Linwood declared, nodding his agreement. Dean rolled his eyes.
"What scene should we do?" Mike mused. "Never mind that. Just imagine you are happy to see Mary. Say her name."
"Mary?" Dean said.
"Watch and learn bro. Charles, backstory please?"
"Say you've been sick and you want to see Mary. Or you haven't seen Mary in a long time, and she's back."
"Ah, so no Mary within the last fifteen minutes. Desperate situation here Dean. Leave it to the experts."
Linwood reclined back as far as the wooden chair would allow.
"Mary Mary Mary. Oh Mary, MARY! MARY! No, no, no! Mary!" Linwood pranced about the room, doing variations of those words. Suffice to say, Dean's chances were dead and buried.
"Linwood, or should I say Adam, you've got the job!" Mike declared. Adam did a victory dance.
"C'mon Missy, we can go to lunch and practice the dinner scene." And Linwood seized Missy's arm and danced out of the Director's office.