Surprise! I'm back with a new entry! This is probably my best chance at adding a new chapter. I will plunge into the next one before I go to work in the evening and try to have ready by Wednesday morning (no promises!). The story is consuming a large part of my mind. I really need to end it soon to focus on other things I'm sorry to say. I believe there will be about three more deliciously long chapters to this story. The last two chapters were intense and action-driven. This and the next one will be intense and just plain tear-jerkers. You will not regret suffering through the first several chapters to get to this point. Read and review as always.

Ending on a final happy note: The team will be making an appearance in the next chapter.

Chapter 14:

The Voice

I ran after Reid. I had no idea what I was hoping to accomplish. All I knew was that I just couldn't let him go. He meant too much too me.

H snaked through the different hallways of the gallery. I had a feeling he had helped the cops map out the building and knew all the exits. I did what you see in the movies and kicked off my heels to move faster. I saw him slide to stop in the middle of a hall and pull open a door. I got to the door and exited also.

The door had opened into a surprising wide and long alleyway. He was about twenty steps ahead of me and moving towards a street.

"Mr. Gray! Talk to me!" I shouted.

He stopped and turned. "And why should I do that?" he spat at me. He looked beyond angry.

"What do you plan on doing now? You can't run away from this."

He actually walked up to me. I think he wanted to punch me.

"This is my life Dr. Selzer. You have no authority over how I choose to live."

I tried to remain calm. "You are hurting Mr. Gray. You were given a shock that you will not-"

"Who do you think you are?" he shouted. "You just love to boss people around. You got a high out of ordering those agents to do what you wanted. I can see that now. You don't really care about-"

"That is not fair!" I shouted. "Yes I do love my cushy office. I do enjoy telling people how they could have done a better job. I do have a huge ego. But make no mistake. I do care about my patients! I will do anything make their lives better!"

"Then why did you abandon them and chase me down in L.A.?" he asked. "You're like those agents. You think you're the only one who can 'save' me."

I was letting some of my personal anger boil to the surface. "You really think I am that flighty and emotional? I made sure that all my patients and other work was being taken care of before I chose to 'to whoosh down and grab little Mr. Gray from the claws of the monster.' I know you figured out that I thought Lila was dangerous. But I don't think you know how. I played tennis with Lila's former therapist for months. Lila toyed with that woman's already fragile state with her insane stories. You may not think highly of my intelligence right now Mr. Gray, but I believed that this woman's ramblings had some truth in them. That extremely bright doctor had been verbally tortured to the brink of insanity by Lila Archer. I just couldn't sit back and watch that happen to you!"

"But you really didn't do anything to help me," Reid retorted. "In fact I was the one who saved you! A cop called me when they found your friend's body to ask if I knew of any rogue agents who were also in on the plot. They mentioned your name and I remembered seeing it on the invite list. I was worried because: A: You might do something stupid and compromise our plan to catch the guys. Or B: They were planning on going off the script and kill you at the exhibit to drive their home the point that no one is safe from them."

He never pushed my buttons like this. "Mr. Gray do you really think I am that naïve? I know I am not a secret agent. I know that I am not Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. The truth is I came to watch the other people do the rescuing! I was going to let my friend in the C.I.A do the heavy-lifting because he was a trained agent. I only helped him come up with a set of profiles. He chose to get involved because he cared about those people too!"

Something seemed to dawn on him. "You came because you thought I was going to crack. That if I was forced to start remembering things, you would be here to turn me back into Spencer Reid. I will not let you do that!" he shouted and began to walk away.

He was not getting off that easy. I followed him. "Okay Mr. Gray you're right I did come here to pick you up." I clapped my hands. "I came here to have you tossed into my magic laboratory where I would have your brain smashed into goo, add some hocus pocus and you would emerge as the stimming skinny guy who can name all of Ted Bundy's victims and the members of the Manson Clan as if they are part of the alphabet. That is exactly why I came here!"

He stopped for a moment and looked over his shoulder at me. "I'm sick of talking to you. Leave me alone." He stepped up his pace.

I stood my ground. "I can tell you exactly what's going to happen next!" I yelled. "You are going to re-invent yourself again and keep a low profile, like you wanted from the start. You will find some peace and possible a rewarding job because you are resourceful. But the problem is, this day will haunt you for the rest of your life. You will try to forget about it, but you can't because it's too raw. Eventually you'll resort to online pharmaceutical drugs, but they won't work either because they're phony. You'll end up on trying Xanax, PCP, and eventually heroin. You'll do anything to forget what happened, even if it means ending up passed out in a drug den. You'll do anything to destroy that memory of Jennifer Jareau saying: SPENCE! SPENCE! SPENCE!"

"Stop!" he screamed and ran at me. He grabbed my shoulders and began to shake me. "Stop! Stop! Stop it!"

"I bet you never stopped wanting to know why Jareau can't watch a Redskins game without thinking about you. That you have been resisting every urge to just Google her name to learn more about her."

He loosened his grip on my shoulders a little, but still looked enraged. "What does that have to with anything?"

"You fell in love with Lila but you cared about Jareau even more in a different way. I found out why. Aren't you a little curious?"

He violently pushed me onto the ground. I landed on my back. "Why are you doing this to me? I thought you cared about me. I thought you wanted to help me move on!"

I sat up. "This is not moving on Mr. Gray. This is running away. Do you even realize how angry and violent you are right now? You are being pulled apart by a hundred different emotions. The strength of your anger is the only thing keeping you upright. If you walk away from me right now you are going to end up running. You will not stop running until you are out of breath. You will collapse on ground somewhere and fight every urge to cry because you are truly alone. You are free, but it came with a price: Your desire to feel safe in your own head."

Reid stood there and looked down at me. I don't think I have ever worked so hard to reason with a patient. The alleyway was dimly lit but I could see his face crumble and contort. He looked so lost. Not as Spencer Reid with the trembling throat and glassy-eyed confusion. But as a guy who just realized he did not have as much control as he thought.

I talked as I got onto my feet. "Mr. Gray I promise I won't let you lose the parts of the person you are that you love. I can't promise that it won't be painful. I think we both know there are psychological wounds festering deep beneath the surface. I will help you heal in a safe environment. You will not face your fears alone! I will help you find the peace you need to move on."

I was on the verge crying as I took a step towards him. "Take my hand and I won't let go! I won't let you go until you can fly free."

His face contorted again away as if was thinking of something. "That voice," he said softly. "I have heard it before."

I looked confused. "What? How-"

"Not those words exactly. I recognize the tone. The level of intensity. The sincere desperation. It is my voice Dr. Selzer."

"Mr. Gray I'm not trying to force you to-"

"I don't remember when or where I use it," he said. "I remember the feeling of joy when I succeeded." His voice was cracking. "But mostly I remember the sense of utter failure when I didn't."

I'm not sure I liked where this was going. "Mr. Gray your refusal will not destroy me."

He shook his head several times. "I know. But your sense of confidence will shaken. You will question your ability to help people. I can't let that happen to you. Especially when I know you're right!" He gasped and his head fell onto my shoulder. His body was trembling.

I awkwardly put my arms around him to stay on my feet. He was not the heaviest man in the world by an enormous long-shot, but I couldn't keep us both upright with the way his body was moving in my grasp. I managed to hug him a little more and get him to sit on the ground. I made sure an arm was still loosely wrapped around him.

He began to rock a little and he let out short panicked breaths. The guy was still trying to maintain some sort of dignity he thought he needed in order to remain Mathew Gray. He was fighting very hard to keep himself from crying.

I pulled out a phone from a pocket. I got the idea from the last Batman movie. I brought two phones. I gave the dummy to security and had real one hidden a hole I had carved out of the lining of my purse. It was such a crazy swapping process I still can't believe it worked. I needed it for this exact scenario.

I dialed the number Melvin Morris had given me. It was a favor from one of his patients that I could never have earned. He got the approval from his patient for me to use it. This was just another thing that I would never be able to thank him properly for. I called the number and in ten minutes I got what I needed.

A car pulled up and I guided Reid into it. He didn't put up any sort of fight. I did need to take care of the legal medical authorization process. I turned on the recording feature of my phone and asked for Mathew Gray's verbal consent to allow me to treat him as I saw fit. Sensing the importance of what I was asking, he managed to relax long enough to give a firm, audible, answer. It wasn't the strongest binding agreement, but it was something.

The specific variation of Dramamine I requested was also included in the car to my surprise. I told Reid that he and I were taking the fastest possible route to the mental health center. I needed for him to take the pills to ease his anxiety. He looked at me uncertainly and I lightly rubbed the back of his right shoulder and told him that it would help. He took the pills. About an hour later we were standing at the base of a helicopter base on a tall on building. I can't say much about the man behind all of this. I can describe him as a business man with access to latest state of the art helicopters in the world. This is how I was able to get Spencer Reid to The Worthing Institute before five o'clock in the morning.

…

I managed to get a very drowsy and exhausted Reid into the room I had prepared for him. Melvin had been right on the money when he said that I had been planning this moment from the beginning.

I decide that it was best for the moment to keep him in the clothes he was wearing with the exception of his glasses, shoes, and blazer. I carefully covered him with a soft, but firm blanket. For a few minutes I watched him sleep. He twitched occasionally and there was a grim look on his face. I brushed away a sudden tear as I left his room.

I went to the nurse's station. I pulled out the chart I had prepared for him. I added a note about the use of Dramamine and how I thought his medication dosage should be altered. I know this sounds a little unethical, but I needed to have something planned and it would only be administered as needed. I personally checked to make sure that footage of his room was streaming onto a computer and the motion and noise sensors were active. I looked him sleeping one last time from there.

I was beyond relieved to finally have Reid within my fortress of safety, and comfort. But I still felt terrible. He was going to wake up in a state of fear and confusion. And it was only going to get worse. I was prepared to not sleep much from this point on. I needed to be there for Reid as much as possible as he made his descent into Hell and help him find his way out.