A/N: All characters in this story (other than my own OC creations) are the property of JKR. I am happily borrowing her wonderful world. Updated 010212
Chapter 14 - Expectations
The weak light of day came much too quickly on that dismal Saturday morning. Severus had awoken early, as usual, leaving Andrea undisturbed in the bed beside him. After so many late nights patrolling the third floor corridor, Snape had worked himself into a frightful state of exhaustion. The lack of sleep along with the left-over symptoms from his ingestion of Draught of Living Death had left him dangerously close to collapse, but he would never admit it, refusing to waste even a single moment on lazy indulgences.
As Severus dressed, the searing pain of his mauled leg slowed his progress, but he reaffirmed his decision to stay away from the hospital ward. It was essential that the blasted beast be kept a secret, and surely if he appeared with an unexplained leg bite, the entire school would soon hear about it. Poppy could keep secrets, but there were always eavesdroppers.
Instead, the Potions master retreated to his lab and attempted to heal the wounds himself. Even though he was fairly adept at magical healing, Snape's tired mind failed him that morning. His debilitating weariness overwhelmed his usual abilities, thus making the task a much longer job than he expected. Even after he'd finished, his stride was still marred by an unsightly limp.
By seven o'clock, Andrea had finally flushed the sleep out of her eyes and gotten out of bed. Sick with worry, she hoped Severus had been smart enough to visit Poppy as he'd promised. His wound had looked particularly vicious, and it could only lead to infection or permanent injury. While combing out her hair, Andrea's mind flooded with a plague of questions. How had he gotten that bite, and what kind of creature had inflicted it? Could it still be in the castle and, most importantly, was Severus still in danger?
Knowing that she'd be risking Severus's wrath, Andrea decided to go after him. Perhaps direct confrontation could shame him into going to the hospital ward. If she incurred the end of his waspish tongue in the process, then so be it. It wouldn't be the first time, and God willing, it would certainly not be the last.
Heading out into the corridor, Andrea made her way toward the Great Hall. By the display of house colors adorning the walls, it was obvious that the first Quidditch match of the year was upon them, and Severus was sure to be in attendance. Andrea knew the game wasn't scheduled to start until eleven o'clock, so she went to search for him elsewhere.
Having no luck in his lab, Andrea decided to try the hospital wing next, but again, he had evaded her. This fruitless journey was beginning to look like a fool's errand, but as she contemplated her next step, it suddenly dawned on Andrea that Severus had not had his breakfast cured.
Sadly, she began to wonder. Had he wanted to avoid her? Was her failure to find him a planned result? If so, why? The odd set of circumstances had piled up more suspicious questions than answers. Eventually, she decided the best thing to do was to go to Dumbledore. She hated to admit it, but she needed help. Luckily, he was in his office.
"It is so nice to see you, my dear," he greeted her in a gentlemanly fashion before taking her hand. As always, a twinkle of mischief played about his sparkling blue eyes.
"Albus, have you seen Severus this morning?" There was no time for chitchat. She needed to get right to the point.
"Why no, but I imagine he is working in his lab," Dumbledore replied as if nothing at all was amiss. "Or perhaps he felt it necessary to give his Quidditch team a last minute word of encouragement." Even though the headmaster knew that Severus had been watching the third floor corridor the previous night, he had no reason to believe that anything was wrong. But now with Andrea's appearance, he became curious. Slyly, he turned the inquiry back in her direction. "Why do you ask?"
"Well," Andrea began. "He forgot to take his cure this morning, and I was worried." From out of her robe pocket, she pulled a small containment bubble. The small bubble of air held a blueberry crumpet fresh from the Hogwarts' kitchen protected by a stasis spell.
"If you give it to me, I will make sure he gets it," Dumbledore offered helpfully.
"I suppose, but …" Andrea wanted to say more, but she changed her mind. Instead she settled on a polite response. "That would be nice."
The headmaster searched her eyes with a piercing directness knowing there was much more she wanted to say, but she avoided his glances and quickly looked away.
"Was there anything else, Andrea?"
Staring past Dumbledore out of the window behind his desk, Andrea silently weighed her options. If she revealed her discovery, she would surely risk Severus's anger, and yet the act of concealment might actually harm him. There was also the possibility of considerable risk to the students if a dangerous creature was, indeed, loose on the grounds. That prospect was not at all an acceptable outcome.
Nodding her head, Andrea made a decision. "Yes. It's about Severus. When he came to bed last night, he had a large wound on his leg with these awful serrated cuts that looked just like teeth marks. Oh, Albus, it was so horrible, but he wouldn't even let me touch it. He … he was trying to hide it from me. I think, well, do you know what might have happened to him?" Frowning, her eyebrows forced a little 'v' to appear in the middle of her forehead.
Andrea's revelation was news to the headmaster. Thinking quickly, Albus couldn't help being a bit disappointed. Severus should have had more sense. How could the man have allowed himself to be bitten? In any case, it was incredibly foolish to have shown the wound to his wife.
Without answering, Dumbledore walked to the fireplace and tossed in a pinch of Floo powder. It was time to fetch Severus and unravel this mystery. Wherever Severus had been, he'd immediately heard the summons and stepped through the Floo.
"You called, Headmaster?" he asked politely. As he entered, his eyes fell upon Andrea, and his expression quickly turned unreadable, erasing all emotion.
"Severus, Andrea tells me you have forgotten to eat your crumpet this morning," Dumbledore admonished as his eyes stared intently at Snape. The statement was an inquiry as well as a warning.
"Yes," Severus addressed his wife. "I … should have awakened you … before I left." Without an apology, he slowly reached over and took the small bubble bag from where she'd laid it on the desk, purposely avoiding her gaze.
In the midst of the couple's awkward exchange, Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and addressed Severus like a concerned father. "You really should take care of that leg. Andrea is quite worried, and rightly so." Severus made no response. Undeterred, the headmaster continued. "Thank you, by the way, for assisting Hagrid with Fluffy yesterday."
Andrea's mouth dropped open in astonishment. "Fluffy?"
"Yes, I suppose you might not have heard. Hagrid has acquired a three-headed dog. From what I understand, it is quite nasty." The headmaster flicked his eyes meaningfully up at Severus, but there was absolutely no change in the man's demeanor. Snape's face seemed carved in stone. "You know Hagrid," Dumbledore added with a small chuckle, "always finding a new pet."
Andrea narrowed her eyes and looked suspiciously from Albus to Severus. Whatever story the headmaster was spinning, she wasn't buying it. There was much more to this tale than either one of them were willing to share. Looking directly at Severus, she replied, "Yes, he does seem to have a very strange collection." He hadn't moved.
"I'll have the bite attended to. Thank you, Headmaster," Severus promised respectfully, bowing his head a minute fraction.
Unable to help himself, a mischievous grin appeared at the corners of Dumbledore's mouth. Pointing his wand he said, "Severus, don't forget to eat the crumpet."
Frowning, Snape looked at it. Almost disdainfully, he took a small bite.
"Well, enjoy the Quidditch match today." Dumbledore sat down at his desk and began to study some letters. In the awkward silence that followed, the Snapes both understood they had just been dismissed. There would be no more discussion that morning. Retreating toward the door, Andrea left first followed closely by Severus. The uncomfortable stillness followed the two as they progressed down the steps.
Upon reaching the entrance, Andrea turned to confront her husband. "I don't know what you two are up to," she accused. "But I don't like it."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," he answered with a detached air, looking away down the corridor.
"You know exactly what I mean. I don't understand why you're trying to hide this from me." Then with a sudden insight she added, "Does this have anything to do with that Potter boy?"
Immediately Severus's head spun around, his eyes flashing with anger. But he realized his error and quickly looked away.
"That's it, isn't it?" she said triumphantly. "Or part of it."
"Whatever dastardly conclusions you've dreamt up in your overly inventive mind are too ridiculous to deign a response. And it seems I need to be blunt for you to understand, so let me make this perfectly clear. It's none of your goddamn business," Severus spluttered, his voice wickedly calm. Yet his visage was on fire as he glared cruelly down at her. Then to punctuate his statement, he crushed the half-eaten crumpet in his fist before throwing it distastefully onto the floor. With a final wicked sneer, he turned and marched away down the corridor his black robes swishing across the stones like a vulture's wings behind him.
Shocked was not a bold enough word to describe Andrea's reaction as she stared at the broken remnants of the cure that now lay smashed and unwanted on the floor of the hallway. As if in whiplash, the pain of his action caused her to shudder violently as she took a step back. He actions had proved his statements to be all too clear. Forlornly, she looked down the now deserted passageway and attempted to blink away the onslaught of hot, stinging tears that forced their way onto her cheeks, but it was impossible. In a daze of confusion she fumbled for a morsel of sanity, but there seemed to be nothing left to hold onto.
Swallowing hard, Andrea bent down to pick up the pieces and realized again what a mysterious man she had married. Deep down she knew his words were designed to keep her away from the truth, and as her tearful reaction subsided into deeper thought, her curiosity grew even hotter. This was not the end of the discussion. Not by a long shot.
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Filled with self-pity, Severus attended the game alone and afterward returned to his office to think. Closing his eyes briefly, he cursed to himself, still seething with turmoil as he reflected on the events of the afternoon. Tilting his chair slightly, his tired frame rocked backward toward the wall, the old wood creaking in displeasure under his abuse.
Before the encounter in Dumbledore's office, he had hoped that Andrea might join him at the game. But after his disgusting performance in the corridor earlier that morning, he knew the seat next to him would be empty. He had no one to blame but himself. Somehow, he knew he had stepped over some unseen line when he'd thrown down that crumpet. Why had he been such a fool?
With a clouded expression, he thought about the play of events that occurred at the match. It all started with Quirrell's jinx. The evil act had forced Severus to utter a counter-curse to save Potter's worthless life. But somehow during the episode, Snape's robes had started on fire, burning the calf of his left leg. After all the speculation, the facts seemed to finally come together. Severus realized that the man had been trying to kill Harry – Harry wasn't in cahoots with Quirrell, but rather Quirrell was trying to kill Harry Potter. But why? What impediment would Harry have to Quirrell's acquiring the Philosopher's stone?
Severus realized that the Dark Arts professor had been responsible for the jinx, but would Dumbledore believe him? The headmaster knew about Snape's desire to teach the Defense against the Dark Arts class. Perhaps the old man would simply think he was jealous, not realizing the danger.
Even though Severus knew that Dumbledore trusted him, he wondered if perhaps the headmaster might still carry some doubts. Hopefully Albus understood that Snape would never go back to his old ways. After an entire decade of mulling over his guilt and regret, Severus realized that the lure of power from the Dark Arts had literally poisoned his life. It was true that the mistake with Lily had been the jolt that forced him to change sides, but Merlin knew it had been a costly mistake.
It was no use. No matter how hard Severus tried to push the memories out of his mind, they always came back with a vengeance. And now, that blasted Potter boy was a constant reminder.
Leaning forward onto his desk, Snape put his head in his hands. His entire body felt like cement. He was so very tired.
Drifting again, Severus's thoughts moved back to his wife. The meeting with Albus and Andrea earlier that day had been a complete disaster. Snape hadn't told the headmaster about his encounter with Fluffy, but the old man had come to his aid and covered for him anyway. Knowing how disappointed Dumbledore was in Snape's behavior, Severus gritted his teeth.
Slouching back in his chair, Severus wrapped himself up in his cape. Exhausted, he closed his eyes, and promptly, a vision of Andrea appeared. She was smiling devilishly up at him with the sun glistening in her hair … her golden red hair. God, she was so beautiful, and he needed her so much. Why had he been so stupid? There was only one solution. He had to apologize, but what could he say? Perhaps he would simply tell her a small portion of the facts. Trouble was, indeed, brewing, and she might have even guessed that much, but she couldn't know the details. In the end, she would just have to trust him.
As the November afternoon drew to a close, a blanket of darkness rolled inevitably into the dungeons to find the Potions master fast asleep. It wasn't until the clock in his office struck six that Severus awoke with a start. With a bit of irritation, he realized he must have dozed off. It was almost dinnertime. Sighing, he became conscious of how hungry he'd become, having skipped both breakfast and lunch.
Snape rubbed his eyes. The action seemed to clear his thoughts, and in the process his cunning Slytherin mind presented him with an idea. When meeting Andrea in the hall, he would act as if nothing had happened, and surely, by the end of the meal, everything would be back to normal. She knew how tired he was. Perhaps she would simply forgive his outburst, and they could continue as before. Quite pleased with his plan, Severus swept toward the door with a confident stride. For the first time in days, his ugly mood lifted.
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After the meeting with Dumbledore, Andrea had gone back to her own apartment adjacent to the wand workshop. The Snapes had been using Severus's rooms for their new home since their return, but she had yet to permanently move any of her belongings. She'd been trying to convince Severus to move up to her apartment instead, but they seemed to be at loggerheads on the subject. It was just as well, she thought. Perhaps her dreams of a happy marriage were just that – fading unattainable dreams.
With heartfelt longing, Andrea's mind floated back to the long talks the two had enjoyed last year by the fire. Although Severus had been distant at first, the intellectual discussions had brought them together and led their relationship into a tight bond. So why was this year so different? They'd been through so much together, experiences that should have brought them closer together, and yet they seemed more distant than ever. What did she really know about Severus and his past? And what made him so moody? She knew about Lily and about the Dark Lord's attack against his childhood friend. What she didn't understand was his time with the Death Eaters, his motivation and what exactly him to change sides.
For over a week now she'd felt sick with worry, the illness coming in waves, but she kept quiet about it. Severus would think it was a weakness, and so she lied. It was a vicious circle. The more she worried, the sicker she became, each new suspicion resulting in yet another wave of nausea. Concealing the symptoms, she tried to figure out a way to get him to open up to her. Yet, it was obvious that she'd have to be the one to take the first step and confront him again. She couldn't let this go on. Somehow, she'd have to find a way to make him talk to her.
Sighing, Andrea looked at her watch. It was almost dinnertime. Like every other day in order for them to act like other married couples or even to exist in the same room, Severus would have to eat something she had 'cured.' Today's meal was no exception. The fact was especially true, as he'd hardly eaten any of this morning's preparation. But would he even want it?
Flinging a pinch of Floo powder into the grate, she called down to the kitchens and asked one of the elves to bring up some biscuits and tea for him to eat later. When they arrived, she placed them on the table in front of the fire in her own sitting room and added the spell. Then, as if in response to her worry, a wave of nausea flooded her senses. The resulting dizziness forced her to retreat to her bedroom, not having enough strength to return to Severus's apartment. Hopefully, he would look for her here.
Filled with confidence, Severus arrived in the Great Hall, his eyes searching for Andrea as he limped forward toward the staff table. Both of his legs hurt now. One was aching from that blasted bite, and the other was searing from the confounded burn. Frowning, he realized at once that Andrea was not in her usual spot, yet he sat down next to the open seat anyway and waited, his ever-watchful eyes staring like a Muggle searchlight out over the crowd.
Halfway down the table of troublesome Gryffindor students, Harry Potter and his two fellow conspirators sat blissfully enjoying their meal. Although Snape was relieved that the arrogant child was safe for the moment, he wondered why the boy was so happy. Most likely it was due to the afternoon's Gryffindor win of which Severus was doing his best to ignore, but could it be for a very different reason? Slowly Snape turned attention to the other end of the staff table where Quirrell sat like a nervous chicken pecking at his food. Ever watchful, Severus shifted his gaze across the hall periodically with narrowed eyes studying the man's twitchy actions.
"Severus," Pomona said curiously as she pulled his attention reluctantly to the vacant seat beside him. "I see your wife didn't make it to dinner again tonight."
In response looked back at her curiously as a thread of suspicion began to tickle his brain. Scowling, Severus scooped a large pile of mashed potatoes and roast beef onto his plate. He was famished, but as he lifted his fork, he began to wonder. Where was Andrea, anyway? What could possibly be keeping her? Impatiently, he looked again to the staff door and willed it to open, but the door remained closed.
"Well, someone's hungry," Professor Sprout observed with a chuckle as she glanced at Snape's unusually heaping plate.
"And why wouldn't I be? Like everyone else, I missed lunch," he growled, finally beginning to eat.
"I imagine most people did. Everyone was at the Quidditch match today. I saw you there, but come to think of it, I didn't see Andrea. Is she all right?"
"She's fine," Severus responded automatically. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, she's been so sick lately. All week on and off. You know, that could be a sign of pregnancy." Pomona surreptitiously flicked her eyes toward Severus to see his reaction, and she was not disappointed. He spat out the water he was drinking like a poisonous cocktail as his eyes grew to almost double their usual size. Discretely, Pomona managed to hide her smile while Severus quickly turned his head away in an attempt to avoid her prying gaze.
The thoughts moved across his brain like thunderbolts on a lightning rod. Was it really happening? He knew he should have been prepared for this, but still, it was a shock. His mind had been so preoccupied with that blasted stone that he'd completely forgotten about Andrea's probable condition. Was that why she hadn't come to dinner? And why was she hiding it from him?
Pomona shook her head, the concern showing in her eyes. "Well, in any case, tell her I was asking about her."
Severus nodded and then coughed, feeling the flush that had risen to his cheeks. When Pomona noticed, she gave him a knowing, motherly smile.
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about if she is," Pomona offered. "I just hope it's nothing more serious. She's been through so much already."
His mind racing, Severus put his fork down. He had to find Andrea right away.
"I'm sorry, Professor. I need to attend to something. I'll pass along your concerns to my wife." Without another word, he got up and quickly limped out through the staff door.
At first, Severus rushed down to his own dungeon apartment, but the bedroom was vacant and dark. Immediately, he reversed direction and returned back up the spiral staircase and along to Andrea's rooms. When he entered, his eyes fell immediately upon the plate of biscuits and the pot of tea that was set out on the table. A note on the tray drew his attention.
Severus,
The cookies are cured, if you want them.
A.
Cookies. With a snort of breath Snape sat down on the love seat and slowly began to eat, thinking about Andrea and her American ways. But her words also resurrected the guilt he'd felt about what he'd done to her outside of Dumbledore's office. The remorse mingled with anxiety as he remembered Pomona words. A child. His eyes narrowed, however, as the next question flooded into his brain. Is it mine?
Staring into the fire, Severus's deep thoughts were stirred by the abnormal quiet, the only noise coming from the spitting of the logs in the grate. His gaze moved like a magnet toward the bedroom, but the space was shrouded in shadows. Perhaps Andrea had simply gone to bed early, but why then, hadn't she come to his bed where she belonged? But as he listened, Snape heard a faint noise, and his heart wrenched. The muffled sound seemed to be that of weeping. Stealthily, he moved to the bedroom doorway and peered into the darkness. She was there all right, lying on the bed, with the moonlight softly caressing her wet face.
Sensing his presence, Andrea looked up, but her vision was blocked by the glow of the fireplace beyond. All she could see was the outline of a body. Next to her, Andrea's cat Alex had curled up in the crook of her arm, snuggling into the warmth of her body. It looked to Severus as if the cat had replaced him for the time being. A silly flush of jealously tugged at his heart, but he quickly brushed it away.
The view from Severus's angle was quite clear, and the man became transfixed by the beauty he beheld. The creamy, pink features of Andrea's skin reflected the moon glow like a marble statue.
"Severus?"
"Yes," he answered gently. Like the cat already on the bed, he slinked forward and took Andrea in his arms, his sinewy, muscled limbs squeezing her warm body against his chest. "Why are you crying?" he murmured into her ear.
"I thought," she gulped. "I thought … this morning … you said—"
"I say a lot of things," he paused trying to carefully compose an answer. "I have … been preoccupied with other concerns, and I … I should not have … taken it out on you. That was not my intention." Andrea shook her head and turned away. Clearly, she was hurt. Taking her chin in his hand, he gazed into her moist, blue eyes. "You must not cry," he admonished as he wiped away the tears with the tip of his finger. After a long silence, a small smile crept across his face. "You are very wet."
Andrea looked into his liquid obsidian eyes, but she did not smile back. Instead she bit her lip and finally spoke. "God, I missed you."
Struggling for a proper retort, his usual wit failed him. Instead, all he could manage was the truth. "I have missed you, too," he replied, opening his soul to her.
His lips barely touched her cheek, but the electricity of the contact coursed through her body like a marching army. Kissing her softly on the lips, Severus let his black eyes sweep across Andrea's face as the fingers of his right hand stroked her cheek. Then, in a building need, he kissed her again, but with much more strength. It wasn't long before he started to unbutton the top of his frock coat, but then he remembered: she could be pregnant. Maybe they shouldn't – maybe it would hurt her.
Not understanding, Andrea looked up at him quizzically. "What's the matter?" she asked, lifting her face toward him.
Leaning forward, she kissed him full on the lips, her actions demanding his attention in a seductive invitation. Without thought, his body answered, yet his mind forced himself to take control. Once again he moved away from her expectant form, but this time he got up off the bed.
"Pomona said you've been sick."
"It's nothing," she replied evasively. "Just a little upset stomach. I guess I should have told you, but we haven't had a chance to talk." Turning to him suddenly, she looked in his eyes, her expression filled with worry. "It's just ... I wish you'd tell me what's going on. You keep hiding things from me, and I'm not stupid. I know you're doing something with Dumbledore …"
"I can't—" he started to speak, but she held up her hand.
"Don't say it. I know I have no right to pry, and you know I trust you. It's just that I don't want you to get hurt, and when you came to bed last night with that bite, I had to say something." She paused slightly as the thought of losing him gripped her heart. "I need you back in my life. I hate it when we fight."
"You're sick because you're worried? That doesn't make sense."
"Of course it does. What else could it be?" Andrea blinked up at him innocently, her wide eyes filled with love.
"Well …" This was going to be very hard to say. He needed to summon all of his courage for this. "Pomona said you've been sick all week."
"Yes," she agreed, "I've been so worried."
"And it seemed to come and go?"
"Yes, especially in the mornings after you left."
"Mornings?" Severus again felt his face flush. With a frown of concern, he returned to the bed and sat next to her. With a great tenderness, he took her hand in his.
In response, she looked up at him quizzically. "Yes, well, I would worry about you ... you know … when you left …" her voice trailed off. "Severus, what's the matter?" Then, when she saw the look of wonderment in his eyes she suddenly knew.
"Oh, shit." The pieces had finally come together. Overwhelmed, she turned away and covered her mouth.
"Look at me," he demanded, afraid of how this would affect her. "Please, say something."
"I'm pregnant," she responded dully. "That's why I've been sick." It was the obvious conclusion, and she was upset with herself for not figuring it out sooner. It was just that she'd wanted to put it all out of her mind. In reality, she knew she should have been prepared. The whole thing had somehow snuck up on her, and the resulting truth was difficult to swallow.
"You must see Poppy straight away." Severus was getting anxious. At first his heart had leapt with joy, but then like a cloud moving in front of the sun, he thought of the Dark Lord and how Andrea had been ripe with that insidious fertility potion that he had given her.
Andrea must have noticed the change in his expression, and quickly sat up. "Don't – don't think about it!" She reached over and pulled him fiercely against her. "We can't turn the clock back. Besides, you were the first one – after you gave me the potion. There's a chance the baby is yours."
As Andrea continued to look at him, his eyes narrowed, and a single eyebrow lifted in suspicion as he released his hold on her. How did she know he was thinking of the potion? "It would seem that you are hiding something from me."
Andrea simply opened her mouth and stared back at him, a mystified look in her expressive eyes.
"You were practicing Legilimency on me just now," he stated. It was his turn to remain silent. With his eyebrow frozen in a cocked position, he eyed her curiously and waited.
Well, yes … sort of." Andrea turned away and lowered her gaze. "I've had a small amount of instruction," she admitted, but a small smile crept onto her lips. "But I think perhaps I'm not the only one that is familiar with the art."
"You are correct," he conceded. "I am a practiced Ligilimens, but how long have you known?"
"Oh, I think … right around Christmas last year. Do you remember the night we started our research? You looked at me in just the right way, and I felt you enter my mind. Of course, I couldn't stop you."
"Dumbledore was right. You must be taught Occlumency. I was a fool for delaying it. Anyone with half a brain could read you. Wherever did you get your training?"
"I studied under a Professor of Divination in Chicago. He wasn't very good at foretelling the future, but he was well versed in Legilimency. I suspect that's why he fooled a lot of people. He simply guessed what might happen based on what he saw of a person's thoughts." She smiled and shook her head. "When I taught at the school, Professor Roemer said Legilimency was so easy for me because I'm what is called, a natural. Even before he taught me, I was able to do some very odd things."
"You're a natural? I've only heard rumors of this. I've never met anyone who could actually—"
"Read minds?" Andrea interrupted.
"No one can read minds. That's a Muggle dream." Severus bristled slightly, but he was intrigued.
"I know, and it's not really like that for me either. What happens is very irregular, but sometimes I can see things. It's not like I'm able to dig in your mind. I just see what you're thinking – right at that moment. It's not a vision, really, but rather like peering through a window. Sometimes it happens when I want it to, but most times not."
"What did you see?"
"Well, you were looking at me, and I felt a link open up and I … I felt your worry." Severus's face smoothed as he paid particular attention to his Occlumency walls. They seemed to be intact now, but had he let them slip earlier?
"As far as learning true Legilimency," Andrea continued. "I never really got the hang of it."
"Then why have you been hiding this from me?"
"I wasn't. I just … I don't really think about."
"You need to trust me," Severus urged. "You have nothing to fear."
"Trust you?" Andrea replied, her hurt expression returning. "When you hide almost everything you do from me?" Severus's expression grew somber, but he did not turn away. "If I have nothing to fear, then why didn't you tell me about your ability?" He didn't answer. Instead, he simply moved his eyes to Andrea's lips and slid his hand along her cheek. Impatiently, she pushed his hand away and laced her fingers in his. "You want me to tell you everything, yet you keep half of your life hidden from me. How is that fair?"
"It isn't," Severus sighed. "I can only say that there is a very good reason. One I cannot share. "
"Why? I already know about You-Know-Who, and from what I've seen of your thoughts, I—"
"When? What thoughts? What have you seen?" Anxiously, Severus demanded an answer, his eyes widening with urgency. How could it be possible? His Occlumency skills should never have allowed her entry. In the least, he should have sensed her breaking through his walls.
"Nothing! Just some images." Wincing at his intensity, Andrea tried to explain. "I've only been able to get through a few times, mostly when you're angry or when we're …" She cleared her throat. "You know …"
"What?"
"When we're … um …" She coughed and then smirked slightly before she continued. "When we're making love."
"And you saw something?" An eyebrow was immediately raised. This was really beginning to worry him.
"I …" Andrea sighed. "When we were in the corridor by Dumbledore's office. I saw this vision come from you, but I didn't understand it. It was … Quirrell. He was smirking at you. Why were you thinking about that?"
"I don't remember," Severus flicked his eyes downward at their joined hands, avoiding her gaze.
"Okay." She sighed irritably. "I get it. You won't tell me, and it doesn't seem like I can change your mind."
"As I said. You must trust me," Severus replied, his voice softening. "In any case, it seems we have much to learn about each other. At the very least, it proves more that I need to teach you Occlumency. Your mind is much too open to intruders, and if you have access to any secrets—"
Again, she interrupted. "If I'm so vulnerable, then why haven't you discovered my humble talent? Or maybe my skill is better than yours?" Andrea responded challengingly.
"Your skill is, as you say, untrained. Although I agree that you are gifted, it is also true that you know nothing of defense. I've been able to read your emotions like a flag run up on a pole. Your thoughts are as transparent to me as a plate of glass."
Andrea sighed. She knew he was right.
"If you were better protected, I could tell you so much more of what I'm doing. I need to be sure that the Dark Lord would never interpret your thoughts. You have the potential, but ..." He frowned and placed his other hand on top of their joined ones. There was another reason he hesitated. If she were to become proficient in shutting him out, how could he ever be sure that she still loved him? Unfortunately, the need for secrecy outweighed his selfish desires. In the end, he would just have to trust her as much as he needed her to trust him in return.
"Please teach me," Andrea urged. "I'd like to try."
"Then we shall proceed. With any luck, your skills will make the endeavor an easier one than your attempt at Potions." Twisting his mouth into a teasing smirk, he added, "I understand that women usually have trouble with this."
"Okay, now you're asking for trouble. I'm going to bet that I'll be better than you!" Severus's smirk grew at her comment knowing her competitive spirit was driving her to make the challenge.
"That is impossible. You may as well admit defeat now. It has already been documented that strawberry blondes with exceeding long hair have the most difficulty—" Severus teased, but he never had the opportunity to finish his sentence. With a double twitch of her wand, Andrea pulled the quilt off the bed and wrapped them both up tightly in a whirling mass of cloth. It wasn't long before they were both laughing.
Slightly out of breath, Severus took advantage of the close quarters and nuzzled her neck while his legs and arms pinned her in an unmovable lock. Then he grew serious once again. "It seems our lives have taken on the attributes of a roller coaster. First we're on cloud nine, and then as predictably as a solar eclipse, we are slammed back down to earth."
"But, we survive. I wouldn't want to miss the next hill." Her sky-blue eyes returned his challenging gaze, and she smiled up at him with a full heart.
"I suppose I'll just have to hold on a bit tighter," he said. "Or perhaps you could find it in your diabolical plan to release me?"
"Sure," she answered with a sigh and then shook her wand like a saltshaker. Immediately, the quilt unraveled its hold.
Falling back on the bed, Severus took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "So, I'll be a father, and you—"
"Yes, I'll be a mom – a mother, for heaven sakes. But, maybe it's a false alarm, although I am late with my cycle."
Closing his eyes briefly, he shook his head. "No, it is not a false alarm," he announced precisely in his very low voice. "You must see Madame Pomfrey right away tomorrow morning."
"Yes, yes," she agreed before pulling him into a hug once more.
"Wait," Severus said as he leapt right off the bed. "You haven't had any dinner. Did you eat anything for lunch or breakfast? Let me get you something." Frustrated, he looked at the time. It was nearly nine and time for his patrol.
"Blast, I have to go." Frowning, he looked down into her questioning eyes, but he could give her no answers. "I'll call one of the house elves to bring you some food," he added. "What do you feel like eating? Anything?"
"How about some tuna sandwiches?" She replied, grinning up at him impishly.
"You are intolerable, my dear wife. Thank God, I'm leaving. Make sure you brush your teeth afterward," he called over his shoulder as he hurried to leave.
Just as he passed through the door, Andrea yelled after him, "Button up your coat."
"Yes, Mummy," he answered with a teasing lilt, and before she could reply, he had donned his cloak with a flutter and left her alone to think.
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When Sunday arrived it was with unseasonal, balmy warmth. To prove the point, the November sun streamed through the window with careless abandon. This time it was Andrea that woke up first. Severus had returned to his wife's apartment a little after two in the morning and snuck quietly into her bed. When she got up at seven, he was still sleeping soundly next to her, the covers tossed to the side unwanted. Only a thin gray nightshirt protected his long slender body from the elements. With a tender smile, Andrea drew up the quilts and tucked them neatly around his frame before bestowing a single kiss on his cheek.
A quiet Sunday morning was the perfect time to visit the hospital wing. Hopefully, Andrea thought, she could see the nurse quickly and get back without anyone seeing her. She got dressed and hurried on her way glancing back just one more time to make sure Severus was still asleep.
A few minutes later, Andrea entered the ward, relieved to see that Madame Pomfrey was already up and bustling about her work. The woman was busy attending to two unfortunate students that had a bit of bad luck during yesterday's Quidditch match.
After taking a deep breath, Andrea approached the nurse. "I'm sorry to interrupt you, Poppy, but I was hoping I could ask you a few questions. Do you have a moment?"
"Certainly. I'll be with you shortly. Why don't you wait for me in my office?" Without waiting for a reply, Poppy marched off between the rows of beds with a strange looking orange bottle tucked under her arm. As she walked, a few stray iridescent bubbles followed along in her wake like a brood of goslings.
As promised, Madame Pomfrey appeared at the door to her office only five minutes later. Without bothering to sit down, the nurse placed her hand on Andrea's forehead and then pinched the Wand mistress's wrist with a sturdy set of fingers.
"Now, what seems to be the problem?" Poppy asked, her question as direct as an arrow.
"Well, nothing really serious. It's just that …" Andrea paused and cleared her throat. "I've had some recurring nausea and a bit of dizziness lately. Actually, it's not that serious. It's just that I've been under a little stress and—" Andrea had a bad habit of babbling like an unstoppable train when she was nervous. Today was no exception.
The nurse nodded and then efficiently interrupted the steady stream of words. "Let's get you over to the examination area." Without pausing, Poppy directed Andrea behind a curtain, allowing for at least a small amount of privacy away from the children. In a hushed voice, she explained her symptoms to the nurse.
"Poppy," she asked anxiously, "I know it seems like a silly question, but … um … could I be pregnant?"
Immediately the nurse lifted an eyebrow, remembering the conversation she had had with Severus only a few weeks before when he had inquired her about his wife's condition. Tactfully, she kept it to herself. Instead she put her hand on Andrea's belly and moved her fingers in circles across the front of her robes.
"You know, it's been a long time since I've diagnosed this sort of thing," Poppy confessed. "But pregnancy was actually my specialty after leaving Hogwarts. My goodness, that was over thirty years ago."
Andrea smiled and put her hand on Poppy's. "Don't worry, I trust you."
Poppy looked down at her hand, and then her eyes grew wide. "Oh my," she said with a look of astonishment.
Seeing Poppy's expression, Andrea felt a chill of fear tingle down her spine. "What do you mean, 'Oh my'?"
"Don't worry. Everything's fine," Poppy answered with a confident smile. "It looks like Severus is going to be a father."
Shyly, Andrea felt her face grow as warm as a hot toaster, but she couldn't help but smile back. "You're sure?"
"More than I've ever been with a pregnancy. It's so strong." Poppy replied with amazement.
Moving her wand around to the sides of Andrea's body and then to the front, the nurse hesitated. Then she repeated the motions for a second time and then again, just to be sure. Finally Poppy declared, "I know why."
"Tell me, Poppy." Expecting the worst, Andrea's eyes widened. "Please, is it … is it normal?" The last word came out in a squeak.
"Of course it's normal!" Poppy announced happily. "Or to be correct, they are both normal. You're having twins."
"Tw… tw … twins?" Andrea spluttered, her amazed voice cutting through the silence of the ward like a broadsword. Remembering that there were little children's ears just a few feet away, her voice fell to a whisper. "Oh no! Severus will kill me if this gets out."
"If he does, you just kill him back," Poppy replied, her face breaking into a grin. She continued remembering Snape's earlier curious visit. "Y'know, I'm surprised he didn't insist on coming with you."
"I snuck out. He's fast asleep."
"My, my, babies at Hogwarts," Poppy sighed. "I never thought I'd see the day. You must be thrilled."
"Yes, but are they healthy? You said they seemed normal. Can you tell anything else?"
"I was never good at Divination, but I can tell you this. They're going to be very strong. One or both of them are going to be very powerful wizards."
Andrea was astounded. "You can tell that?"
"Yes," she said. "The magical signature is stronger than I've ever felt before, but it could just be the combination of the two babies. In any case," she concluded brightly, "you are not carrying a couple of squibs."
Pausing to let herself recover from the startling news, Andrea took a deep breath before she asked, "Can you tell me a due date?"
Without hesitation, Poppy asked for details. "Can you tell me when it happened?"
"Well," Andrea blushed again, but then confessed, "I think it might have been October eleventh." Nervously, she cleared her throat thinking of the night before their wedding when they had taken the fertility potion. "But, it could have been even earlier – maybe even as early as September twenty-eighth." Madame Pomfrey knew that the Snapes had been married on October 12, but she knew like everyone else, that Andrea had arrived back from America exactly two weeks before that. Professor Snape hadn't wasted any time.
Taking the time to get the date correct, Poppy thought a moment before disclosing her prediction. "I believe they should come about the first of July." Then she smiled and added, "Give or take a week or so. We'll know more as we get closer to your delivery."
Andrea was relieved. "So that means I'll have two months before the start of the fall term. I guess that's a good thing." Shaking her head, she repeated in awe, "My God, Poppy, I'll have two babies when school starts again. What am I going to do with twins?"
"Give yourself some time to get used to the idea. It's a big shock. But, frankly, I still can't believe you got pregnant so fast. The good hands of fate must be at work."
The hands of a certain Potion master were more like it, Andrea thought wryly. And his hands weren't the only body part involved.
"I suppose you're right. Well, thank you, Poppy. I suppose we'll be seeing a lot of each other in the next few months."
"Yes. Come back and see me around mid-December, and we'll see how things are progressing. For now, just relax and make sure you eat right. You know the old saying: 'Good wizards come from smart witches.'"
"Yes, you're right. Thank you."
For a long moment, Andrea waited. Her mind had settled on another important detail, but was it something she should share with Poppy? Only Severus and the headmaster were aware of all of the events that had occurred at the Riddle mansion, but Poppy might need to understand the entire situation – just in case. Besides, Andrea was sure the nurse would consider the information confidential. The secret would surely be safe with Poppy.
Having made her decision, Andrea looked around cautiously. The examination area was still separated from the rest of the ward by the small curtain of privacy.
"Poppy, there is one more thing."
"Yes?" Poppy had already sat back down at her desk to write up her notes, but she looked up and eyed Andrea curiously.
"I need to ask you something else, but I need you to keep this absolutely quiet." Suspiciously, Andrea peeped out from behind the curtain toward the children on the other side, but they were halfway down the ward, far enough away to dispel her worry. "I know you're aware that I was … ah … compromised by one of the Death Eaters."
"Yes," Poppy's eyes narrowed.
"Oh Poppy, they came every day and …" Andrea swallowed hard. "I must ask you. Can you be sure the twins are ours? I mean that Severus is the father?" Andrea was hoping desperately that the nurse had some magical method of determination.
"No, I'm so sorry." Sadly, Poppy shook her head. "There's no way at this point to tell. But you must have faith. Surely Severus—"
"Wait," Looking a little crestfallen, Andrea took Poppy's hand. "There's something else. It wasn't just any Death Eater. It was …" Again, Andrea hesitated. "Are we safe here? Can anyone hear us?"
Poppy looked carefully around the curtain at the two students. They were both quietly reading in their beds on the far side of the hall. "Don't worry, we're alone."
"Okay," Andrea said, bracing herself for the reaction. "It was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."
Poppy gasped, and Andrea heard an echoing gasp from just on the other side of the curtain.
"Oh no!"Andrea exclaimed. "Someone heard."
Madame Pomfrey quickly moved the curtain aside, but there was no one there. "It's all right. Go ahead, but I have to ask, how can you be so sure?" Despite her brave words, Poppy was shaking in fear.
"No, I'm sure. V— Voldemort …" Andrea stuttered, surprising herself by saying his name. At the sound of it, Madame Pomfrey gave another gasp. "I mean … You-Know-Who is very weak. He needs a host body to keep him alive. It was another Death Eater that actually … well, that I actually had relations with, but he was controlled by Voldemort. He said it was his – the Dark Lord's – seed that was being given."
"How awful! And you poor thing – you've been keeping this to yourself. You said Severus knows?"
"Yes," Andrea's lip began to quiver, and she closed her eyes. "They made him watch."
Poppy looked away. It was too painful to think about. "If I know Severus, he'll be as angry as a hornet. I wouldn't want to be one of those Death Eaters about now. How is he handling it?"
"I'm not sure. He's been very moody, but that's not unusual. You know, despite everything, I just have this feeling that Severus is the father. Somehow, I just know it. I can't say why. Maybe it's just wishful thinking."
Poppy looked into Andrea's eyes and then patted her hand. "Don't worry. I'm sure everything will be just fine." Somehow, Andrea felt, it had to be. After all, the alternative was unthinkable. With that thought, Andrea promised herself that for the good of her unborn children, she would never speak of it again.
It was time to share the news with Severus.
A/N: Any comments on the rewrites would be greatly appreciated. Again, let me thank my faithful beta Fainting Fancies and all my loyal reviewers: Wendy Waddles, KellieGreen, and animalwriter.
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