Hello! Thank you everyone SO much for waiting for this update! Remember, as I said, Season 2 of PEACOCK starts from this chapter!

Unfortunately, we don't have any beta again. So please forgive me about mistakes.

And today, I have a message from the author of this story!:

"To the readers who always look forward to reading PEACOCK, despite how long it took to update next chapters, your words 'I've been waiting for the update!' saved us. Here the Season 2 will start. The story suddenly took an unexpected turn and shocking things might happen from here. We hope you guys enjoy nonetheless. Thank you!"

Warnings: self-rejection, self-denial and self-harm

But please don't worry! I can assure you that everything will get better!

Season 2 Chapter 1

Broken

***Kurt's POV***

It was dark in my room. I kept the curtains shut because I was afraid of the sunlight.

I saw my hands in front of my eyes. The fingers were thinner than before.

There were no phone calls, nor texts.

There was a cut on my wrist, covered with a wrist band.

I rubbed my sunken, gaunt cheek with my fingers.

I felt my rough skin and stubble.

My hair was so disheveled and looked awful.

I couldn't sit up.

I couldn't feel anything.

I had been broken for some time, refusing the outside world and shutting down my mind.

Blaine was hovering between life and death for a week. When I could finally see him was two weeks later after the accident happened. I waited until he recovered enough to transfer to the local hospital from the one he was carried to.

Since I wanted to be the first person who would see him, I left school early and went to the hospital.

I couldn't wait to see him who came back to Ohio, came back to me.

I went to his room, filled with expectation.

Opening the door and seeing him for the first time in a while, tears started rolling down on my cheeks.

As I went to him and tried to hold his hand, I felt something wrong.

And I was right.

"Who are you?" Blaine said.

I left speechless and he added: "Did I meet you somewhere?" "Did we sleep together before the accident?" "Seriously… Who are you?" "I get scared someone I don't know at all come to me… Can you leave?"

He was the guy...

He was the guy whom I was only in love with.

All of my memory was vanished from him.

Nick later visited Blaine and called me.

"He had those hideous bandages, but everything else was a normal Blaine. It's good. You must be relieved, aren't you, Kurt?"

Normal Blaine.

He remembered everything but me. He deleted only me.

It was the BEST rejection.

I felt like being slapped the fact that he actually didn't love me, feeling more dead than alive.

I wasn't even recognized as someone from his past and left forgotten.

I started to reject myself, and wished I could be gone, so then I would feel better.

There was no guard dog anymore, Cerberus, who protected me.

Since then I had been secluded myself in my house, I didn't leave my room for a week.

There was no phone calls from someone I wanted to hear the voice of.

There was no texts from someone I wanted to receive them from.

Someone, who was rejected, was only falling.

My room was broke open and I was dragged out.

Dad saw my eyes seeing nothing, and he got scared.

It's okay. I'm alive. I'm breathing.

However, in my most important person, I was disappeared and completely gone.

What was love?

What was being loved?

How did I kiss before?

How warm was someone's body?

What did sex mean?

I was afraid of connecting with people.

I was scared to talk to people with eye contact.

Your mouth spoke rejection and fear.

Whom were those fingers and hands touching?

Was it gone? Everything was all gone?

Why did only me not exist?

Were the scratches I left on your back gone?

Don't you need me anymore?

"Kurt!"

I wanna feel better.

"Finn! Call 911! Carol, get some cloths!"

Were you watching your blood flooding like this?

I wish a memory of you in my mind would be washed away too.

When I came around, there was a ceiling I had never seen and I could smell disinfectant.

My left wrist was firmly wrapped up in bandages and an IV needle was in my right arm.

"Finn…" I murmured.

"God, Kurt… I'll tell Burt."

I watched Finn's back, he pressed the nurse call and left the room.

I then noticed something… I remembered the structure of the room.

It was the same hospital where Blaine was…

A black female nurse who looked strong came in along with my dad. "How're you feeling?"

"Not so good…" I answered.

"I figured. But I'm glad you're awake."

Worried-looking dad grabbed my hand and pressed his lips against it. "Kurt…"

"I'm sorry… I won't do it again. I'm sorry…" I told him.

"I shouldn't have left you alone."

After my dad dragged me out of my room, he left me to call Finn for a help. I went back to the room and cut my wrist with a razor.

"It's not your fault, Dad."

"What made you like this? Is it Blaine?"

"Blaine has been in a hospital for weeks, what could he have done? He's still fighting against major injuries himself now."

The cause of the accident Blaine was involved was that a big guy around at the top of the elevator had a heart attack and fell forward.

People on the elevator were standing closely together, which made them impossible to support the ones who fell down from behind one after another. The guy who had a heart attack and some people who became trapped under falling people died.

Luckily, Blaine fell down off from the large amount of people, and that saved his life.

He hit his head hard and bled massively, resulting in hovering between life and death, but he came back to life.

Only without memories about me…

The tears started to shed.

"You're still sitting on a pin. Rest up. I'll come back tomorrow," my dad said.

"Dad, I wanna talk to Finn. Can you call him inside?"

"Sure."

Finn came into the room as the nurse and my dad went out.

After making sure to see through the window Dad went somewhere, I asked him, knowing he knew Blaine was here too. "You didn't put me in this hospital on purpose, did you?"

"No way, Kurt!" Finn said in disbelief.

"Don't tell Dad Blaine is here, or tell Blaine I'm here…" As soon as I mentioned Blaine's name, I snorted. "If you told Blaine, he doesn't know me… Haha." I tried to pretend to be strong, but it only brought me more tears. "Finn, why do you think he forgot only about me…?"

"You can start over again," Finn said.

"He didn't love me…?"

"Why don't you see each other again?"

"There's no guarantees that he would love me again…"

Finn fell silent. But spoke again after a while. "He looked fine. He said they removed stitches from his head."

"Right…"

"Does he really not remember about you?"

"He completely deleted me, so I suggest you should not to bring up anything about me. He thinks I'm creepy."

"Kurt..."

"Do you have any idea how long it will take for me to be discharged?" I asked Finn.

"I don't know… The injury on your wrist is quite deep, so… You should get some rest. I'll stop by again tomorrow."

"Can you tell everyone that I'm fine so that they don't need to visit me?"

Finn didn't reply to it, but held my hand tight with a smile and left.

Then I was alone in the room.

Blaine was here somewhere in this building.

I wanted to see him.

Even if it was from the outside of his room.

I wanted to see Blaine.

I climbed out of the bed. I wasn't dizzy, I was fine.

I had to carry the IV stand with me, but I left the room. 'Bathroom' would be an excuse if someone would ask me where I was going.

Once I was outside of the room, I noticed my room number.

It was 607.

And Blaine's was 610.

I walked down the hall and soon his room appeared in my sight.

As the blind wasn't down, I could see the inside.

There he was.

He had no visitors and was alone.

His body and arms were bandaged up and looked painful, but he had less bandages since I had last saw him. And there was no tubes attached to him.

He looked like he didn't know what to do with his time. He had a magazine open, flipping the pages and then threw it on the side table.

I knew he wanted to smoke.

I could see his frustration quite clearly and a smile was appearing on my face.

And a warm liquid ran down on my cheek.

I still loved him so much.

That fact was so hard for me that I couldn't watch him any longer.

I turned around to go back to my room, wiping the tears, and I realized a man was looking at me.

"Kurt… Aren't you?"

The stranger talked to me and I didn't know how to reply.

"I'm Cooper Anderson, Blaine's brother," the man said.

Oh. This was his brother…

"He showed me your picture, but you must have lost some weight since then."

"Well… Not really…" I lied. Actually I lost about seven kilograms.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"…Yes."

We went to a common room and Cooper gave me a bottle of water.

"Thank you," I said.

He sat in a chair with a deep sigh, and opened his mouth. "I'm sorry…"

That stopped me from opening the bottle.

"Blaine doesn't remember about…"

"It's okay. It's not his fault." I opened the bottle and took a sip.

It seemed like he didn't know where to look but he was peeking at my bandaged left wrist.

I moved my hands, which were on the table, on my knees.

"Why are you staying in the hospital? Did you hurt your wrist?" He asked me, glancing at the IV stand standing next to me and the hospital gown I was wearing.

As I kept quiet, Cooper's face had instantly changed. "No…"

"Please don't tell him! Well… Even if you tell him, it's nothing to do with him and he won't be interested in…"

"It's not that he's not interested in," Cooper revealed.

"What…?"

"Sure, my brother lost memories about you, but… it looked like he was feeling something."

"He's just feeling creepy. Someone whom he didn't know at all came into his room as if he owned the place."

I felt selfish to say that, but I was scared, and didn't want to raise my hopes only to be crushed.

"How is he anyway?" I asked Cooper.

"He's good. He got the stitches removed today, so I guess it'll take only a few days before going home to rest and see a doctor for check-ups."

I was relieved to hear that. "Is he going back to his apartment?"

"Eventually, yes. I'll take care of him about for a week, but once he's able to move around, I'll send him to his home."

I fell silent.

"You must want to take care of him," Cooper guessed correctly and my face was flushed.

In front of Blaine's brother!

I took a deep drink of water, trying to lower my body temperature and failed. "But… I can't anymore. So, please check up on him sometimes…"

"Don't," Cooper cut me off.

"Excuse me?"

"Please don't give up on him. This is sort of my hope, but I think he would hope the same."

I tightened my fists, my voice was trembling. "I… I don't think he'll like me…"

I didn't see the light beyond his rejection when I saw him last time.

"Don't you love him?"

"I do. He's everything to me."

This is not good.

"If I didn't love him, I wouldn't have gotten lost and hurt myself just because he forgot about me…"

My voice was becoming even more quavering.

"Kurt?"

"He forgot about me! Only about me… He was my… everything!"

Cooper was taken aback by my sudden outburst and looked at me surprised, being not to be able to hide it.

A few nurses rushed into the room, probably hearing my yelling. "Mr. Hummel, calm down!"

"Blaine doesn't need me anymore! That's why he forgot about me that easily! Why only me!?"

"Mr. Hummel! You guys, hold him!"

The nurses held my body.

"Tell me! Why did he forget only about me!? We loved each other!"

I was about to pounce on Cooper but suddenly everything was shut down and I blacked out.

As I collapsed, the nurses supported my body and took me to my room.

A nurse who came into the room first noticed Cooper's eyes and turned around. "Mr. Anderson, I have no idea what you said to him but…"

"He's… my brother's boyfriend," Cooper blurted out.

"Okay…"

"He's…"

"You should worry only about your brother," the nurse said, leaving him standing behind with dismay.

Blaine.

Blaine.

Call my name.

Kiss me like you always do.

Stroke my head, with a face which shows your affection for me.

Touch me with your hand.

Then I'll be wet right away.

Come inside me. Now.

Go deeper.

Rub the inside and thrust me up.

I wanna have mind-blowing sex with you.

I'm excited in mind but my body doesn't react.

My mind,

And body,

Everything went crazy because of you.

The price you forget only about me is huge.

I will haunt you forever.

To Be Continued.