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Taking a break from reality to indulge! (Revising Social Policy is so very dull)
Misguided Fantasies: Chapter Fourteen
"Are you sure?" Grissom asked the uncertainty clear in his voice.
"Yes." Sara replied her voice shaking slightly.
But Grissom didn't ask her again, knowing that he was so close to losing her. He placed the ring on her finger has he had done on their wedding day. Grissom planted a gentle kiss on Sara's lips attempting to recapture the moment after they had exchanged their vows. He remembered how Sara had worn the one dress she owned, knee length, midnight blue, she looked beautiful Grissom's heart skipped a beat just thinking about it.
"Take me home." Sara whispered in his ear after pulling away from his kiss.
xxx
Greg sat alone in flat the radio turned up to drown out the sound of his neighbours arguing a beer in his hand. Catherine had sent them all home to recover from the stress of the last twenty four hours but there was nothing about being alone that helped. All Greg could think about was how close they had been to losing Sara.
How he had already lost Sara.
Grissom was back, he'd probably win Sara over again with that quirky charm that had them all hoping for his attention. And she would forget whatever it was they had shared while her husband had been away.
What had he been thinking?
There was no happy ending for him and Sara. Well at least there wasn't a happy ending for him.
Sara was going to go back to Grissom. They'd be happily married, buy a nice house in the suburbs, maybe even have kids one day. Grissom would be an amazing father, a wonderful, loving husband and Sara will be happier than she has ever been.
And where would Greg be?
Alone; pretending to be happy about how things are, because he just can't love anyone as much as he loves Sara. He'd see her around the lab and smile as if it were just a friendly gesture. He wouldn't let her see how much it hurt seeing her everyday and knowing that he could never have her.
And they would keep what they had done a secret locked away in their memories. She'd think about it when things at home got tough. He'd thinking about it every time he had too much to drink.
Maybe they'd do it again. Swear that it means nothing; it's nothing more than fucking. Blame alcohol or stress.
Greg could feel a lump building up in his throat as he thought of what the future would hold for them. Finishing his beer he grabbed his jacket, he had to see Sara, he needed to ask just once what she wanted before he walked away.
He had to know what she really wanted.
xxx
Sara sat in the living room a cup of tea in her hand listening to the sound of her husband pottering about in the kitchen making dinner for them both. There was something comforting about the way he muttered to himself as he followed the recipe. As Sara sat there she realised just how much she had missed Gil while he had been away. It was the small things he did that made her love him. The way he got frustrated when he couldn't finish a cross word, the confused frown he wore when figuring things out and the way she'd catch him looking at her.
The sound of a car pulling up woke Sara up from her thoughts. There was something familiar about the low hum of the engine. She stood up walking slowly towards the window to see who it was. Her heart jumped into her throat as she saw Greg leaning on his car smoking a cigarette.
"Gil! I'm just going to step out for some fresh air." She shouted hoping that Grissom hadn't noticed that panic in her voice.
"Okay, don't be too long dinner is looking good if I do say so myself." he chuckled in a way that made the guilt Sara felt twice as worse. She didn't deserve Grissom. She didn't deserve Greg either. And here she was with them both, hurting them more than she ever thought she could hurt another human being.
"I won't." she responded slipping out of the front air into the night air.
She ran across the road to Greg who stood waiting for her.
"What are you doing here?" Sara hissed pulling him out of view of their town house into a dimly lit alley between garages where she and her neighbours parked their cars.
"It's nice to see you too." he said flatly.
"Greg?" Sara said in a questioning tone.
"I just wanted to see you." He shrugged taking a drag from his cigarette. Greg had spent the whole way there thinking about what he was going to say now face to face with Sara all the words that had been spinning around his head had disappeared.
Without thinking Greg planted his lips on Sara's tossing his cigarette aside and pulling her into his arms. Sara kissed him back taking in the taste of beer and cigarettes before realising what she was doing. She stopped and pushed Greg away from her.
"Greg...I can't...I'm married and I'm going to try and make my marriage work..." Sara said a tear rolling down her cheek looking at the dull gold ring on her finger. "I never meant to hurt you...but I can't do this..."
"Fine." was Greg's only response.
What more could he say?
Sara had made her choice and it wasn't him.
"I hope you're happy." And with that Greg disappeared.
xxx
Greg pulled up in the parking lot of a bar that he'd been to a few times before when he'd really hit rock bottom. He didn't recognise himself any more. Greg didn't know when he became the sort of person that drank to make himself feel better. Or rather feel nothing. Because he didn't want to think about her. He didn't want to feel what he did for her. He had never been an angry person but all he wanted to do was break something.
"A shot of bourbon please." he ordered a drink sitting in a dark corner of the bar taking each firey gulp as it came.
xxx
Sara stepped inside her house to find Grissom waiting for her with a smile and a glass of wine in his hand. Taking the glass she smiled with all the energy she could muster.
"This looks amazing." she commented sitting down at the dinner her husband had prepared for her.
"Thank you." Grissom sat himself down opposite her.
They ate and drank their wine while making small talk both avoiding what they really wanted to say. Grissom placed his glass down and clasped his hands together attempting to form a sentence with all the words that were running through his head.
"Sara...I've been offered a permanent position in Peru..." he blurted out.
"Oh." was Sara's only responded. She didn't know what to say to him.
"I know this is home...but I miss you." Grissom said not being able to directly ask Sara to leave Vegas for him.
"I know...I miss you as well." She replied looking at the bottom of her empty wine glass.
"Then come back with me." Grissom pleaded in a whisper.
"Gil..." Sara took a deep breath. "There is something I have to tell you...I...I..slept with someone else..."