Chapter Fourteen

I had to leave Jake sometime in the middle of the night. I forget when it was but it was before the sun broke the horizon. I silently got dressed in his room while he was still fast asleep and made sure the shirt I borrowed was folded neatly on his pillow. With that, I kissed his forehead and was off.

Now, hours later, I was back in hell, surrounded by tasty smelling humans. I think having tasted animals for the first time amplified their delicious smell, making me realize just how different the two tasted. Despite wanting a few to drink from, I tried to hold off my hunger by remembering that this would help me. The sooner I got my eyes a few notches away from being the crimson color they were, the more Evie wouldn't have to worry about holding her glamour over me. I knew that constant use was tiring, despite her protests.

School went on as normal. Since I had finished the work I was assigned when I got home, I was able to turn in my assignments along with Evie's and Noah's without questionable looks from the teachers, as well as ignore the Cullen boys as much as I could.

During lunch, David and Deidre joined us again. It felt right, especially when I noticed that Deidre had sat right next to Noah. I wondered if they were holding hands under the table by the proximity between them. Apparently Evie noticed too and kept eyeing Deidre curiously, probably making sure the human was worth her brother's time. I, however, already adored Deidre. She had a beautiful personality, an epic attitude that could put Noah in his place when needed, and a strong will.

I just wondered what would happen when the time to leave and return to Italy came.

David was becoming more talkative toward me and Evie but in no way did either of us have the connection that Deidre and Noah had. So, as for the best, he remained our human buddy, someone we could rely on and talk to. He started to question us a bit in the beginning, making me terribly nervous, but in the end, he just accepted that my family and I are a bunch of freaks.

To be honest, if I could turn the both of them and take them home with me, I would. I wasn't about to turn two human lives upside down though.

As for Rosalie…I guess I could say that relationship grew a bit. In our gym and health classes, she was pleasant and kind but never pushed me. Emmett didn't either; in fact, all he did was sent me puppy eyes, a silent apology. Either our game the day before had really helped or Rosalie went after him later on for his behavior.

The following days were the same. School was boring, except for lunch time. Emmett was quiet, Rosalie stayed nice, and all Jasper did was watch me with wary and curious eyes; there were other emotions present but none that I recognized. Our mission with the rogues was slow but getting somewhere. We had caught one and destroyed him when Heidi and I were investigating. We tried to get information out of him but he wouldn't budge; Felix came and helped us tear him apart. I surely wouldn't be forgetting his screams for a while but it came with the job.

Apart from him, everything else had been silent, except for trails and wolf patrol.

It was a little harder for Evie though by Thursday. I had finally gotten around to taking Noah and Evie to the reservation to see the others but a surprise came through, and not one that was really welcomed.

Evie had always been close to Sam, the pack leader. I didn't blame her; Sam was a great guy. After I had given birth and returned home, Sam made it his goal to make sure the kids were taken care of. Evie sort of played as a daughter for him and Emily when she was there. She looked up to him just as much as he cared about her, like an older brother, even more so than Jacob. There were times in the beginning where I seriously wondered if she was meant to be their child instead of mine, but that would be silly.

So when she asked Jacob if Sam was still on the reservation and if she could go see him, Jacob had the unfortunate job of letting my daughter, as well as Noah and me, that Sam had passed not that long ago. He had grown old with Emily because she was human and had passed not long after she had. It turned out most of the wolves I grew up with had, except for Jake, Seth, and Paul. Leah was gone too, having found her imprint after I left, leaving those three with the newer generation.

"Who is Alpha then?" Noah had asked.

"Sam's son," Jacob answered. "His name is Cole; he took over when Sam hit his fiftieth birthday. He's a great guy too… I'm sure he'll want to meet you, Evie. He's heard a lot about you… all of you, actually."

By Evie's horrified manner, I knew it was time to leave. "I think we'll wait a bit on that, Jake," I whispered as Noah tried to comfort his sister. "She needs time to grieve. I wish you would have said something before so I could have a bit of warning."

Jake sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "I didn't even think, Bells. I forgot just how close they were."

Though Evie mourned, it still didn't change our situation. That came Friday.

As school finished and we were heading out to our cars, I was approached by Rosalie. Emmett and Jasper went to their jeep but didn't get in; they watched our interaction closely, especially Jasper. She wanted to talk now, to figure out some answers. I knew it was coming; our first day, we had agreed to it. She was giving me time to settle back in before we talked. She knew it would be hard for me to do it so she gave me space. For that, I couldn't say no to her; I respected her for that.

"Do you want to take my car or run?" I asked. Rosalie preferred taking the car; whether for comfort or to see how it ran, I don't know. I didn't really care, either. I just wanted answers.

After explaining to Evie and Noah what was going on, we left and decided to drive around. We only talked about where to go during the drive, knowing it was better to stay away from other topics when distracted. Within minutes, we decided on a special spot she and Emmett had discovered in the woods. It was far enough that the guys wouldn't be able to hear us so I agreed. We left my car in some parking lot and ran the rest of the way.

The special spot was a tiny meadow, sort of like the one he took me to as a human. It was smaller though, with less high grass but more tree coverage and flowers lingering around. A few boulders were close by so we didn't have to sit in wet grass and the sun peered out enough to light our skin up a bit, sparkling just the bit. Rosalie looked me over and smiled sadly.

"After we left, I never knew I would see the day you sparkled like me, Isabella. Immortality suits you just like it fits the rest of us. Do you feel fitted with this life?" She questioned. I nodded slowly and leaned back on the rock.

"When I woke up, I felt like I was born to become the vampire. I found balance, almost; I could move with confidence. I wasn't afraid to be me anymore. It perfected my life," I explained. "I felt more alive than I ever had."

Rosalie nodded. "I thought you would when he was supposed to turn you. We all did. We knew you would be more comfortable in this skin, rather than that fragile human state. You deserved to be a hunter rather than someone's prey." Rosalie paused and tilted her head as she stared at the patch of flowers in front of us. "Alice saw you die, Bella. She saw that you drowned in a pool or something. It was like when we had left the first time and you had experimented with the wolves, the cliff diving play. She saw you go into the water but you never came back out."

Bella nodded; it was what the seer had seen when Aro tested out her abilities. "I felt like I was drowning when I was turned. That's what the pressure felt like when the venom had pulsed through my system. Evie and Noah somehow worked together to create that cover over me. I still don't understand how they did it or why it even stayed."

"Ah," Rosalie murmured with a smile. "Your children?"

My head snapped up to stare at her. I felt like a cartoon with how fast that movement occurred. By the way she eyed Evie on the first day, I knew she had theories but to hear her actually say it out loud was shocking. No one outside of the guard and the three princes knew about them; no one else made the connection.

"What?" She questioned amusedly. "Are you going to tell me they aren't your biological children?"

I shook my head rapidly. "No, no… they are. I mean, it's just shocking that you got it. No one else has ever made the connection before. But you… you got it immediately."

Rosalie shrugged and patted my shoulder. "That doesn't surprise me. I think I just knew because of that mother's instinct. You remember how much I wanted children, how much I yearned for them. When I saw Evangeline next to you, it was like seeing Vera and her baby boy all over again. Your daughter has the same smile, the same eyes as you did when you were human. With your son, it's a little harder. He has some of your features and some of Edward's but he's more of his own person. I guess you could say you would have to know what you were looking for to recognize it."

"Does Jasper and Emmett…?"

"No," She answered firmly. "They're men, Bella. They hardly notice detail like that, even as vampires."

I nodded once and then lowered my gaze. "You won't tell them, will you? Or the others?"

"You don't want them to know?" She questioned her tone curious and surprised. I shook my head and closed my eyes.

"As selfish as it may be, I don't want them involved with the others. They are not their family; I am. They deserve more but not from them," I said, pausing for a moment. "I don't want them to be hurt like I was. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even those I hated. I couldn't bear for the only family I have left to be as scorned as I was."

"You do not see us as your family anymore," Rosalie stated sadly. I looked back up at her with a firm gaze.

"I hold nothing against you. You believed me, not his lies. It was comforting to know that someone did, even if we didn't get along when I was human. Even so, I wouldn't blame you if you did believe him. I wouldn't hold a grudge for you leaving. The others though… they believed the lies. Emmett believed them; Alice and Jasper believed him, even Esme and Carlisle! I know they have known Edward longer than I have but they knew how much I loved him; they knew he left me before. They abandoned me, especially when I needed them the most."

Rosalie was quiet for a few moments as she took in my words. She thought and pondered before she spoke. "You are right," she said. "They were wrong. They believed his lies; they were gullible. They should have come to see you earlier, against Edward's advice, and got your side of the story. They knew how charismatic he could be, and that's probably why they believed him."

She paused again then spoke. "I don't think they could help it Bella. All of us honestly believed you were mates, that you were in so much love that nothing could separate you. We saw what you didn't see in his eyes: possession, love, adoration. I guess they believed he loved you too much to live without you so it had to be your choice. I knew it wasn't; that talk we had when I told you my story proved it. None of the others would go against him and his lies though."

"But why? Why would he just leave me? We were fine for a few nights. Sure, he was pissed with himself about the first night we slept together because he created bruises but he got over it. The more we tried it out, the less I got hurt. It just came out of nowhere; I woke up one morning, found he was gone, and that he left a bunch of cash and cards with a letter. It was like he had it planned."

Rosalie tilted her head. "Do you think he knew you were pregnant and got scared?"

I scoffed at the idea. "No," was my answer. "I don't think he knew. I didn't start showing until days after he left. Unless He suddenly could read internal body language or see the future."

"Maybe…maybe it was just him, Bella," Rosalie murmured. I thought about what she could have meant. What could have been wrong with him to cause him to leave me? What was there that caused this whole problem? I kept coming up short on answers.

"I think you lost me, Rosalie."

"Edward was turned at the age of seventeen… really, he's still a boy. A man with wisdom but his mind was, still is, and forever will be, seventeen. Maybe he freaked; most seventeen year olds never even think of the word marriage because it doesn't concern them. While the old soul in him wanted to do the whole courting process because that's how he was raised, he wasn't ready for commitment, especially if he realized he wasn't your true mate," she further explained. "I mean, it's still a stupid excuse but it's believable."

"I never understood it before. I never wanted to get married but I did because it was a way to prove to him that I loved him. He was insistent that marriage was necessary and he ditched me. He was way older than me, had way much more knowledge."

"But still, he'll always be seventeen forever. He'll have the mind of a boy, not a man. You're the type of girl who needs a man to be in her life. Someone strong, someone caring, someone unselfish. You are like me in that way; I could never stand to be romantically involved with a boy. That's why Emmett and I are mates. Though he acts like a child around others, he's far from it. He's a man with a heart, no matter how frozen it may be."

She was right there. I didn't want a teenaged lover. I needed a man.

"Bella, didn't your mother call you her old soul? You were way more mature in some ways than he was because you had a realistic idea life. Edward, on the other hand, was focused on the negatives. Eternity, damnation, hell… that completely haunted him; I think it still does at times, too," Rose continued. "That's something that haunts all of us because none of us had a choice. We feel cheated. Maybe he felt cheated out and couldn't give you his best."

I pondered the ideas. They were likely, so very likely; the bastard was always making everything sound so terrible. I found immortality to be great but then again, like Rose, I had a choice. I chose to go through with the pregnancy. I chose to become a vampire. I had a reason and an outlook for my life. They didn't.

Still. That didn't mean I despised the bastard for fucking with my future.

"Do you still love him, Bella?" Rosalie asked suddenly. "Is there any part of you that has positive thoughts toward him?"

Thinking slowly and separating my thoughts, I found some. "He gave me children. Left me with them but still, if it weren't for his… part in the relationship, they wouldn't exist. He also gave me an outlet; had he not left me, I wouldn't have gone to Italy."

"But do you still love him? Could you ever return to loving him like you were human again?"

Did I? I harbored a lot of feelings for the douchebag: resentment, anger, regret, pain, even hatred at some point. Was I little thankful? A bit. Did I still love him? Could I love him again? Could I find a place in my heart for him?

"No, Rosalie. I can't."

Well. This took a bit longer than I had planned. The holidays have just been nuts. I hope everyone is having a fun, safe holiday with your families!