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About a week later, I returned from Charms class to find Maia sitting on my bed in the dormitory. I stopped short as she jumped to her feet, dropping her eyes sheepishly.

"Sorry," she said. "I was waiting for you."

I had figured so much. She was probably going to apologize - I did not want to hear it. Someone had died. I still blamed myself, but no one could deny that if Maia had just kept her mouth shut, none of this would have happened.

I walked around her and dropped my bag on the bed. As I stepped away, Maia breathed a small sigh of relief. Maybe because she did not know that I always kept my wand on me these days. I was able to learn from my mistakes.

"Well," I said when she still remained silent. "Get to it."

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I hope you are."

Finally, her eyes met mine. The sheepish look had vanished and instead, she looked almost angry. "You left me! You left all of us and now you expect me to be stronger than them on my own. The truth is that you are the coward, not me."

I shrugged, not bothering with her argument. I might regret choices I made in the past, but none of them included Maia in any way. I had done my very best to help her, had offered her my help and support if she were to leave her family. She had proven spectacularly why it was unwise to trust Slytherins.

"Don't you care?" she asked. "Are you that cold?"

"I'm not cold," I said. "But a girl died and I almost lost a dear friend because of this. Don't get me wrong... it's my fault, too. Yet you might understand that I don't care about your caprices."

She looked away again, her bottom lip quivering. "They said... Callie said she could make sure I didn't have to marry Macnair... I thought... I thought I wouldn't have to go into hiding or leave my family. So I told them you had said something about the Order of the Phoenix."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Trouble was, I could actually understand her. She had had the choice between easy and right and like most Slytherins, she chose the easy way for her own personal gain. Before I left Reg, I probably would have chosen the same way.

"I see," I said.

"And I'm really sorry," she whispered. "I am. I swear it."

Again, I shrugged. Being sorry did not make it all right.

"I want out for good," she added.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Ah, sure. Forget it."

"No," she choked out. "Please - I know what I did was wrong, I never want to be forced to do it again and I-"

"Then next time, you just keep quiet," I snapped. "We're not taking in traitors."

Maybe I had been a little too harsh, I figured, when I next had the chance to watch Maia. I should have been focusing on my potion, really (Fifteen steers clockwise and one anti-clockwise - or the other way around?), but my eyes again and again wandered back to her. She looked lonely and strangely small at her desk. The classroom had emptied considerably after the incident. Apart from Callie, several others were gone. Basil, Crabbe and Macnair had disappeared with her. I supposed not finishing school did not matter to them. The Dark Lord did not need intellectuals; not that any of them would have qualified for that role. Maia had been able to stay. I had not told Dumbledore of her involvement, mostly because I had been ashamed of my own foolishness.

I looked into my cauldron and found that I had apparently steered correctly. At least until now, the draught had the right colour. I looked up and tried to decipher Slughorn's instructions on the board. I shortly pondered the question if students should really be taught how to brew poison, but started to chop the death-cap-mushrooms anyway.

My eyes wandered back to the other side of the room. Reg had been able to stay, too. Curiously, Dumbledore had never asked about his involvement, even though he had seen Reg when we met the headmaster on our way to the Hospital Wing.
My decision formed as quickly as my potion changed colour when I added the death caps. As it turned into a sizzling red, I resolved to talking to Reg right after this class.

I waited for him afterwards. We had not spoken much in the last week. In fact, apart from the occassional 'hello' when we passed each other in the corridors, we had not spoken at all. He seemed a little startled when he spotted me waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Yet his face lightened up quickly.

"How're you?" he asked.

"Fine," I said. "You?"

"Been better," he said. "It gets a little lonely, all by myself in the dormitory..."

I nodded, remaining quiet even as the image of him lying alone on the sheets popped into my head. We climbed the stairs, skipping one of the disappearing steps Sirius and James had installed years ago.

"Are you all right, then?" he asked.

"Sure," I said.

"I was worried," he admitted. "I heard about that dead girl-"

"She was a friend of Lily's," I told him. "She took it very hard."

For someone who hated Lily Evan's guts, Reg's pity was very convincing. "I'm sorry," he said.

Reg held open a hanging that concealed a winding staircase. We had used it often to reach the library, for one because it was faster, but for the most part because we could use it together and did not need to sneak up there alone. His hand brushed along my arm as he passed me to head upstairs. I had not planned to go to the library just now, but I still wanted to talk so I followed him upwards.

"Did Dumbledore ever talk to you?" I asked.

"Why should he?" he asked back.

I hesitated, afraid to speak the words that needed to be out. "I thought he might figure... since you saved me and all... that you knew about their plan..."

"You thought he might know I'm a Death Eater?" Reg asked harshly. He turned around and our eyes met, grey boring into brown. "Well, he didn't ask."

"Wouldn't have been fair, anyway," I said. "You saved my life."

Reg shrugged carelessly. "Without me, this would have never happened."

I had heard many people blame themselves for all that had happened in the past two weeks. I, for example had blamed myself consistently and in front of everyone who had been around to hear me. But it never once occurred to me that it was Reg's fault.

I shook my head. "What are you talking about? You didn't even know!"

"Well, yes," he admitted. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "It can all be traced back to me, though. Just think - if I had never left you... or maybe if I had just treated you better - or never tried to force you to marry me, then, well, you would have never been in the position to be kidnapped and no one would have-"

"Stop," I said, maybe a little too loud, for he flinched a little. "First, I left you and I cheated on you, so..."

"You would have never done that if-"

"If we're going to trace it to the very beginning," I continued. "Let's blame You-Know-Who. If he didn't think kidnapping, torturing and murdering was good fun, we wouldn't be here. So..."

He smiled a little at that and sat down on the stairs. I climbed up to meet him and sat down, too. Reg shook his head slightly.

"You're right, of course. Still it doesn't seem right to just step back from all the responsibility and blame it on the evil monster. Feels like being a coward," he concluded.

I shrugged. "Not everyone can be a hero."

"I'd like to be, though," he said. "But I'm not a hero, I'm a villain."

I reached out to touch him. I did not have to reach very far, for on the narrow step, we were huddled together closely. Still, he looked surprised, when he felt my touch on his leg. "You saved me," I said, very clearly. "So you are a hero."

He smiled properly then and it was amazing how it lightened up his face. He was so close I could feel the warmth of him. He placed his hand on top of mine and his fingers gently skimmed over the back of my hand. The touch made my skin tingle. I met his eyes and found that he was watching me intently. I let out a shuddering breath as his other hand reached up to stroke my cheek. He trailed his fingertips along my jawline and finally settled with gently cupping my chin.

I closed my eyes as he leaned in. First, his lips barely brushed mine. By instinct, I leaned into his touch. Our lips melted together and I sighed into the kiss. It felt so familiar and yet so new, the way his lips moved against mine, his scent filling my head, the way his muscles flexed under my touch as I held onto his arms.

He pulled back, leaning his forehead against mine. As our breaths mingled together between us, reality pushed itself into my consciousness. I leant back quickly, hitting my head against the wall in the process. His eyes widened at my sudden movement and he tried to hold me back, but I was already scrambling to my feet.

"Don't you dare," I hissed. "Ever doing that again."

Then, I ran as fast as I could back down the stairs.

I haven't asked this in a long while: Team Sirius or Team Reg ;)?