He looked in the living room, expecting to see Nick laying on the couch watching a movie, but he wasn't there. Nick also wasn't in the kitchen or the bathroom. Worry struck Greg for a couple minutes before he realized Nick's cell phone and keys were still on the counter, so he couldn't have gone too far. That was also when Greg realized the sliding glass door leading out to the back of the house was slightly open, and only made sense that Nick was out there. So Greg walked over to the door and slipped through the open space before sliding it shut behind him. He stood there silently for a second before slowly walking over to Nick, who was leaning up against the railing of the deck holding a pack of cigarettes in his hand.
"It's emtpy." Nick said when Greg stopped beside him, reading the other man's mind.
"Kinda like our bed." Greg responded with a small smile.
Nick turned so he was facing Greg. "Sorry...I kept having nightmares and didn't want to end up waking you up. That's why I left the door mostly open too. The cold didn't wake you up, did it?" He asked.
Greg shook his head. "No, I had a nightmare I think, but I can't remember. I just got worried when I woke up and couldn't find you for a couple minutes. I thought maybe you left."
Nick dropped his eyes from Greg's and turned back to face the yard. "I don't blame you for not trusting me. But I wouldn't do that to you. I would never intentionally hurt you or take advantage of you. I never meant to cause you so much pain."
"I know you didn't." Greg whispered. "Just seeing you in so much pain and knowing there was nothing I could do hurt. I want to help you...I'll do anything to help you Nick."
Nick shook his head slowly. "You don't have to do anything. You already did everything." He turned back and looked deep into Greg's dark brown eyes. "When you left that night, I realized that I don't care how much pain I'm in. I don't care what's happening to me as long as I have you. Nothing could ever hurt more than having you and losing you. I'd rather be back in that fucking box than ever be without you."
Greg felt tears stinging his eyes. He couldn't help but believe Nick. No matter how mad he made Greg or what he could ever do to hurt him, Greg would always have a weakness for Nick. The Texan definitely had a way with words as well. He was always able to say exactly how he feels without even having to think about it. Greg would believe anything Nick told him without question, especially when he was looking at him the way Nick was looking at Greg now.
"I just..." Greg started, not sure how to say what he wanted to say. Just another time he wished he could be more like Nick. "Whatever happened to us before, I can't do that again. I can't have you then only have some of you then nothing at all. I can't try to get over you because that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I can't do it. I won't. This has to be it."
Nick closed the gap in between him and Greg and tightly wrapped his arms around Greg, stretching them across the back of Greg's shoulders and pulling their bodies together. He felt Greg wrap his own arms around his waist and bury his head in the crook of Nick's neck. Nick kissed the side of Greg's head softly before leaning forward a little.
"This is it." He whispered. "This is everything. I don't want anything else, I don't need anything else but you. All I need is right here, and I'm not letting it go. I don't care what's gonna end up happening to me in the future. I want you. You're the only thing that matters to me."
Nick stepped back slightly and moved his arms so his hands were now cupping the sides of Greg's face. "You sure this is what you want?" Greg asked softly.
Nick smiled before gently pulling Greg to him and kissing him soundly. Greg tightened his grip on Nick's waist when the older man's hands slid through his hair slowly. Nick kissed him with everything he had. Nick definitely had a way with saying how he felt, but he did it even better when he kissed. When they finally had to break apart for air, Greg still held his grip on Nick, not letting up at all.
"I'm sorry I left you before. I didn't want to. I'm sorry about Bryan, he didn't mean anything to me. I was just trying to get over you because I didn't know what else to-"
Nick cut Greg off by lightly brushing their lips together. He gently rubbed his thumbs under Greg's eyes, brushing away the stray tears. "I know sweetie. This was all my fault. You didn't do anything wrong, I'm not mad at you at all. I just wanna make sure...do you really want to...are you positive that..." He was clearly having trouble finding the right words to say. There's always a first for everything.
"What are you trying to say?" Greg asked.
Nick took a deep breath. "I want you to know that you don't have to be with me. After everything I put you through, I really wouldn't blame you at all. You deserve so much better than me...so much that I can't give you. If there was something I could do to change how much pain I cause you, I'd do whatever it was. There's nothing I can do to do that, but I'm done everything. I swear to you I am. No more drugs, or smoking, or drinking, or anything. I just wanted to make sure you were sure about me."
Greg smiled. He stepped back slightly so that Nick's hands fell, and Greg caught them in his own. He intertwined their fingers and pulled himself closer to Nick again.
"Remember that night after you told me you loved me? Right after the explosion? I was just starting to get a lot better and everything and we had been together for a couple months. You asked me then if I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I knew then, and I still know now. You're not perfect, and neither am I. But together, we are."