Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

It was because he had just said Potter, and then her brain had still been focused on those words, and that was why she had said it.

Not because she secretly liked the way her name sounded with Potter in the end, not because she secretly wanted to share a last name with James.

No.

That wasn't why, alright!

At least, that's what Lily kept telling herself, as she lay in her bed back at Head's, anxiously staring at the ceiling, wishing now, more than ever, that she was in possession of a Time-Turner.

As she had run back, she had gotten herself together just enough to change the direction, in which she were running to the common room, and soon she rushed inside and up to her dorm, not wanting to risk talking to James when he returned as well.

It wasn't that big of a deal, right? For Merlin's sake, it was just a sodding name. It was stupid of her to freak out because of that.

And yet, she found herself going through the scene, over and over again, and each time, she found herself wanting to curl into a tiny ball and disappear forever out of utter embarrassment.

LilyPotterLilyPotterLilyPotterLilyPotter...

And even if, she had to admit, her cheeks went red anew every damn time that name echoed in her thoughts, she also felt a slight jolt of... joy?

Because it did sound good, didn't it?

Yeah.

It had a nice ring to it, Lily thought.

She bet that James thought so as we-

No. No, he did not think it sounded good, because he had a bloody girlfriend, and when you have a girlfriend, then you don't go around thinking, that someone else's name - besides from your girlfriends - would sound well with your last name.

And even if he did fancy Lily - which she had begun to doubt very much - then that was very little, probably, and oh, did she mention, he had a girlfriend.

Stupid Lucy Miller.

Lily stiffened as she heard the entrance open and close, knowing that James had returned, for who else would it be? She held her breath, as if, if she made even the slightest sound, he would turn his attention to her dorm, demand to know what the hell that scene in the kitchen was about - even if he couldn't possibly hear her breathe, and she knew that. But, in silence, she listened to footsteps shuffle around beneath, and then suddenly stop.

Lily's eyebrows pulled together. She hadn't heard him go up the stairs.

"Lily?" his voice called out suddenly, and her eyes widened as she pulled the duvet over her head, hoping he would believe she was asleep.

She had to remind herself, that he still couldn't hear, and most definitely not see her, before she allowed herself to peek out beneath the duvet, glancing at the door, her cheeks bright scarlet.

More muffled sounds came from downstairs.

"Lily, I know you're not asleep," his voice then called out again. "I can see the light inside your room."

Ah. Forgot to turn those off, had she?

Well, bugger.

Although, who was he to judge her, if she had, hypothetically, decided to sleep with the lights on? Yes, it was very possible that she might just have forgotten, or was afraid of the dark or something.

So she didn't answer him, even if she ached to do so, ached to explain to him, that it had all just been a stupid misunderstanding, that when she had said Lily Potter, it hadn't meant anything.

And if a tiny part of her hoped that he would say something along the lines, 'Of course it wasn't a misunderstanding, silly, I know you like me, and I like you too, I'll just dump that stupid cow, Lucy Miller, I don't even know why I ever dated her in the first place," then she quickly shoved that thought away, because, first of all, it was stupid and wouldn't happen, and second... Well, perhaps that last part wasn't exactly what James would say... Really, she was just being silly.

Even though, she protested silently in her mind, she was not silly. In reality, she was actually just avoiding talking to him, and that wasn't silly at all, actually, that was the cleverest thing she had done so far.

"Won't you come down?"

Ah, he wasn't one to take a hint, was he?

Stupid blokes, stupid, stubborn blokes, who won't get that one does not wish to speak with them.

"You know I'll just catch you tomorrow, then!" his taunting voice called.

Ah, but he wouldn't.

Because tomorrow was the day everyone left for Christmas, yes? And she would have to say goodbye to her mates, and, of course, there was a chance he might catch her there, but loads of kids would be doing the same as her, and he couldn't possibly find her among almost the whole of Hogwarts.

And, well, after she had said goodbye, no one could stop her from staying in her room all day.

Actually, now when she thought of it, she could easily survive in her room, and therefore, easily avoid James as well. And if she chose to stay in here forever, chances were she would probably die here as well, and what then? Well, then she could become a ghost, haunting the Head Girl's dorm, and girls would have to use another place to sleep. Basically, she would be like Moaning Myrtle. The kids would call her Lunatic Lily, based upon the stories that people who knew her told, - here, she was thinking that it would be mostly James and/or Black who would fuel these stories. Perhaps they would rather call her The Avoiding Girl?

Hm.

No, that definitely didn't sound good.

The kids would just have to make something up, but frankly, she didn't think that it would be her problem to figure that part out.

Merlin, this boy had really gotten to her, hadn't he?

She was imagining herself as a ghost - dead! No. No, she would not be like Moaning Myrtle, God forbid it.

Lily would simply just have to find another way to avoid James, because she couldn't and wouldn't survive in her dorm.

She heard the sound of footsteps once again downstairs, and finally the longed sound of them, heading up the stairs, and into Boy's dorm.

She fell asleep soon after.