AUTHOR'S NOTE: Only J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter magic.
*TW: Domestic violence. Proceed with caution.*
14. Legilimens
Hermione pulled her travelling cloak tighter around her body in a somewhat futile attempt at keeping out the cool, swirling mist. It wasn't that she was dressed inappropriately for such a place- she was probably overprepared, if anything, considering all the research she did before their departure- but the deeper into the mountains they went, the colder it became and the less the thick clothing she wore mattered. Much to their surprise, they had not been able to Apparate very far into the actual mountains. There were not wards preventing it but something else… a different kind of magic that surrounded this place in order to keep people away.
Severus had mused that this was probably a very, very bad idea.
But they needed the Unmelting Snow, so on they walked.
"The book was frustratingly sparse on details regarding the actual cave," Hermione huffed over the crunch of frost under their feet. "How are we supposed to know when we find it? These mountains go on for over 930 miles. We could be searching for the rest of our lives and never come across it."'
"No…" He said softly, pausing to let his gaze flicker around the wispy trees surrounding them. "I can feel the magic thrumming here- we are most certainly going in the right direction."
She trusted his instincts far more than her own, so she continued after him without comment.
A few minutes later he paused again, crouching down to touch his fingertips to the ground, brow furrowed in concentration and confusion.
"Severus?" Hermione called, looking up to see a whirlwind of large, fluffy snowflakes floating overhead. "Severus, I think something is wrong. The snow…" She reached her hand skywards in an attempt to touch the downy flakes that were suspended just above their heads, but instead of snow, her fingers met something cool, hard, and glass-smooth that felt almost like…
She gasped and yanked her hand back.
They found it.
"Severus, I think we made it to the…" Hermione turned only to see him still frozen in place, crouching down with his fingers on the ground. She stepped towards him slowly until she could crane her neck to see him, nearly recoiling with horror at the expression on his face.
His moist, glistening eyes were wide with terror, mouth hanging open in a little 'o' and his entire body was trembling.
Panic seized her- what was wrong with him? What was he seeing? She touched his shoulder, and much like what she'd read of falling into someone's mind with Legilimency, Hermione found herself falling down… down… down…
Until she wasn't anymore.
She opened her eyes to see that she was in a filthy, rundown kitchen with an empty icebox and a splintered table. The wallpaper, once a vibrant pattern of citrus fruits, was faded and peeling and the ancient linoleum floor was cracked and covered in grime. The doorway to the next room was missing its door, only rusted, limp hinges where it must have once been. The window to the outside revealed another dilapidated house only inches away and in the far, far distance she could see one tall smokestack of a factory.
Where was this place?
Loud, violent arguing came from the room with no door and Hermione backed away only to bump into something solid. She turned to see Severus standing with the same expression on his face that she had seen before ending up here.
"Severus?" She whispered, grabbing his hand with both of hers. "Where are we? What is this place?"
If he heard her, he didn't show it. He continued to stare with wide eyes at the open doorway.
The voices grew closer.
His entire body tensed.
Hermione turned just in time to see a woman be thrown through the doorway and go sprawling across the dirty floor. She was incredibly thin, probably malnourished by the looks of it, with bruises of all shapes and sizes and colors decorating her bare arms. Her long black hair was stringy and greasy, her nose entirely too large and aquiline to fit her sharp face.
A female Severus.
His mother.
Hermione gasped, hands covering her mouth to stifle her own horror and nausea. Just then, a large, burly man came barreling into the kitchen and started screaming at the woman- Eileen, Severus had called her- as he kicked her anywhere his booted foot could gain purchase. He reeked of alcohol and his distended potbelly bounced with each kick, his cheeks flushed and dark eyes narrowed in drunken fury.
"I told you," he shouted, picking Eileen up and slamming her against the wall with a sickening CRACK! "There ain't gon' be no fuckin' magic in this house! D'you understand?"
His mother said nothing, only nodded.
His father, Tobias, threw her against the splintered table and it shattered into a million pieces across the floor, "Answer me, you fuckin' bitch!"
She still said nothing- it was as if she couldn't.
A small boy with long black hair, sallow skin, and mismatched clothes appeared in the doorway, "Ma?" He asked, his tiny voice wavering as his dark eyes took in the scene before him.
"Oh my Gods," Hermione backed into Severus further, shielding him with her own body as if it could protect him from whatever would happen next. "Severus, please tell me this is not real. Please tell me this did not happen."
Tobias grabbed the boy by his soiled shirt and shoved him back into the other room as hard as he could and Eileen finally seemed to jolt awake. She lurched forward and grabbed one of his thick arms, "Please, leave Severus out of this. He can't control his magic yet but I can teach him how. I can—"
He cracked her across the jaw with his fist, blood spattering his arm from her mouth. Eileen crumpled to the floor, cradling her face with her hands.
"Either you teach the lil' freak to control it or I'll beat it outta him. You hear me?"
She nodded furiously, "I'll teach him. I'll teach him, I swear."
Like a veil being pulled off of them, Tobias looked up to seem them. More accurately, he looked over Hermione to see Severus standing behind her. He stalked forward, fists balled tight and crooked teeth clenched so tight the muscle in his jaw was ticking- much like Severus' did when he was angry. Hermione gripped his cloak behind her back.
"I told yer Ma I'd beat the magic out of you, didn't I? Shoulda done it years ago."
Severus' breathing quickened and was shaking so hard his teeth almost chattered. Hermione tightened her grip on him, backing up until she was as close to him as possible.
Tobias continued to come closer, his booted steps heavy on the sagging floor, "No son of mine is gonna be a fuckin' freak!"
He was breathing too hard now and Hermione knew all-too-well what was happening; he was having a panic attack.
His father raised his fist and lunged at them with an unholy bellow but Hermione turned and wrapped herself around Severus as a shield, pushing the back of his head down to hide in the curve of her shoulder, "Just breathe," she cried, squeezing her own eyes shut in preparation for the pain. "He cannot hurt you anymore. Even if he hurt you before, he cannot hurt you now."
Tobias began raining blows upon her back, hitting and kicking as hard as he could to get to Severus. Hermione whimpered, gasped, cried out in pain, but never loosened her grip on her keeper. Not once.
No one had been able to protect him from this before, but she would be damned if she ever let it happen again.
"Breathe, Severus- ah!- breathe, breathe. You are not alone anymore," tears dripped from her eyes onto his hair. "Your father is gone. He can never do this to you again."
Under the onslaught of Tobias' violence, Hermione's knees gave and ending up dragging Severus to the floor with her, curling over him like a protective shell. His father's voice echoed around the kitchen in various tones and pitches as he bruised her to get to his son.
"Freak! Stupid! Ugly! Worthless! Freak! Stupid! Ugly! Worthless! Freak! Stupid! Ugly! Worthless!"
"You are not a freak, you were blessed with magic," Hermione told him between tears. "You are the most intelligent wizard alive. Your mind, your power, your skills- they are all coveted by both Albus and Tom; neither can win the war without you. You are magnificent and beautiful and anyone who says otherwise is blind." She raised his head to force him to look at her. Her stomach roiled at his resigned, hopeless expression. "Your father was sick, Severus. You cannot listen to him because he was sick. Your mother loved you but she was so afraid of fighting back. She knew you needed her, in any capacity, to protect you. She did the best she could, Severus. She did. And you made it. You made it and you are here now. This is all in the past, Severus." Hermione pressed her forehead to his. "If I could take this from you, I would. You were so young, you did not deserve any of this. You deserved love and care, not abuse."
For the first time, it was as if her words broke through to him. Severus' eyes slipped shut, a few tears sliding down his sharp cheeks.
The blows from his father lessened and grew less painful.
She grabbed his face, brushing the tears away with her thumbs, "You are so strong, Severus. You made it this far without me and you do not truly need me because you are strong."
His eyes snapped open to meet hers.
"You may not need me," she continued softly, "but you have me. Do you understand the difference? You made it through the worst of your life all on your own, but now you have me to lean on if you need a break." She took one of his large, slender hands and pressed it to her chest, right above her heart. "I am here, right in front of you. Your parents are not here. You and me, that's it. We are all that is real here. This pain is only as strong as you allow it to be. But I promise, I will take all of it that I can for you."
The shouting stopped. The fists and boots stopped.
Severus let out a shaky breath and wrapped his arms around her, "Hermione."
She sagged against him, muscles and bones bruised and screaming in protest as she embraced him back, "Yes. I'm here."
x-x-x
Grasping his hand, Hermione followed Severus out the back door of the crumbling kitchen, but was surprised to see the lush, rolling greenery of the Hogwarts grounds rather than the industrial backdrop of Cokeworth that she was anticipating. They were near the Black Lake and the sun was shining across the grass, broken only by a few willowy trees that lined the bank.
"Severus… what is this one?"
His expression was dark and he did not answer her.
"Your father, he was the fear," she tugged his hand a little to get his attention. "Which one is this? The hope or the dream?"
He nearly hissed through his tightly clenched teeth, "The dream."
A cacophony of young voices came floating from under one of the far willow trees. Hermione started towards them but stopped when she noticed he was not following. "Aren't you coming?"
"There are some things that do not need to be re-lived," he growled, fists clenching until his knuckled turned white. "I know full well what happens here. Being humiliated once was enough."
"We have to face it," she reminded him gently. "Otherwise we came for nothing."
Severus looked extremely conflicted for a long time, obsidian eyes flickering between emotions so fast she couldn't entirely discern what they all were. After what seemed like an eternity, he let out a sigh of resignation and made for the tree without waiting for her. Hermione had to jog a little to keep up with his long strides but soon, they were there.
They were standing within a ring of Hogwarts students of all houses, cheering and laughing at something before them. Hermione pushed herself to the front of the crowed- leaving Severus in the very back behind them all- only to see a boy that looked exactly like Harry and a handsome boy with curly black hair looming over a skinny boy with greasy black hair who was sitting alone with a book under the tree.
Another Severus.
"Snivellus!" The boy that looked like Harry shouted, smirking. "How did you do on your exam today?"
"Almost certainly better than you, Potter."
Hermione's eyes widened; it was Harry's father, James.
"Didn't you see him?" The handsome, curly-haired boy commented. "Had his beak pressed almost entirely to the parchment the entire time. Poor professor probably won't even be able to read it through all the grease!"
"So very clever as always," the young Severus drawled, rolling his eyes. "Let us hope that cleverness comes through in your notoriously poor grades, Black."
The handsome boy's grin faded and he knocked the book from Severus' hands, "Watch it, Snivellus. Or I may just stop being so nice."
Severus took a very long look at his book now lying in a small patch of mud before, like lightening, he whipped out his wand and aimed it at the boy he called 'Black'. James was prepared though and also aimed his wand at Severus, "Expelliarmus!"
His wand went flying across the grass and he snarled at James before lunging for it.
Harry's father chuckled, "Oh no, you don't. Impedimenta!"
Severus went sprawling to the ground, shouting random spells that didn't land.
His eyes narrowed behind his spectacles as he aimed his wand at Severus' mouth, "Scourgify!"
Pink, soapy bubbles filled his mouth and he began to gag and choke. Hermione was about to start hexing when another familiar, lyrical voice came from the other side of the crowd, "Leave him alone!"
James and Black turned to the auburn-haired girl who spoke and it was clear that Harry's father had quickly lost interest in tormenting Severus now that Lily had arrived. He was flirting with her rather shamelessly just long enough for Severus to crawl away and grab his wand, spitting pink soap onto the grass before shouting, "Sectumsempra!"
Three perfectly symmetrical lines sliced across James' face and immediately started bleeding. James raised his wand at Severus once more and without uttering a word, Severus was pulled high into the air by his ankle, robes falling towards the ground to reveal his dingy, graying pants.
"I said to leave him alone! What did he ever do to you?" Lily demanded, hands on her hips and stamping her foot. "You let him down right this instant, James Potter!"
James gave her an easy, charming smile and then Severus went tumbling to the ground, face burning scarlet with mortification.
"Just like Snivellus to need a girl to fight his battles for him," Black scoffed and James burst into laughter as well.
Severus' face was nearly purple with rage as he stood and shouted, "I don't need help from filthy little—"
Hermione darted forward and tackled the young boy to the ground, clamping her hand over his mouth, hissing, "Finish that sentence and you will regret it for the rest of your life, I promise."
"Well, well, well," Black said smoothly. "What do we have here? Another tasty little morsel coming to Snivellus' rescue?"
Hermione could see that the young Severus wanted to lash out at her but she simply clamped her hand over his mouth even harder, "Please do not make me hex you. I am only trying to help, but I will stun you if I have to."
His dark eyes narrowed at her dangerously.
"Please."
He still glared at her.
Hermione let him go, praying that he wouldn't say anything that would make her look like a fool for defending him, before turning to the other boys, "Two against one hardly seems fair."
Black shrugged, "Snivellus has no qualms about playing dirty, why should we?"
She stood, stepping towards him inch by inch- eyeing the handsome boy up and down slow enough that he would take notice and, exactly as she hoped, he gave her a lazy grin when he realized what she was doing.
Hermione stopped when she was close enough to kiss him, her voice nothing more than a breathy whisper against his face, "What would you know…" She asked softly. "…about playing dirty?"
Black cracked another lusty grin, "I know all about playing dirty, love. Want me to show you?"
"Please, allow me," she pressed her lips to his ear, wand aimed directly at his groin as she whispered sensuously. "Minimus Totalus."
The spell flared orange against him and he fell to the ground, hands clasped directly over his crotch, "Gahhhhhhh! What in the hells did you do?! What- ahhhhhh, it's still shrinking! Make it stop! Please, make it stop!"
Hermione then whipped her wand to face James and hit him with a Stinging Hex and a Disfigurement Jinx in rapid succession, the word 'bully' spreading across his forehead in bright, cystic pimples.
He touched his face in horror, "What did you do? What did you do?" He looked back at the other students, who were all laughing and pointing at him now. "Make it go away! Get rid of it!"
"Serves you two right," Lily sniffed, pushing past the disfigured boys without a second look. When she reached Severus, she held out her hand and he eyed it warily, anger still clearly simmering just beneath the surface. She rolled her eyes and yanked him up anyway. "Oh, don't be such a baby. They got what was coming to them, didn't they?"
He glanced towards Black rolling around in tears on the ground and James touching his blemished face in horror and cracked a tiny, shy smile at Hermione, "I suppose they did."
"Lily! Lily, wait!" James stumbled forward. "Aren't we still having lunch together?"
She scoffed in disbelief, winding her arm through Severus', "Not a chance in all the hells, James Potter. You are abhorrent. Ready to go, Sev?"
The young boy caught Hermione's eye for a brief moment before turning back to Lily and nodding. The sounds of the other students faded away as Hermione watched them walk back to the castle together.
She felt a large hand on her shoulder and titled her head to see Severus watching them walk together as well. His voice was soft, "He did not even thank you."
Hermione shrugged a little, eyes flickering back to the bobbing heads of auburn and onyx moving across the grounds side-by-side, "I am not entirely sure he needed to since it was only a dream. I cannot change what really happened." She paused, looking back up at him again. "Besides, I think you needed her this time- not me."
His long arms wound around her waist, his lips grazing her forehead, "I only dreamed of someone caring enough to help, it did not have to be her."
"Severus…"
He turned her in his arms to face him, tilting her chin up with his fingers as he shook his head a little, "Arrogant, impertinent boy." Severus breathed the words against her mouth. "Thank you."
x-x-x
When the feel of his lips against hers fell away, Hermione opened her eyes to see that she was back on the mountain, between the wispy trees, with the oddly floating snow suspended just above her head.
Only this time, she was alone.
"Severus?" She called into the trees. A slight breeze rustled through the pines and swirled the mist around her legs. "Severus, where are you?"
"He cannot hear you. Not right now."
Hermione nearly fell over with the speed that she spun around, eyes widening as she realized who- or rather, what- had spoken to her.
The creature had the physical form of a female: long and lean with flared hips and full, rounded breasts but the creature was entirely smooth and icy blue, periwinkle actually, from the top of its head to the tips of its toes. The Ice Nymph's skin glittered like diamonds in the faint light that filtered through the trees and her hair was a soft but wild mass of snowflakes that billowed around her head as if suspended in water. She came closer and Hermione shivered at the wintery coolness that radiated from her body. Her piercing sapphire eyes were nearly three times the size of a human's and her nose was tiny and pointed, sticking straight out from her face above full, lustrous lips.
She was haunting and otherworldly but undeniably beautiful.
The Ice Nymph cocked her head, observing Hermione for a moment, "I did not expect someone so ordinary. I am quite surprised."
Hermione couldn't help but wince at the word 'ordinary', one of her dreams of Severus coming back to the forefront of her mind.
Average. Plain. Boring.
Nothing special.
Why would you notice me? Why would you want me?
"So intelligent, yet so self-deprecating. An interesting mixture."
"You…" Hermione twisted her fingers anxiously. "You can read my mind?"
The creature smiled, revealing two sets of odd, rounded teeth, "Of course I can. I can read all minds if I choose. Does that frighten you?"
"I am fairly certain you already know the answer to that."
She chuckled- a tinkling, lyrical sound, "Yes. I do. But I am not interested in reading your mind, Hermione Jean Granger. I am interested more in your heart."
"Can you just… can you tell me if Severus is alright, first?"
The creature looked genuinely confused, "Of course he is. I have no interest in harming him. He has already proven himself beyond any expectation I had upon you two entering my mountain."
"So…" Hermione couldn't help the smile that broke across her lips, "he passed the test?"
"That remains to be seen, I think. There is still one more, after all."
"Right, of course," she nodded. "Hope."
"Yes, hope. So tell me, Hermione Jean Granger, what is it you hope for?"
"Me?" Hermione frowned in confusion. "But why on earth would you care what I hope for? I thought Severus—"
"I care about all things, Hermione Jean Granger. Most of all when something so precious as my Unmelting Snow is the prize. So tell me, if you please- what do you hope for?"
She thought for a moment, categorizing her thoughts in order to give the Ice Nymph a true, honest answer, "Well," she began. "I suppose there are a few things."
The creature gestured for her to continue.
"I hope to graduate at the top of my class so I can choose any career path I want. I do not want to be limited in my choices, but have the freedom to go anywhere and do anything."
The Ice Nymph nodded.
"I hope for the war to end and for everyone to know that I am nothing like my father, so they will no longer be afraid of me. I hope to be able to make friends, real friends, without his shadow looming over my life. I hope to find acceptance when it all ends."
Another nod.
"I…" Hermione chewed her lip as she chose her words carefully. "I hope for Severus to have the life he always deserved. I hope for his happiness."
The Ice Nymph's gaze was unwavering, "And if his happiness were to mean a life without you? What then?"
"That would hurt immensely," she admitted in a quiet voice, warm cinnamon eyes meeting cold sapphire, "but I would never stop him. I do not want to be a shackle. I want to be a choice."
The creature began to circle her slowly like a predator, "You are very young. Half his age."
"I am," she agreed.
"He has sworn his life to protect yours; he knelt at your father's feet and vowed it."
"He did."
"He has many, many psychological scars. Ones that may never truly heal. He is heavily damaged."
"He is."
"He has made promises to powerful men, men who would turn on him if it meant reaching their goals. He may very well lose his life in the end."
"Yes… he may."
She paused behind Hermione, icy fingers brushing her curls back from her shoulder and grazing her chilled skin, "He might break your heart many times. He might not even realize he's doing it. He might hurt you, so much that you wish he were someone- anyone- else."
"Maybe… but I might hurt him, too."
"Do you intend to?"
Hermione's answer was quick and concise, "No."
"You consider yourself in love with him," the creature continued, toying with Hermione's curls idly. "Yet you can't let go of your own fears of inadequacy. Why is that?"
"I…" She hesitated but found comfort in the icy fingers that dragged through her hair. "I cannot possibly imagine what he would see in me. Setting aside the fact that I am completely average looking, having a relationship with me would be so dangerous and cause so many problems for him, it could not possibly be worth it. Without the war, I would still be his student. With the war, I am not only his student, but his charge, and his burden. My father would kill him without a second thought if he knew. He would lose his job if the Headmaster found out. And I…" Hermione was almost whispering now. "I look nothing like her."
"Do not insult me. Her looks do not matter to him anymore," the Ice Nymph snapped. "You other fears, however, have merit. I can't see the future, but I do know this." She ran her icy fingers down the very real bruises and abrasions on Hermione's back from Tobias. "Something is coming. And whatever it is, it will tear you from him violently. It will hurt you both and it will test you in the harshest ways. You have already taken this pain from him; are you prepared to take some more?"
She squared her shoulders, only wincing slightly when the cold fingers pressed into her bruised spine, "I will do what needs to be done."
"Then you have passed my three tests, Hermione Jean Granger," the Ice Nymph glided back around to face her, hand outstretched with a glass jar full of what looked like powdered diamonds in her palm, "I give you this gift and wish you both luck. You are going to need it."
Hermione took the small glass jar, clutching it to her chest as she looked back at the creature, "You were… testing me."
"It's your potion, not his. I had to make sure you were sincere, that it was truly love."
"And?"
She smiled warmly for the first time, "You are a fierce one, Hermione Jean Granger. I do not envy the ones who will seek to hurt him."
And the snow that had been suspended above her head came swirling down around her as the creature disappeared into the mist.
x-x-x
When the whirlwind of snowflakes finally settled at her feet, Hermione quickly found herself crushed to a familiar, black wool-clad chest.
"Are you alright? Thank the Gods, I thought you'd gotten lost. Why did you not answer me when I called your name? Do you have any idea how worried I have been?!" Severus snarled even as he held her close to him. "Answer me, you insufferable girl- I almost had a heart attack because of you!"
"Severus," Hermione groaned, "ease up on my back a little, please. I am still rather sore."
He froze, loosening his grip but otherwise not moving, "You mean… that was all real? You really… you really let him…"
"It doesn't matter. It's done now."
"What the hell do you mean, 'it doesn't matter'?!" He snapped, expression a mix of shock and horror. "Of course it matters! He could have killed you! I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that and how could you possibly think for one bloody second that I would want you to—"
She pulled back so she could see his face, "Severus… I did it. We did it."
He was still too angry, too upset to hear her, "I should have you thrown in St. Mungo's for doing something so completely reckless and utterly fucking stup—"
Hermione shoved the chilled glass jar roughly into his chest, "Severus, look!"
When his eyes, still blazing with anger, flitted down to the item she had thrust at him, she saw him visibly deflate until he was nearly sagging with relief. Severus' gaze flickered between her and the jar for a moment before he burst into disbelieving laughter, hands scrubbing over his mouth, "You have the snow. Hermione," Severus let out another breathy chuckle, "you have the snow."
His long, slender arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her in close, overlarge nose nudging her cheek affectionately until she lifted her face to him. She was certain that he was going to kiss her, but for the longest time his obsidian eyes simply met hers. There were so many emotions flickering behind his eyes that it nearly made her dizzy. Severus bent his head, eyes slipping closed as he brushed his lips against hers. Hermione felt her magic sizzling just below her skin in response to him, desperate to break free and wrap him in its tendrils until they melded into one being.
"You beautiful, brilliant, insufferable girl," he breathed, fingers flexing against her waist softly, driving her absolutely mad. Severus dipped his tongue briefly into her mouth and she nearly collapsed. "I cannot even begin to describe…" He pressed his lips to her cheek, her jaw, below her lobe. "… how inexorably fucking proud I am…" The words danced across the shell of her ear. "… to have someone like you…" His tongue flitted across the sensitive skin. "… at my side…"
Hermione shivered, hand not around the glass jar gripping his robes to keep from trembling, little blue sparks dripping from her curls onto the frosty ground, "Keep being 'proud' like that and you are going to end up starkers on the ground, Severus. Considering we are in the middle of nowhere and have a rather important potion to make, perhaps now is not the most opportune time…" She could feel his hard length pressing against her abdomen and, though she had never experienced anything like that before, though she had never even kissed anyone before the way he kissed her, Hermione felt herself nearly burst into flames. She wanted him, more than she could ever currently remember wanting anything, and that feeling alone was enough to send her reeling. Her magic was dancing inside of her frantically, heat pooling low in her belly at the thought of him above her as he had been in her dream.
They had all the ingredients now, he was certain the potion would work when they brewed it. Her head was spinning- it could work. All of it could work. Her magic was agreeing desperately, pushing her closer to him, insisting her fingers fist in his hair. It wasn't hopeless, she wasn't trapped with Tom. There was hope for her to escape, there was hope for him to be free of his masters. The sparks flooded her body with heat, forcing out her breaths in sharp pants. How was it possible to be so drawn to someone? How was it possible for two people to have such compatible magic? Hermione couldn't breathe. She dropped the glass jar and clung to him desperately, fingers knotted in his hair, mouth dragging across every expanse of skin she could reach. Her words were strangled and throaty, "Then again, I would be more than happy to make an exception for you."
Severus was panting just as heavily, his heavily-lidded eyes following her with every move she made, "Forgive me," he gasped as she kissed him again, rubbing herself against him like a cat. "I forget how your magic affects you when I… Gods above, Hermione, are you trying to kill me?"
Hermione was tearing at the buttons on his frock coat, eyes laden with lust, "Need you, Severus," she practically growled. "Need all of you."
His hand came up to stop her.
She looked up, confused- his pale cheeks were flushed and his pupils were blown so wide they blended in completely with the dark irises. Didn't he… didn't he want her? His chest was still heaving and she could feel his heart racing beneath her hand, but…
"Forgive me," he repeated softly, brushing back a lock of twisted curls from her face. "I allowed myself to get too carried away."
"No!" Hermione protested. "No, I want—"
"I know what you want," he chuckled. "You have made that quite clear. But Hermione—"
The fire in her belly was beginning to dim as her magic receded but she felt a tight knot forming deep in her gut instead, "Do you not… want me, too?"
Severus was still smirking even as he rolled his eyes, "Merlin save me from teenage hormones. Of course I do, Hermione. Could you really not…" He flushed scarlet and sighed, bending down to pick up the jar of Unmelting Snow. "You were right- this is not the most opportune time for a multitude of reasons. Right now, we have more important things to consider."
"But—"
He gave her a soft, chaste kiss to stop her, fingers curling around her jaw, "We will, Hermione. I promise. And eventually, you will not be able to keep me from having you. But right now, we need to get back to the castle and after that, we need to start working on the potion. We only have a limited amount of time for creating it, whereas I…" He gave her one of his shy, crooked smiles. "I am not going anywhere for the foreseeable future. We will do this, just not right now. I apologize for overstepping."
"So not right now…" Hermione took the jar from his hand and wound her arm around his, eyes flickering up to his, "After we create a working potion, then?"
Severus nodded, "After we create a working potion."
"Well then," she shook out her mane of curls with mock-haughtiness, "what are you doing dawdling about? Apparate us back to Hogwarts so we can get started already!"
"Such an insatiable little thing," he chuckled, affectionately ruffling her hair. "You never cease to surprise me."
"Less talking, more Apparating!" Hermione snapped her fingers a few times but burst into laughter when he did nothing more than raise his heavy brow at her cheek.
Severus shook his head, eyes pleading towards the heavens, "Merlin, help me."
She was still laughing when they Apparated back to the castle gates.
*Please don't hate me for taking so long. Writer's block SUCKS. Let me know what you think!*