I am so sorry for abandoning this fic for so long! I lost two of my best friends at the start of last year and could not sit down and write this fic without it ending in a major character death, which is not how i imagine you all want it to end. If anyone is still interested, i am going to finish this fic in the next couple of weeks, not sure if anyone still wants to know how it goes, but im going to write it anyway.
For D.
Previously:
She knew she was going to have to talk to Rick some more, when they were both more emotionally stable. And she was certain that Alexis would have more to say when she woke up. But for the time being, Kate let herself drift off, with no ex-boyfriends to come barging in to disturb her and her family while they slept.
They would deal with tomorrow when it came, for now they were all together and that was enough for Kate.
She could feel his eyes on her, watching her. She really should be used to it by now; after three years of being on the receiving end of his stare it should feel normal, but it didn't.
While his stare had been annoying two years ago, had made her feel nervous and under constant scrutiny, now it made her feel loved, safe, like someone was watching out for her.
She resented that in a way; Kate Beckett did not need someone watching over her to make her feel safe. She carried a Glock, that used to be enough for her.
She kept her eyes closed, not quite ready to face him, to face the concern and guilt she knew she would find in his deep blue eyes.
She was being a coward.
She was hormonal and injured - that was her excuse.
Kate used her other senses to tell her what her eyes couldn't for the time being.
She was at hospital, Rick was on one side of her, still sitting in the same plastic chair he had fallen asleep in next to her bed, and Alexis was still lying on Kate's other side, her red hair tickling Kate's chin as the teen rested her head over Kate's heart, still fast asleep.
She heard Rick shift in the plastic chair and took pity on him.
She squeezed his hand to get his attention as she opened her eyes.
"Hey"
Her voice sounded slightly better than it had the night before, albeit a little scratchy from all the tears she had recently shed.
"Hey yourself, how are you feeling?"
His voice sounded no worse for wear, Kate closed her eyes and just let his voice wash over her, soothe her as it always did.
"Better, head hurts like hell but I suppose that was inevitable"
She gave him a shy smile, her eyes looking straight into his trying to show him everything she couldn't say just yet.
"I'm still here, I'm trying to be better"
Rick hated that she shut down, shut him out when she dealt with things. Its how she'd always been, how she assumed she would always have to be.
So now she was trying her level best to be more open with him, to stop putting up those damn walls that kept her safe, kept her strong, because it wasn't just her anymore, she wasn't alone, and those walls of hers beginning to shut her in instead of shutting him out.
The fortress she had built to protect herself had become the prison that held her captive.
"Kate.."
He trailed off, not quite sure how to begin.
There was that look in his eyes, the one she had expected, part guilt and self loathing, part concern, and something that looked a lot like desperate fear.
She let go of the hand she was still holding and reached up to stroke the side of his face, smiling slightly as she felt him relax into her, lean into her touch and sigh.
"We're okay Rick, we're fine, we're all gonna be just fine."
He huffed a laugh, here she was injured and in a hospital bed no less, and yet she still felt the need to be comforting him.
She looked like she wanted to say something more, but Dr. Andrews chose that moment to walk through the doorway.
"How are we all doing today?"
The good doctor looked tired, like he had worked through the night.
Kate shifted in her bed, trying to bring herself into a sitting position, the arm around Alexis tightening unconsciously.
"Fine, better actually, my head hurts a bit but I haven't thrown up or anything"
She wanted out, she hated hospitals and Rick knew it. He also knew that she loved the baby inside her more than anything and if the doctor said she needed to stay for the baby's sake then Kate would do so without a fight.
Dr. Andrews picked up the chart from the foot of her bed, flipping through the pages.
"It seems very unlikely that you have suffered any permanent damage, and being a cop, I'm sure you know the sign and symptoms to look out for, that being said, I don't see why you can't be on your way this afternoon"
He smiled at the couple as he returned Kate's chart to its spot on the bed.
"Wait I can go home?"
She didn't want to get her hopes up, but Kate desperately wanted to be home, back in her own space.
Dr. Andrews nodded.
"You can go home, provided you come straight back if you begin experiencing any symptoms of concussion."
Relief immediately flooded Kate's system, she carded her free hand through Alexis's hair, trying to gently wake the teen.
"Lex, wakeup honey. Lex? We can go home now"
She dropped a kiss to the girl's forehead as she felt her start to slowly wake up.
"Mmm what?"
It was clear the young redhead had slept deeply, which wasn't a surprise given the emotionally taxing night she had had.
Rick decided to give his girls some time alone, still mildly surprised at how completely they had accepted each other as mother and daughter.
"I'm gonna call Lanie and the boys, they said they might stop by later today, I'll tell 'em to just come by the loft this afternoon?"
"That sounds perfect, could you also let my dad know I'm getting out? I know he'll be relieved"
Rick nodded his head, already walking towards the door.
The room stayed silent for a few minutes after Rick left, neither woman had anything to say just yet.
Kate couldn't take it anymore, after around three minutes of comfortable silence, she spoke.
"What're you thinking about?"
Her voice was not much above a whisper but she knew Alexis had heard it.
"Just wondering what it will be like.. Being a big sister."
The teens arm had been draped over Kate's stomach as they'd slept, and she pulled it back so that her hand rested over Kate's lower belly, right where the baby would be.
"When I was little, all I wanted was a baby brother or sister, someone to play with and look after.. But I had dad, and he was kind of like a kid, and he played with me all the time, so after a while I stopped needing a playmate, I kind of liked that it was just me and dad."
Kate stayed silent, not sure where the teen was going, but wanting to let her get it all out.
Alexis continued as Kate's hand fed through her red hair, calming her like she always imagined a mother would
"I wanted a mother too, not a mother actually, my mother. I used to wish that she'd come back and cry and say she loved me more than her job and she was sorry she'd every left, that I did matter to her"
The teen was starting to get worked up, her hands clenching into fists as she fought for control over her emotions. Kate, however, remained completely calm, knowing the girl needed to work through whatever feelings she had kept buried since her childhood.
"I wanted a mom and a baby sibling when I was little, and now I'm finally about to get both, but im so scared they're going to get taken away from me, that you are going to get taken away"
Kate could feel tears soaking into her hospital gown, but for the first time in the last 24 hours, her own eyes were dry. She could do this, she could be strong for the young woman who shouldn't have to be just yet.
"Lex, you know I cant promise that nothing will happen to me, or to the baby, but I can promise that I am going to protect your sibling with everything in me, and for the time being, that means keeping myself safe"
It was the best she could do, Kate wasn't about to make false promises to the girl who had just started to think of Kate as the mother figure she'd always wanted.
They fell quiet after that, each woman thinking about the baby they didn't even know yet but already loved wholeheartedly.
"No hang on - I can do it - gahh"
Kate rolled her eyes at her partner, who had insisted he could carry absolutely everything and unlock the door at the same time.
"Castle you are going to drop something, let me get the door!"
She shot Alexis an amused look, which the teen returned, fighting back a giggle.
"No no, the doctor said no strenuous activity. I can manage"
Rick had made them stop at the organic grocery store on the way back to the loft so that they could get some fruit and vegetables, the healthy sort of food the doctor suggested Kate eat.
The man was now trying to balance three bags of fruit and veg, a pharmacy bag containing prenatal vitamins, a bag of normal shopping with snacks for when Lanie and the boys came over, and of course, Kate's own bag of clothes, which he had thankfully brought to the hospital before she was released so that she could change into something less revealing than a hospital gown.
On top of this, he was adamant that he could open the door as well.
"Dad, let me do it"
His daughter let out an exasperated sigh and stepped forward, hoping he would accept her help as she wasn't injured.
Thankfully he did allow Alexis to help him, and they entered the loft not long after.
Kate was barely over the threshold, when the colourful whirlwind that is Martha blew through and hustled her over to the sofa.
"Darling! Oh I'm so glad to see you all in one piece! I would have come and seen you but I was in an acting class you see, and by the time I got the message Richard had called to tell me you were coming home! How are you feeling dear?"
Martha finally paused to take a breath, looking at Kate expectantly.
"Martha! I'm fine, just a bit sore,"
Kate gestured to the white bandage that still adorned her head, smiling slightly.
They had not told anyone about the pregnancy, deciding on the way back from the hospital that they would tell everyone together, their whole crazy family.
"Well I am relieved to hear that! Now sit, put your feet up and relax, let Richard take good care of you hmm?"
After gently pushing Kate into the soft sofa cushions, she made her way back to the kitchen, where Rick and Alexis were putting the groceries away.
"Mother"
Rick greeted Martha with a kiss on the cheek as she passed him.
"Are you leaving?"
Rick shot Kate a panicked look across the room, he needed his mother to stay put for now.
"Mother,you're welcome to stay, Lanie, Esposito, Kevin, Jenny and Kate's dad are on their way over to check up on Kate and have a drink,"
He looked at Martha hopefully, she had to be here.
The three of them had decided on their way back from the hospital that the would tell everyone about the new baby when they came to the loft, but they needed the whole family to be present, including Martha.
"Oh I don't see why not, I have nowhere important to be"
His mother glided off towards the bar, saying something about mixing cocktails.
Kate stood from her seat and walked towards Rick in the kitchen, checking her father's watch.
"We've got about twenty minutes, not too late to change your mind"
He didn't have to ask what she was talking about, it was still so new and exciting, the prospect of having a baby with Kate, and a part of him wanted to shout it from the rooftops, tell everyone that she was carrying his child, but a smaller part, wanted to keep the news just between them, their little family, their little secret.
"No you were right, they are our family, they need to know"
He smiled at her reassuringly, letting her know just how excited he was to be telling everyone that mattered.
She helped Rick and Alexis put away the rest of the groceries, despite his protests. She occasionally bumped hips with the young woman, giving her a shy smile and placing items in the cupboard.
They were still getting used to this, Alexis and Kate, they weren't quite used to being so close, having the relationship neither had dared to dream about; that of mother and daughter.
Kate knew that there would be times when their personalities clashed, when Alexis would do something that Kate would disagree with, they were both so strong willed it was inevitable.
Kate and her own mother had been the same, they had been very close, but when they disagreed, it was like World War Three, neither of them willing to admit defeat, both of them too stubborn to see that they could be wrong.
A knock on the door pulled Kate from her musings, she closed the cupboard she'd been staring into for the past few minutes and turned to face the door.
Alexis was setting out bowls of chips and other snacks on the table in the lounge, and Rick had his hands full trying to carry all the glasses to the table, leaving Kate to get the door.
She pulled the door open to find Lanie and Esposito on the other side of it.
"Well you look better, nice to see you awake and not covered in blood"
Javier tried to make light of the situation, but Kate could see in her eyes just how worried he had been.
"I feel better"
She grinned at the pair, stepping back to allow first Lanie and then Javi to walk past her.
As the male detective moved towards the kitchen, she stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"Thank you Javi, for riding with me and making sure Castle got to the hospital okay, I owe you one"
The latino smiled at her.
"No problem chica, like I said; I'm just glad to see you're okay"
She squeezed his arm once more before letting her hand drop as Javi followed Lanie into the loft.
Kate followed behind them, only to be stopped by a second knock on the door.
She opened the door to reveal her father and both Jenny and Kevin.
"Katie"
Her father greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and a one armed hug, stepping back to brush his hand lightly over her bandaged head.
"You gave us all quite a scare"
Kate ducked her head slightly in acknowledgement, moving back to allow her father entry.
"I'm just glad to see you're okay Katie"
her father kissed her once more on her injured head before moving to say hello to Alexis, he had developed quite a soft spot for the girl.
"Beckett, its good to see you"
Ryan surprised her by giving her a quick hug, pulling back with very red ears.
She gave him an easy smile.
"Good to see you too Kev, and you Jenny"
She greeted them both and closed the door behind her.
She walked back into the kitchen, smiling as she watched her family interact with each other, her hand drifting to her stomach absent-mindedly as she imagined them all together in the future, plus one extra little person.
Castle was pouring champagne into the expensive glasses he had set out on the table everyone was standing around.
"Yo Castle, what's the occasion man?"
Esposito fixed the writer with a suspicious look, his eyes narrowing.
"We're drinking to everyone's good health"
The writer's smooth reply seemed to placate the detective momentarily.
Kate moved to Rick's side and began passing out the champagne to her family, handing her dad the special non-alcoholic apple cider Kate had bought specifically for the two of them.
Rick poured Kate a glass of non-alcoholic champagne, a fact that did not go unnoticed by the ever-observant Irish detective.
"You on some weird pain med's Beckett?"
All eyes turned to Kate when she replied.
"Nope, no pain meds, the doc just said rest and Tylenol should do the trick"
She smiled at the confused look on Ryan's face and felt Rick's arm snake its way around her waist.
She waited for the question she knew was coming.
"There a reason you aren't drinking the good stuff?"
Esposito was suspicious once again and it took all of Kate's restraint not to laugh at the look on their faces as they tried to puzzle it out.
Taking Alexis's hand in her own and leaning into Rick's strong body, Kate took a breath.
She was suddenly nervous to tell them. Looking at their curious faces, she was suddenly terrified to know what they thought, to let them all into the little bubble that the secret had created around the three of them.
She stood up straighter and squared her shoulders, looking each of them in the eye, Martha, Javi, Lanie, Kevin, Jenny, and finally her dad, she saw the hope in his eye and the hint of a smile on his face.
Her own face cracked into an enormous grin as she cleared her throat and spoke the words she still couldn't believe were true.
"I'm uh, pregnant, we're having a baby!"
So there is it, the next chapter will be everyone's reaction to the news, let me know if you have any strong feelings about how anyone is going to react or if you see any errors in this chapter. I am not sure if it flows well with the rest of the story, so let me know what you think. All mistakes are my own and im not a doctor, just making up the medical stuff. Thank you to those who are still with me 3 BC xo