My goodness, hello again! This is Persephone, back after much too long, with the next chapter of this story. For those who are still reading, and for those who will read this, and for those who have read in the past, I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart.

Murphy's law. That was the term Hiroki would have used to describe his life in that moment. Everything was too good to be true; he was finally happy with Nowaki, and now the past had caught up to him, digging up the most painful and significant memories. He was still holding the envelope, still unopened, but becoming more and more wrinkled as he massaged it with his hands.

He wondered if he could just throw it out. What did Akihiko have to say to him after all these years? How did he even find him? And what was this strange, painful sensation in his chest? He had been through much suffering in his lifetime, but this was somewhat unfamiliar to him.

Taking a deep breath, Hiroki dug his finger under the flap of the envelope and ripped it open. A small piece of paper was enclosed, and the message written on it was short in length. It read:

Hiroki,

It's been a while. How's everything? I arrived back in Japan a couple of months ago, and it took me forever to find you. I know we haven't been in touch, but I can explain more when we meet in person. Write back soon.

Akihiko

Hiroki grimaced. After over a decade of no contact, his childhood friend could still not bring himself to be a little bit sentimental.

As he read the phone number listed on the bottom of the page, he thought about Nowaki. How would he react to this?

He decided that he would never be able to tell him, considering that Nowaki didn't even know how serious his feelings for Akihiko were. He had told him it was an innocent crush; he would be destroyed if he were to find out that Hiroki had been in love with him all throughout his childhood.

Unable to process everything, Hiroki dragged himself to his room, hoping that sleep would clear his senses. It took an hour for him to finally fall asleep, and for the first time in a long time, it wasn't because of his head was filled with thoughts of Nowaki.

The next morning, Hiroki woke up in a daze, and saw that Nowaki had sent him a text message.

Hiro-san, would you like to meet up today? I know that you're probably busy with packing and since it's your day off, you may want to just stay in. I can come over, if that's the case.

Hiroki smiled to himself at Nowaki's eagerness, and responded that he would be grateful to have his company that day. Packing wasn't going to be difficult; he only owned so much, after all.

After hitting "send" on his phone, he took a deep breath. Now was the difficult part. The letter was still there on his living room table, which confirmed that the previous night's events had not been, as he hoped, just something he imagined.

Refusing to let himself falter, he quickly dialed the number listed at the bottom of the page, and held the phone to his ear with a sweaty hand. The line was ringing, and he felt his heart start to beat faster.

Maybe this is a bad idea. What do I even say to him? Even so, I can't just not respond, he's been looking for me, hasn't he? What if he finds about Nowaki?

Hiroki rolled his eyes at himself.

Why would he ask about him, he doesn't even know him! And so what if he were to find out that I'm in a relationship…

"Hello?" said a voice on the other end.

Hiroki nearly jumped out of his seat. "H-Hey, is this Usami Akihiko?"

"Ah, Hiroki! So you got my letter! I can't believe it's really you."

"Uh, yeah." Hiroki cleared his throat. "Um… yeah, me neither." All of a sudden, he felt very embarrassed about his menial job. Akihiko had gone on to be an extremely successful author, while Hiroki had the resume of a sixteen-year old.

"Forget talking over the phone. When are you free?"

"Not today!" Hiroki said too hastily. "I mean, I'm about to move, so I have to pack. But we can meet this weekend."

"Great," replied Akihiko. Even over the phone, his presence was dominating. "Is there anywhere close to you that you want to go to? I don't want to make you come all the way out to where I am."

"Um… yes. It doesn't really matter to me, but-"

"Perfect. Text me an address. I'm kind of in the middle of something, but thanks for calling. Really. It's good to hear your voice."

"Y-you too." Hiroki felt himself sweating. "Um, Akihiko-"

"I gotta go, I'm sorry. But I'll see you soon." There was a click, as Akihiko hung up the phone.

Hiroki let out a long sigh. He had no choice but to settle for a short phone conversation for the time being.

"Akihiko…" he said, mostly to himself. Hiroki could only stare at the tall man in front of him, much different, but also exactly like the teenager he knew many years ago. Akihiko had grown up to be the handsome, successful product of society that everyone had expected him to, and Hiroki couldn't believe that they had once shared a bond so strong, but ended up leading two completely different lives.

"Hiroki," Akihiko said again. He smiled at him, and once Hiroki had stood up, he pulled him into a tight embrace. "It's been too long."

"Yeah… it has." Hiroki's legs felt weak. He smelled the scent of cigarettes on Akihiko's jacket; had he taken up smoking?

"Let me get a good look at you," said the writer, grabbing Hiroki by the shoulders. Once he got a close look at his expression, he asked, "What's the matter? You don't look so good. God, look at how thin you are, and these clothes, too. Why are you walking around wearing these worn out things?"

"Akihiko." Hiroki tried to smile. "I'm okay. More importantly, what brings you back to Japan? Or rather, how did you find me after all these years?"

"With extreme difficulty," said Akihiko, laughing slightly. "I had to track you through your workplace, and if the nice lady hadn't happened to be a fan of my work, I probably would have been mistaken for some kind of stalker. You really gave me a chase there."

Hiroki's heart sank at Akihiko's kind voice. He had tried so hard to forget everything from his past life, but here it was, right in front of him.

"Anyway," Akihiko continued, "after your parents called my family telling us that they wanted to cut all contact, I was obviously confused. I reached out to them a couple of times during high school, but I couldn't get a hold of them, and by extension, I had no way of contacting you directly. And then… the incident happened, of course, but I…"

He paused to clear his throat. Hiroki waited for him to finish, with a pitiful expression on his face.

"I… wondered why you didn't bother to reach out to me. I figured now that you were an adult, you weren't living with your parents anymore, but I never heard anything. So I figured maybe you… decided that you hated me or something. Or worse, I thought something had happened to you…"

"Akihiko, I-"

"I came back to Japan to find you. My career is going well, and I have a large audience here in Japan, and my manager wanted me to do some promotion work here anyway, but I was only thinking about you. I wanted to know how you really feel, or at least confirm that you're still alive. And I'm glad to see that you are." He gave a dry laugh.

"Akihiko, hold on. What 'incident' are you talking about?"

Akihiko's eyes narrowed. "The one involving your parents, what else?"

"Ah… I see." Hiroki clenched his jaw. He had no idea what he was referring too, but he couldn't think of a way to explain to Akihiko about everything that had happened. He wasn't even sure if he should tell the truth.

"Hiroki." Akihiko's voice got serious. "Do you not know what happened to them?"

Hiroki shook his head, looking down at the table. "I left the house soon after you moved."

"What? Why?" asked Akihiko. "Hiroki, where did you go that you weren't informed of their passing?

Hiroki's stomach dropped. "I… I was living with someone else. Um, what happened to them? How did they… you know…"

"They committed suicide. I think I was just entering university at the time…" Akihiko also looked away. "I'm sorry to be breaking it to you like this, Hiroki."

"It's fine…" Hiroki replied in a quiet voice. Suicide? When? Why? Because of me? I thought they hated me, they were going to disown me, weren't they?

"Hiroki." The writer reached for his hand.

Did they look for me… all that time?

"Hey, look at me." He squeezed his hand tightly.

Why didn't I try to go back to them after I escaped?

"Hiroki, I'm sorry. I really am."

The tears started to surface, and then there were only silence, as the broken man let them fall, not making any sound, but his chest heaving with the effort.

Akihiko moved into the chair next to his friend, not caring about if anyone was staring. He put his arms around the crying figure and pulled him close, feeling the tears seep into his shirt.

Hiroki buried his face into Akihiko, grabbing tightly onto him. In a shaky, muffled voice, he said, "It's my fault, Akihiko. I killed them."

"Kusama-san!"

"Yes?" Nowaki felt his face turning red.

"How long are you going to stand there and daydream? There's a customer here!"

"Huh? Oh, yes, I'm sorry! How can I help you?"

The flower shop was unusually busy that day, and as much as Nowaki would have liked to drift off into his fantasy, he couldn't afford to. He had recently picked up his job here to help pay for school, and now that he and his new lover had plans of moving in together, there was no room for mistakes.

"What's going on today? You're usually so sharp, Kusama!" The shop owner, a small old man, shook his head in disproval.

"I'm sorry," said Nowaki, bowing. "I was just occupied with some personal matters."

"Well, you better shape up, young man!"

"Yes, sir!"

Still red, Nowaki shuffled into the back room to start filling out orders that they had received for that week. He didn't know exactly what, but something felt off that day. He wondered if he was getting sick, or if he was just fatigued from working and studying. Whatever it was, it made him feel very uneasy.

He decided to brush it off. He had promised to meet Hiroki after work, and he didn't want to seem as if he were in a bad mood.

After finishing his shift, Nowaki ran to the small apartment that he had become well acquainted with in the past few months, overflowing with excitement. No matter how difficult his days were, seeing his companion washed away his worries.

As he approached the building, he saw two figures outside of Hiroki's door, who didn't appear to be saying much, only standing there. He was about to call out, when the two men locked into an embrace, which caught him off guard.

This was a scene too intimate to watch; Nowaki felt as if he were intruding on something that he should not have seen. He looked on as the taller figure, whose face he could not make out, stroked Hiroki's cheek gently, as if he were wiping away tears. Suddenly, Nowaki felt frightened. He couldn't believe that this was his lover. Seeing him so close with someone else made his heart burn with jealousy, and while he hated himself for reacting in such a manner, he didn't care.

"Hiro-san!" Nowaki tried his best to sound calm, but he felt his heartbeat quickening.

Hiroki nearly jumped in surprise. Murphy's law, he thought. Why not just beat me to death already, God, Buddha, whoever?

"Ah, Nowaki…" Hiroki quickly wrestled out of Akihiko's embrace. "You're back. How was your shift?"

Nowaki didn't respond at first. He was too busy dissecting Akihiko with his eyes, as if he were some alien life form.

"Nowaki?"

"It was fine, thank you. I hope your day was all right as well."

Akihiko awkwardly looked down at his feet, not wanting to provoke anyone.

"You're the author, aren't you? Usami-san." Nowaki asked, trying to soften his voice. "Hiro-san told me a lot about you."

"Oh, did he? That's good to hear." Akihiko slightly held out his hand, which Nowaki shook without enthusiasm.

"Akihiko, this is Kusama Nowaki, he's my… um…" Hiroki let the sentence drop.

Nowaki didn't finish it for him. Even though he had heard that Akihiko had just been a childhood crush of Hiroki, he felt extremely uneasy. He wondered what he would have seen had he arrived a little later…

"Anyway, I'll be going now," said Akihiko, lightly patting Hiroki on the arm. He gave Nowaki a last apologetic glance, then disappeared.

After a moment of silence, Hiroki fumbled for his key and unlocked the door. "Why don't you come in?"

Nowaki nodded, but didn't say anything. The couple entered the small room, filled with boxes of the owner's belongings, ready to be moved out soon.

"Are you going to sulk the whole time like a kid?"

"I'm not sulking," said Nowaki defensively, proving the other's point.

"Listen, you're misunderstanding. I saw him today for the first time since he left. We're friends, you understand that."

"I know, Hiro-san. It just looked like more from where I was standing."

Hiroki sighed. "Okay, how do I convince you to get this ridiculous idea out of your head?"

"I'll get over it," said Nowaki, hating himself for acting so childish. "If you say it's nothing, then I should be mature and trust you."

Hiroki smiled at this. "Okay, good. I'm sorry for making you worry."

A nod in response.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?"

A smile this time.

"Okay."

Nowaki is very beautiful, Hiroki thought, as the two lay in bed. He remembered being very jealous of the kids in his class who were taller than him, but he liked that Nowaki was much taller. He felt safe in his arms, as if they created an impenetrable shield around him. He had spent many days alone in this very room freezing when he couldn't afford heat, but he felt none of those worries next to this person.

Despite that, his head was still filled with thoughts of guilt, as he pondered what Akihiko had said. Another embarrassing moment after another, he had shown his weaknesses to the ones he loved the most. He was a murderer.

I still have feelings for you, Hiroki, Akihiko had said. A confession, after more than a decade. Despite knowing what Hiroki did to his parents, knowing his past, and even after seeing the kind of person Hiroki had become now, Akihiko had said those words. Would Nowaki be able to say the same?

He thought back to the sensation in his chest he had felt when the letter had first arrived, as it started to grab hold of his body once more. And he realized, as the darkness crushed him, that he had known what that feeling was the moment he saw Akihiko's name on the envelope. It was fear. He was afraid, not of the dark, like he was when he was a child, but of something much more threatening. He was afraid of love. The possibility that he was still in love with Akihiko was something too frightening to even consider, as it would destroy everyone around him, and himself as well.

Looking at Nowaki's sleeping face, he tried to imagine their soon-to-be life together and how they would look in that promised future. Yet no matter how hard he tried to picture it, all he could think of were Akihiko's violet eyes, their gaze piercing through the darkness.