Wow 42 reviews… I freaking love you guys. That's the most reviews I've ever gotten on a story! I have good news for those of you who want CroTuna smut: it's 100% done! Sorry it took so long and that I haven't undated for a couple days, but I was at my friends with my sister and she freaking gave us lice, then after we got rid of that my mom got the flu and now me and my sister have THAT. Still super sick, and it sucks, but that doesn't mean I can just lay around all day. So for the first time ever, we're going to be somebody we haven't been before: Sollux/Mituna's dad! Yay for us!

You are now Simon.

You're alarm goes off at 9 am and coaxes you out of your sleep, but you're used to this, what with being an adult and all. You calmly turn the damned thing off and get dressed in a button down blue shirt, a pair of jeans, and some tennis shoes. You grab your comb off the nightstand and do your best to manage your dark brown hair before exiting your room and walking downstairs. You open the fridge and take out the eggs, deciding to make breakfast for you and your sons, plus one guest. You turn on the stove and get out a skillet, setting it out the burner and cracking an egg.

You repeat these actions until you have ten eggs over easy stacked on top of a paper plate. What can you say? You really like your eggs. You open up the cupboard and grab an unopened bottle of honey. It's one of those cute little bottles in the shape of a bear that you buy simply because Mituna loves them. Speaking of Mituna, now that the food is done, you should probably go upstairs and wake everyone up. First, you make a pit stop in the downstairs bathroom and grab two of Mituna's pills and fill a small paper cup with tap water. Then you march upstairs, straight to Mituna's room so you can quickly give him his medicine.

You open the door and smile at what you see. Your baby boy, who's not really a baby but c'mon let a man dream, is curled up on top of that Cronus kid and soundly sleeping. Every now and then he'll twitch, which is just one of the effects of his syndrome, but it's still kind of cute. The Cronus kid has an arm draped over your son protectively as he snores in his sleep, which makes you snort with laughter. The Captor's might drool, which Tuna was doing on Cronus' shirt as we speak, but they don't snore.

You tap on the door politely, pretending as if you weren't just staring at these boys as they slept, but Cronus is the only one to wake. He does so with a jolt, and you quickly note how frightened he looks. Although, he isn't aware of your presence, so why would he be scared? His eyes dart around the room as if he were on drugs or something before settling on Mituna. He seems to calm down once he sees your son and smiles at his sleeping form, then looks up at the doorway and visibly tenses up.

He taps on Mituna's shoulder, to which your son yawns cutely and wakes up. He looks at Cronus and gives him a welcoming hug, then kisses his cheek and walks over to you.

"Morning Dad!" he greets, his hand shooting forward and narrowly missing your cheek. Then you remember how urgent it is to give him his pills so his spasms don't act up. You hand him the medicine and water which he gladly downs. You ruffle his hair and take the used cup from him, watching the Cronus kid out of the corner of your eye. He notices and resumes looking petrified.

"Good morning son. I cooked eggs if you two would like some: they're down in the kitchen," you inform them. Both boys nod and you take your leave: time to wake up Sollux. You exit the room, tossing the cup in the bathroom when you reach Sollux's door. You open said door and you're about to knock politely like you did before when you notice TWO people in Sollux's bed, not just one.

The other boy is wrapped around your son and looks exactly like that one kid who'd walked Sollux home. The things that worry you are a) the other kid doesn't appear to be wearing a shirt and b) your son's shirt is unbuttoned from the chest up. Assuming the worst, you bang your fist against the door and force the boys out of their stupor. They both look around frantically before their eyes focus on you, widening in horror. The mystery boy looks down at his ensamble, throwing the covers off and standing only to reveal that he was dressed in nothing more than boxer briefs. You see that Sollux is actually fully dresses, much to your relief, but why was that other kid almost naked?

"I swwear to god wwe didn't do nothin'!" the mystery boy stutters, pulling on his clothes and hopping around like an idiot, "I just don't evver sleep wwith anythin' more than boxers! I'm so damn sorry 'bout this!"

Sollux sits up and groans, turning towards you and rubbing his temples.

"Hey Dad, thith ith Eridan. He'th the kid that walked me home," Sollux explains casually, albeit with an agitated tone. You sigh and make the connection quickly enough.

"The one who's dad beats him?" you ask just to make sure, but the bruises all over Eridan's body are proof enough. You suddenly feel bad for the kid, but you're still upset about the situation you found him it.

"Yeth, that one. I didn't want him to go home cauthe hith dad and brother were there," he adds, standing up and approaching you real slow like. The Eridan boy tugs his skinny jeans on and adds a quick, "I told you Cronus isn't bad!"

Then you make yet ANOTHER connection. Not only are both of your sons dating guys, but the guys are fucking brothers. Not to mention, it seemed that neither boy in this room was aware of Cronus being in the next room. Until Cronus comes up to you in the doorway, that is.

"Ay chief I just vwanted to thank you…," he trails off, and you're pretty sure you know why. Eridan is staring at the boy behind you, and when you look, you see that Cronus is staring right back.

"There are eggs in the kitchen," you repeat before closing the bedroom door, the door leading to the hallway, and marching back downstairs. You just aren't even gonna be a part of this fiasco, it's just too damn early for this shit. Luckily, Sollux is a willing participant of this fiasco. Let's be him then, shall we?

You are now Sollux.

This entire morning is complete and utter bullshit. Not only did your dad walk in on you and Eridan in a compromising situation, or at least a situation that LOOKED compromising, but lo and behold, Cronus is here too! This is just fucking fantastic.

"You fuckin' told your dad about our dad beatin' us!?"

Oh ya, there's that to. You probably weren't supposed to make your dad aware of that fact, and you're pretty sure that Eridan is pissed off at you for spilling the beans. Oh great! There's Mituna, right behind Cronus, so now HE knows that the head of the Ampora household is abusive! This is just absolutely wonderful, go you, you've done an excellent job of fucking things up.

"Vwhat the fuck Eridan! You told him about our dad!?" Cronus shouts at Eridan, marching towards him and probably planning to hit him. Luckily Mituna stops him with just a simple sentence.

"You mean your dad… Hitth you? I don't get it, aren't dadth thuppothed to be nice, like our dad?" he asks with genuine interest, not at all grasping the full extent of this moment. Apparently, Cronus doesn't give a shit if Mituna understands or not and forgets about Eridan completely, instead turning around and charging at your brother. You stand up, ready to get in between them if need be, but Cronus doesn't strike Mituna like the majority had expected. Instead he HUGS him and buries his face in Tuna's hair.

"Not all a' us have such nice dads sport," he explains, and you could've sworn you'd heard a choked back sob somewhere in there. Was Cronus crying? Now beside you, Eridan hits the back of your head and gives you a glare that would rival Medusa. You gulp and try to look away, but his gaze is holding yours and you kind of feel guilty about this whole thing. You think he's about to say something else when you hear yelling coming from downstairs. One of the voices is your dads, but you can't quite place the second.

You do notice both Cronus and Eridan tense up though, and you figure that this isn't good. Cronus tugs at Mituna and urges him to the other side of the room as the four of you hear stomping up the stairs and even more yelling. Eridan crawls onto the mattress and cowers behind you, hands gripping your shoulders painfully as he stares at the door.

The door to the hallway is slammed open, and something inside of you tells you that you should be afraid: nay, you should be VERY afraid. Then the door to your bedroom opens and you're all staring at a man who looks very much like Eridan and Cronus, only scarier. Then the realization hits you: Mr. Ampora was in your house, and he looked absolutely pissed.

Dun dun DUNNNNNNN!