Hello everyone welcome to chapter 12 of A Shakugan no Shana III Final Parody. Let's keep on with the good job my dear readers and reviewers.
Shana: You kinda look sad today what happened.
Me: *sniff* Be- because I watched episode 23 WAAAHAAA! *sob sob* I didn't want Khamsin to die! And… the anime… is one… episode… away… from finishing NOOOO Shana don't leave us!
Khamsin: I am right here.
Shana: And I am also still here
Me: *hugs Khamsin and Shana tightly* Don't you dare to leave your fans I was in tears I won't accept you guys to leave.
Khamsin: You're the author of the story we can't leave. As long as you want us present here we stay.
Me: Th… thank you! Waaahaaa!
Alastor: I feel like you're leaving everyone else out…
Me: Of course not I love you all! No group hug.
SnH: I am not that comfortable with group hugs.
Me: Shut up and join the group hug!
Yuji: You're very demanding, aren't you?
Me: You do know that the other fans also want a group hug.
Margery: How sweet! Well then if they want a group hug then they'll get one after they've read this chapter.
Me: That's nice now Khamsin do the disclaimer.
Khamsin: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana or else she wouldn't allow anyone else to die. Can you release us now?
Me: NO!
Chapter 12: The big cleaning
Sabrac's POV
I am feeling soo sick "BLAARGHH!" I can't stop puking *BLAAARGH!* "Someone help? *BLAAARGHH!*"
How mean that everyone else is ignoring me instead of helping me. Commander… went… too… fast… *BLAAARGH!*
"Uhm… commander?"
I looked up and I saw the commander on top of the princess.
"COMMANDER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
For some reason I felt an evil aura behind me I am getting the chills. I looked behind me and I saw the Banjō no Shite with a super scary yangire face and holding a knife… "Uhm is she alright?"
"Oi! Wilhelmina get yourself together this won't be a smart move! PUT THAT KNIFE AWAY!"
"We won't allow you to hurt our commander! Sydonay, Hecate! Come help me to restrain her!"
So the Trinity and the Kishaku no Makite were trying to hold the Banjō no Shite from killing the commander…
"Must… kill… hateful existence… before… it reproduces… –De arimasu! I HATE YOU SO MUCH MYSTES! –De arimasu!"
"MPFFGFDSH! Someone please help me! Yuji, get off me this isn't fun and it's embarrassing!"
How can he do such things in public? No wonder he's been nicknamed horny snake or snake in eternal mating season.
A: Hahahahaha! He has a lot of other nicknames too, like mega perverted snake, love obsessed snake, most perverted god of all, Shana obsessed snake, hentai hebi, petanko loving god, tsundere perv, the snake who'll send Shana to eternal trauma, the nii-chan who wants to touch nee-chan all the time… that's the nickname Khamsin gave him ROFL. The perverted leader of Bal Masqué, slippy finger, snake that needs to keep his tail in control, snake on Shana's plain, second base, snake cocks a lot, dickbiscuit! Hahahahahaha!
"Why are you always so insulting? You know the commander won't like those nicknames."
A: Who cares they're funny nicknames.
I signed and decided to help them… after a few minutes we were finally able to separate the commander from the princess and calm down the Banjō no Shite a little bit…
"Commander when are we going out of this place I feel horrible I am not even in the mood to go to a restaurant and I think that…"
"BLARGHHH!"
"Yup Hecate puked on Sydonay…"
"Stop puking all over my body!"
"INSOLENT FOOLS! WHERE'S YOUR RESPECT FOR YOUR LEADER? YOU THINK THAT I'LL HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS? IT'S ENOUGH ALREADY HAVING TO DEAL WITH SAKAI YUJI EVERYDAY AND HIS CONSTANT LOVE SPEECHES FOR THE ENPATSU SHAKUGAN NO UCHITE! BUT PUKING ON MY BODY? ARE YOU ALL OUT OF YOUR MIND EVEN SABRAC URINATED ON ME! I AM NOT A PUKING CAN!"
A: Hahahahahah! This is the best day ever. The body of a god being used as a toilet! HAHAHAHAHAH!
"SHUT THE HELL UP!"
A: Oh my, did I touch a sensitive subject? Hahaha what you guys can't take the truth? What kind of a man are you? Wait sorry you're a snake not a man hahahaha!
"… let's just pretend that it's an annoying bug that refuses to leave us alone."
"At least it's not so embarrassing, as what you tried to do to me a few minutes ago in public."
"… Must… punish… Mystes… –De arimasu
"~You mustn't keep you feelings in
With little bit of affection is where it all begins
Share them all with the little kids
Ohh this feeling that can't be… *BLAARGHH*~"
"~Still… not… feeling… well…~"
"STOP PUKING ON MY BODY! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT? IF YOU KEEP ON LIKE THIS I'LL MAKE YOU CLEAN MY BODY IN CLOWN COSTUMES!"
"No! Please commander! Not that, everything but clown costumes I hate clowns they're so scary and I don't want me cute Hecate to be scarred of me! We'll try to not dishonor you anymore as long as we don't need to wear those horrible costumes!"
"Too late you pile of vomit jiji. I already hate you and even without a clown costume I'd prefer to stay as far from you as I can."
"…! He… Heca… Hecate… called me and old man… in… vomit… WAAAHAAAAA!"
"I never felt this terrible since I fell in that poisoned water. It was centuries ago and I was on a killing job again. It was so warm that day that I thought I was getting a sun stroke my clothes were stinking and sticky and I…"
"SHUT UP SABRAC!"
"… I am starting to feel horrible again… has anyone got medicine for me?"
Yuji's POV
How could they disturb my private moment with Shana! She finally has told her feelings out loud for the first time and after all the time we were separated! I deserve some alone time with my wife!
"EEEEXEEEELEEEEENTT! THIIIIIS TRIIIIIPPP WAAASS SOOO EXXCELEEEEENT! NEED TO MAAAAKEEE PIIIICTUUUURREEEES EEEVEEEERYYYYYWHEEEEEERREEEE OOOOF EEEEVEEEERYYYYYTHIIIIING! OOF THIIIIIS AAAAND THIIIIS! THIIIIS ISS SOOOO EXCCEELEEEEEENT!"
"YOU IDIOT STOP SCREAMING IN OUR EARS I THOUGHT I WAS BECOMING DEAF AND ALSO YOUR BREATH STICKS TO WASH YOUR TEETH!"
"III REEEEFUUUUUSEEE! THIIIIS IIIIS THEEE FIIIIIRST TIIIMEEEE I GOOOOT SIIIIICK! I WAAANAAAA EEENJOOOYY THIIIIIS EEEEXPEEERIIIEEENCEEE TOOOO THE FUUULEEEEST!
I covered my nose and took a few steps away from Dantalion. "You're really sick in your head!"
"IIII KNOOOOOW! YOOOOOUUUU'REEE NOOOOOT THEEEE FIIIIRST OOOONEEEE WHOOOO TOOOOLD MEEEE THAAAAAT!"
"COMMMANDER I CAN'T HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING THE TANTANKYŪKYŪ SCREAMED TO HARD IN MY EARS AND I CAN'T SUPPORT THIS SMELL! CAN I PLEASE TAKE A BATH NOW? I DON'T WANT TO LOOK THIS HORRIBLE IN FRONT OF MY HECATE-CHAN!"
"You're right about that. Now go and wash my body till it's sparkling I don't want to be humiliated. If I appeared with my revived body like that my imago will drop for sure if they see my second body covered in your puke and Sabrac's piss."
"But commander the only place available is the woman's bathroom, toilet whatever you can call it back at the final boss room, where we revived your body."
"That doesn't matter Domino, as long as you guys will be able to wash all the impureness from my body and I'll be able to present myself. Now let's go back it may take a bit longer, but who cares and of course I will not allow my wife and her friends to be left behind!"
I dragged them all on the head of my second body and we were off to the deepest part of the messed up Mario world.
We arrived at the woman's bathroom in a few minutes. I walked inside and drove all the dead spirits away.
"Okay now we can fully enjoy this. Let's go!"
"HECATEEEE-CHAN! Let's enjoy this joyful moment together! I can wash your back if you want and then you can… ouch!"
-_- "Say that again and the next shot will hit your heart."
I grabbed Shana and dragged her with me.
"Shana let's go bathe together, you're clothes are covered in blood and even the smell of death is coming from your body even the dress I got you is dirty."
"… EHHHH WHATTT?"
"… You… stay… away… from… her… –De arimasu!"
"There's nothing wrong with wanting to bathe together with my wife."
"I… won't… allow… it… –De arimasu!"
"Prohibited!"
"Oi Wilhelmina, you do know that this dimension is fucking unstable already. If you keep up with this, this fucking world will fall apart and the old bitch will get what she wants! So let's just take an opportunity of this and also relax I mean I've never been to a public bath."
"… Nothing… I can do…? –De arimasu…
"Instant defeat."
"Uhm, so who'll wash Khamsin? There's no way that he can wash himself."
Everyone focused their attention to Khamsin, who was playing with some kind of unknown thing.
"~WE'LL WASH THE CUTE KID!~"
"And Hecate-chan too!"
"… So no one?"
"Uhm wouldn't it be better if the woman washed the kid? I mean I heard that in a lot of anime and manga woman are washing the kids."
"Oi Kaijin. That makes us sounds gay you know that. I guess it'll be better that that the two fucking lolicons wash the brat… hey wait since when has a mercenary like you got any knowledge about manga or anime."
"I traveled and met a lot of people… some of them are hardcore otaku like the Tenjou no Gouka, the princess and the author. A lot keep babbling about those things, that's how I knew."
"Can I please take a bath with Wilhelmina or alone?"
"No way, I've been dreaming about this since forever! See this as part of our honey moon and I also prepared a special bath for just the two of us now let's go."
"… Why is my life so complicated?"
Sophie's POV
"CAN NO ONE DO BETTER THAN THIS YOU PIECES OF CRAP? EVEN A BABY CAN DO BETTER THEN YOU!"
I was watching the battlefield and I am not satisfied when I see those weaklings fight… I drank my tea and threw the cup at the nearest Tomogara or Flame Haze I saw.
"Ouch! My head is starting to bleed!"
"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING WEAKLING!"
"I wanna go home! Waaahaa!"
… Where is that fucking horny snake? I am getting so bored here and those Tomogara and Flame Haze are getting on my nerves. I ate a sandwich and threw it that that gay François guy.
"Noo I am allergic to this material my face is getting swollen and red someone help me!"
"GO DIG A GRAVE FOR YOURSELF AND LET THOSE HOOCKERS AND PIMPS FUCK YOU BEFORE YOU GO IN THERE! GAY SHIT!"
"… eh… eh my… my… I… I…"
"WHAT'S WRONG SHIT SISSY LOST YOUR TONGUE? OR DO YOU WANT ME TO CUT IT FOR YOU? DON'T STAND THERE LIKE A DUMB IDIOT AND DO SOMETHING!"
I kicked François as hard as I could into the battle field.
"GYAAAAA!"*BOOM*
Seems like he killed a few Tomogara and Flame Haze thanks to the impact HAH! Serves those weaklings right! HAHAHAHAHAH!
"I… think… I… did it in my pants… I WANNA GO HOME TO MY MOMMY WAAHAAAA!"
As I thought my useless granddaughter is taking too long. I am sure she's getting fucked again by her boyfriend. What a useless slut!
Normal POV
*Shana sneezes* "Yuji let me go please."
"No way! You just sneezed I won't allow you to catch a cold and stop covering your face."
"But there's no wind here and I am sure the reason I sneezed was because someone is badmouthing me and this is embarrassing!"
"No one dares to insult you! Now stop making up excuses. Come here and let me help you."
"Alastor, Help please?"
"Alastor is AFK at the moment, please leave a message."
At the woman's bath
"Wilhelmina, chill out! You know what will happen if you start to make a mess in this fucking place!"
"I think the smell is finally gone I now need to find a toothbrush and I can enjoy eating again!"
-_- "I hope the hentai jiji drowns."
"Oww look daddy bubble and they pop when I play with them yaaay!"
"Khamsin Nbh'w, what did I said about running around in the baths!"
The men's side
*sob sob* "~Why can't we take a shower with the cute Gisō no Karite, Khamsin-chan?~"
*sob sob* "And with Hecatep-chan! Waahaa!"
"Just shut up you two! I wonder why people are complaining about my stories while you're complaining about children and petanko's is a torture for everyone."
"EEEEEXCEEEELEEEEENT! THIIIIS IIS THEEEE FIIIIIIIRST TIIIIIMEEE IIII'VEEE TAAAAKEEEEEEN AAAA BAAAAATH!"
Sydonay, Sabrac and Rofocale took a few steps backwards to get as far from Dantalion and Domino as they could.
"… What's the problem with you guys?"
Sophie's POV
"S… Sophie Sawallisch-sama, we get report that the army of the self-loving Dracula, Mammon is winning!"
"WHAT THE FUCK, ARE YOU A BUNCH OF STUPID FOOLS! A VAMPIRE IS EASY TO KILL! JUST STABB THE FUCKING THING WITH A WOODEN PIN, STUF IT WITH GARLIC, USE WATER OR USE A SILVER CROSS! FUCKING RETARDS!"
"B… but Sophie Sawallisch-sama only werewolves are weak against silver and the only werewolf we know about, is the battle form of the Chōshi no Yomite Margery Daw."
"SAMUEL, YOU'RE FUCKING USELESS! WHY AREN'T YOU FIGHTING AGAINST THE TOMOGARA? WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TAKE A REST? DON'T STAND THERE LIKE A USELESS PUSSY AND GO KILL SOMEONE!"
I threw him in the battlefield here he got attacked by some Tomogara! He barely was able to escape. They're all so weak! Is that fucking snake trying to test my patience?
"Sophie Sawallisch-kun it seems like Stolas and his unit has arrived."
"… FUCK THEM! I AM GOING TO MAKE THEM REGRET THAT THEY'VE COME TO ASSIST THEIR SHITTY COMRADES!"
Meanwhile at Ribersal
"Crap how are we supposed go get to Seireiden!"
Ribersal, Phirsyon and Haboryn and their Tomogara unit are standing in front of a giant rock that's been covered with intoxicated chemicals that were covering the whole area.
"Uhm Ribersal, how are we supposed to get through this?"
"I wish I knew Phisryon… but it looks impossible, one wrong step and we're done for.
"This looks like a set up scenery from one of those RPG games… I wonder if the author will give us her protection again…"
A: Sorry guys but you're alone in this one and I kinda got inspired with a level from Xenoblade; Satory Marsh I love that level.
"… At least she saved us once."
"Can't we just destroy this thing Haborym?"
"That would be a reckless move, not only is that rock covered in intoxicated chemicals, but also the rock itself has poison gases inside if we destroy the rock then the gas will break free and everyone that inhales it will die from poison in seconds."
"That fucking old hag! I'll get her for this I swear!"
"Calm down Ribersal… let's just hope that Stolas-dono will arrive and aid the comrades that are defending Seireiden…"
"Eh… let's hope we'll be saved when the commander comes back…"
Shana's POV
So we were finally on our way back to… the slaughter field… I feel so awkward and I am sure I'll never get used to this… I looked behind me and I saw; the Trinity, Kaijin Sabrac, Rofocale, Tantankyūkyū Dantalion and Cantate Domino 28… washing the giant snake body of Yuji… I am sure that will take hours to clean it. How did things end up like this?
"Uhm Why are the Kaijin and Senpen Sydonay the only ones who are not in cleaning uniforms, but in underwear? And why is the face of the Kaijin still covered?"
"Our clothes had to dry remember princess, they were all dirty, so we had to wash it."
"But that still doesn't explain why you two are in underwear."
"I forced them to clean in their underwear after what they did. I won't forgive the ones who are mostly responsible for puking my body all over."
"Wasn't Hecate the one puking on Sydonay."
"That's because he provoked her."
"Wasn't Senpen Sydonay's clothes covered in Itadaki no Kura Hecate's puke?"
"That's true Tenjou no Gouka, but I cut off a piece of my suit and put it in a box as a memento."
"… Yuck…"
I could see the Itadaki no Kura's face turning green and Yuji trying to hide his anger.
"SYDONAY I DEMAND YOU TO THROW THAT DISGUSTING BOX AWAY NOW!"
"But Commander it's my memento of Hecate-chan it's the first thing I got from her!"
"… I can't remember the Trinity being like this, when the first war occurred. Did something happen to you that made you this lunatic?"
"But it's my treasure…"
"No buts, I won't allow you to ruin this great moment with your disgusting hobbies! I was finally able to have some alone time with my wife again and now you start collecting things that makes everyone sick! You want to clean my body alone?"
"… Mystes… has… to… die… –De arimasu."
"Exterminate."
"Wilhelmina if you… I can't believe I am saying this; behave… we… can… go… shopping… for… your… fucking… maid costumes…"
"I'll think about it. –De arimasuka."
"Reconsider the offer."
"Yaaaay this is fun I am on a giant rollercoaster! Daddy where are the cars to ride in this rollercoaster?"
"Khamsin Nbh'w this isn't a roller coaster it's the snake body of the Souzoushin!"
"So we're in a zoo?"
"No, we're in a distorted Mario world."
"Why is there a snake in Mario world? Shouldn't we go find the fire breathing turtle?"
"We're on top of a giant snake now shut up!"
"Yes daddy,"
"Behemoth, you forgot to add the word horny."
I signed Khamsin never changes… I wonder what went wrong when he made the contract… or behemoth was the idiot for making a contract with a child. For some mysterious reason they did survive very long and now they're feared by a lot of Tomogara, but that must be because of Khamsin's strange fantasy…
"Shana I can see that you finally were able to wash all that blood off your clothes. How did you bath went?"
"Alastor… it's better if you don't ask anything."
"Ohh now that I think about it, Shana why were you covered in blood?"
I felt Wilhelmina and the Kishaku no Makite flinch behind me for some reason.
"I have actually no idea Yuji… The last thing I could remember is meeting that camel called Uvall, while I was looking for a way to save my melon pan… then I think he talked something about gramps and the last what I could remember was… the blood on my nodachi and then everything went black. Before I knew it I was outside of a building, that had collapsed or something like that. There was a lot of fire for some reason and I saw Wilhelmina and the Kishaku no Makite trembling in fear for some reason."
"That is indeed odd, by the way Sakai Yuji what happened to your bangs?"
"Oh I thought it was time to use a new hairstyle."
"Yuji you only untied your bangs nothing else has changed with your hair…"
"But you do think I look better like this, right?"
"I stared at Yuji for a few seconds and quickly turned my head so no one could notice my blushing face."
"Yeah sure."
Sabrac's POV
… Why are all the readers staring at me with those strange faces? IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT THE COMMANDER ORDERED ME AND SYDONAY TO CLEAN IN OUR UNDERWEAR! I WASN'T ABLE TO USE THE TOILET AND HE REALLY WENT TOO FAST NO NORMAL PERSON WILL BE ABLE TO EVADE PUKING! Anyway, we're still cleaning the body of our commander. You should see how big he is seriously I wonder if we're able to wash it on time. You know our commander should be in the world of records book for being the biggest and longest snake ever or for having two bodies, I don't know anyone else who has two bodies and the second one that can be used as a pet.
"SAAABRAAAAAAACC WOOOOUUUUULD YOOOOOUUUUU HEEEEELP MEEEEE WIIIITH THIIIS EEEEEXPEEEERIMEEEENT? IIII WAAAANT TOOO MEEEEAAAAASUUUUUREEEE THEEEE COOOMAAAANDEEEER'S BOOODYYYYY AAAND III NEEED YOOOOUUUR HEEEELP."
"Uhm sure, but you can ask him too if you want to know his sizes for whatever sick reason of yours…"
"III MEEEEAAAAN THEEEE SNAAAAKEEEE BOOOODYYY OOOOF OOOOUUUUR COOOOMAAAAANDEEEER YOOOUUUUU IIIIDIIIIOOOOOT!"
I wonder, how many people call each other idiot…?
"But I need to wash it and you also have to help remember, I can't help you."
"OOOOOF COOOOOOUUUUUURSEEEE YOOOOUUUUU CAAAAAAN! YOOOOOUUUUU CAAAAAN WAAAASH WHIIIILEEEE YOOOOOUU'REEEE MEEEAAAASUUUUURIIIING!"
Before I could say anything else Dantalion tied me with a robe, shove some measuring tape and shoved me of our commander's body.
"GYAAAAA!"
I almost got a heart attack, until I stopped falling… at least he didn't tried to kill me.
"DOOOOOON'T STAAAAAND THEEEEREEE AAAND GOOOO MEEEEAAAASUUUUUREEEE HIIIS LEEEEENGHT AAAAND HEEEEEIIIIIIGHT!"
I wrote down the height, tried to clean the spot a bit and pulled on the robe. I got pulled up in amazing speed as if I was riding a rollercoaster…
"You… could… be… more… gentle… I thought… I was going to die. *pant*"
"DOOOON'T JUUUST STAAAND THEEEREEE AAAAND STAAART RUUUUNIIIING TOOO THEEEEE TAAAAIIIIL!"
I guess it's time for the cleaning marathon… run to the end of the commander's tail and trying to wash the path ahead of me…
5 hours later
*Huff huff* I *huff huff* think that I *huff huff* am almost there *huff*
A: Sorry Sabrac but you're only halfway. Well, good luck trying to get to the end!
What normal person would be able to get to the end before we reached the exit of this world?
"Hi Kaijin Sabrac,"
"What… do you want Domino? Can't… you see I am doing a favor for your creator?"
"Yeah about that the professor thought that you'd be tired halfway or even sooner so he asked me to deliver this to you."
"Deliver wha…"
"Before I could finish my question Domino stuffed some strange looking pills in my mouth and in a few seconds my body was starting to act strange."
"Domino what is…?"
"Steroids now you'll be able to reach the end in no time! Now, good luck!"
"Wait but that's! No you can't! GYAAAAA!"
I suddenly started to run superfast and before I knew it I was at the end of the tail. I was even able to clean in super speed… using steroids couldn't be that bad I guess.
When I got back Dantalion was… using some strange machine for washing. I think it'll be smart to not ask details about that.
"Now you got the measurements you happy now? Please let me finish my job now."
"WAAAAAIIIIIIT IIII NEEED YOOOU FOOOOR OOONEEE MOOOREEE TAASK!"
Oh god, just shoot me please.
"What is it?"
"COOOOOUUUULD YOOOOU MEEEAAAASUUUUUREEEE OOOOUUUUUR COOOOMAAANDEEEER'S… OOOOUUCH MYYY HEEAAAD!"
"…"
"YOU SHAMELESS IDIOT, HOW DARE YOU TO EVEN ASK THOSE KIND OF THINGS AS PART OF YOUR EXPERIMIMENT! IF YOU TRY THAT AGAIN I'LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO INVENT ANYTHING ELSE!"
Everyone else was staring shocked at Dantalion. I guess he went too far this time.
"What does that doctor mean with that daddy?"
"He's not a doctor he's a mad scientist, who has hit his head too many times and you'd better not ask those questions just go back to playing."
"Nii-chan what did that doctor meant with measuring?"
"You're too young to know those kinds of things and since you'll never grow older, your brain has also some internal damage that causes your inability to understand certain subjects no matter how many times people will explain to you. So just go play with Sabrac to kill some time."
"…"
"What's wrong Shana?"
"Don't you mean what's wrong with you? Why did you sound so smart suddenly?"
"I am not an idiot."
"A lot of people think you are one…"
"Aren't you supposed to be on my side what kind of alter ego are you?"
"One that looks at the logics."
"…"
"WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ALL IGNORING ME! THAT STUPID PROFESSOR MADE ME RUN ON STEROIDS FOR HIS STUPID EXPERIMENT, THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE THING ABOUT WHAT USE IT HAS! I'VE ONLY BEEN USED AS SOME KIND OF SLAVE!"
"Stop complaining and continue to clean my body till it sparkles!"
Yuji's POV
*sigh*
"Is something wrong Shana?"
"Not really except that soon I'll have to listen to gramps insults about how useless I am, since according to her I can't clean, write a proper letter, my way of speaking is terrible, I have no fashion sense, my training is horrible I don't really understand what she meant with that and that I am a terrible cook…"
"You can't cook?"
"Do you remember that day where you had to go to school alone and when you came back you found your kitchen in a mess… no worse than a mess. Chigusa said that she had an accident, well I was that accident."
"Really? It's hard to believe."
"What do you mean by that Flame Haze are well known for being terrible cooks. Even Wilhelmina can't cook. How could you not know this?"
"I wasn't sealed thanks to the Flame Haze's cooking skill in the Great War, of course none of us knew about this."
"Maybe if Mathilde used her cooking skill instead of Tempa Jyousai, she wouldn't have to die and I wouldn't end up being a widow."
"I stared surprised at Alastor; "Wait you were married?"
"Of course I was, do you have any idea how hot Mathilde was and if I overlooked her cooking skill she was one heck of a wife. I loved her so much."
"I did hear that you were in love with your contractor, but I never heard about the fact that you married her."
"I made a contract with her after we got married."
"Wait Alastor, how come you never told me this?"
"That's because you never asked, Shana."
"Because I never knew that Tomogara and gods could marry and I didn't know what a marriage was, until recently."
"So Alastor is it possible for a Guze no Ou and a Flame Haze to have a child?"
"EHHHHH?"
"Don't… go… too… far… Mystes… –De arimasu."
"Put that fucking knife down Wilhelmina!"
"I am sorry Sakai Yuji, but I think this isn't the right time and place to talk about that kind of subject. You shouldn't forget that we're in the middle of a messed up war."
"Commander I think I can see the exit already! I can finally taste my delicious food again."
I could swear I saw Bel Peol drooling when she said that.
"Uhm commander?"
"I… am not… feeling so well… I think I need to…"
Before Sabrac was able to finish his sentence he collapsed.
"… What the hell?"
Victim list:
Purson – transformed into a kitten
Urvall – absorbed into Nietono no Shana
Other Tomogara that were victimized by Shana and Tenmoku Ikko – absorbed into Nietno no Shana
Ninjas – absorbed into Nietno no Shana
Samurais – absorbed into Nietono no Shana
Judo masters – absorbed into Nietono no Shana
Sumo wrestlers – absorbed into Nietono
Decarabia. – Hospitalized
Yaay that was chapter 12 I hope you guys liked it. Well I feel a lot better now. If it weren't for some friends of mine who helped me with a few part I could never finish this. Ohh and since I've written about 14 chapter already I am planning to make a popularity poll about the characters the top 5 will be in a special chapter that I am going to write you can vote up to 5 characters and for the non registered readers just leave a review with your top 5. Go check my profile page for the poll.
Phirsyon: So will you let go of us now?
Me: Not until I am fully recovered from my depression!
Khamsin: But you've been hugging us for hours and I am sure some of us have trouble breathing.
Bel Peol: Yeah I need fresh air and your hug is a bit too tight.
Me: Not my problem! I won't let go of any of you!
SnH: Please this really isn't my style…
Me: That's because you were never in contact with a girl and you never read a book about how to handle your fans!
SnH: … Release me.
Me: NEVER!
Sydonay: I think it's not so bad. Let's think about the bright side of this. We're loved so much by the author that she refuses to let go of us.
Marcochias: Kinda weird since she always makes fun of us.
Me: That's because this is a parody it's normal that the characters are being making fun of. Now let's go I have a lot of snacks and drinks prepared. Till next time guys and don't forget to leave a review.