(A/N) I'm not even going to try apologizing for how long I've been away. All I'm going to say is that I haven't been able to get to a computer and write anything, the reasons of which are a tad personal, but I will tell you that there was some family drama that I had to resolve that was overall distracting me. The backlash from confronting the problem was what took me away for so long- to summarize, I was… stuck, mentally. Perhaps a little depressed and running from my problems, but now that I'm back and have the mental/emotional fortitude to continue my Path, I plan on sticking back with it. Fortunately, the time away has given me plenty of ideas to work with for War of OA, Hunter's Dream, this story and its follow-up. I'm starting with this one as a way to get back in the groove.

I am so glad to be back, Wholesome Hosts. LET'S GET STARTED.

Chapter 10

Agent Smith was a monster- no, not like that. More in the metaphorical sense. She was the perfect case study for any writer, philosopher, or licensed psychologist who wanted to figure out more about human morality for the simple sense that she had none other than good intentions. She was a utilitarian. When it came to her goal of promoting peaceful relations between humans and the extraspecies, she didn't care who she had to step on or hurt, what laws she had to break, or what drama she had to start.

And as much she loved Kayo, he wasn't any exception. She cared more for his household than she cared about him, and if she had to upset him sometimes to achieve the greatest possible outcome for her ambitious goals, then so be it. In her mind, the girls' happiness was first and his was second.

There was no way she could deny that Kayo was a great person, and if the words of her MON Squad and the monthly check-ins with his homestays were anything to go by, an ideal man that most girls would be excited to call their beau. Even though she had never really cared about romance herself, she couldn't deny he was attractive and very considerate of those he cared about. He was too pure for this world. A sexual deviant, to be sure, but it had to have been some kind of divine intervention that led her to his house when she was looking for a place for Miia to stay. Who else could host five girls, and not only stay stable under the pressure, but keep his household peaceful and turn every member within into a closely-knit family? There was no way he was completely human, at least not anymore.

Which could only mean one thing… Regardless, she could handle that issue when it became a real problem. For now, what harm would it cause for another girl to join them?

The only problem…

"What do you mean you lost her?!" Smith hissed into her phone.

… was that her team was wholly incompetent.

She was supposed to meet with the Ghirahim household in the nearby park where Kayo's new charge could swim in the lake should she need to, but at the moment, she was driving around the surrounding city blocks looking for her since she thought it was a great idea to sneak away from her bodyguards. The girl just didn't understand her situation sometimes. With rare exception, it was illegal for any liminal, regardless of status, to be out in public without their host, but that was doubly true for a VIP such as herself. If she was caught pretending the rules didn't apply to her, it could create some serious damage to the peace between humans and monsters.

Sighing, trying her best to calm down, Smith knew that this girl wasn't so selfish. She was very excitable and impulsive, and would often forget the situation at hand so she could give into her whims when the urge overpowered her. She wasn't so bold as to pretend that laws were unimportant. Her mother wouldn't allow that.

Still, it would be best to find her as soon as possible. The longer she was alone, the more likely it would be for a political incident to occur.

(...)

Ever since Miia and I had officially gotten engaged, things had been at a high for me and the others. Sure, there would be a bit of drama here and there, mostly revolving around Rachnera leaving her webs everywhere or Papi being a bird brain, but with all of the romantic tension between the girls being resolved, every argument was about general roommate nonsense. We were happy.

I had to admit that Miia played the biggest role in the household's fresh dynamic. She had always been flirty and slightly overbearing, but now that she felt she no longer had any competition for my affections, mostly due to her species' polygamous qualities, I had noticed a big change in her personality. Now, she was more motherly. She had always wanted to be a good wife and was very open about her desire to have the perfect family, that it was her reason for living if nothing else, but she had turned into a central figure that the family could rally around almost overnight. She began treating Centorea and Rachnera with respect as her sisters, nestling into a comfortable friendship. As for Suu and Papi, even though the pair were the same age as her physically, she treated them as if they were her own children, and did everything she could to make sure they were happy.

Rachnera and Centorea, on the other hand, didn't change much. At best, I could tell you that they were happy, but the fact Miia had more or less consented to sharing me with them didn't seem to affect them much. I tried to put it out of my mind, but I couldn't shake the subtle discomfort that followed us everywhere we went. I knew it was weird, but now that the threat of constant romantic turmoil and in-house mortal combat wasn't perpetually looming over my head, I was more uncomfortable than I had been over the last half a year. It was as if the removal of danger made me feel more anxious than the presence of it.

I didn't see Rachnera much anymore. She had been spending an abnormal amount of time in her room lately, but our witty banter had become more cunning and it kept me on my toes a bit more than usual, as if she was trying to find a hole my defenses. She only ever came out of my room when she needed something though, so I didn't see her often. Whether it was food, coffee, or sex, she came out of the attic only a few times a week, and her absence, as much as it made me miss her, made me think that our new romance had something to do with it. She was very open and seductive, and very secure in her status as my girlfriend, so she had never been to put off with sharing me before, so I had to ask her why she was hiding. Turned out that she just loved the chase too much and now that there was no competition for me, she didn't have much of a reason to associate with the family anymore.

I called her a brat, gave her a peck on the lips, and moved on.

As for Centorea, she was still as uptight as always since her paranoia and excitable personality never had anything to do with everyone trying to get in my pants. She was still her usual jumpy, passionate self. As long as she remained my knight, she would forever fill her role as such, and honestly, I wouldn't want her to be anything else. She wasn't just a knight, nor a woman of honor. She was MY knight. I wouldn't have accepted her into the house if I was going to make her pretend to be something she wasn't. First and foremost, she was the very epitome of chivalry and I loved that about her.

Plus, riding a horse, even if the mount's upper half was a very attractive woman whom I had to resist the urge to fondle her buxom breasts was a great lower back and leg workout. If I ever started fighting professionally, my kicks would be deadly.

Too bad Agent Smith hated me. The coordinator knew that I had spent months trying to get these girls on friendly terms, even if she didn't yet know about my boiling their cabbage just yet, so she just had to ruin it. She was like a parasite that sees joy and glee and thinks "ah yes, time to destroy this beautiful thing." She had helped me out on several occasions, keeping me out of prison on a few occasions when I was trying to protect the girls from terrible humans, but given how frequently she made it a point to bust into our lives and wreak havoc, I was quickly beginning to hate her.

Although, I was pretty sure she only helped me out because she cared about the girls staying with me and nothing else. If I was benefited by Smith trying to look out for their happiness, then that was just my own good luck, otherwise the government Agent couldn't care less about me. Case and point, it looked like the Ghirahim household would be getting a new homestay.

"You have such a thick tail Miia! You look as though you could give a mermaid like me a run for her money in the water!" said the girl in the wheelchair, clasping her hands together in an oddly regal fashion as she complimented my fiance.

"Thank you, Mero…" Miia replied tensely, forcing a smile as the vein began pulsing in her forehead, "And your dress is so… interesting."

Still sitting on Centorea's back from when we were riding around the quay, resting my head against the blonde's shoulders, I glanced over at the two. Last time I complimented Miia's "thick tail," I had to request a new door from the ICEP and could only eat my meals through a mechanical straw for a week. She didn't like that. She tried to hide it though, but I could see the subtly cutting way she hit the new girl back. Miia was a girly girl in terms of fashion, maybe not with dresses but she always dressed fashionably and very feminine, so she made it a point to avoid goth culture. Commenting the other girl's lolita style dress was not a compliment.

"Yeah it's so fluffy and light! It would make flying so easy!" Papi chimed in, flying around her to try to get a better look.

"Fluffy!" Suu echoed, oozing her way closer to the woman as she were about to devour her. I hit her with a low charge taser and then gave her a bottle of water.

"They're easy to get on, too," the wheelchair girl explained, twisting her body and showing the lace on her back, "The laces of the dresses I specifically buy are made of spandex, so you don't have to worry about tying them, and they stretch to match your figure so they're always fashionable."

Papi whined and landed on Centorea's back and wrapped her wings around me.

"Please buy me some of these dresses, Boss!" she squealed.

Centorea quite clearly did not take this new passenger well and squeaked, dropping the water she had been drinking. On sheer instinct, she began bucking. Papi handled it fine thanks to the fact that she had wings, but even when the girl had left, Centorea got spooked and wasn't able to stop, so she just kept bucking, and would keep that up until she was free of all the weight on her back. I tried to hang on as best as I could, but hey, I'm no cowboy. Going on Centorea's morning runs was the closest thing I had ever been to riding a horse, so it didn't take very long for me to go flying through the air like a spear looking for something to- ahem -penetrate. Suddenly, my trajectory changed and I lurched to the side.

"Will you guys please be more careful? Papi, you know Honey is the only one Cerea will let ride her," Rachnera said, crawling out of a tree she had been watching us from while carrying me like a young, virile bride. It was vaguely emasculating, but oddly comfortable, even with her cold chitin claws.

"I got her," Miia said defeatedly as if this happened almost every day. I could see the devious smirk on her face, though, so I could tell she was just happy to find an excuse to get away from the girl accosting us.

"So, Miss Mero," I cleared my throat, having Rachnera set me down next to the woman before shooting herself back up into the tree, "Thank you for spending the day with us. It was nice to have company on our morning walk."

I glanced around, looking for Suu since she had been trying to get at Mero all day. It would be pretty bad if my favorite slime attacked the girl, even if she was a monster and the ICEP's rule on violence didn't apply to them, but I caught her out of the corner of my eye. Miia was making sure the girl was hydrated, almost enough to grow her to her adult form, and shot me a wink. As long as I distracted Mero, she had things over there. On a related note, Centorea had calmed down and was banging her head against a tree out of embarrassment a few feet away thanks to Miia's involvement.

Christ, I loved that woman.

"It was truly my pleasure, Mr. Ghirahim!" Mero gleamed, turning to me with a smile.

"I feel as though I should apologize for my family," I said, curling my lip, "They can be a bit much when you first meet them. I can promise you that they're good people though. I love every single one of them."

"Yes, I can tell the way you stare at them," Mero mentioned, "Between Rachnera, Centorea, and Miia, you have a much different shine in your eye than when you look at other girls."

Something was odd about the way she said that. First thing was that she was clearly good with names, having listed off three that she had only heard in passing an hour ago with ease, whereas I was pretty sure none of the other girls had even heard hers. Not only that, but she was pretty observant to see how I lit up when the girls crossed my mind. To be fair, I knew plenty of people who could pick up on subtle clues and had a flawless memory for the small things like that, but it was the way she said it that sent a chill down my spine. She went from bubbly and light to dark and intense in a split second. I watched her shoulders rise and fall and could tell her breathing had become short and slightly erratic, but just as quickly as this slightly psychotic side of her appeared, it vanished.

She looked up at me with that same bright smile she had been wearing since we had met like nothing had happened. Frankly, she was so gentle now, I questioned if I had hallucinated the past few seconds since there was no trace of that split personality from a second ago. There were plenty of ways to tell if someone was acting or putting on act. Their cheeks would tense up, their eyebrows would go all but completely still, and in some cases, the majority of their bodies would freeze as if they had physically left the entire conversation, but I didn't see anything like that with her. Her movements were too casual, too relaxed.

Either she was a complete sociopath, or she was hiding something. I don't know if she saw it on me, but out of the corner of my eye, I could see the loving smile on Miia's face drop in concern as she saw the emotion drain from my eyes in preparation.

"Tell me, what do you think of them?" I asked.

"What do you mean, Mr. Ghirahim?" Mero asked, tilting her head. I eyed her carefully as I continued.

"The girls, I mean. Clearly you can tell that they mean something to me, but what do you think about them?"

"They all seem very great!" Mero explained, "Even though you're all vastly different from each other and none of you are the same species, you all seem like the happiest family. I'm grateful for the chance to get to know you." I gave her a once over. That was an oddly political answer, giving me plenty of details on her feelings without truly answering the question.

"How I met Centorea was actually a pretty romantic story," I said, getting an idea.

"Oh?" Mero responded. It was so miniscule to the point where I wouldn't have been able to spot it if I hadn't been looking, but I saw her tense up slightly, unable to get a full breath for a second. Otherwise, there was no change in her composure.

"Better than most." I took a breath, getting into a mindset fit for storytelling as I began pacing around Mero's wheelchair. "She was my sparring partner for a long time. Miia had been staying with me for maybe a few weeks at that point, and I was just able to get back to my morning runs that I had been skipping out on during Miia's stay when I met her. We talked for a little bit about, discussed martial arts and what it meant to be a warrior, and then we began sparring for a bit."

Looking down at my audience, I could see that Mero was engrossed in the story, watching me intently with awestruck eyes, same as Papi's who was sitting on Rachnera's carapace up in the tree above us. The arachne wasn't as interested, having her head turned away from us, but I could still tell she was listening.

"After awhile, I had become pretty good with a sword- she had been training with them, by the way. However, we had apparently been stalked for awhile by a guy who I had beaten up on a social studies field trip with Miia after he had attacked us. This time, though, he brought friends to back him up."

"No!" Mero gasped quietly, holding her hands up to her mouth.

"Yes!" I shot back, smiling not because I enjoyed her reaction, even though that was also true, but because I could see her facade starting to crack, showing a small trace of tension in her movements which made them seem unnatural and showing me she was acting again, "So it was me alone against, what, five other guys? Centorea couldn't fight them because she's a centaur and would create an international incident if she hurt them, which I'm sure you can tell would be easy for her, so I did my best to fight them off. It was the hardest fight of my life, but with all of the training I had endured, and no small amount of luck, I ended up on top. After that… well, I could tell you, but I guess you could say I'm legally obligated not to. I don't want the ICEP coming down on me about the reward Centorea gave me."

I watched closely. Mero's face had dissolved from the previous enigmatic persona she had been keeping up into a darker, more peculiar one. It wasn't dangerous, or terrifying. It was just cold. Her breathing was coming to her short and ragged and her face was flushed.

"That is quite the romantic story," she said harshly. I didn't look at Rachnera directly, but I saw that she was now watching us very closely.

"Yeah, I guess you could say it is," I admitted, my smile dropping to a deadly scowl.

"Tell me, would you please? Are you and Centorea still-" she gulped "-close?"

"You could say that," my throat let out, my voice getting closer and closer to a growl as the world around me began to drown itself out.

"Interesting," the true Mero noted, her tone having the most guttural mewl to it, "I must say, I wasn't expecting you to be so open with your affections."

"And just what do you mean by that?" I was caught off guard, but I tried my best not to show it.

"You and Miia obviously have the same relationship, or at least you both know of your feelings for one another," Mero's smile widened to an unnatural width, showing even more of her mentally unstable side if not by the toothy snarl but by the fervent folding of her hands, "I can't help but wonder if you have other girls you'd like to get to know."

"I'd say there's one," I mentioned, pointedly looking up at Rachnera who looked at me like she was ready to eat Mero alive.

When Mero didn't respond, I turned to face her one more time, only to recoil at what I saw. She was twitching. Her hands furled and unfurled her dress until the mermaid tail she had been hiding fell out of its hiding place, her head ticking one way or the other like an off kilter metronome. Her breath was now coming in ragged pants. I swear, if she looked up at me, I would see the soulless orbs of a violent sociopath.

I didn't know nor care about anything else other than getting away from her. For the past three years, I had been fooled by the Interspecies Exchange Bill into thinking all monsters in the modern era were just like humans, but this mermaid was proof sitting right in front of me that that illusion wasn't true. The old myths and legends about their kind existed for a reason. Mero here was a reminder that some monsters were just that, monsters, and if I wanted to protect my family, I needed to get them as far away from this girl as possible.

"Darling!" Miia called behind me. I pivoted around, almost into a fighting stance, waiting to see if some kind of sea monster had captured the woman I loved and ready to fight it if need be, but I was happy to see this wasn't the case. Miia had a happy smile on her face as the tip of her tail wagged behind her, her fingers laced in front of her. She wasn't being attacked. I could calm down.

Actually, I think I would have preferred that alternative to some degree because standing next to her was Agent Smith looking utterly pissed out of her mind. Fortunately, it wasn't at me, but Mero who returned to her fake self and shrunk under the Agent's glare. Then, out of nowhere, Smith's anger disappeared, replaced with a coy smile.

"Ah! I see you've met Mero!" she introduced.

I glanced back and forth between the two of them with the most confused look possible on my face. Why… why did Smith seem like this was OK? Mero was probably the most dangerous liminal girl I had ever met, and I knew the ICEP was very stringent on the girls it let into the program, and being a coordinator of said program, Smith should have known about Mero's psychotic side. The girl was a great actor, but Smith knew how to spot that. Smith was lazy, but not incompetent, so I had to wonder why she was treating the girl with so much respect that she would give to anyone in my household. Mero wasn't that great of an actor to trick her.

I had to play along with this.

"So, you know her?" I asked.

"Yes, and you're about to get to know her better as well," Smith said with a strong implication in her voice as a smirk tugged on her lips. I ignored the obvious news and opted for a different route.

"Am I know? Just what do you know about this girl?" Perhaps my voice was a little harsh, because Smith had a tight response.

"Did she give you any trouble?" she asked with a disappointed shrug.

"Um… no? Why, did she give you any?" I didn't know how to react to Smith's exasperation. If she thought Mero was any kind of threat to my safety or the girl's, she would have treated Mero as such. Not like a disobedient child.

"She tends to do her own thing half the time, so she pushes her limits with my organization all the time," Smith explained casually, waving her hand.

"When Papi ran away repeatedly, you almost deposited- I mean, deported her," I pointed out, kicking myself for that verbal quirk she had gotten me in.

"Mero has special privileges, same as Centorea."

Right, species differences. I put it out of my mind and growled, pinching my nose out of frustration since trying to trick the answers I wanted out of people was beginning to annoy me. I turned to face Smith with the same look I would give any of my enemies, so frightening that Miia slithered away from me as I was going to hurt her, then stepped towards Smith. The agent knew what was up. Her hand went to her side, ready to draw her gun because she could see that if I didn't like where this conversation was going to go, I would probably try to hurt her.

I really wouldn't though. I know better than to challenge the government that way, especially considering they've been paying my bills for last the six months, but if I thought Smith was an enemy, I would give her hell. I would not let Mero nor her near my family again.

"Are you trying to screw me, Smith?" I snapped.

"I'm not into men," she shot back dryly, "Or women for that matter. I have too much work to do so that kind of thing is never really on the table for me. Not that I even cared for it, anyway."

"Don't start with that," I shot back, "Give me a straight answer." Agent Smith gave him a sad look, then sighed and gave him the respect she would give any of her superiors.

"I know I've pushed you a little too far in the past," she told him honestly, her voice raising in pitch ever so slightly to reflect her sincerity, "You've always helped me out before, and you've been so good with the girls that I thought you wouldn't mind another one staying with you, especially since you adopted Centorea and Suu so readily, and didn't mind me springing Rachnera and Papi on you without prior warning. I know that I've lacked giving you the respect you deserve." She took her glasses off. "As an official of the ICEP, my position dictates that I give you an apology for the ways I have wronged you, but as your friend, I will give you a personal response to your anger with me, and you have every right to be angry with me. I don't care what happens to you. The girls need to be happy. Humans are the dominant species on this planet, and the girls need someone who will help them find their place alongside us. I know you share that goal. I don't want to have to reassign Mero to a new household, especially since the paperwork would be a pain, but I suppose I could do you this one favor if you want me to."

I glanced down at Mero whose facade dropped once again to show a more vulnerable side to her. She looked panicked, distraught. Her eyes were glistening, showing that she was about to cry since I was treating her like garbage, and believe me, that interpretation wasn't too far from the truth. Anyone who wasn't safe for my family was trash.

"Anyone who would harm my family has no place near it," I told Smith, but she just blinked at me.

"Wait… what do you mean?" she asked. I tilted my head.

"I… what? I would think that that's pretty self explanatory."

"No, I mean…" Smith rubbed her temples, trying to clear her head, "She's not at all dangerous. Why do you think she is?"

"Uh… You're joking right?"

Anyone who applied to be a coordinator with the ICEP needed to have an incredible level of competence when it came to reading people and situations. Agent Smith was lazy and complacent, but I had figured this applied to her as well. At this point, with how vague her words were, I was conflicted between trying to decide if Smith couldn't tell that the girl was a serial killer in the making, or if I had misjudged her. A small part of me still hoped she was deserving of her role as coordinator. Then, a look of realization dawned on her face. One look at me and Mero standing next to each other was enough to give her a complete understanding of the situation.

"Ohhhh… No, I know she can come off like a kawaii Michael Myers sometimes, but trust me. That couldn't be further from the truth," Smith explained, "She's actually just a major slut!"

"Lady Smith!" Mero said, blatantly flustered and fanning her face with one of those Japanese folding fans that she pulled out of thin air it seemed. I sputtered, unable to respond by such a bold claim.

"Come here, Darling," she ordered, pulling me to a park bench, "I have a lot to explain to you about mermaid culture."

With the pair running off to conduct business, Mero was left alone. As much as she thought about it, she couldn't figure out what she did that might have given those two the impression that she was a villain from a horror movie, but she just couldn't shake a single feeling. Elated joy. Even though she probably wasn't going to get along with the master of the house right away, that only made her goals so much more exciting, and she couldn't stop herself from squealing. She couldn't focus on anything else.

The best part was that even though he was in love with Miia, he was a serial adulterer as well. She wouldn't need to try hard at all to become Kayo's mistress! As long as she was OK with sharing him between two others, she bet that it would only take her a week before she was sharing his bed or pulling him into the pool they were building for her at his house right now to ravage him all night long. Oh, happy day! She could not be blessed with luck anymore than this!

Still, he would need to accept her into his house. She wasn't too worried about that, though, since Agent Smith could be very persuasive. The only real issue would be if the girls would allow her to join in on their fun, but did they even know about his affairs? She couldn't be sure if they knew of his adultery, but Rachnera, Centorea, and Miia were right over there together, so it was probably best to ask now while she had all of their attention. As much as she knew running away from the ICEP's bodyguards this morning to find her host on her own wasn't the best idea, she could forgive herself if this was the outcome that had occurred from her excursion.

With dust trailing behind her, she rolled up to the girls in her wheelchair. They jumped from the sudden shock, but she didn't care. She had to ask them her question right now!

"Do you all mind if I sleep with your boyfriend?!" she shouted.

Some of the random park goers nearby heard this and eyed the group warily. As for Miia, Centorea, and Rachnera, they were too stunned both by Mero's sudden arrival and this vulgar question to notice them or even react right away. As their wits slowly came back, they at least knew one thing. With one single question, another love rival had appeared onto the scene. And things were just getting good!

(A/N) I was hoping to come back to this one eventually, and I'm sure glad I did. It was good to get back into the groove and publish something, as horribly written as this was. I picked this story because I thought the casual feel and lack of pressure I put towards this story was a good way to get back into the swing of things since I haven't updated a single chapter to date. Once I shake my rust off, I'll return to War of OA and When a Pervert.

It most likely won't be until I finish the next two updates for this story, though. Before I start working seriously on my two main stories, I want to update this story with two more chapters to see if I can't get back up to my former level of skill, or at least get comfortable at the keyboard again. To give you guys a slight spoiler in terms of plot progression, as always, Mero will get two chapters, so the next update will be her follow up chapter. I plan on doing something different with her than with the other girls, so keep a lookout for that. As for the chapter following, I want to dedicate that one more to Kayo than anyone else since I've more or less neglected a plot hole in the anime that has bugged me since I first saw it.

I'll see you guys soon! Thankfully, I can promise you that now!