Finally we are introduced to the darker side of Alyssa's past. And be warned, it's not pretty.
Disclaimer: I don't own PotO.
It was dark. Dark, but not cold. Heat, like the Devil himself igniting fires inside her body. Heavy, panting breath, smelling disgustedly of beer and tobacco. No moonlight, no struggle, no escape.
How did it end up like this? What had she done wrong? Why couldn't she make him stop? Why couldn't she do anything? Why couldn't she see?
Suddenly a beam of light from an opening door. There he was, walking out of the room. Leaving her lying alone in the dark. Taking her innocence with him.
Erik woke up much earlier than he intended.As he sat up, wondering why this was (after he was awake enough to think, of course), hewas stunned to heara very strange mumble of words coming from Alyssa's room. As quickly as he could he sprang to his feet and dashed into his room and to her bedside.
"No... Robbie... please, no... stop... I don't want..." Alyssa was lying in a tangled pile of sheets, trembling violently and occasionally giving a small lurch. Every inch of her body was covered in sweat, and patches of her skin were very oddly colored in ways that Erik was sure were not healthy.
"Oh god!" he shouted, and he leapt onto the bed. He grabbed Alyssa's hands and pinned them down, straddling her stomach, and she cringed in her sleep. Holding her down as well as he could, Erik tried to wake her. "Alyssa, calm down! Wake up! Please!" When his attempts failed, he got off her and ran into the bathroom, turning the tap for the sink. He cupped his hands and caught water in them, then kicked the door open wider and threw the liquid on Alyssa's shaking body.
Alyssa sat up and gave a desperate, loud cry. Erik turned the water off and hurried to her side. Her chest rose and fell dramatically as she breathed, staring straight ahead with wide, fearful eyes. Sitting beside her on the bed, Erik softly whispered her name, and she turned and looked at him, gradually calming down but still looking frightened.
"What happened?" Erik asked, holding her fingers tightly in his own.
"I... nightmare... Robbie..." Alyssa managed, swallowing thickly and wiping the sweat from her forehead. Erik stared at her intently, concern in every line of his face.
He gulped and questioned, "Robbie? Who is he? ...Alyssa, who is Robbie?" He was desperate for answers to what had affected her so.
But Alyssa merely tried to avoid the subject. "No one. He's... no one. It was just a dream. I'm okay."
Erik shook his head and gripped her shoulders, forcing her body to face him even though she turned her head away. "No, Alyssa. I don't believe that. Don't lie to me. Who is Robbie?"
Alyssa stayed quiet, refusing to answer him, and Erik was forced to shake her. He was careful not to hurt her, though, and only get her attention.
"Damn it, Alyssa, tell me! Who is he? Tell me!"
"Stop it!I hate youyelling at me!" Alyssa cried, pushing him away and scooting in the opposite direction.
No matter how hard Erik tried to be calm, he couldn't. His concern for Alyssa made worry ensnare his heart and mind. "I'm yelling at you because I'm worried about you!" he shouted, exasperated. "That was no ordinary nightmare! What happened? Please! ...Please... Alyssa..." Erik extended his hand, but he couldn't lay it upon her shoulder; she had moved too far. "Tell me what troubles you."
The sheer, uncovered desperation was easy to see in his eyes, and Alyssa felt the barriers she had built up around her heart naturally melt. She moved closer and lightly touched Erik's hand.
"Erik, I... I wish I could, but... Erik, please don't. Try to understand, I... I... okay, dammit! I'll tell you! But please... don't judge me... based on what I'm about to tell you." Erik raised his head and stared at her, and she continued. "...Robbie was my boyfriend. You know, back in 2005. Well, actually he was my ex-boyfriend. I know this probably isn't making any sense to you, but, basically, we were a couple. He had a reputation of being a bit of a pervert, but I didn't listen to anyone but him. It was so... so stupid of me, and I don't know why I did it, but-"
"People in love usually tend to overlook a lot. Love makes people blind," Erik interrupted.
Alyssa nodded, then kept talking. "Well, one night he took me to a party one of his friends was having, and... there were drinks going around, alcoholic drinks, of course, and... well, Robbie got pretty drunk. He came up to me after a while- I wasn't drinking, by the way- and he asked me if I wanted to..." Alyssa shuddered, and Erik guessed the words she didn't say.
He waited for her to speak, then whispered, "He asked if you wanted to make love with him?"
Alyssa nodded, tears forming in her eyes. "Before you get any ideas, though, know that I refused him. I didn't want to have sex with him at all. Like, no way. So I told him that, and he backed off, and I thought it was the end of it. Later on, I asked him to get me a non-alcoholic drink, and he did. It didn't taste different at all, but before long I started feeling really funny. It was hard to stand and move and stuff, as though I didn't have complete control over what my body was doing. Robbie asked me if something was wrong, and when I told him how I felt, he smiled and took me away from everyone else, into a dark, dark room... and he... well, I'm pretty sure you can... guess what he did."
Erik's eyes widened considerably. "Oh, god... Alyssa, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry."
Suddenly Alyssa burst into tears. "I never told anyone before, Erik. I j-just tried t-to make it seem like nothing ever happened. I mean, thank god I didn't get pregnant. I just... I remember it was so horrible. It was like I could see what was happening to my body, but I was powerless to act against it. Like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. Now I feel so... guilty. It's my body, and I should have protected it. I failed myself. I failed myself, Erik!"
As she bowed her head and tears rolled down her face, Erik felt a sudden sensation of the ultimate sadness and pity hit him. Alyssa had been raped. She had actually been raped. He couldn't believe it. No wonder she had been so frightened when he had assaulted her, and when those two boys in the musidc shop had attempted to take her away.
"Listen to me, Alyssa," he murmured. "You didn't fail yourself. What that boy did to you is no fault of yours. There is no way you could have known what he planned to do. The situation was out of your hands. The only person at fault here is Robbie. He's the one who sexually assaulted you. So... don't blame yourself. I know that nothing I say could ever take the pain away, but still... I need you to look at me and tell me that it wasn't your fault."
"Why do I have to look at you when I say it?"
A small smile ghosted through Erik's features. "Your eyes will tell me if you truly believe your own words or not."
Alyssa looked up and grinned weakly as well. Even at the most inoppurtune moments, he was still radiant with charm. "Okay... just give me a second." Erik retrieved a handkerchief out of the nightstand drawer again, and Alyssa accepted it gratefully. He waited patiently while she dabbed at her eyes. "Right..." Alyssa raised her head and took a deep, rather shaky breath. "That incident... wasn't my fault, Erik. It was that stupid son of a bitch Robbie's." She then began to laugh, more out of relief than amusement, and Erik gave her a relaxed smile.
For some reason, though, he wanted to help her in another way than just verbally. He thought about it for a minute, then suddenly realized what he could do. It wasn't an unorthdox method to any normal person's standards, but he was shocked with his boldness as he asked, "Alyssa, may I... hold you?" Both his voice and the look in his eyes were incredibly timid. Immediately he regretted asking that, for he was sure she would refuse him and knew he wouldn't find beign refused to his pleasure.
"Please," she whimpered all of the sudden, much to his surprise. Erik was taken aback, but nevertheless reached out, grasped Alyssa's forearms, and pulled her to his chest. He held her tightly as she broke down into tears again.
"Cry as much as you need to, Alyssa," he consoled. "Don't hold yourself back, or you'll never fully get this burden off your chest. I'll tell you this, though. You have been so strong this whole time. So many people would have fallen into despair after going through what you did, but you were strong enough to smile and laugh again. That is amazing. ...Okay, okay, my dear. Everything will be all right. It's okay. I'm... here."
Normally when met with those words, Alyssa would have given the person a sharp retort, such as "How is that supposed to help?" However, she simply kept her mouth shut and looped her arms around Erik's neck, pressing herself closer to him. For some reason, it did help that he was there. More than she could have ever expected or wanted. She was really, really glad that Erik was there.
Sorry it took so long to update, but I've been recently struggling with my parents for the rights to use the laptop ion my room so that I can get more writing done... and it's been quite a debate. One that I haven't won yet, which sucks. Wish me luck!