Shopping
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He smiled slightly as I stared at all the different cots that were available. I was amazed that there was such a wide variety in such a lot of different colours, with loads in different woods but also some that were pink, blue and yellow.
Some of the cots looked expensive and I was still worried I would bankrupt him by just getting all the stuff he wanted me to choose for her such as blankets and teddies and lots and lots of clothing.
I didn't want to spend too much but I wanted my daughter to get more from life than I had got as I worried that people would think that I simply didn't care if I didn't provide the best for her.
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Although by her having Sirius as a father I knew, that like me, that she had everything as he gave us unconditional support despite her unconventional beginning of her life.
I couldn't remember anything before my sale into slavery but I knew that the love must have lacked if they were willing to sell me. That didn't make me feel valued and to be honest even now I knew that the only person I was really valued by was Sirius.
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Also, looking at how he had parented her over her first few days gave me little doubt about what kind of father he would be as he had almost constantly fussed over me insisting that I eat, sleep and rest, fussing like a mother hen every time that he thought that I overexerted myself. He also tended to hover over the baby whenever she was sleeping, looking at her anxiously to make sure that she was breathing properly.
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I knew without doubt that she was worthy of this support as she was part him but I still doubted if I was worthy after I had changed the life that was destined to be his.
I was never planned to be nothing but a nanny to his children in the future but this changed everything and I couldn't help but worry about the future.
Would the general wizarding world ever really accept our relationship, since I was ultimately a slave most of my life, or would Angel be ridiculed over my background?
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As if sensing my dark thoughts Sirius pulled me closer on his lap and I smiled as I felt his bated breath against my neck as well as the smile pressed against my skin.
"Stop getting stressed," he purred in my ear. "You will be my wife in mere months and no one will dare to ridicule you once you are my wife and Angel will be universally accepted as we are both pure bloods and I won't allow anything to hurt her."
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It had been strangely easy for me to transition from calling him Master to calling him, and sometimes thinking of him as, Sirius but Angel had the most to do with it and there were still moments, like when I first awoke, when I said master instead of Sirius.
It was that fact that seemed to irritate him as he said it was an irritant as he wanted me to not feeling like I owed him anything as he always said he owed me a lot as he took away my innocence and gave him a precious gift in return.
I knew that Angel needed a strong mother and I only felt myself slipping when she slept, wanting the protection that being his pleasure slave afforded me but with the freedom being his partner in parenthood afforded me.
I mostly thought of him as Sirius from the moment that I had felt the labour pains and thought I was dieing, desperate to harness any affection in a hope that he really saw me as the love of his life, as Cassandra instead of the whore, bitch or slut that he should see me as as a pleasure slave.
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"I like that one." He whispered, pointing to a rather demure dark wood one that was nestled beside two more gaudy ones and which was probably the most expensive on the page, bringing me right from my inner turmoil. "I think we should buy it with the high count cotton sheets and the sprung mattress. Don't worry about money as I have enough money to fund it properly and she deserves the best money can by, especially as I didn't look after you well enough during her pregnancy. Next time, with our second baby, I will do so much better and you won't be so desperately ill."
"We will have a second?" I asked, feeling great hope bubbling within me as I realised it might be more than duty that is keeping him with me. "You want more kids with me?"
He nodded and chuckled. "Of course."
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I leant up and kissed his lips and smiled as he stroked my cheek gently, looking at me with an admiration I didn't deserve but would be happy to embrace if offered to me. In the spirit of that I stroked an errant hair from his face and smile as his lip twitched as if he was trying not to laugh.
"I want you to be content." He suddenly revealed. "I need you and Angel to feel relaxed around me now that your mine not due to a contract but because you love me. You can always leave if you want to leave me and I'll finance your new life with our baby. If you want to go I'll make sure you always have the best."
"Do you want that?" I murmured. "Do you want me to leave you? Take your daughter and live away from you so that you can marry another woman more worthy of you or so she thinks that neither her nor I are good enough for you? You can do that but I don't want you to. Is that what you want?"
He simply shook his head and gave me a sizzling kiss that proved without doubt that I was desired and even, to my amazement, loved.
"You are very worthy of me and I desperately want you around but I worry that I am not good enough for you. I want to make you proud of me." He purred. "I want you to know that my life is now dedicated to you and Angel and that I will look after you."
I went to reply but was halted as our daughter started to cry quietly.
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"She is so beautiful." Remus purred to me as he stood next to me watching over my daughter while Sirius had left me to get some things from the wizarding shops. "She seems very healthy."
"The doctor said she was a miracle when he checked out my vitals. He said that she was a very good weight for a mother that was so thin and malnutritioned. I just wanted to crawl into a hole when he said that as I felt so stupid. I was so scared of new foods that I put Sirius' baby at risk. I feel so ashamed."
"You didn't know." Remus growled. "You love her. I see the way you both look at her and neither of you would have allowed you to sicken so far if you would have know that you could harm her. You are going to be a good mother to her and a good wife to Sirius. Don't worry about the past as it is best to look forward as I have little doubt Angel and Sirius have every intention of keeping you very busy."
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Remus' head whipped around in unison with mine as the door to the infirmary opened with a click that very distinctly alerted us to an arrival that obviously knew we were here as we were hidden away in a corner room that was rarely used, according to the nurse and Sirius as it was for serious medical issues.
Sirius had left to collect the baby furniture a few hours ago and without him I felt extremely vulnerable. But if it came to it I would fight, even kill someone, to keep custody of my child.
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Remus had my daughter in his arms with her fast asleep and held her tighter as we stared at Regulus and a couple of his friends, including the man who had tried to touch me at Sirius' house when he had first acquired me and he had been threatened back then by Sirius due to his conduct towards me but still thought it was a good idea to come here. Idiot!
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So the fact that the brother had arrived with his horrid friends put me on edge as I could see that they hated each other and that scared me as he could easily take that out on my baby girl.
"You shouldn't be here." I growled placing myself between them and my child that still lay in Remus' arms as he too moved to protect her with me, turning so it was harder to see her as she nestled against his hear, feeling as comforted by him as I wast. "Sirius has gone out to get some nursery equipment and said not to accept visitors until he returned and that definitely includes you and them."
He hated that man with a passion so I didn't really need to guess at his displeasure at the man close to me.
"You have no right to even speak his name, let alone bear his child and that you think that you are you good enough to marry my older brother is a joke. You aren't worthy to share my name. I will never call you a Black even if you marry him." Regulus growled. "You are nothing but a cheap little slut that got pregnant by him. You are worth very little and your daughter should be raised by a mother truly worthy of the Black name. Society will see that this is true and only accept her if you are out of the picture. You aren't worthy to be a mother to a baby with my family name and he should remove her from your care before the rot from you goes into her."
"Your brother disagrees." I snarled at him. "He'll love his daughter even if she did come from an inferior mother. He wants to marry me and raise her with me and even if he changes his mind I will not give her up. She is my baby and I will raise her for the rest of my life. She is mine and you can't have her, you bastard."
"Give me my niece, now! She should be with me, her proper family, now, not a whore and her watch dog." Regulus growled to Remus trying to move forward but still finding I was blocking his way, aggressively trying to stand my ground against him. I would fight to the death before I gave him my daughter. "She should be with someone responsible till my brother returns."
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"Cass is very responsible." Sirius growled as he stepped through the door, right at the ideal moment, before I had to fight to keep custody of my little girl. "She is also the mother of your niece and will be respected by you and the rest of society. We will marry, be happy and have more children. I don't care what you or those bastards say as this is my choice and no one, not even our parents, will dissuade me from this path as she was made for me and I love her."
"Marry her." he growled. "You must be insane. She will never be accepted by our society or by our parents. They are going to go mad about you marrying a muggle that used to be your slave."
"She isn't a muggle." Sirius countered, moving forward and taking his daughter from his friend. "She's a pure blood and because of this our daughter is also pure blood."
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"We will accept her." A voice rang out and as we all turned I stared at Sirius' parents and took a huge step back as Sirius turned to face them with one eye still trained on me, as if worried that I would run from the room at any moment. This situation was extremely tense and that really stressed me out. "After all she has been through to have your niece you should have more respect for her pain and struggle. You will never be able to get a good relationship with that tiny child, your niece, our flesh and blood, without accepting and respecting her mother."
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I felt Angel being pressed into my empty arms by Sirius through my complete numbness and it helped me relax again as I held her close and stepped behind Sirius to get the protection I needed.
I loved that even after the baby he still made me feel calm and soothed as I had really thought that when I was no longer his slave that I would no longer feel this sense of calmness and contentment from him.
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"Can I have a look at my granddaughter?" Sirius' mother ventured, taking a step towards me and trying to glance at Angel as she remained nestled in my arms, with me hoping that if I hid as much as possible of her body that she wouldn't feel the tension in my body. "I won't touch her I just want a look, please."
I nodded minutely and turned her in my arms so that her face was no longer obscured as much.
"Oh, she is beautiful." His mother gushed. "You did so well to give her to my son and to be so sane and well adjusted after such a bad birthing experience."
I hissed in reply and I took a step back startling her.
"I don't mean that you shouldn't raise her." She assured me with a gentle smile on her face. "I need you to agree to marry my son so that she will be accepted by society and so you can be protected. I know you love him as I have seen the way you have looked at him from the moment that you arrived in our household."
"It wasn't my choice to trap you." I whispered to Sirius. "I'm sorry that this being forced on you. You must believe that if I had known I was pregnant I would have told you earlier so we had more options."
"I know that you aren't too blame and I'm not sorry at all that this has happened." He quickly replied. "I don't regret Angel and I don't regret loving you. You have done nothing to be ashamed of and I love you and treasure you both. You didn't trap me as I have loved you since first sight and if I knew a baby would free you I would have deliberately done this to you. You aren't to blame and I hate that you won't attribute the blame to me, where it belongs."
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After a few minutes I could feel my courage return and I did the kindest thing I could do for everyone.
"You can hold her if you want." I whispered to his mother. "I know she is your first grandchild and you are itching for a cuddle."
She simply nodded then stared in amazement as I laid our child in her arms and took a step back to give her personal space as she admired her properly for the first time.
Looking around now that I felt safer again I realised that only his parents and Remus remained. His brother had obviously left and that felt great as I knew with his parents insisting on marriage it would definitely happen. I would be married and free, as would angel and I would never let anything happen to her. She wouldn't have the life I had.
Never for as long as either Sirius or I lived would she be taken from us.