A/N: So this is GintokiXOkita story. It's basically just fluff with a bit of mischief :3 I hope you like it!
When two Sadists get together, it's Better to just Run Away
Sougo and Gintoki had been dating ever since that fateful night on Valentine's Day. Basically, Sougo demanded that Gintoki had sex with him and after a few pointless arguments, Sougo got his wish. The two dealt with Shinpachi's lectures and Kagura's endless teasing until the brats finally got bored with them and moved on. Sougo is currently out on patrol with Hijikata. "Ne, Hijikata-san?" Sougo said breaking the silence between the two. The two act civil towards each other at times. Plus Sougo was feeling lazy today and didn't really feel like expending any more energy than he had to, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to let Hijikata have a peaceful day.
"What?" Hijikata asked as he lit another cigarette.
"If you keep smoking, you'll eventually end up being killed by me." Sougo said looking at him.
"As if I'd let you, you damn bastard!" Hijikata yelled, almost dropping his cigarette. Hijikata then started mumbling to himself. Sougo swore he heard Hijikata saying something about Danna.
"What was that, Hijikata-san?" Sougo asked pointing his sword at the base of the Vice Commander's neck. He wasn't going to stand by and let Hijikata insult his boyfriend.
"What the hell!? I didn't say anything!" Hijikata said glaring at Sougo.
"Okay." Sougo said before putting his sword away. The two eventually made their way back to the Shinsengumi compound and gave their report to Kondo. Hijikata asked to speak with Kondo alone, meaning Sougo got kicked out of the office. It really annoyed him, so he decided to eavesdrop.
"Kondo-san, this is getting out of hand!" Hijikata complained. "He almost took my head off because I mentioned something about that stupid perm-head!" This wasn't the first time Hijikata had complained about that. Sougo thought scowling. Why couldn't that mayo bastard just leave them alone?
"Toshi, you should really learn to keep your thoughts to yourself." Kondo said sighing. He was probably getting tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. "Sougo has made it clear that he wants to be with Yorozuya. So we must respect his wishes. If you don't like it, take it up with those two." Sougo peeked in just in time to see a shudder go through the Vice Commander's body and smirked.
"N-No, it's fine." Hijikata said nervously. Sougo decided he wanted to mess with Hijikata and thought maybe Gintoki would like to help. Since he had the rest of the afternoon off, he decided to go see his boyfriend. He waited for Kondo and Hijikata to finish their 'talk' and then told them he'd be going out and he'd be back later. Sougo made his way down the familiar streets of Kabuki-cho. It has been awhile since he was able to see his boyfriend. It's weird because any other time, Sougo would bump into him no matter where he went. At the Yorozuya apartment, Sougo went up the stairs and knocked. No one answered.
"Oi, Danna, China! Anyone home?" He called, but still no one came to the door. "Che." Where was his boyfriend?
"Excuse me, Okita-sama." Sougo turned his head and saw the green haired robot that works for Otose down stairs. "Gintoki-sama and the other two are out on a job right now. Do you want to leave them a message?"
"No, I'll come back later." Sougo said sighing.
"As you wish." She said before turning around and going back into the bar. Damn. He could've asked if she knew what kind of job they were on, but it was too late for that now. Sougo walked around Kabuki-cho for another thirty minutes before deciding to head back to the compound. On his way back to his room, he noticed a familiar perm-head poking out from the roof. Did he seriously go out for nothing? So much for not expending more energy than he needed to... Sougo got onto the roof and noticed that China girl and Shinpachi were nowhere to be seen.
"Ah, Sougo." The natural perm-head greeted, putting down the mallet he had in his hands. It looks like he's fixing the roof. Sougo was very adamant about Gintoki calling him Sougo and NOT Soichiro-kun and it looks like it's finally paid off. "Do you have the rest of the afternoon off?"
"Yeah, where's the other two?" Sougo asked curiously as he made his way over to Gintoki.
"Well, those two are off doing a different job. Said fixing roofs were boring." Gintoki said rolling his eyes. "They're currently chasing a runaway cat all over town."
"If you ask me, I'd rather fix roofs." Sougo said taking a seat next to Gintoki.
"That's what I said." Gintoki said shaking his head before pulling Sougo close to him. "I'd come and visit you, but the jobs have been picking up and that old hag won't leave me alone about the rent."
"It can't be helped." Sougo said snuggling into the older man's chest. He missed being this close to Gintoki. "So, Hijikata-san complained again."
"Oh? Did he insult me again?" Gintoki asked resting his chin on the top of Sougo's head.
"Yeah. He knows the consequences and yet he still does it." Sougo said feeling a bit sleepy. He was comfortable and using Gintoki as a pillow didn't sound too bad.
"So what did you have in mind?" Gintoki asked curiously.
"What do you mean?" Sougo asked momentarily confused. He forgot his reason for looking for his boyfriend in the first place.
"You want to mess with Hijikata, don't you?" Gintoki asked sounding amused.
"Yeah..." Sougo mumbled yawning. "Kondo-san said if he had a problem with us, then he could come to us."
"There's no way he'd do that." Gintoki said with a snort.
"That's why I wanted to mess with him." Sougo said removing his head from Gintoki's chest and looking at Gintoki.
"Okay, let's talk about it more after I'm done here. I've got a few more tiles to fix and it should be done." Gintoki said before pressing his lips against Sougo's. Sougo returned the kiss and didn't want to stop. Gintoki pulled away, causing Sougo to pout a little. "We can finish this later. I can tell you're about to fall asleep. So go sleep and I'll come find you when I'm done."
"Okay." Sougo said before getting up. He told Gintoki he'd see him later and went to his room. He didn't know why he always got a little sleepy when he's with Gintoki like that, but he liked it. He thought before deciding to take a nap. When he woke up, Gintoki was laying next to him and softly stroking his hair. "How long was I asleep?"
"I'd say a few hours at most." Gintoki said with a small smile on his face.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" Sougo asked curiously. He wasn't mad. How could he be when he just woke up to his boyfriend stroking his hair?
"It's not very often that I get to see you sleep." Gintoki said with a shrug. Sougo finally sat up.
"What about the other two?" Sougo asked curiously.
"Kagura decided she was going to take Sadaharu and stay the night at Shinpachi's." Gintoki said shrugging.
"Good, let's go to your place then." Sougo said smirking. He didn't want Hijikata to find out what they were planning. Gintoki nodded and it wasn't long before the two set out to the Yorozuya apartment. They managed to run into Hijikata on the way out and gave him a wave, while smirking at him. Hijikata freaked out and ran away basically. Sougo was surprised to see the sun already starting to set. He knew he'd slept for a few hours but still... He looked over at his boyfriend, who seemed a bit lost in thought. "What are you thinking about?" Sougo asked him curiously as he put his hand in Gintoki's.
"I was thinking of what to make for dinner." Gintoki answered. "But I have to get the ingredients first."
"How about Oyakodon?" Sougo suggested.
"Oi, how skilled at cooking do you think Gin-san is?" Gintoki asked with a deadpanned look.
"You made a great meal last time." Sougo said not seeing a problem. "Besides, I heard the dish is really simple to make."
"Alright, I'll try it out." Gintoki said sighing. The two spent thirty or so minutes getting the ingredients and finally made it back to Gintoki's place. Gintoki set to work in the kitchen while Sougo watched. He could get used to this life. He definitely liked to watch Gintoki cook. Maybe he should get Gintoki an apron for his birthday. Sougo smirked to himself. He should get him two aprons. One of them is going to be a special one that Gintoki can only use around him. "What's going on in that head of yours?" Gintoki asked noticing Sougo's expression. He had just got the rice going.
"Oh nothing," Sougo said grinning.
"Right," Gintoki said looking uneasy. "So what did you have in mind to mess with Oogushi-kun?"
"I thought about putting laxatives in his mayonnaise again." Sougo said thoughtfully. Gintoki shuddered.
"I was a victim to that too, you know." Gintoki muttered.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't expect him to put it all over your parfait." Sougo said apologetically.
"It wouldn't have been the first time someone's ruined my parfait before." Gintoki grumbled. "What if we go with that plan, and then put out of order signs on all of the toilets?"
"Oh? I like that idea." Sougo said smirking. Gintoki had the broth going and it was starting to smell really good. "See? I told you it was a simple dish."
"Yeah, yeah." Gintoki said shaking his head, before he began preparing the chicken. "Kagura is going to be pissed when she finds out."
"I'll make sure there aren't any leftovers." Sougo said determined. If it meant that it would make China girl upset, then he would do it.
"Oi, oi, you're not the one who has to live with her." Gintoki said scowling. "I should probably make her a proper dinner tomorrow. Maybe she won't be as pissed." Sougo shrugged. He didn't care if he did that, since Gintoki made him a meal first. About forty five minutes later, the food was done and ready to be eaten. "So are we going to put laxatives in his mayonnaise then?"
"Yeah, we can start tomorrow if you don't have any jobs tomorrow." Sougo said as the two ate their dinner. "Mm... this is amazing, Gintoki."
"Thanks, I tried my best." Gintoki said smiling. Gintoki said he'd call Sougo by his name if Sougo did the same in return. In his mind, Gintoki will always be his Danna. The next day, there were some leftovers enough for one person, so Gintoki let Sougo take them. Gintoki did get a job that would last him until the afternoon, so Sougo had to wait before putting his plan in motion. As he was leaving, he saw China girl and Shinpachi heading towards the apartment with that giant dog of theirs. He would never say this out loud, but he was jealous that they got to live with his boyfriend and he didn't. He just wanted Gintoki all to himself. One thing at a time, he told himself. That day will come eventually. The day went by a slowly as Sougo had to go out on patrol with Hijikata again today and he was itching to set his plan into motion. There were several opportunities where he could've put his plan into motion, but he had to be patient and wait for Gintoki. Finally the time came and Gintoki was at the compound.
Sougo had started a bit early by putting the signs up. He told the other men to keep it a secret from Hijikata, Kondo, and Yamazaki. Yamazaki and Kondo would most likely tell Hijikata about it and Hijikata would've gotten suspicious and the plan would've been ruined. The plan was for Gintoki to distract Hijikata while Sougo put the laxative in the mayonnaise. "What do you want, you natural perm-headed bastard?" Hijikata said scowling at him.
"What? Gin-san can't just come and say hi every once in awhile?" Gintoki asked feigning hurt.
"No, you can't!" Hijikata growled. "Every time you come here, something bad always happens to me!"
"What? Not every time. You're over exaggerating." Gintoki said rolling his eyes. Hijikata was already getting angry. It didn't take long to keep Hijikata distracted and Sougo had put the laxatives in the mayonnaise. Gintoki and Sougo left Hijikata to his own devices and had to wait for him to use it. They watched from across the lunch room in anticipation. He put every ounce of mayonnaise on his food and then they watched slowly as Hijikata's expression on his face changed from his normal expression to an alarmed one.
"It worked!" Sougo said smirking. And then Sougo and Gintoki followed Hijikata around the compound as he tried to find a working bathroom. They gave up on following him when he left the compound. There was no way they were going to follow him around Kabuki-cho. "Well that was satisfying."
"Yeah, if you plan to do it again, let me know." Gintoki said smirking.
"Don't worry. I will." Sougo said resting his head on Gintoki's arm. They were back in Sougo's room. It was starting to get late and it was time for Gintoki to go home. They said their good night and soon Sougo was going to sleep.