Disclaimer: Candy Candy and all characters belong to Kyoko Mizuki, images to Yumiko Igarashi and anime to Toei Animation.
Note: This chapter, based on the manga version and the Candy Candy Final Story, is similar to the previous chapter, which contains Candy's journal entries in chronological order (sometimes she has more than one entry on the same day). This will be the last chapter that I will write solely from Candy's perspective.
Once again, my heartfelt appreciation goes to my beta readers for their feedback and suggestions.
-Ms Puddleglum
Chapter 14: Journal (Part 2)
When someone knocked on my front door after I had finished writing my letter to my mothers, my heart jumped and missed a beat. Who else would come this early in the morning? So Albert must be here, and I was right!
I was overjoyed to see him standing by the door with a beaming grin on his face. This time he didn't bring Pouppe along though. Did he somehow figure out that I wanted to see him today on my day off? Or had he planned to give me a surprise? I was too happy when I saw him that I forgot to ask.
Well, the answer doesn't really matter to me now. I'm glad he has come to see me for whatever reasons.
Yet I fought the urge to throw my arms around his neck, realizing that he was still standing in the hallway and my neighbors might see us. When I took a step backward to make way for him, he quickly stepped through the threshold and caught my upper arms, pulling me into a loving hug. In no time I wrapped my arms around his torso, leaning my cheek on his wide chest, and he closed the door with his foot. We continued to hold each other in a tight embrace, still standing near the door as if we didn't want to waste any time.
After I don't know how long, I gently withdrew myself from him and bolted the door behind him. He rolled his eyes jestingly and told me to relax because he could probably fight off any intruder.
"Didn't you tell me that I had rescued Terry from some gangsters in London without getting hurt myself?" he brought this up casually with a smirk on his face.
I was a bit shocked then that Albert could mention Terry's name with ease. I pretended that I didn't notice the change because I didn't want him to feel self-conscious about that at all. So I quickly changed the topic by asking him whether he had had his breakfast yet.
I remarked with the matter-of-fact tone, "You know I can cook for you, Albert."
He raised his eyebrows teasingly before he thanked me, telling me that he had eaten before he came. Then, after he knew that I had had my breakfast as well, he invited me to go downstairs with him because he had a surprise for me outside the building. Another surprise?
Before we left, he had warned me that the morning air was cool, so I put on an extra layer of clothes just in case.
Well, it was a surprise indeed. I had heard of bicycles before but I had never tried one myself. He told me that it took him around twenty minutes or so to arrive at my apartment building riding on this bicycle. I asked Albert when he learned how to ride one, and he said he didn't know that he could until he tried. I guess he must have learned it long time ago before his train accident in Italy and the skills stuck with him.
I asked if he had bought it with the money I had returned to him earlier. Shaking his head, he said that this bicycle was rented from his landlord because his son had gone to college and would not use it in the meantime.
Then Albert suggested that we go for a ride around the nearby park on this bicycle. He taught me how to position myself on a small seat right behind his and helped me secure my arms around his waist when he sat himself down. Once he started pedaling, I held him firmly in order not to fall off. It was exciting, and the feeling of wind streaming past my face and hair was priceless. Besides, I liked to be close to him like this, watching his swiftly moving legs and his shiny blond hair dancing in the wind.
While we were enjoying the ride, we ran into Dr. Martin, who was taking his stroll around the park. Thus, Albert turned the handlebar to ride the bicycle toward him. When we stopped right beside Dr. Martin, he just waved us away, teasing with a bright grin on his face, "Albert, don't waste your time on me. Have fun with Candy."
Shortly after that, Dr. Martin chortled out loud and continued his stroll, bidding us goodbye. Albert stayed motionless until I informed him that I had already told Dr. Martin about us. He spun around to face me, giving me such a tender smile and asking in a whisper, "You have?"
At that moment, our faces were so close that I felt his warm breath caressing my face, and I could see every detail of his finely sculpted face under the sun, the twinkling blue eyes, the perfect nose and lips, and the firm jaw line.
He was staring at me as well, scrutinizing my face, which caused my breathing to quicken. I had a feeling that he wanted to touch me when he raised his hand towards my face, but his hand stopped in the mid-air. He breathed out a sigh and suggested, "Candy, let's go back to your place now on foot."
Inevitably, a thought crept into my mind, what is troubling him?
He tilted the bicycle slightly such that I could easily slide off. After he got off himself, he simply pushed it along while I walked with him side by side, heading back to my apartment.
Meanwhile, he explained to me that something just dawned on him after we had run into Dr. Martin earlier. We should act discreetly in the neighborhood because most people still believed that we were brother and sister. He was absolutely right! How come I had never thought of that? What a relief to me at that instant! So he wasn't troubled after all.
Then he casually asked me if I would like to learn to ride a bicycle one day. I earnestly replied, "Of course I would love to!"
"You can't believe how thrilling it is to speed down a slope, Candy, but it's too dangerous for two of us to do that on a single bicycle."
Therefore, he promised that he would teach me how to ride a bicycle so that we could go riding together. He even suggested that we go to visit Peter and Judy in the countryside. But he would need to find a smaller one for me that was suitable for my size.
That's right. Without a car, it would be difficult for us to visit them. I wonder how long it will take us to go to that beautiful countryside with bicycles though.
While we were having sandwiches for lunch at my place, I reminded Albert that he had promised to go to Pony's home with me one day. Before he could respond, I already began talking about how wonderful it was to spend summer days at Pony's Home. The days were long and we could enjoy ourselves outside even in the evenings.
"If we get tired of climbing my favorite trees, we can sprawl on the grass to relax in the shade, watching the clear blue sky and fluffy white clouds between the boughs. There will be many bright-colored flowers everywhere on the hill, so we can easily spot beautiful butterflies fluttering around us."
I kept talking incessantly, and all the while he was listening to me patiently with a fascinated expression on his face. To conclude, I told him that I knew how much he loved nature, so he definitely would love that place as much as I did, if not more.
Only when I stopped, he spoke up, seemingly excited about my proposal, "How about we watch sunrise or sunset together, Candy?"
Why was I surprised that he was able to read my mind? What he said was in fact part of my plan too. Then I told him that I had written to Miss Pony and Sister Lane already, showing him the envelope in my pocket.
"So are we able to go together before the end of summer? It will be nice if we can spend one to two nights there at Pony's Home," I asked him enthusiastically.
He gently tapped my nose and said, an amused smile tilting his lips, "Candy, I'd appreciate if you have asked me first before you wrote the letter."
I simpered, "I'm sorry, Albert. I thought you had already promised to go with me. Remember when you took me to the countryside?"
"Yes I remember that, but we haven't fixed the dates yet..." He paused smilingly when he saw me looking at him, slightly embarrassed.
Before long, he chuckled while shaking his head. "Never mind, Candy. Although it's past mid-June now, we still have plenty of time before the end of summer." Then he made a promise that he would check with the main chef as soon as possible when he would be able to take a few days off for this trip.
After our simple lunch, I urged him to relax and told him that I would do the clean up myself at the kitchen. After some protests, he finally conceded, although he insisted he would walk around my place to see if he could do other chores for me. While I was washing the dishes, he startled me by embracing me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his face into the crook of my shoulder. I turned off the faucet right away because I didn't want any possible distraction.
How I loved him holding me like that, enveloped in his tenderness. Listening to his strong heartbeat, I felt secure and content in his presence. Although my hands were wet, I was sure he wouldn't mind a bit that I placed them on his. Sometime later, he lifted his head slightly and spoke to my ear in his soft voice, telling me that he was very moved to see his portraits pinned on the wall in my bedroom and the fact that I had invited him to go to Pony's Home together meant a lot to him. He would love to visit the place where I had spent my childhood, and it was his honor to meet with my foster mothers.
Having said that, he started showering my cheek with light kisses; the sensations were slightly different this time because he had shaved, but his kisses made me weak in my knees nevertheless. I was glad that he was holding me tight from behind. With my heart racing, I knew I was melting in his arms again.
When he stopped kissing me, he gently turned me around, his lips curving in an amorous smile. With his eyes unwavering on mine, he told me that my impromptu visit yesterday had filled him with high spirits such that he had no problems ignoring the bantering from the restaurant staff afterwards. I couldn't help smiling while listening to him even though embarrassment was singeing through me, wondering what the staff had said about us.
After a brief pause, Albert told me that Daniel was the one who stopped them from teasing him further.
"Really? What did he do?" I was very curious.
"You want to know now?" He winked at me teasingly, his eyes laughing.
"Come on, Albert!"
Smirking, he answered playfully, "I will tell you tomorrow so that you have something to look forward to."
I could hardly believe my ears. "Fine!" I snorted and pretended to be angry at him, crossing my arms and pouting, but he leaned down and very softly kissed the spot right below my brow bone, causing me to close my eyes. I was hopelessly softened by his intimate action, though I strived not to show my newfound weakness.
The next thing I felt was the warmth of his hands on my shoulders, drawing me close to him. I could no longer feign anger at him, so I responded by resting my cheek and my palms on his chest. I still had my eyes closed, enjoying his familiar scent and the warmth radiating from his body. A while later, he stated after a brief sigh, "Candy, it was time for me to go home to get ready for work."
"So soon?" Disappointment was clear in my voice.
He kept his silence, one hand stroking my upper back fondly and the other hand lacing through the ends of my ponytail. I figured that this was my chance to convey my feelings in words, so I lifted my head to look at him, but I was astonished to find that he had also lowered his head for some reasons. Our faces were so close that the tips of our noses almost brushed! I was afraid to move because my lips were just inches from his. A wild shiver flew through my body, my heart pounding furiously.
He looked just as astonished too. Feeling each other's breathing, we gazed into each other's eyes in silence for a while. When he held my face, I closed my eyes as my response. I felt his soft breath on my lips just before he kissed me on the corner of my mouth. This time, his warm lips lingered for a few seconds, and I reacted by doing the same to him concurrently. Without stubble, his skin felt smooth under my lips.
Then he pulled away and gently loosened my grip. Wondering if he reined himself in at the last moment, I quickly opened my eyes to look into his, searching for clues. Was I over-sensitive? Was something wrong that he had to hold back?
Yet he appeared fine to me, oblivious to my inner thoughts. With his lips curling up into a tender smile, he said, "See you tomorrow evening at Happy Clinic, Candy."
Right after that, he turned on his heel and started for the door, as though he were in a real hurry.
Although unsettling thoughts were consuming my mind, I followed him down the stairs nonetheless. As we waved our hands to each other, I saw him riding away on his bicycle. Since I got the letter for Miss Pony and Sister Lane with me, I went to mail it before I came back home.
Right now, as I'm writing this down, I still can't shake off the feeling that something is troubling Albert or he is hiding something from me. Does he have doubts about our relationship? I have determined to find it out from him tomorrow. After all, he was the one who has proposed that we share our problems from now on.
=o=o=o=
Morning has not yet broken the dark sky, and I am so tired after the long, restless night. Having multiple nightmares in one night is quite draining.
Long after dinner yesterday, when I was almost ready for bed, I heard some loud, impatient knocks on my front door. Could it be Albert again? I thought anxiously as I swung the door open to find Archie standing there.
Looking very distressed, he broke the bad news to me. They had just received a telegram from France, informing Great Aunt Elroy that a fire broke out in the middle of the night and Stear had volunteered to rescue his fellow pilots. He was injured as a result and was now being treated in a field hospital.
I asked Archie how exactly and seriously Stear was injured, he said that he had already told me everything he knew because the telegram didn't provide the details unfortunately. Then he said that Great Aunt Elroy had called an emergency meeting to discuss what we should do next, so he urged me to go to the mansion with him.
"But Archie, did Great Aunt Elroy ask for me?" I questioned cautiously.
He shook his head and stated, "No, but you're part of the family, Candy. I don't see why you can't join us. Besides, Patty needs your support too."
Following that, I hurriedly got changed and left with him. During the ride, Archie informed me that his parents would rush back as soon as possible as well, but for the time being, the meeting would be just us and the Leagans.
When we arrived, Patty's head was buried in her hands. Annie was trying her best to console her, her arm wrapping around Patty's back. I was glad I didn't see Neil, but Eliza was there inevitably. She sat on a luxurious sofa while keeping a distance from the other two ladies, yawning most of the time. Her expression was, forgive me to say that, impatient and nonchalant. When she saw me coming, after throwing her jeering glance at me, she remarked, "Who gave you the permission to step into this house?" The sarcastic tone was evident.
I deliberately ignored her condescending question and went straight to Patty and Annie. To my surprise, when Patty lifted her head to greet me, her eyeglasses were smeared by her tears, but she was not crying at all, as if her tears were dried up already. Yet she looked devastated, which really worried me. I'd rather she cry as usual and let her emotions out.
I believed no words could console Patty now. I lowered myself down next to her and Archie sat beside Annie. All four of us were holding our hands firmly together in silence, as though we were keeping our vigils for Stear.
When I was inwardly praying for Stear, Great Aunt Elroy stormed in with Mrs. Leagan by her side. Not so surprisingly, Great Aunt was enraged to see me there.
"Why are you here, Candice?" she spoke with utter contempt.
Before I had a chance to reply, Archie said, "Great Aunt, I was the one who brought her here."
His words led to some harsh reprimand from her, and I felt sorry for him. Then glaring at me in exasperation, she started blaming the accident on me as if I really had the power to bring bad luck all the way to France, like I was some kind of a witch. As much as I found that ridiculous, I suppressed my urge to protest at her insults and kept my silence to pay my respect to her. This was definitely not the right time for any more arguments.
Yet Archie still tried to defend me, "But Great Aunt, Candy is Uncle William's adoptive daughter after all, and I thought-"
"That's exactly the problem!" Great Aunt Elroy interrupted him angrily with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Ever since her adoption, the curse has come upon the family! Now Uncle William is... he is..."
Her face remained stoic and brave at first, but within seconds I could see her chin quiver as she stammered. It was obvious to us that she was hesitating and couldn't finish whatever she wanted to say about Uncle William. At that moment, my heart constricted believing something dreadful must have happened to the generous old man who had been so kind to me all these years. Only then I became aware that George was not present among us, so was he somewhere attending Uncle William now?
Then the next thing that happened drew audible gasps from everyone in the room. Great Aunt Elroy looked as if she was about to faint and before we knew it she was collapsing as Mrs. Leagan tried to catch her fall. During the commotion that ensued, Mrs. Leagan beckoned the butler to call for the family doctor at once while she helped Great Aunt to sit down on an exquisite looking chair.
Fortunately, Great Aunt remained conscious, though seemingly having a hard time breathing. At that moment, I truly sympathized with her and somehow felt her pain, running this family with so many things on her plate when people at her age was supposed to enjoy life and take it easy. She looked so old and feeble to me then, and I wasn't so scared of her anymore. At the same time, I wondered if something happened to both her and Uncle William, who else was capable to take charge in the family?
As if things were not bad enough, Eliza suddenly spoke up, accusing me of killing Anthony. "So who else is on your list...?"
Little did she expect that her mean words had touched a nerve and she was immediately cut off by Great Aunt Elroy's loud, stern voice.
"Enough nonsense, Eliza!"
Eliza instantly apologized, slapping a hand over her mouth nervously. It was a pain that she had to remind us all of Anthony's tragic death while we were all worried about Stear's conditions. Yet, Great Aunt Elroy, still panting heavily, shifted her fierce glare back to me and severely warned me that I wasn't allowed to set foot in this house again unless I was summoned by her.
"Now, Candice, we have enough troubles and I want you to leave right now."
"Let me take her home," offered Archie right away, but Great Aunt forbade him to go.
"You must stay, Archie. Our meeting will start after she leaves," Great Aunt commanded with determination.
He looked reluctant, contemplating the dilemma. Patty and Annie were now crying for me. Their weak hearts could not stand the sight of their best friend being humiliated in such a way. Deep in my heart, I told myself I should simply forget about being a part of this family. Great Aunt Elroy had just made it clear to everybody that I wasn't. Take Patty and Annie for example, being girlfriends of the Cornwell brothers, they could freely reside in this mansion for as long as they liked, and yet, I, as the legal daughter of Uncle William, wasn't even welcome as a guest.
"Don't worry. I can go home myself," I said, keeping my voice even and casual.
Archie responded worriedly, "It's so dark out there, Candy. I can't let you go home yourself!"
Just then, the butler returned to inform Mrs. Leagan that the doctor should arrive shortly. Then Mrs. Leagan instructed him to arrange a chauffeur to send me home.
I knew it was time for my departure, so I respectfully bowed my head to bid Great Aunt goodnight. She disregarded me with coldness, murmuring something like, "Go now." Thus, I trailed after the butler in silence, and Archie, Patty and Annie followed me to the hallway.
"The meeting should start soon, so let's split here," I remarked, trying to put up my usual smiley face.
Then I told Annie and Patty not to worry about me at all. After I hugged them both, Patty told me that she was waiting for her parents' consent so that she could go to France to visit Stear. I gave her another warm hug, telling her that if I were her, I would definitely go. She nodded her head with tears in her eyes.
Archie then suggested the ladies stay and offered to escort me to the car. Since it was just the two of us, I asked Archie where Neil was. He told me that since he had promised me to pretend that he knew nothing about what Neil had done to me, he could not ask too much about Neil either. The only information he got was that Neil hadn't come home for a few days already, but he had contacted Great Aunt Elroy with some excuse that he needed to be alone for a while.
Then I asked Archie whether he knew what had happened to Uncle William. He shook his head and said he had heard various rumours, but Great Aunt Elroy had dismissed them all. Yet Archie knew that George hadn't been in Chicago for a long time. Last time he heard George was in London, attending some family business. Therefore, I believed it would take some time before my letter to Uncle William could get to George's hands.
When we reached one of the family cars, I told Archie that as much as I was worried about Stear, I was even more concerned about him. He had to act strong in front of the others even though he might be depressed and worried inside. Archie remained silent for a while, and at last he told me what bothered him most earlier was Great Aunt's bitter attitude toward me. He couldn't comprehend her violent prejudice against me even at times like this when family members were supposed to support each other.
I simply shrugged my shoulders as my response, telling him that I was used to this kind of offensive treatment from her. Then, I gave him an excuse that I was tired and he should go back to support Patty and his family for me. After he kissed my hand, he left with a dejected look. I hated seeing him so forlorn, but looking at his back, I could tell that fatigue had been etched into his limbs.
When I finally got to my bed later, I was actually surprised that I could drift off to sleep. However, I had many dreadful nightmares, and most of which involved Great Aunt Elroy, and some Stear, Eliza, Neil and even Anthony. What a horrible night! I decided to get off the bed before daybreak.
Right now, as I'm jotting down my feelings in my journal, I'm also playing the Candy Happy Maker, which Stear had made for me before my trip to New York. Stear, you're such a brave soul, and it's my honor to be your friend and cousin! I sincerely pray that you will recover soon and return to us in good shape one day!
When I will meet with Albert later this evening, I must tell him about Stear's accident and what happened last night. I really want to talk to him because he understands me more than anyone else.
=o=o=o=
Since Albert told me to wear something casual, I believed it was his polite way to tell me not to wear a dress. So I picked my overalls and the green checkered shirt that came with matching ribbons, the birthday present he had given me.
Dr. Martin kept complaining that I was absentminded today. Luckily, we weren't very busy at all. Well, I blamed it on being sleep deprived, and most of all, I could hardly wait to see my love again. There were so many things that I wanted to talk to him about.
Albert arrived earlier than I had expected, looking smart with his usual blue jacket. He didn't bring Pouppe with him, but he carried a picnic basket in his arm. He said he wanted to chat with Dr. Martin in private first, so I excused myself and went outside to take a walk. Was it something to do with his amnesia? Why didn't he want me to know? Perhaps I was right that he was hiding something from me then?
Before long, he came to find me in the park. "Candy, are you ready to go?"
He intentionally didn't ride his bicycle this time because he wanted to go to the Nature Park with me on foot. Yes this was yet another common interest of ours. We were both fond of walking.
"Candy, thank you for wearing this green shirt today," commented Albert with glee.
"I'm glad that you noticed it. If you remember, I wore the same shirt last time we went to this park too," I remarked cheerfully.
He then gave me a smile back that seemed so genuine and so sweet. "How can I forget? We went on your birthday, right?"
"Correct!" I uttered, nodding at him with a wide grin. "So what do you have in the basket?" I asked curiously.
"Lots of delicious finger foods that I have learned recently in the kitchen. I hope you will like them." He lightly stroked the tip of my nose; while he spoke, an amused smile was on his lips.
"Albert, you know I've always loved whatever you cook!" I meant it with all my heart.
"Glad to hear that, Candy," he said, grinning at me. "So do you want to know what Daniel did to stop people from harassing me?"
I shook my head with exaggeration. "Guess what? You don't have to tell me now," I answered, trying to sound indifferent.
He let out an amused laugh, but he went on anyway. "Well, Daniel didn't really do much, but what he said to them seemed effective. I don't remember his exact wordings, but he said something like 'Leave Albert alone now. Can't you tell that he is in love? If you make fun of him again, that means you're jealous.'"
"So you have told Daniel about us?"
To my surprise, Albert said no. "Daniel has probably figured it out himself. After all, he knows my feelings all along." Then he paused to give me a quick glance. His smile faded from his face.
I averted my eyes from him and whispered shyly, "I guess you have confided in him before?"
To answer my question, he gave me a summary of his conversation with Daniel the day after my birthday dinner. Back then Daniel could already sense that Albert had strong feelings for me, but Albert told Daniel that I only regarded him as my big brother and nothing more. Though Daniel offered his help, Albert had no hope that I would see him differently.
I lowered my eyes and fell silent at his words. Then, he suddenly grasped my hand with his, giving me his brightest smile, and said, "We are safe now."
At first, I had no clue what he meant, but he gestured me to look around the area. When I did, I noticed that we were quite far from our neighborhood already, so that meant nobody would recognize us here. Therefore, I smiled back at him and intertwined my fingers with his long ones. Somehow I felt relieved. At least, he didn't seem to have doubts about my feelings for him. Yet my instinct told me that something must have been bothering him.
Soon after that, we arrived at our destination. As the sun began to set, we tried to find the tallest tree to climb so that we could enjoy the magnificent sunset at the highest spot possible. When we finally got to that particular tree, I felt like climbing with bare feet. Unable to believe his ears, he asked, "Won't it hurt, Candy?"
"I dare you to try this too, Albert!" I threw my challenge at him with a wide grin and started climbing without waiting for him. As I reached the topmost bough, I couldn't help but watch the breathtakingly beautiful, purplish red and orange sky in awe. Dazed, I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, which startled me and practically threw me off balance. Luckily Albert's firm grip on my shoulder kept me safe.
Then we sat side by side, admiring the glorious sunset together. Albert's left leg formed an upside-down V above the branch and his right leg was dangling off the branch, just like mine. Sitting on his right hand side, I couldn't stop myself from comparing my legs to his, and then I exclaimed, "Albert, your legs are so long and your feet so big!"
Clearly amused, he regarded me for a while before he chuckled. "Silly Candy!"
Then he informed me that the main chef had approved his plan to take a few days off during the week as long as Albert would give him one-week notice in advance.
"Candy, are you planning to stay for two nights at Pony's Home? Since I get Mondays off, we can leave on Monday morning and come back on Wednesday night for example, but you might want to double check this with Dr. Martin first."
My light mood was promptly replaced with a heavy one. I shook my head slowly and said in a sad tone, "Unfortunately, I'm not sure when we will be able to go now."
Albert was quite perplexed by my sudden change of plans, so he asked with concern, "What's wrong?"
I gulped as I met his surprised gaze, trying to gather my thoughts together. Appearing apprehensive, he put his right arm around me and pulled me close to him. I began pouring my heart out to him about my miseries last night, including Stear's accident, the way Great Aunt Elroy had treated me, and my subsequent nightmares. I had never seen Albert looking so gloomy before.
While I was talking, tears spilled down my cheeks unexpectedly. I didn't know why that happened because I hadn't shed a single tear even when I was practically being kicked out by Great Aunt last night. I believed I had dropped my defense when I was with Albert. There was no need to put up a strong face in front of him.
He remained quiet and attentive while listening to me. When he saw my tears, he gave me a gentle squeeze to guide me to lean on him. Needless to say, I was more than willing to comply with his loving gesture. Leaning myself against his strong frame, I nestled my head on his shoulder. It felt great, just like last time when I had fallen asleep next to him near the lake when we had been stranded out in the middle of nowhere.
"On top of that, Albert, I've also discovered that Neil was not the one who ensured that no hospitals in Chicago would ever hire me as a nurse." Noting his astounded expression, I gave him the details of the conversation between Eliza and Great Aunt Elroy that I happened to eavesdrop just a few days ago.
Afterwards, when he was certain that I had finished talking, he pulled me closer and placed a gentle kiss on my head. He said in his deep voice, "Candy, thank you for sharing your 'sandwich' with me."
That was the secret word only known to both of us. Of course he meant that I was sharing my anguish with him. Then I took this chance to follow up, "How about you, Albert? Are you going to share yours with me now?"
He tore his gaze away and suggested that we go eat by the small lake inside this park. Though he was smiling at me when he was climbing down the tree, the thought that he was avoiding my question perplexed me.
Yet he helped me get down from the tree and held my hand all the way to the lake, which was actually not very far from us. Once he laid a big picnic blanket on the grass, we sat down together, enjoying the delicious finger foods from the basket while watching the ducks floating by or the squirrels chasing one another up and down the trees, like the time when I filled him in with all the things I knew about his past in front of this very lake. Back then it was dark, just like right now. Also, there were nobody else present and our only companions were the birds and squirrels on the trees surrounding us.
While I was patiently waiting for Albert to speak up, I stole quick peeks at him, his expression pensive. He was quiet for so long, staring blankly at the lake, as if he was lost in thoughts.
Later, his deep voice dispersed the silence, "Candy?"
"Yes?" I said quietly.
He began reminiscing, his eyes still far away, "The moment you first walked into Room 0, your sparkling eyes captivated me."
"Albert..." I whispered.
He continued, "I knew God had sent you to me because you were there for me when everybody else despised me. Whenever I felt I was being abandoned in that musty room, your smiling face would come into my mind, keeping my spirit up and reminding me that there was one kind soul who still cared about me as a person."
I shuddered, remembering that he had mentioned death during those horrid days in Room 0. I replied in a voice barely louder than a whisper, "That was the least I should do to you, Albert. I owed you my life and you helped me a lot in the past."
He glanced at me and remarked tenderly, "Candy, there's no need to mention that again."
I nodded at him, and he went on, his eyes slowly shifting back to the lake, "Then that day came. When I faced the reality that the hospital couldn't care less about my existence, I decided to leave on my own. The streets were filled with people heading in different directions, but I just wandered around aimlessly. Yet I had no idea that a young lady was out there searching for me everywhere just because she was worried about me..."
His voice trailed off. He gazed at me with so much love and tenderness in his eyes. I grabbed his hands and held them in mine, meeting his amorous gaze.
With a tender smile gracing his lips, he continued in a nostalgic tone, "I was in despair, feeling so lost and lonely in the crowd. After what felt like hours, I somehow stumbled upon this lake with Pouppe. The fantastic calmness made me feel like I was finally breathing fresh air. What a contrast it was to me after being confined in a room for weeks! The tranquility around here was simply mesmerizing, and I didn't know how long I had been standing here by myself, struggling of what to do next."
He paused right here and closed his eyes. It was surely a painful experience for him, and this was the first time he ever talked about that day in details.
After some moments of silence, I encouraged him, "I am all ears, Albert."
Putting up a weak smile, he carried on, "As I said, I was all alone for quite some time until I heard something move behind me. I was more than shocked when you appeared out of nowhere. To tell you the truth, I knew you had been very kind to me, but I had never expected that you would want to take care of me! The way you pleaded in tears that night, asking me to stay with you, was forever imprinted in my mind. Your compassion and thoughtfulness touched my heart beyond words."
Words could not express how his recollections affected me either. He loosened my grip of his hands and started stroking my cheeks lovingly with his fingers. "You were a blessing to me, Candy. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up that night."
He gave me a peck on my cheek. I felt my tears start to well, but I tried my best to hold them in, knowing that if I cried now, I would only distract him from talking.
Roughly raking his hands through his wavy hair, he resumed, "As much as I knew it was improper for me, a grown-up man, to live together with a young lady like you, the tears you shed for me weakened my resolve significantly."
Then with a rueful smile on his face, he remarked, "Feeling lonesome and vulnerable, I was overwhelmed by your care and friendship. At the same time, I was fully aware that when you were by my side, I had peace in my heart, so I couldn't help but give in to my weakness. I walked away this park with you, wishing my memory would return as soon as possible." [1]
I really had no idea about any of these, and he had never told me his inner thoughts about why he had conceded with my suggestion of living together. Just then, he mistook my silence for boredom, and I heard him exhale loudly, saying, "Poor Candy, just listening to my ramblings..."
I instantly reached out to grasp his hands in mine and corrected him, "Oh no, Albert. I'm just trying to be a good listener."
He gave me a grateful smile before he said, his eyes unwavering, "Yet, in the months that followed, I gradually realized that I could no longer imagine my life without you. Your eyes, your smile and your companionship made me feel like I was living in a sweet dream. On the day you left for New York..."
He hesitated, watching me carefully. Surprisingly, I only felt a tinge of pain when he mentioned my trip to New York. Time was indeed a great healer. Besides, what he just said sounded so familiar to me. Likewise, his eyes, his smile and his companionship were what made me look forward to coming home everyday after a long day at work. At any rate, I was more than glad that he was opening up himself to me, so I squeezed his hands and encouraged him, looking straight into his eyes, "No worries, Albert. Please go on."
He cleared his throat and resumed, "That morning, when I saw you leaving for New York, it became clear to me that as long as I could continue this heartwarming life with you, getting my memory back or not didn't matter to me anymore."
I had not once suspected that he had feelings for me back then. He had hidden it really well.
He went on after taking a brief break, "Candy, it was the first time in months that we spent our lives apart from each other. On one hand, I truly felt happy for you, such a sweet and kind girl, that you could reunite with Terry at last, and I was fully prepared that you would stay with him in New York. On the other hand, I missed you so much when you were not around, and I just couldn't wait to see you again. Therefore, I had a haircut to get myself ready for a new start - a life without you by my side."
"So that was why you cut your long hair," I murmured. He lowered his head to look down at his laps and chuckled with embarrassment.
Shortly after that, he asked me, "Remember that I had memory flashes of the train accident in Italy after that car accident on the day you came back from New York?"
I nodded. With a melancholy expression, he said, "When I knew that I might recover anytime soon, I felt upset instead of being excited. Based on our agreement, that meant my days with you was coming to an end. Then it occurred to me that my feelings for you were very strong, much stronger than I could continue to ignore or suppress."
Having said that, he pulled me into his loving embrace like he didn't want to let me go, and I responded by resting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arms around his torso. Now that he ceased talking, my mind drifted back to those days when we cohabited. I remembered that the thought of his imminent departure often distressed me. Knowing that he had always liked to travel before his train accident and it wasn't his nature to stay in one place, I had mixed feelings about his recovery because I wanted him to stay with me for as long as possible.
His voice brought me out of my reverie, "I don't know when exactly my feelings changed to love, but you had been so caring and affectionate to me. After months of being together with you, I could not deny that I had fallen in love with you already, and I'd give anything to stay by your side."
"But still you decided to move out, Albert," came my response in a low voice.
He gently let go of me and said thoughtfully, "You know I had no choice. I was wrong from the start... I shouldn't have agreed to live with you-"
I was completely taken aback by what he said, so I interrupted him without delay. "What do you mean, Albert? Do you regret about us now?"
"Of course not! You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Candy!" he promptly retorted.
"So what did you mean by you were wrong from the start?" I asked, my voice shaking.
Then he said he felt terribly sorry to have caused many troubles in my life, and the fact that we had lived together had not only ruined my reputation but had also further worsened my relationship with Great Aunt Elroy and my adoptive family.
I kept shaking my head while listening to him. After he had finished, I told him that in response to what Great Aunt Elroy said about my outrageous behavior, I wrote a letter to Uncle William to explain myself, in which I expressed that I would rather give up the family name than leaving Albert.
Astonished into speechlessness, he was deeply touched by my words. Later, he cleared his throat and remarked, "But Candy, have you ever thought that you don't really know who I am... and as a matter of fact, neither do I..."
There was a trace of exasperation in his voice. He looked down at his crossed legs, as if being defeated, and sighed.
"Is this what has been bothering you lately?" I asked him tenderly, shifting myself to sit closer to him.
Upon hearing this question, he stared at me with wide, stunned eyes. His reaction told me that my question got right to the point. So I continued, trying my best to sound as understanding as possible, "Do you feel insecure about our relationship because you don't know your true identity?"
He exhaled deeply and moved his head up and down slowly in agreement. "Just a few nights ago, I woke up from a nightmare that my family members were worried sick about me, but I didn't see their faces."
"But you said you were an orphan!" I exclaimed with shock, my eyes widening, but within a split of a second I reckoned that I had overreacted. It was merely his dream after all.
Shaking his head, he explained, "Did I just say that I had no shelter, Candy? That could mean something totally different - I am not necessarily an orphan."
"But when I assumed you were one, you didn't deny it either," I retorted mildly, looking at him with puzzlement. Instead of answering me, he diverted his eyes to avoid mine.
Stunned disbelief gradually gave way to alarm inside me, and then something struck me hard. "Albert, don't tell me that you think you have a wife somewhere worrying about you now!" I blurted out, striving to keep panic out of my voice, but I failed.
At that remark, he turned sharply to face me. He must have noticed that I was shaking uncontrollably. Holding onto my shoulders firmly, he said, loudly and clearly, "Candy, didn't you tell me that I had always been travelling alone before my accident? So I can safely deduce that I am still single."
I must have gone pale, so he kissed my forehead with affection to banish my fears and doubts. Again, his 'amulet' worked effectively; my dread soon subsided and was replaced with solace.
Just then, a gentle breeze blew onto our faces, and Albert closed his eyes like he was listening to the wind in the trees. After a moment, he said, "Candy, I'm sorry to have worried you."
He then fixed his eyes seriously upon my face and stated, "My nightmare seemed to imply that I had lied to you when we first met near the waterfall."
Before tonight, it had never occurred to me that he might have lied to me back then, then I heard, "If I did, will you forgive me?"
His solemn look caused me to choose my words carefully, "Do you mean the fact that you told me that you had no shelter?"
He nodded with anxiety written on his face, so I replied resolutely, "Sure, I will forgive you, Albert. Perhaps it wasn't a lie at all? But even if it was, I believe you must have a valid reason then."
Immediately he let out a sigh of relief and said, "Thank you, Candy. You don't know how much that means to me!" Then he put his arm around me and drew me to him without uttering another word.
I snuggled up to him, resting my head on his shoulder. A moment later, I raised a question, "Albert, so you think your parents are out there waiting for you to come home?"
Shrugging his shoulders, he answered, "I am not entirely sure about that, but I have a strong feeling that I am not alone in this world like you have always assumed."
Amidst his silence, I asked myself, even if he has a family somewhere, I shouldn't worry too much, should I?
Then it dawned on me. "Are you worried that your family won't accept me as your girlfriend?" Frowning, I sat myself up to look at him nervously.
"Oh no, I'm not worried about that at all!" he replied with a gentle smile and quickly added, "Who wouldn't like you, Candy? In fact, I am lucky to be in love with an angel."
My frown turned into a smile when I heard that, feeling pleased and comforted at the same time. Then he tenderly caressed my face with one hand and said, "At the very least, my family should appreciate the beautiful nurse who has saved my life."
I lowered my eyes bashfully, unable to hold his gaze. "Albert, please stop teasing me, I know that I'm not a beautiful girl."
"Candy..." he called my name softly, lifting my chin to gently make me meet his eyes before he resumed, his countenance serious, "You're always beautiful to me."
Then he kissed my eyes affectionately. After that, he looked up at the night sky, which was studded with bright, twinkling stars now.
A while later, I broached the subject that still bothered me, "So what makes you feel insecure about us?"
At that, he closed his eyes for a couple of minutes, and his face slowly contorted into a look of agitation, which was very disturbing, and for a moment I almost wanted to drop the subject. When he opened his eyes again, there was a heavy silence as we regarded each other.
Next, with a frown marring his brows, he explained, unable to keep frustration out of his voice, "I have been haunted by my nightmare because I couldn't understand why I lied to you when we first met..."
His voice was getting lower and lower, and I saw his shoulders sag. Then he heaved a deep and troubled sigh before he said brokenly, "Not knowing my true identity has never afflicted me so much until lately, but at the same time, I dread the day when my memory comes back."
This considerably shook me up. A few moments of silence later, while I was trying to clear the tangled thoughts in my head, he straightened his back and said to me with a contemplative look, "Candy, this lake means a lot to both of us, and I have longed to come back here to tell you in details how my deep feelings for you were developed."
He stopped briefly to take a long breath. Then he grasped my hands firmly and declared, his vibrant blue eyes fastened upon me, "Candy, more importantly I want to tell you this. Regardless of who I turn out to be, I will always love you. Let this lake and the trees around us be my witness."
At that instant, I felt so emotionally stirred that my tears escaped my eyes like water burst through a broken dam. Nobody ever loved me like he did, and I collapsed into his arms, shedding tears of joy. He held me really tight in response, saying in a voice hoarse with emotion, "I mean it from the bottom of my heart, Candy."
Some time later, I calmed down and straightened up myself. Then I spoke to him face to face in a soft tone, "Albert, it doesn't matter to me who you are actually. You're always Albert to me, even though I have never known your full name or your background. It isn't something that I have to wonder about."
"Candy..." he murmured, gently wiping the remnant of tears from my face.
"As a matter of fact, your presence always gives me a marvelous feeling of security," I said with conviction. "I believe that we are tied by invisible threads all these years, and I have faith that our bond is strong enough to withstand any storm." [2]
There was a hint of moisture glint in his tender blue eyes, and he seemed at a loss for words. I reckoned this was the best time to tell him that I loved him for who he was. Thus, I gathered up my courage and recited the words that I had been practising for days.
"Deep down inside I knew that you held a special place in my heart, and you were more than a dear big brother to me. Yet I didn't recognize the depth of my feelings for you until you were gone."
Albert looked profoundly moved. With a lump forming in my throat, my tremulous voice could only manage to stammer, "Only then... I realized that... I have fallen in love with you, Albert."
A sweet fire filled me at that instant, and I felt elated because I was able to confess at long last. He gaped at me, as if he could hardly believe his ears, but soon his face shone with rapture. With his blazed eyes gazing into mine deeply, he caressed my cheeks with fondness and said, "Candy, you don't know how much I have yearned for you to reciprocate my love."
With my fingers lightly tracing the contours of his face, I reassured him, "I have been blind, but now I know we are meant to be together. When we have each other, we can face the unknown future."
What happened next was least expected and just took my breath away. Albert cupped my face with his hands and kissed me full on my mouth, his lips so tender. I closed my eyes as a reflex, wrapping my arms chastely around his neck. His kisses were filled with love, sweet and long. As I began to follow his lead and returned his kiss, he was getting more and more intense and fervent. My head was whirling at the sensation of his soft lips against mine, my knees trembling and my heart racing. A part of me was actually scared of this new experience, and yet this was just as magical and amazing as I had always dreamed of, being able to lock lips with my love.
I just followed my instincts and tried my best to keep up with his ardent movements. I felt the blood rush to my face and my entire being melt. When I timidly roamed his broad shoulders and his upper back, his hands moved over my shoulders and down my back. Then he snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer to him, deepening the kiss. I felt the passionate tug of his lips, his hands exploring my back with increasing ardor, like he couldn't get enough of me or like this was the only time he could kiss me. I had long lost the ability to think. All I knew was that I was lost in ecstasy and I was floating on cloud nine.
After some long, drugging moments, when I started to feel that I was running out of breath, he finally broke off his kiss as if he had the same need. Gasping for air, I opened my eyes very slowly. For a brief moment, I almost forgot where we were exactly. We still didn't let go of each other however, and I could feel his heart pounding against my chest and his breathing seemed to rush through his lungs as though he had just run a long race. When I met his gaze, he was peering at me with adoration and love. At that instant, I felt that I could drown in his striking blue eyes and missed his warm lips against mine already.
Then he planted one more gentle, loving kiss on my lips and suggested, "It's getting late now, Candy. Shall we go home?"
There was a chill in the air as we left Chicago Nature Park walking hand in hand. He took off his blue jacket and helped me to put it on. I felt so in love. Almost a year ago, we began our new lives together as siblings. Now, we became lovers, and I was truly looking forward to our future together as a couple.
There's a place out there for us
More than just a prayer or anything you've ever dreamed of.
So when you feel like giving up
Cause you don't fit in down here
Fear is crashing in, close your eyes and take my hand yeah.
...
We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe.
It's written in the stars that shine above
A world where you and I belong
Where faith and love will keep us strong
Exactly who we are is just enough
There's a place for us, there's a place for us.
...
When the water meets the sky
Where your heart is free and hope comes back to life
When these broken hands are whole again
We'll find what we've been waiting for
We were made for so much more
...
We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe.
It's written in the stars that shine above
A world where you and I belong
Where faith and love will keep us strong
Exactly who we are is just enough
There's a place for us, there's a place for us
...
So hold on, hold on
There's a place for us [3]
=o=o=o=
Author's Note and acknowledgement:
I have been waiting to write this chapter since I began to write this story. I strongly believe that Albert had feelings for Candy for a long time, but he just suppressed himself because he was aware that she was in love with Terry. In addition, an Albert fan mentioned to me that Albert was concerned about his true identity, so in the manga it was very clear that he was more bold to show his affection to Candy after he had recovered.
Albert's recollections were my interpretations heavily based on the manga version and his letters to Candy in Candy Candy Final Story. However, the reason why Albert had his haircut after Candy left for New York was purely my imagination.
Again, thanks to my friend, Trastuspies AR, who helped me to confirm the wordings in her manga version (French), especially the famous Chicago Nature Park episode.
Thanks to Albertfanatix for giving me the idea of using bicycles after I published one of my earlier chapters a long while ago, but I haven't had a chance to materialize that idea until now.
I hope you have enjoyed reading this chapter. For your interest, I was listening to "Moonlight Sonata" to set my mood for writing.
Footnote:
[1] Please note that some important details are missing in the English manga version, especially Albert's inner thoughts about having peace in his heart when Candy was by his side and his inner wish that he would recover as soon as possible when he finally agreed with Candy's plan and let her take care of him by living together.
[2] What Candy told Albert about her views on his true identity was extracted from Candy Candy Final Story, Book 2 page 197. Candy in her thirties, was recalling the time why she wanted to take care of Albert when he was amnesiac even though she didn't know who he really was. "His presence gave me a marvelous feeling of security. Now I can understand the meaning of the bond that tied us with invisible threads."
[3] "There's A Place For Us" by Carrie Underwood (2010). There is also a YouTube video, "Felicidades Candy", created by Mizugashi for Albert and Candy using this song.