All Disclaimers Apply

1312 ZULU

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, VA

Harm stepped off the elevator at JAG Ops a little after eight the next morning. He'd barely slept at all, and he had large dark circles under his eyes. In his hand he carried the folder that contained his report from Philadelphia.

"Good morning, Sir," Lt. Jonas greeted. "How's the Colonel?" Jonas was the newest Marine JAG and sort of Mac's pet. She was grooming him to eventually become her assistant in the SecNav's office.

Harm wondered for a moment why the Lieutenant was asking about Mac. Then it dawned on him, the SecNav's office no doubt called over and requested a fill-in liaison for the day. "She's okay," replied Harm. "A little under the weather, but she's okay."

"I was worried, Sir," he replied. "She's not usually out of work. I've seen her come in pretty sick, Sir."

That was no lie. She'd gone in on days when most people, if they felt the way she did, wouldn't budge from their bed. "Yeah, she's not out often," agreed Harm. "She's just really sick today, Lieutenant. Thanks for asking about her, though."

"Tell her I hope she feels better soon, Sir," Lt. Jonas requested then went about his duties.

Harm made it about halfway through the bullpen when he was stopped again. This time by Lt.J.G. Clark, who'd taken over Harriet's position. "Commander, is everything all right at home?" she asked. "The Secretary requested a substitute for Colonel Rabb. Is she okay?"

"I don't need this today," he thought to himself. "She's fine, Lieutenant," said Harm. "She's sick, but she's fine."

"Oh, all right, Sir," she replied. "Permission to speak freely?"

He nodded, not sure what he was getting himself in to.

"You look terrible, Sir," she commented. "Didn't you sleep?"

"Not much, Lieutenant," he answered. "That's why I only came in long enough to turn this in," he held up the folder in his hand. "And then I'm leaving."

"Try and get some rest, Sir," Lt. Clark advised. "You're no good to the Colonel like that." She let him get a few steps away then, "You're tie is crooked."

"Thank you, Lieutenant," he said as he continued to walk towards the General's office. He didn't much care if his whole damn uniform was crooked at that point.

"Good morning, Sir," PO Coates greeted. "I thought you were on leave? How's the Colonel?"

"She's sick, Petty Officer," said Harm, beginning to feel like a broken record. "And I am on leave, officially. Is the General in? I need to give this to him then I'm headed back home."

"He's in a meeting. He should be through in a moment," she answered. "What's wrong with her? Is it...?" Coates was one of the few that were privy to the more intimate details of Mac's illness as it had become necessary to inform her when they needed her to watch Lucy and DJ.

"Yeah," Harm said. "Something like that. I need to get back and make sure she's okay. I'll be in my office; could you call me as soon as the General gets back, please?"

Before Harm made it out of the room the General's door opened and Mic Brumby stepped out, dressed in the uniform of an Australian Navy Commander. "Commander Rabb," he greeted. "Blast from the past eh?" He extended his hand to Harm.

Harm felt his stomach lurch at the sight and sound of that guy. "Commander," he said, forcing himself to be civil. "What brings you here?"

"Exchange program, Mate," Mic replied. "Since I enjoyed my last one so much I thought I'd have another go at it. How's Sarah? I don't see her."

"Oh, don't even think about it, you cretin!" thought Harm as Mic's words registered in his mind. "She's great" said Harm, "she's assigned to the SevNav's office now as an advisor and JAG liaison."

"Oh, when did that happen?" Mic asked.

"About three years ago" answered Harm, "when she was pregnant with our son and had some complications We decided being here at JAG was too much for her, so she requested a transfer. Worked out great."

"Ah, you have a son? Harmon the Third?" he asked.

"Nope, David Jonathan" replied Harm. "We call him 'DJ' He's two and a half, great little guy."

"I'd love to meet him sometime," he smiled. "And of course to catch up."

"I'll catch you up, you..." thought Harm as he wished this conversation would end."That'd be great" he replied. "If you'll excuse me, I need to speak to the General for a moment before I head home. I was TAD last week and I'm still on leave."

"That's nice," Mic smiled. "I'm actually headed over to the SecNav's offices now. Any message for Sarah?"

"Like I'd tell you if there were, slimeball..." "No" said Harm, "and Mac's not there today. She's home sick." While he hated the reason Mac was home, he was thrilled that she wasn't in the office that morning.

"Oh, nothing serious I hope," he seemed genuinely concerned.

"No" said Harm, "just something that's been going around. She'll be fine." He was not about to go anywhere near the truth with that guy.

"Well, give her my best, will you, Mate?" Mic winked as he left the General's outer office.

Harm offered a half-hearted smile as Mic walked away. Of all the people he didn't need to see that morning, Mic Brumby was well towards the top of the list.

"Go on inside, Sir," Coates instructed. "The General can see you now."

"Thanks, Petty Officer" said Harm as he entered his CO's office.

"At ease, Commander," General Cresswell greeted. "Have a seat."

"Thank you, Sir" replied Harm. "Here's my report from the sexual harassment case, Sir." He handed the General the folder he'd been carrying around since he arrived.

"Thank you, I'll look it over at my convenience," he sighed. "You look like Hell."

"I feel like hell, sir" said Harm.

"Something you want to talk about?" he asked, his gruff Marine exterior not wavering.

"No, Sir...yes, Sir..." Harm stammered. "Things at home, they're...kind of strained right now. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"I hear Colonel Rabb is ill? Does that have something to do with your appearance? Crooked tie, wrinkled uniform, no wings?"

"No wings?" he asked, looking down at his jacket. Sure enough, no wings. "I apologize for my unkempt appearance today, Sir. We had a rough night last night, but that's no excuse."

"It might be if you'll tell me what's going on," General Cresswell pressed.

Harm sighed. He may as well let the General in on it. He had no way of knowing how long the fallout from last night's revelation would last, nor how far it would reach and if he needed some more time away from work in the coming weeks or months, it was only fair that the General know at least part of what was happening.

"I did something stupid, General" he began. "I was going to talk with the Colonel about it last night when I arrived home from TAD, but I didn't get the chance."

"What did you do?" he asked. "I won't order you to tell me, but I can help you if you need more time off or..."

"I slept with someone else, Sir." He just spit it out in a single breath and waited for the inevitable onslaught of his CO's wrath.

"Excuse me, Commander, did I hear you right?" Cresswell asked.

Harm slowly nodded. "I'm afraid you did, Sir. I'm...I can't even begin-"

"There is no excuse," Cresswell snapped. "And further, what is more inexcusable is that you are still here and not home trying to sort this out with your wife. I assume then that Colonel Rabb is not ill? At least not physically?"

"No, Sir, she's not" replied Harm. "Well, she may be by now, but her absence from work today is entirely my fault."

"I understand," the General sighed. "I appreciate your honesty with me. I will not be requiring Colonel Rabb's presence until Monday. Dismissed."

"Assure Colonel Rabb that I will see her duties are covered until Monday. Dismissed."

"Sir, I don't know how long this will take to work through" said Harm.

"Well, then," the General ordered. "Get out of my office and go home to your wife. That's an order, Commander."

Harm snapped to attention. "Aye, aye, Sir." With that, he took his leave of the General and returned to his own office.

Meanwhile at the Rabb home, Mac was doing no better than her husband. She'd gotten a couple hours of sleep, but it wasn't peaceful by any means. She'd awakened before sunrise and laid in bed, crying until she had a splitting headache. She got up to get some aspirin, then crawled back into bed and continued to cry. It was after eight when Harriet told her breakfast was ready.

Harriet sat down beside Mac, "Mac, I made you some oatmeal. Do you want to try to eat a little something?"

"I'm not hungry" said Mac wearily. She thought she heard children's voices coming from the family room. "Are your kids here?"

"Jimmy is playing with the twins," Harriet replied. "And you have to eat something."

"I can't" insisted Mac. "If I do, it'll come right back up. I'm too upset."

"Oh no," Harriet sighed. "We're not doing this. You are not just going to lie there like that. I won't have it."

"Harriet?" questioned Mac.

"Yes," Harriet replied. "I will not have this. You have two little children who are going to need you and Harm is going to call and you are going to have to deal with him. This is not the Sarah Mackenzie Rabb I know and love."

Mac rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. "I don't know what to do" she said. "I don't know what's going to happen and I'm scared. I'm scared that when that phone rings, I'll freeze up and-"

The phone rang just then. "Go on," Harriet encouraged.

Almost visibly shaking with fear, Mac reached out and picked up the phone. She looked at the Caller ID window; it was Harm. Witha deep breath, she pressed the "talk" button and placed the phone to her ear. "Hi" she said softly, determined not to cry.

"Hi," Harm's husky voice came over the phone. "How are you?"

"Not good" she answered. "You?"

"I've been better," he replied. "Is it all right for...Can I come home now?"

"Yeah" she whispered.

"Can I bring you anything?" he asked.

"No" she answered softly. "Just you. We have to talk. I can't go on like this."

"I can't either, Honey," he sighed. "You sound...awful."

She began to come apart again, but fought to keep it together. "I feel awful" she said.

"I'll be there soon," he told her. "And I...never mind."

"What?" she asked, "say it, please?"

"I was just going to...ask if I could hold you," he said shakily. "But I don't deserve that."

"No, you don't" she agreed, her voice wavering. "But yes."

He sounded a bit happier. "I'll see you soon." Then he hung up.

Harriet had been hovering near by for the entire conversation. "Well?"

Mac hung the phone up and looked up at her friend. "He's on his way home" she said. "He asked if...if he could hold me."

"What are you going to do?" Harriet asked.

"Let him hold me" she replied as the tears broke through. She cried for a moment, then found the strength to stop. "I need to get in the shower" she said.

"How about I help you curl your hair the way he likes," Harriet offered. "Nice and pretty."

"I don't think we have time" sniffled Mac. "He'll be here in less than thirty minutes."

"Well, you better get moving and I'll see what I can do," Harriet offered. "I'll make the bed."

"Okay, thanks" said Mac. As she was headed for the bathrom, the phone rang again. With a sigh, she turned around and went to answer it, but Harriet got to it first.

"Rabb Residence," she answered. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Dennis, she is sick today." A pause. "No this is her aunt, Mrs. Roberts. Thank you for calling." She turned to Mac. "Lucy's school wanted to know why she was truant today."

"I didn't even think about that" said Mac. "I should have called them myself this morning and I just didn't even think about it."

"It's okay," Harriet smiled. "Get in the shower."

Mac nodded and hurried off to get a shower. She knew she'd feel a little better afterwards, physically anyway.

Forty five minutes later, Mac sat with Harriet at the kitchen table, makeup on, hair curled, still waiting for Harm to arrive.

"I should call him" said Mac, reaching for the phone.

"Give him some time," he probably got stuck in traffic. "Try and eat more than a bite of that oatmeal."

Just then, she heard the familiar sound of a car door closing in the driveway. She looked at Harriet, already feeling her nerves begin to swell.

"It's okay, Mac," she comforted. "You're in the right here. Remember that."

"I don't know how this morning will go" she said. "If last night was any indication-"

"Last night you were both shocked and tired," Harriet reminded her. "Keep your cool, Colonel."

"I'll do my best" said Mac, mindlessly stirring the now cold oatmeal with her spoon. She heard him open the tiny key safe above the door and dig out the spare key. He unlocked and opened the door, coming face to face with his wife and their friend.

"Good morning, Harm," Harriet greeted to break the silence. "I'll just get the children and be going."

Harm nodded, knowing this was no time to be polite and ask her to stay. He looked at Mac, noticing how pretty she'd made herself up.

"You're beautiful," he whispered as he closed the distance between them and sat on the chair beside her. "And by the looks of it, not very hungry."

"No" she answered, pushing the cereal bowl away from herself. She looked at him. "You look tired" she noted softly.

"I am," he replied. "I'm sick over this, Mac, I..." He hung his head and let his shoulders slump. "We need to talk this out."

"I know" she agreed, her voice remaining soft and calm. "As soon as we're alone, we'll talk, and we won't stop until we..."

Harriet appeared then with the twins in their carriers and Jimmy at her heels. "I'll be on my way," she said. "Call if you need anything," she charged looking more at Mac than Harm.

"Thank you for helping out, Harriet," Harm said as he rose and opened the door for her.

"You're welcome" she replied, looking at him in a way which conveyed loud and clear that she was still highly upset with him.

Then she was out the door.

Harm closed the door after Harriet left and resumed his seat beside Mac. "I think you deserve the chance to speak first," he told her.

"Alright" she said, taking a deep breath as she formulated her thoughts, or tried to anyway. "I don't understand how this happened. How did we let this stupid disease do this to us?"

"I think its because..." he sighed. "I think its because since we've been married..." He stopped again. "Since we've been married we've been doing things wrong."

"I'm not sure I get what you mean?" she said.

"Well, what did we do right after we decided that we were met to be together?" he asked. "In Russia after my father..."

"You mean our first time?" she asked.

"Yeah," Harm replied. "And after I went and picked you up after Chris? What then?"

"Same thing" she answered softly.

"And after I got you off?" he asked. "And on the sub?"

"So you're saying we've been using sex in ways we shouldn't have?" she asked. "I don't think that's true. Those situations were all totally different."

"Not in ways we shouldn't have," he sighed. "But instead of talking we just stopped and...This is no excuse. But..." He put his head in his hands and let his shoulders collapse.

"But because we never really talked about things" she said, "once the disease came into the picture and we couldn't just go at it for any old reason, we..." He was right, it was no excuse at all for what happened with Annie, none. However, he had a strong case when it came to the loss of something she'd never realized was as integral to the survival of their particular marriage as it obviously was.

He didn't answer her, he just sat there.

"When did you figure this out?" she asked.

He looked up at her, blue eyes shining with tears. "When I felt myself losing you." The sight of his tears caused a fresh wave to fall over her. She buried her face in her hands and cried.

Harm rose from his chair and moved to Mac's side. He was hesitant to touch her, afraid she'd reject him, but at the same time he needed to touch her. He tentatively placed hand on her back. "Mac, tell me what you're feeling?"

She managed to regain control of herself after a moment. "I'm feeling so many things right now" she said, "I don't know where to begin."

"What's the strongest feeling?" he asked. "We have to do this Mac, its going to hurt us both, but we have to talk. Please, try and calm enough to try and work through it."

She nodded slightly, took a deep breath and answered him. "Loss. Loss of the life I used to have, of the intimacy we had for over 6 years, of...the complete and total trust I used to have in you."

"I'm feeling that too, Mac," he replied. "I feel like...I feel like I'm losing you. Maybe I have I..." he moved away from her and turned to stare out their kitchen window.

"I don't want to lose you, Harm" she said, "not over this or anything else. I know you're afraid that I'm going to kick you out of my life forever, but I...I couldn't do that."

"Then why did you ask me to leave last night? I needed you and I know you needed me..." he trailed off again.

"Look at what we were doing to each other last night!" she exclaimed. "We were both hurting far too badly to have hoped for a positive, meaningful conversation about this and to be completely honest...I needed to be away from you last night."

"I needed you in my arms last night," he sighed. "I know I have no right to say that but its true. I need you now, I need to be able to breathe again...I need for you to not look like your world is shattered."

"You're awfully willing to point out what you need" she noted. "You needed me in your arms last night; you need for me not to look like my world is shattered - my world is shattered, Harm! Don't you understand that? What about what I need? I'm trying, I'm really trying to talk with you here, but you're not making it easy."

"But you're not saying anything," he countered. "I want you to tell me what I can do to fix this. Please," he moved closer and reached out his arms. "Please, tell me what to do."

Seeing him standing there, looking more vulnerable than he'd looked in ages, she couldn't help it. She stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around his back, laid her head against his chest and cried for a solid three minutes.

Harm held her tighter than he ever remembered doing. He rocked her while she cried and placed tiny kisses on hair in between whispers of "I'm sorry, Sarah. I'm sorry."

"What are we going to do?" she asked through her tears. "What...you...you have to tell me more about...about...her." The mere thought of Annie made Mac cry even harder, as if she wasn't already on the brink of a complete meltdown.

"You need to try and calm down first," he told her. "Then I'll tell you everything you need to know. How about we sit on the couch?"

She took in a few shaky breaths and let them out slowly. Once she felt she could stand on her own, she stepped away from him and walked towards the couch. He followed right behind her, grabbing the box of tissues from the bar as he passed by.

He sat down next to her, leaving her a bit of space. He'd let her come to him. He handed her a tissue, "Blow your nose."

She took the tissue, wiped her nose and looked up at him. "I need you to tell me everything" she said. "You asked me what you could do to fix this, and..." She swallowed hard, fighting the urge to fall apart again. "I need to know. I can't...I can't tell you how to fix this if I don't know how broken it is."

"You want the whole story?" he asked.

Her reply was short yet so painful. "Yes."

"When I went to that cantina that night I had no idea that Annie was going to be there. I hadn't spoken to her since the Tiger Cruise. I only got those newsletters she sent out every Christmas," he began. "I had a really rough day, I was tired, my back hurt, and all day long I had been haunted by scenes of families that could barely keep body and soul together. I wanted to douse the ache a bit, so instead of a beer, I ordered a House Margherita."

He stopped and waited for her reaction.

She was looking down at the tissue in her hands. "Go on."

"I don't know how long I sat there drinking that one drink," he sighed. "I wanted to go back to the BOQ and talk to you and the kids, but...I didn't...I was sitting there looking in the drink when I felt a gentle touch on my arm. I looked over to see who it was and it was Annie. She smiled and asked how I was and we started to talk," he sighed and swallowed the lump rising in his throat.

"Obviously it wasn't a short conversation" said Mac softly.

"No," he sighed. "We got a table and ordered another set of drinks and some nachos. I told her all about you, about how we finally found each other after my father. I told her about Lucy and DJ. She told me somethings that weren't in her newsletters, how unhappy she was with her husband, how she still missed Luke, things like that," he paused again.

He took several breaths and rubbed at the pain in his chest.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" she asked, her voice tiny, broken.

"Yeah," he sighed. "It aches. This..." he sighed. "This is how I felt that night as she and I continued to talk I..."

"You what?" asked Mac. "God, please tell me you didn't think about doing what you did before you did it!"

"No," he rushed. "No. I started to tell her about your illness, what I felt about it, how much I worried about you. I told her a lot of things, how I felt at the loss of our intamacy, and how much I was hurting for you and maybe in someways because of you. At one point she reached over and touched my hand, she told me I had needs too and you should be sensative to that. Then she asked me if I wanted another drink. I'm not sure why I said yes, I just wanted the pain to go away." He was starting to tear up again, but hastily wiped his eyes.

It would have been very easy at that moment for Mac to feel that he was blaming her for what he'd done, but she knew better. She'd seen his pain in recent months as her disease ripped away at the seams of their marriage. "I never forgot your needs, Harm" she said, her chin quivering as she watched him wpie his tears away. "Or your pain."

"I know," he sighed. "But I was...I couldn't share it with you, do you understand? I felt like...she was my best friends wife. She knows things about me that no one, not even Grams knows and I thought if I can't tell her, who can I tell?"

"I thought you could tell me everything" said Mac, tears flowing again.

He hung his head and shook it. "Not this, Mac. I couldn't tell you how I was feeling because...I wanted to take away your pain, not add to it. Before I knew what was happening she asked me to dance. It was some fast Spanish tune and I needed to work off some steam so I said okay. We danced some and had some more margheritas. Finally, it was time for me to hit the rack, I was tired and I had to meet with the Ambassador the next day. I had had a few too many so she walked with me to the car. I remember her touching my face, telling me how lucky she though you were, and how you should appreciate me more and...I'm not sure if she kissed me or I kissed her, but...the next thing I knew we were in a room near that cantina."

"You remember what happened in the room?" she asked, almost afraid to but knowing she needed to, for both their sakes.

"Not all of it," he replied. "I remember her putting her arms around me, telling me she missed me and that...all of these things that I really needed to here. That you were lucky, that I was a good man, a good husband...I needed to hear those things to not for just a little while feel like a failure." He took another breath. "I don't remember kissing her, and I don't remember getting into bed with her. I remember getting into bed with you."

"But it wasn't me, Harm" she said through her tears. "Didn't you know that?"

He shook his head, "I don't know. On some level I guess I did, but when I woke up the next morning and felt her move...I called her Sarah."

"Nice touch, Casanova." She reached for a fresh tissue.

He gave a tiny smile, he couldn't help it. "We talked and decided that it was a mistake, that it should be added to the library of memories we had with each other, and left in Mexico. That's about it."

"Until that day at the doctor's office" said Mac. "That didn't tip you off at all that she was..."

He shook his head, "Not really I was so worried about you that I didn't even think about it. Women get check ups."

He had a point. "I'm willing to bet" she said, "that she already knew she was pregnant when she showed up here and crashed Lucy's party. She probably only came to feel you out, to figure out the most maniacal way to tell you, and what's this I hear that you told Bud and Harriet that the baby might not even be yours?"

"She claims the baby is mine, but she does, did have a husband, and God knows if she was with anyone else. That, and I remember using a condom. I know I did, because the level the registered what I was doing...that and because of what Dr. Bradley said about a baby...if we ever did I wanted to protect you so...More though, I felt Lucy and DJ, like you did. I don't feel this baby, Sarah."

"Well at least you were responsible while you were being irresponsible" she said.

Harm was about to speak again when the phone rang. They both stared at each other.

"Let the machine get it," he told her. "We're not done here."

"Hello, Mac. It's AJ. Listen um, I really am going to need something to tell Lucy. She's crying for Harm and..."

He jumped off the couch and ran to the kitchen to grab the phone. "AJ, I'm here" he said. "What's going on?"

"Its Lucy," he sighed. "She's crying for you. She says her head hurts and I can't calm her down."

"Oh boy" replied Harm with a sigh. "Hang on a sec, AJ." He stepped into the living room and asked Mac "did you send the Tylenol with Lucy?"

"No," she replied. "I didn't think of that? Why is she sick?"

"AJ said she had a headache and she's crying for me and he can't calm her down. What should I tell him to do? I don't think we're ready for them to come back yet."

"Ask him if he can settle her with one adult regular strength Tylenol and a video. If not we'll have to let her come home," Mac replied. "I don't want her to be by herself if she's sick. The children have to come first."

"Yeah, they do" he agreed. "AJ" he said, going back to the phone conversation, "do you have any regular strength Tylenol, just the plain stuff for adults?"

"Yeah, I have regular and extra," he replied. "Is that safe?"

"Yeah" answered Harm, "just give her one of the regular strength ones, grind it up in a little juice and have her drink it but don't tell her what's in it. See if that and a video helps at all, and if it doesn't, call us back and I'll come get her."

"Okay, thank you," he replied. "What's going on over there? Is Mac sick? She was awfully upset last night."

"Uh, yeah, she's not feeling too hot" he answered, "but she'll be okay. We'll call you when we're ready to come get them, if we don't hear from you before then, does that work?"

"Yeah, I'd keep them forever you know that, but the Cookie Bun here is pretty upset so I figured I'd better call," he sighed. "Tend your wife. I'll handle you...DJ, do not throw my keys in the toilet!" With that the Admiral hung up.

Harm laughed at the Admiral's plight and returned to Sarah with hint of smile on his lips.

"Will she be okay with him, you think?" asked Mac, who'd calmed down a touch during the break.

"I think so," he replied. "He'll cuddle her if she needs it. We need to finish this, our children are going to need us to be able to be civil to each other."

"Yeah" she sighed. "Back to...Annie" Mac said, forcing that name from her lips like some awful tasting food. "That night she called and had you meet her in DC, what was...?"

"Yeah," he replied. "That's when she told me she was pregnant. I told her I want a DNA test the minute the baby is born, but she wanted me to take "responsibility" before that."

"Are you going to?" she asked. "Take responsibility before then?"

"When I told her no she...she threatened to call you and tell you what happened. I couldn't let that happen, if you ever found out I wanted it to be from me. I told her after much debate that I would go to her sonogram with her and help in case of an emergency. She wanted me to be there for the birth, and Lamaze, but I can't do that." He felt another tear slide down his cheek.

"No, you can't" agreed Mac, feeling the anger swell up inside. "Those are all the thing you...did with me and we were supposed to, oh, God, Harm, what about the baby we were gonna try for? What about that?" She broke into sobs again at the idea that Annie would be doing all the things she wanted to be doing, and the chance that Annie's baby was Harm's made it hurt so much more.

"We can still have that, Sarah," he told her. "That's your choice." He waited a beat. "Do you want to come here?" He opened his arms.

She nodded, but was too upset to move towards him. "Come hold me" she sobbed. "Please."

He moved closer and put his arms around her, gently rocking her. "I'm going to make this up to you. I swear I will. Just please tell me how," he begged his own voice catching on a sob.

"We need help" she cried. "We can't do this ourselves. It's just too much."

He nodded. "Then we get help. I'll do anything if it means not losing you," he replied. "I can't stand the thought that could happen."

"I don't want that to happen" she said, sobbing against his shoulder. "I feel like I've already lost so much of you and so much of us, I can't...I don't want to lose you, Harm, Oh God, I don't!"

He rubbed her back as she cried. "You won't. You haven't...I'm the one...So where do we go from here? I just wish it could all go away, that we could go back to before. Can we?"

"No" she replied, her face covered in tears. "No."

"So what? I move out until we can get our act together?" he suggested loathing that idea.

She felt another wave of tears overtake her. "No" she said, "I can't...I can't stand the idea of you not being here and not being a part of the family. I also can't...stand the idea of you sleeping in our bed right now. I think it would be best if you slept in the gest room until we can...can get through some of this."

"Whatever you need," he replied. "I'll do whatever it takes to save us, Sarah. Whatever it takes."