In case I have not said this before (which is very likely) this story is a LONG one. Starfire's Tamaranian problem is just grazing the beginning of my story. I mean, I'm taking this all the way into NightWing and the very far future. Its my first long project (though my Mononoke trilogy could be declared that as well...) so if you plan to read the rest, get ready for a long ride.

To those who guessed the first plot of the story, a cookie is waiting for you. YAY!

Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.

Pam Brown

The Titans had done nothing but mope around the castle, unsure of where they could go or what they could do. They spend most of t heir time outside, where the weather was warm but bearable enough. While Raven tried to read and Beast Boy tried to get her to play with him, Cyborg had been given the chance to see how the Tamaranians' weapons worked. Due to their natural super strength, few Tamaranians needed weapons but whatever weapons they did have, they were phenomenally advanced in every way and to Cyborg, this was a chance of a lifetime. Robin, for his part, passed the day worrying about Starfire and trying to enjoy the bickering between his two remaining friends. When Beast Boy got tired of hearing Raven threaten him with sticking long materials up certain sensitive areas of his body, he left her alone for the time being and entertained himself with other things.

Raven flopped down next to Robin and sighed.

"Giving you hell, huh?" he asked good-naturally to which Raven rolled her eyes toward the sky with a frustrated groan.

"He won't leave me be," she said tiredly, "I can't think of any more mean things to do to him," she added unbelievably, "Isn't that ridiculous?"

Robin shrugged.

"Maybe you're just getting used to him," he offered. Raven scoffed and set her book in her lap.

"As if."

Their eyes remained on Beast Boy as he played around with the other alien animals. He seemed to be having a lot of fun trying to change into them and actually succeeding, to his great surprise.

Raven, her eyes still on the changeling, spoke quietly.

"Still worried?"

Robin chuckled instantly. She knew him too well.

"It's become a habit," he joked, feeling her gaze return to him.

"I don't think she's really thought all of this through," said Raven slowly, pondering every word, "She knows what she must do and even though she dreads it, there's something in her that is…different but I can't really tell what it is."

Robin nodded his unfocused eyes staring at something on the floor.

Raven continued,

"Her race is a warrior race so I think she might be used to all of this but still…" she trailed off once more, shaking her head, "Ever since I trained her to keep her emotions in check, she's been really closed off lately."

Robin's eyes instantly snapped back, blinking a few times before turning to Raven.

"Why did you start teach her?" he asked her curiously.

Raven smile sheepishly, something she didn't do too often.

"Her feelings are always so strong; they almost overpower me when she's around. When she found this out—well, you know how she is, she did everything she could to make me feel more comfortable. To tell you the truth, I kinda miss having her intensity in the air. It was…comforting."

She chuckled roughly and looked to the floor.

"We all try not to think about it but as time goes by, we get really frightened at the prospect of something happening to her."

"Nothing will happen to her," Robin responded instantly, almost automatically, "She can take care of herself and if anything happens, whatever it may be, we'll be there to help her."

Raven smiled darkly at him.

"And what? Have her forfeit the battle? She'll become a slave again by default."

Robin shrugged, his eyes rolling carelessly.

"We'll hide her," he said confidently though that was the last emotion he felt at the moment.

As for Raven, she sighed resignedly, knowing well that Robin was just as clueless about the whole situation and a lot more frightened by the prospect of something happening to the beautiful alien.

"I'm scared for her," Raven admitted suddenly, her voice low and deep and extremely sincere.

"So am I," Robin said just as quietly.

Raven turned to her fearless leader questionably, dreading to ask the question that had been haunting her for some time now.

"Would the Titans stay together without her?"

Robin was caught off guard by the question and hesitated before answering. Truth was, Starfire had been the one to travel into the future and if anyone knew the answer to that question, it Starfire herself. However, he was willing to give his own opinion on it.

"Probably not," he answered her truthfully, "We all bring something into the team, something that makes us stay together, but Starfire…. She was the reason why we became the Titans. If she hadn't dropped from the sky like she did, would we have met at all?"

"I don't know and I don't want to find out, either," said Raven with a humorless chuckle.

"Me neither," responded Robin grimly.

"She's so different from you, though. She's annoyingly sweet and really kind-hearted and she rarely gets as upset as you do. Not to mention she laughs a lot more than any of us and to tell you the truth, her laugh is kinds infectious. Kinda hard to not fall for your perfect opposite, huh?" Raven ended teasingly.

Robin raised an eyebrow at her, looking at her with a curious expression on his face.

"Are you falling for her?"

"Real funny, Dick," she deadpanned back, letting his abbreviated name roll out her tongue with malice.

"Not so loud---"

Raven scoffed but the teasing intent was still behind her violet eyes.

"Have you told her yet?"

"'Bout my name?" he asked dim-wittedly, straining to hear Raven's answer over the loud roar emitted by Beast Boy as he turned into a floogerbub, a large worm like animal that lived under the ground of the garden.

"Yes, oh smart one," she said impatiently.

"Yeah, she knows."

"And everything else?"

Robin frowned as he looked dead ahead, a small line creasing his forehead as he thought of how to explain it to Raven. For her part, she knew better than to bother him while he thought his response to her so she amused herself by looking at Beast Boy's changing forms.

"No," he said finally, "One reason is that she hasn't asked," he started and paused to keep thinking for a second before speaking once more, "and even if she did, she knows it's hard for me to talk about my life, no matter how much I care about her or how much she cares about me."

He turned to look at Raven pointedly, a lopsided grin on his face.

"You found out because you sneaked in my head," he raised his hands defensively as she angrily started to defend herself, "I don't blame you, relax, I'm just saying. But out of all people, maybe it was best you found out first. You and I are joined by this and out of the entire team, you are the one who understands the most about my past."

"'Cause I'm just as dark, dreary, and messed up as you are?" she asked aloofly and thanked him sarcastically as he nodded his head shamelessly and agreed whole-heartedly with her.

"Thanks," she told him darkly, "I'm honored. On the same note, if Starfire asks you, would you tell her?"

This time, Robin did not hesitate for he found no reason to.

"Of course. I know she'll be there for me, no matter what. She'll redeem me for everything bad I've ever done, even if I don't deserve it and she's saved me from my own darkness countless of times. Sometimes, I think to myself if there's anything I've done for her but I usually come up blank," he smiled at no one in particular, "I'm pretty lucky."

There was a pause and then…

"Ugh!" Raven responded disgustedly, "You guys are so saccharinely sweet. Please, spare me all the romantic, sugary babble. A simple yes would have sufficed."

Robin chuckled.

"Sorry. Got carried away. The inner romantic in me, you know?"

"Next time you feel like that's happening, warn me in advance so I can just shut you out. By the way, I think the string quartet that was playing in the background during your little speech there just got diabetes from all of your 'inner romantic' syrupy words."

"Real nice, Raven," said Robin cynically, "Just for that, I'm going to call Beast Boy over and tell him someone wants to play with him…"

"Dare to try and you will find yourself with no 'family jewels', do you understand?" she said threateningly and coming from Raven, that was saying something. Robin was too used to her, though, and laughed easily.

"Ohh Beast Boy…"

Slap.

"Ow!!"

Starfire went straight to her chambers, not wanting to talk to anybody or see anything. She flopped herself on her bed and ignored the rapping on her door. Galfore's voice stopped calling out her name and she was finally at peace. In some sense, anyway. Inside, she was a battlefield of emotions.

She knew what was happening and she would have bet anything in her world to say that Galfore knew as well. She buried her head in between her arms and sighed deeply. Her mind was racing and for a moment, she thought to herself that maybe, just maybe, it was not who she thought it was. The Gordanians kept hundreds of slaves at a time and she would be way too clever to be caught by them. Galfore himself had said she had escaped…but he had also said that he did not believe this excuse. Could it be that the Gordanians had broken her out of jail?

"Komand'er," whispered Koriand'er, breathlessly and anxiously. She knew, right there and then, that her life had just taken an unexpected turn and that her future had become more uncertain. Koriand'er could conjure up the energy to fight a slave, a total stranger who had nothing to do with her. Koriand'er would regret it as long as she lived, yes, but she could do it. Fighting her own sister was a different matter.

When Komand'er had first come to Earth and tried to send Koriand'er to jail, she had become upset enough to fight her own blood. However, Koriand'er had not gone as far as to battle her with outright ferocity and hatred. Instead, she felt indignant that her sister would do something like that to her so she saw no other choice but to apprehend her. Koriand'er had felt terrible to know that she had given her sister more to be sad about but most of all, she felt hurt that Komand'er still felt such a strong aversion toward her. She had hoped that, after sharing all those awful experiences with the Gordanians, it would have brought them closer. In fact, during their short conversations through their relays, they were quite civil to each other; one might even call it friendly.

She had obviously thought wrong.

Then her 'betrothal' pushed her over the edge. She would not have Tamaran ruled over by a psychotic empress. If there was ever a time she felt anything close to hatred for her sister, it was then. Komand'er did not even try to hide her dislike for Koriand'er as she mercilessly thrashed her around the palace. As for Koriand'er, she had also let her powers loose as well as her emotions. She tried to keep it about one thing and that was what was best for Tamaran. But really, her emotions had gotten the best of her and she accepted the fact she would have to fight her sister, for the crown, and did with a sense of a thrill.

That was not supposed to happen. Not between sisters, not when they had been so close once, and loved each other so much. It had been one small mistake on Koriand'er's part to set the whole relationship awry and there was not a single day she did not regret this.

Faced with the possibility of killing her sister or getting killed by her hand, Koriand'er moaned loudly and felt the tears perk behind her eyes.

She didn't know what to think to what to do. What did someone do under these circumstances?

She decided the best thing for her was to lock herself in the room and cry.

She did.

The Titans heard that the Emperor of Tamaran had returned and they eagerly went to meet him at the Grand Room. But he wasn't there. They waited for a while, eager and nervous to find out what had been decided between Star and the Gordanians. They sat around for a long while and just when Robin couldn't take it anymore and got up to find out what was taking so long, Galfore entered the room, looking exhausted. The Titans settled around the table, wondering why Starfire wasn't there and waited for Galfore to begin.

He took his time, looking around them carefully. Instantly, the Titans knew there was no good news to come.

"The Gordanians," started Galfore, "have accepted all our terms. The battle will be in a couple of days, on the next crescent moon to be exact and in these upcoming days, Koriand'er will train as much as possible."

The Titans nodded in response, finding nothing wrong. Yet.

"She will be able to use her powers to the fullest extent and if she wins the battle, she gains her freedom."

"But…" trailed Raven expectantly, wanting to know what was so wrong with the picture.

"Why isn't Star here?" asked Cyborg suddenly, expecting her to come in any minute but when she didn't, he got worried.

"Koriand'er has decided to rest for the evening," said Galfore carefully, wording his sentence carefully, "As for Lady Raven's question, I am afraid that is something Koriand'er must answer herself."

"What have you found out?" Robin asked scrutinizingly, knowing Koriand'er would not leave her teammates worried about her like this.

"As I have said," Galfore repeated tiredly, "This is something Koriand'er must tell you. I have no right to inform you of business that are hers."

"Is there anything else we need to know?" Raven asked and when Galfore shook his head, she excused herself from the table. She leaned in to speak quietly with Robin and walked away, leaving the Titans confused behind.

Raven needed to have a heart-to-heart talk with Starfire.

"It's me, Star,"

Knock, knock.

"Star, I know you're there!"

Knock, knock.

A growl was heard before the familiar ring of Raven's powers as she phased through the wall of the room. There, the black shadow transformed into Raven but Starfire did not even look up. She was lying on her bed, face down and her head hanging off the mattress, her long hair cascading all the way down and creating a red pool on the floor.

She mumbled something but Raven couldn't understand it so she rolled her eyes and walked over to her. She squinted her eyes at the young alien girl.

"Don't you get a headache lying like that?"

Another mumble and another sigh emitted from Raven.

"Star, I'm not the most patient girl in the world so work with me, ok?"

There was a pause where neither girl moved. Suddenly, Starfire threw her head back and kneeled on her bed, the torrent of hair looking like a gust of fiery wind as it blew back to rest against her back. Her face was a sad one, her eyes had no feeling, and the emotions coming from her, though weak and feeble, were of pure sadness and anxiety.

"What did you find out?" Raven asked her instantaneously, worried immediately by her composure.

She didn't speak but looked dead ahead, then her eyes fell to her bed, and then to her hands. She fidgeted for a second or so but during that time, her shields fell and the emotions leaked through, slowly but surely. Raven, who was used to dealing with emotions that weren't her own, had not been fully prepared to deal with such somber ones coming from Starfire, out of all people. The worry Raven felt mixed with Starfire's own had her reeling and Raven had to take a moment to breathe deeply and try to calm herself. Starfire was affecting her a bit too much for comfort.

Starfire snapped out of her trance and noticed this. With a great effort on her part, she built the shields once more and retracted her feelings. Raven turned to her with an odd look on her face.

"It's not good to keep those emotions bottled up inside of you."

"They are my emotions," said Starfire, her voice a tad scratchy, "It is not your burden to carry."

"No, but then again, what are friends for?"

Starfire gave a small, watery smile before throwing herself on top of Raven for a bone crushing hug.

"OH! Ok, yes, yes, we're very emotional but---ow…"

"I am very sorry to have hurt you," Starfire sobbed softly, "But I am so frightened."

"Yeah," Raven groaned, rubbing her arms as Starfire let her go, "That's what I came to talk to you about."

She looked at Starfire seriously.

"What have you found out?"

Green, watery eyes fell to her joined hands once more, her vision becoming blurry and her throat clogging, making her unable to speak for a couple of seconds. A couple of tears fell from her eyes to the mattress which only worried Raven more. As for Starfire, she was glad it had been Raven who had come to see her and not Robin. She did not feel as if she needed to be so strong in front of Raven who waited patiently for Starfire to speak.

"I am frightened by what the Gordanians have told me," he started slowly, sadly, "and the possibility of whom I will have to--- defeat."

She ended with a gulp for her throat had clogged up again with fear. She couldn't bear to say the other word and instead settled for 'defeat', a nicer synonym to death.

"What did they tell you?"

"Raven, I will not be able to retell this story to the others again so I will ask a favor and have you tell them, please."

With a nod, Raven told her to go ahead.

"I was sold to the Gordanians as a slave, along with my sister, Komand'er. We were the first Tamaranian slaves in the history of the Vegan system and this was due to the fact that Tamaranians, though fierce warriors, prefer peace over war. For a long time, Tamaran had been able to escape the wars from other planets and other intergalactic problems. However, all of that changed when Komand'er gave away our secrets to the Gordanians.

Since there had never been any Tamaranian slaves before, the Gordanians decided to put us to work with the other slaves. For a long time, Komand'er and I worked under one of the ruling houses of the Gordanians, for a cruel and harsh master who caused a lot of trouble for Komand'er and I. We--- suffered a lot under him and it was until Komand'er snapped that our master realized how much power we had. He was almost killed by Komand'er's hand but this made him realize that slavery was not meant for us. Instead, he sold us once more, for a hefty price, to a couple of scientists who realized our powers as well.

We were soon separated an shipped to a lab on a far away planet, a planet that the Gordanians had invaded a long time ago. There, I was subjected to many experiments in order to find out how I could harness the sun's powers and transform that into the power of flight and superstregth."

Starfire paused, taking a deep breath. The worst part was yet to come and the images were already floating through her brain. She took a peak at Raven's face and was not surprised to see her expressionless. However, her eyes gave everything away.

Starfire continued, her voice trembling.

"I do not know how much time passed but I was drugged repeatedly and there were times when I would wake up, not knowing where I was or even who I was. But those times were the lucky ones. There were other times where I would remember everything they had done to me. I was probed, poked, and violated in so many ways…. I would wake up, groggy and confused with my body in pain and covered in bandages.

But then, one day, I woke up to a strange sensation all over my body but especially around my hands and in my head. My hands and fingers burned and my head felt as if it was about to bursts. Unlike the other times, I was not constricted to my bed, mainly because they thought I would not wake up so soon. When I did, I felt around my head and I felt--- stitches… all around my temple."

Starfire had begun crying by then, sad quiet sobs that was worse than if she had been howling with grief.

"Your starbolts…" Raven trailed off in melancholy awe.

"Yes, they wanted a weapon powerful enough to take over worlds as they pleased and they managed to change my internal anatomy in order for me to shoot starbolts out of my hands and eyes. What they didn't change was the connection between my solar energy and its connection to my emotions. My powers are influenced by how I feel and at that moment, when I felt those stitches around my head and felt the itch in my hands, something in me snapped. I felt a rage, anger, sadness, exploited, all at once. I brought the entire planet to its knees that day and killed thousands."

She stopped here to wipe the tears from her eyes and breathe, trying to settle her emotions.

"After that episode, I was too weak to fly away or even lift my head. I was not used to the capacity of my new powers and it nearly destroyed me for I was already drained from all the operations the Gordanians had done. So backup came and decided to transport me to where I had been sold to at once. The Gordanians had washed their hands clean of me and I was to become the Citadel's problem. I knew then, at once, I was not to be treated like garbage anymore. I had heard the Gordanians talk about my sister but I was too tired to hear properly. However, I knew she too must have gone through what I went through. I decided to escape, no matter what, and that's how I ended up on Earth."

Starfire sighed deeply, her story done and though she felt emotionally drained, she certainly felt the weight she had been carrying all this time was off her shoulders. She turned to look at Raven and Star would have laughed at the shocked expression on her face had it not been for how exhausted she was.

"I fear that my sister has not escaped prison but rather, she was bought by the Gordanians to fight with me. I have caused nothing but trouble for them and in making us fight each other, they would lose one and keep the other. I believe they will do anything to make sure Komand'er wins the battle and gets rid of me."

"But there's something I don't get," Raven started, shaking her head to understand everything Starfire was saying, "So if Komand'er wins, as in she kills you, wouldn't she gain her freedom?"

Starfire smiled at Raven, a humorless, cynical smile.

"Technically, yes, according to what they have said but what they actually do is a different situation all together."

"They will find some way to keep her?"

"Yes. You see, because of Galfore and the fact that Tamaranians are fierce warriors, they will not try that with me. It would turn into a huge war and though the Gordanians love war, they do not have the Citadel by their side to help them. They would surely lose against Tamaran for out allies are many and powerful. They have searched and brought me into this mess to make sure that Komand'er gets rid of me which would get rid of the Gordanians' duty to the Citadel. It would not be their fault if the slave died fighting for her freedom. This would mean they could still sell Komand'er to the Citadel and forge an alliance with them once more."

Raven groaned, understanding what she was saying but damning at how confusing it all was.

Starfire's hands embraced Raven's and her jade eyes bore into her violet ones.

"Please do not make me tell these horrible things to the Titans. I ask of you one favor and that is for you to tell them about all of this. For today, I wish merely to sleep and rest."

Raven nodded, giving her a rare smile and got off the bed. She made her way to the door, feeling heavy with sadness for her friend. She turned to bid Starfire good night and left her room. She tried very hard, as she walked down the hall, to shut out her feelings, feeble as they may be. To Raven, they felt overwhelming. Never had she known or could have even guessed that Starfire had gone through all of that. They girl was always so damn energetic and happy.

And yet, she had experienced things that Raven could not even fathom. It broke Raven's heart to think back to her words, choked with emotions and memories at the abuse she had gone through. It amazed her that she could be so cheerful all the time and even more that she couold use her god-forsaken powers for good rather than the evil she was supposed to have become.

She made her way to the Grand Room, hoping to find the Titans there.

They had a lot to talk about.

A silence spread over the room, where a pin drop could have been heard easily. Their expressions were the same, a pained aggrieved look that haunted their eyes and soul. Raven had told them a more…abbreviated version of Starfire's story, more for their sake than for hers. Even as she skipped some of the more raw parts of the story, Robin would increasingly become agitated and his fist clenched to the point of turning white. When the story was finished and Raven had delivered the final blow, not even Robin could manage a meager word.

"Dudes…" Beast Boy breathed lowly, "I never would guessed."

"Yeah, man," continued Cyborg just as low as Beast boy, "She's always so cheery, you know…"

"I need to talk to her," Robin said immediately, getting up to walk over to the door but Raven stopped him.

"She's sleeping now," she told him quietly, "Leave her for tonight."

Robin hesitated, his face a mask of pain. With a dejected sigh, he sat back down.

"What are we going to do about this?" he asked to no one in particular. The team shrugged, almost as one, lost in the shock of the story and now, at the prospect of losing Starfire permanently. Like Starfire, they couldn't manage the word 'death' to enter their thoughts.

"Man, I'm beyond lost right now," said Cyborg, shaking his head and giving him a helpless look.

"Ditto," piped in Beast Boy and raven nodded in agreement, adding,

"If we do something to stop the battle or try to help her, the Gordanians will win and get them both. What can we do? As far as I can see, all we can do is just be there for her."

The Titans nodded distractedly and watched as the embers of the fire began to dim. The night was ending but their troubles were just beginning.

Dudes, its about to get real exciting!

My muse has slowly returned, mainly because of watching the latest Batman episode where Nightwing is along side him. I truly believe that my first love will always be a fictional character rather than a real person. How sad...