I would like to thank "Duchess Norrington" once again for allowing me to use Isabella. She was very kind in doing so. Thank you to my reviewers and hopefully this shall satisfy your thirst...

I was on nerves. I could not control my shaking. And the worst part was Cutler did not suspect a thing. He had not one fleeting thought about what I was going to do. I was to become the very opposite of what I stood for. I was a hypocrite. Here I was, all mighty with wealth and jewels and a husband who at least cared for me and I was to run out in the middle of the night to meet the man I truly loved.

I felt like a common whore.

How was I ever to go to church again? I could not pray to God and all the while be cavorting with another man.

Well…I had not slept with James. And there was a possibility that he would keep me from compromising my honor. There also was the slight chance of him truly loving Isabella. Then what would I do? Ignore the fact that the only one who gave me happiness, besides my children, was married and starting a family of his own?

In misery, that's what I was. Seeing him was supposed to cure me of it. But no. I was to be a nervous wreck with what if's crowding into my head that I could not even form a sentence.

Aiden began to cough uncontrollably during dinner. That was when I knew his cold was something more than just a small cold. I had Fanny put him to bed and gave him some warm milk to help him sleep. Cutler simply kissed me good night as he was drained from the day's activities.

Everything seemed to be going along perfectly. Why? Everything was supposed to be in chaos. Cutler should have been undressing me by now. Delilah should have been screaming to stay up longer than her bedtime. Aiden should have been saying my name a thousand times until I paid attention to him.

But they house was silent. All was still.

Now was the time to make my choice. I had forty minutes left until I was to meet him. How was I going to get out? What was I to do if someone caught me? I decided that it would just be best if I dressed in dark colors so as to not attract attention. My heart thumped as I stole into the gardens and down the side of the cliff. Down and down and down I went until I reached the bottom. Surely someone was looking for me. Surely my name was being called. I listened…

Nothing but the small breeze from the ocean. Something made a sound from around the corner. I laid up flat against the stones and waited. I knew his steps too well and when he turned the corner, I smiled in relief. He walked forward, motioning for me to follow and into a small crack of the cliffs we went. Down through a tunnel and threw more cracks we traveled until finally we reached a room lit with candles. It was all made of stone, covered in furs and various treasures.

"James…this is absolutely beautiful!"

"Yes, and lucky for me no one has discovered it." He paused to look me over. "Has anyone suspected anything? Are they searching for you?"

I shook my head.

"Cutler is most odd when it comes to controlling you lately."

"He trusts me."

His eyebrows arched. "And after this meeting?"

I blushed. "I am not quite sure what you want of me James? Do you want me to ignore you, leave you be, let you live a life with your precious Isabella?"

He sighed. "That shall be the continuing question throughout my life. I will always want you. You are like an intoxicating addiction. Have it too many times and it can kill you…but if not enough than it drives one mad."

"And," I took a breath, "do you want me?"

His eyes were now intruding into my soul and then dropped his head in agony. "I will always want you."

"Do you love me?"

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow…"

My eyebrows furrowed. "Do you love her?"

No answer.

I pressed forward. "You love her like you would a dear friend…but she is nothing else…?"

He shook his head. "I think I do love her. Though it is not as strong as it is for you…I am torn between two women."

"Then what am I doing here? If I cannot have you fully, then I cannot have you at all."

I turned to go, but his hand was on my arm, singing my pores with adoration. "Do not leave me. Too long I have been without your company and now that you are here…I shan't give that up."

He swung me around until I was in his arms. I was limp like a jellied pastry. He leaned down and took hold of the nape of my neck and kissed me for the first time in years. I cried out as he found my favorite spot to be kissed, remembering every line and shape of my skin. I was pressed to him…becoming one with him. I could not control myself. I knew what I was doing as I lifted his waist coat from his shoulders. I knew every movement of my hands as I unbuttoned his frock, as I threw off his shirt to reveal his muscled chest in all its pale beauty.

He even knew what he was doing as he untied the back of my dress, leaving my corset there for his personal preference, and removing my pannier. He knew what he was doing as we fell onto the floor and I seized to him.

But the best part was I did not give a damn.