Chapter 13: Something To Hold Onto

Alice sat in her window seat, overlooking the castle gardens. Pressing her lips together, she gazed up at the moon and wished to be anywhere else but there.

All was still.

With a desperate sigh, she rested her head against the pane of glass, closing her eyes.

A tournament.

What could be worse?

Well, marrying James in two weeks would be worse, she supposed. But still! The idea that she had to simply marry because someone won her nearly made her sick to her stomach.

Whatever happened to love? she thought. Her mother seemed to love her father, although she wasn't sure why. Esme was one of the kindest, most sincere person on earth. How she had ended up loving her father was beyond Alice. No two people seemed more unalike.

The King had made if blatantly clear that night at dinner that there would be no convincing him otherwise. The date of the tournament was two weeks from that night. The details were going into place as she sat there filled with dread. It was happening, and there was no stopping it.

She was running out of time.

Maybe he's not a fighter. Perhaps he isn't as cunning as he seems. He might not win, right? She thought to herself, gazing up at the moon. It was distorted through the glass, it's warped view glowing through the pane. Nonsense, her logical side chided. Of course James was a fighter. He was too smug and asinine not to be. People like that always seemed to get what they wanted.

Unfortunately, she was what he wanted.

He doesn't love me. He only wants into my family. He wants power.

Alice swallowed the lump in her throat, thinking of Jasper. She hated being so powerless! And wondering what he was doing all the time! Was he thinking of her?

Biting her lip, she fidgeted in her seat. This was nonsense. She had never been the damsel in distress. The typical, weak little woman. That was not her; it never had been, and it never would be.

Something had to be done.

Her mind had been made up. Glancing out at the garden, she knew what she had to do.

She would sneak out and see him for herself.

Alice stood, flying to her closet. It was too risky to borrow some commoner clothes from Angela; she would just have to make due. Throwing on a plain green dress, she tied her hair in a simple side braid. She was slipping on her shoes when there was a soft tap at her bedroom door.

Rushing over to it, she cracked it open it open with her heart in her throat.

"Edward?" she asked hopefully.

Her bronze haired, green eyed brother poked his head in, his eyes bright and wild.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Who else would come calling at this hour?" she whispered, a faint smile dancing on her lips. He walked in, hugging her tightly.

"I don't come empty handed at such an hour as this - please, sister - penance, for my intrusion," he joked, standing to the side.

Alice threw her hand over her mouth, stifling a happy scream.

There, in the hallway, stood Jasper.

"Oh my goodness!" she squeaked, her green eyes going wide. A grin split across Jasper's face, his dull eyes lighting up at the sight of her. They flew at each other, Alice jumping up to wrap her arms around his neck. He gasped and held her close, burying his nose in her hair. He held her against his body, her toes dangling above the floor.

"I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Believe me, so did I!"

"I missed you."

"I missed you as well."

Forgetting her brother was present, Alice leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. He welcomed it, kissing her back whole heartedly. She sighed into his mouth, relaxing against his taught, muscular frame as he deepened their kiss. He tasted her slowly, his tongue running across her lips, over her teeth, and meeting with hers.

"Never a kiss so sweet," he muttered in her ear, pulling her closer to him.

"Jasper…" she whimpered, tears springing to her eyes.

"Alice," he said reverently, reaching up to stroke her head. She leaned into his touch, her eyes falling closed.

"Your voice is like….music to me. I thought I'd never hear you say my name again. Say it again. I want to hear it," she demanded.

"Alice," he said slowly.

"Again."

"Alice," he replied again. His voice was lower, raspier and….Alice bit her lip, finally remembering that her brother was present.

She turned around, both of them meeting Edward's amused gaze. He leaned against the wall, stroking his jaw in mock annoyance. A playful smirk came across his face.

"No no, please continue," he joked, giving Jasper a once over.

"Pardon my…..rather inappropriate actions, your majesty," Jasper said sincerely, his voice giving Alice chills.

Edward snorted, moving forward.

"I'm no more your majesty than the sky is purple. Please, call me Edward."

Jasper raised one of his blonde eyebrows, watching as Edward extended is hand. Jasper accepted it, giving it a firm shake. Edward glanced at Alice, his eyes still playful.

"I make my leave. I'll leave you two…alone," he snickered to himself.

Alice and Jasper exchanged a shocked look.

"You're leaving?" she asked.

Edward looked around expectantly, his green eyes wide.

"I'm sorry, is there to be a party here later?"

"No, you daft weasel!" Alice giggled. "You're leaving us here alone?"

She cringed, hoping she didn't sound to hopeful and forward at the notion of having Jasper alone in her room. But she did want to have him alone All to herself. She found herself biting her lip at the thought.

Edward smirked again, meeting Jasper's eyes. Jasper glanced down at Alice, a frown on his face.

"You willingly let me into your sister's room?" he asked timidly.

Edward met Alice's gaze, and she begged him to say yes.

"I do," Edward replied with a nod. He glanced down the hallway behind them, his eyes listless. "But make haste. You have until dawn, both of you."

Alice's jaw dropped open in amazement. Jasper backed away, sensing they needed some privacy.

Alice rushed to Edward's side as he walked further out into the hall.

"He can stay here?"

Edward nodded, casting a glance over his shoulder. The hall was quiet, but a nervous air had settled over them. "Lock the door, and I'll return before dawn to get him. You only have a few hours. I'll tap three times, silence, and then one more tap. I mean it, Alice."

She blushed, glancing back into her room at Jasper as he sat awkwardly on her bed.

"You'd leave me with him?"

"He's noble," Edward said, clearly making an excuse.

"How could you know?"

"Well, we fought. Then we talked. Now we're friends."

"Edward! You fought him?"

"I thought he was in intruder!" Edward hissed, laughing at her antics. "Forget this now, Alice! I'm leaving and I shall return then. Spend your time as you see fit," he muttered.

"But…"

"Do you not wish to be alone?"

"No, I do, but…Edward, don't you worry about my virtue? Leaving me with a man like Jasper?"

Edward bowed his bronzed head a little, blushing slightly. "Alice…..I fought the man. I saw the adoration in his eyes for you. He was willing to die at my sword, just knowing he did every last thing he could to see you before you married another. I'd say your virtue is….completely…yours to do with what you will. Now goodnight. I'll return before dawn," he repeated turning to leave. She watched him quietly slink down the hallway, and soon he was gone.

Alice spun around, her heart suddenly racing wildly in her chest.

She was alone.

With Jasper.

And she was wasting precious time. Without another breath, she rushed into her room and closed the door, sliding the deadbolt into place. Jasper raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Are you alright?"

She rushed over to her bed where he sat. His arms were around her in a second, hugging her close.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable-"

"-Nonsense, how could you?"

Jasper pulled away, his smile gentle. Reaching up, he pushed an unruly strand of hair away from her eyes and paused, memorizing her face.

"You're here alone with me. A man. And you don't seem worried."

"You don't worry me. In fact, you do the opposite," she replied, pecking his cheek. She giggled out of sheer giddiness at the thought.

"Do you invite many men into your bedchamber late at night?"

"I do not!"

He chuckled, brushing her hair back again. The stubborn strand wanted to hang beside her face, blocking his view of her perfect features.

Jasper leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"You still might not."

"So all we have is tonight?"

"It might be," she said sadly, biting her lip.

He nodded somewhat somberly, his green eyes flicking up to meet hers.

"Then let us make tonight last forever, shall we then?"

"I'd love nothing more," she agreed, leaning forward. Their lips crashed together, their hands finding solace on each other's bodies. He deepened his kiss once more, yearning to taste the sweetness that was Alice. She moaned as his tongue probed her mouth, exploring, tasting.

It was a sinful version of heaven.

"Alice?" he asked, pulling back to look at her. She stood between his legs as he sat on the bed, her hands on his shoulders.

"If I forget to tell you tonight….I love you."

A slow smile spread across her lips. "You do?"

"More than life itself. I realized that as your brother had his sword against my chest. I would have died happily if your face was the last thing I saw."

"Don't say things like that," she whispered, touching his cheek. He dipped his head in embarrassment, shaking it slightly. She reached up, running her fingers though his honeyed locks.

"It's the truth. I'd die for you Alice. Gladly."

"But you won't," she reminded him gently. "Not if I have any say."

"You might not," he pointed out.

"We mustn't talk of things like that. They're unpleasant. Only good things tonight. Before tomorrow. Tomorrow…."

"What?"

"Tomorrow it all becomes a dream. So let us enjoy this, no?"

He nodded again, pulling her closer. "I plan to."

Jasper leaned forward to kiss her again, but she stopped him.

"Why would you forget to tell me you love me?"

He chuckled to himself, shaking his head. "Being in the presence of such beauty distracts me."

Alice shook her head and smiled. "You do have a way with words, I'm afraid," she whispered, leaning towards him. He sat on the edge of her bed, holding her between his legs. She leaned further and further forward until their lips collided in a sweet, searing kiss. He groaned inwardly, reaching his strong arms around her middle. Pulling her closer, he began to lean back on the bed and pull her with him. Alice giggled and went with him, the two of them collapsing on the soft comforter with another round of laughter.

Jasper paused, holding her sides as she straddled him on her bed.

"Do you want me to leave?" he whispered.

Alice smiled down at him, her hair falling down around his face as she hovered over his body.

"Never," she whispered back. "Stay….stay with me," she pleaded softly, running the tip of her finger down his chiseled jaw. He shivered slightly at her touch, giving a sharp intake of breath.

"But you are a lady. A royal lady at that. Who am I to enter your bedchamber at night and-" he stopped himself, biting his lush lip. Alice sighed, watching his teeth graze over the soft flesh.

"And what?"

He smirked to himself, his fingers tightening on her waist.

"Admire your virtue, and yet have to beseech you to reconsider it."

Alice bit her lip, the weight of his statement sinking in. He stared up at her with his bright green eyes.

"You want me or you don't, Jasper."

He grunted and slid out from underneath her. "I cannot do this. You will regret it."

Alice huffed, sitting up on her side. "Who are you to tell me this?"

Jasper sat up as well, heaving a sigh. "You do not wish to lay with me tonight, Alice."

Her determination set in. "You may own my heart, Jasper, but you do not get to tell me my wishes. I want you to stay, Jasper!"

"And what?"

"And be with me. This is….this could be the last night. This could be our only chance.'

"Precisely! This could be the last time I see you. I couldn't do that to you," he said softly, reaching up to touch her face.

Alice recoiled slightly, hurt. "If this is the last time I see you, and….and if tomorrow I should belong to someone else, then….then I would want no more than for tonight to offer myself to you completely. I love you, Jasper. More than life itself," she replied, repeating his own words back to him. Reaching up, she touched his jaw again.

Jasper heaved a sigh, the guilt he felt still apparent on his face. "I will stay because you ask it."

"Stay then….and show me you love me. If I belong to someone else tomorrow, at least let me belong to you tonight Jasper."

He smiled, reaching over to pull her into an embrace. Alice hugged him back tightly, burying her nose in his neck. She inhaled deeply, memorizing his scent.

"If I have to live my life…belonging to him," she replied, cringing, "then let me at least have a pleasant memory to cling to."

As she spoke, hot tears sprang to her eyes. It was the truth; if James won the tournament as she suspected he would, then she would surely be expected to marry him. She fully expected him to do anything - cheat even!- to win. If it wasn't James, then it was another stranger that she did not love. Either way she would lose. She needed something to hold on to.

Something to remind her that Jasper had been real.

"Please," she whispered. "Please do not take this away from me."

Jasper swallowed hard, his mind a mixture of passion and fury. Passion for the woman in front of him, offering herself so freely. Fury for the choice that had been taken away from her.

"You will not belong to him. At least not while I'm around," he replied, pulling away to look at her.

"Do you mean that?"

He gave her a playful smirk. "More than life itself."

"Shush," she chided, him, placing her hand on his cheek. He leaned into it, his eyes flashing up to give her a child-like grin.

"I shall stay if you wish it….but only because you are the Princess."

"Princess of your heart?"

"Of course," he sighed, leaning into her mouth. She kissed him sweetly, shivering slightly as his tongue slid over her lip. Alice fell back onto her soft bed and Jasper followed.

Alice was sure he was still having seconds thoughts. His movements were a little guarded and slow, and she could feel his nervousness too. When she was honest with herself she was nervous as well, however, the thought of someone else being her first (or worse, James!) kept her calm and focused.

"Show me you love me," she whispered urgently in his ear. Her words sent a shiver down his spine, making his body tingle to the tips of his toes.

"As you wish," he answered back, dipping his head to kiss her neck. Alice sighed as his slightly chapped lips made a fiery trail down her neck. He hummed against her skin and it gave her goose bumps.

Her hands found their way to his loose shirt. They trembled as she pulled at it, struggling to get it over his head. He chuckled, complying.

"Do you have a prior engagement? Tea with the Queen?"

Alice snorted, turning on her side to untie her dress.

"No, of course not!'

"Then why are you hurrying?"

"Jasper, we only have so much time!"

"Alice….I'm sure Edward won't be back for quite some time now. We have until dawn, didn't you hear him? Relax," he pleaded, trying not to laugh.

She gazed at his sculpted chest, the moonlight shining on his tan skin. He was chiseled like the marble statues in the great hall. Alice licked her lips.

"My erm…mind was elsewhere. Forgive me," Alice mumbled, pulling her dress down. Jasper shifted off of her, chuckling to himself as she awkwardly fumbled out of it and kicked it off the bed. She was left in her undergarments. She had never felt so exposed, yet, she wasn't panicking nearly as much as she should have been..

This is Jasper, she reminded herself. The frazzled butterflies in her stomach soon calmed, and she was able to think clearly. Jasper was on his side next to her, propped up on his elbow. The moonlight streaming through her window allowed her to see his long, lean torso as lay next to her.

"Is something wrong?" Jasper asked quietly, reaching his hand out. He touched the side of her face, his hand trembling a bit.

"No, nothing is wrong," she insisted, turning her head to look at him.

"Alice…."

"Well…"

"Tell me."

"I'm a little nervous. Have…have you done this before?"

Jasper chuckled, weaving his fingers in her brown locks. He gently pulled the fastening from her braid, allowing her long, wavy hair to call out of place.

"No, Alice, I have not. Is that what was bothering you?"

Alice shrugged, letting her eyes fall closed for a moment as she enjoyed the feeling of Jasper's fingers running through her hair.

"I suppose," she admitted, opening her eyes again. He smiled down at her, shaking his head. "I'm ruining this with all of my babbling, aren't I?"

Jasper laughed harder, his chuckles making her feel better. He was obviously as nervous as she was.

"You wouldn't be my Alice if you were behaving any other way," he admitted. "I love your babbling."

Alice grinned to herself, shrugging. "If I'm yours, then kiss me."

Jasper looked down at her, the green of his eyes barely visible in the moonlight.

"I cannot deny the Princess," he said. His voice was so soft and sweet that it pulled on her heart.

He kissed her mouth softly, his lips dragging down her neck. She shivered as their warmth brushed over her skin. A small sigh escaped her as he captured her hip in his large hand, placing an open mouthed kiss on her collar bone.

"Is this alright?" he asked, glancing up at her.

She nodded, biting her lip. It was actually more than just alright.

"Yes, yes, just please…don't stop," she begged.

He smiled against her skin, pulling down the strap of her under-slip. He kissed the newly exposed skin and made her shiver all over again. This game continued for a few more minutes as Jasper kissed down her body, removing her undergarments as he went. He placed kisses everywhere, making her entire body sing with need. Soon, she was completely bare before him and beginning to feel very exposed.

"You…you should remove your trousers…" she said hesitantly, touching the belt of his pants. "That way…we'll….we'll both be…."

"Say no more," he said softly. Alice averted her eyes as Jasper slid out of the rest of his clothes.

"Don't be nervous, Alice."

"I'm not…I know this is what I want," she replied, reaching out to touch him. She ran her hand down his muscled arm, her fingers melting into the warmth of his skin. He leaned over, covering her body with his. They both moaned as their skin finally made full contact. He kissed her deeply, their tongues intermingling and exploring. Her body felt alive as every inch of her skin molded with his. Jasper's kisses made her skin tingle in the most pleasant way, and a warmth began to spread over her entire body.

"Alice," he whispered, running his hands down her body. She exhaled shakily, turning her head so that his lips met hers again. The urgency of their kisses slowed, turning more gentle. It was as they knew what they were building up to.

He groaned again, clutching her sides as he kissed her. Their bodies were pressed up against each other firmly. Her nervousness faded away as Jasper touched her, his hands exploring her body.

"I love you Alice. More than I could ever love anything, or anyone. I love you so much," he gasped.

"I love you too," she whispered as he kissed down her neck. She wound her fingers in his hair again, arching her back slightly. His mouth found her breast and she felt her jaw go slack.

"Oh Jasper…I…."

He smiled against her bare skin. "For once, my Alice is speechless. I need to experiment with this more…"

He continued to tease and pleasure her with his mouth on her skin until her body as screaming.

"Please, Jasper….I…."

"You're still sure?" he asked, looking down at her. She ran her hands down his back, stopping just above his rear.

"Of course. You'll take care of me. I trust you, Jasper."

Alice lay back against the blankets, waiting with anticipation. Jasper moved his hand between them, guiding it down to the place where her body wanted him most. She sighed, her eyes losing focus as he touched her softly. Her hands gripped the bed, her back arching in pleasure. He continued to please her, sighing as he felt her wetness. He positioned himself between her legs and moved himself against her. Alice gasped, making Jasper look down at her in alarm.

"Alice?"

"No, n-no…that was a good gasp. Very…good gasp," she assured him, gripping his hip. She pulled him in closer, wanting to feel every inch of him. Her fingernails dug into his sides as he intimately touched her. Her heart was in her throat, but she desperately wanted this to happen. She briefly wished Rosalie had been able to share her experience with this sort of thing with her - she was excited but blindly so.

"Please…" she panted, pulling him closer. She wanted to feel him so badly that it almost hurt. Jasper obliged, rolling himself on top of her completely. There was some pressure and slight pain, but Alice gritted her teeth through it. She tried to concentrate on everything but the discomfort as their bodies finally connected.

"Are you…alright?" he asked between breaths.

She nodded, putting her hands on his shoulder. As the pressure increased, she closed her eyes and let her fingertips press into his arm. Jasper's breathing sped up, and she felt a terrible stretching.

Jasper's eyes opened and met hers, a brief look of panic spreading across his features.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No, no, don't stop," she begged, biting her lip.

"Alice, I don't want to hurt-"

"-please!"

He paused, watching her closely.

"Jasper…I want this. I need it. You said yourself you cannot deny me," she whispered.

He stared down at her, his eyes full of emotion.

"You…will be the death of me."

Alice felt a smile spread over her cheeks.

He resumed his movements, and soon the pain faded away. His movements came easier, and she found her body respond. Being with Jasper like this was nothing like she could have ever imagined, and nothing could have prepared her for it.

Opening her eyes, she looked up at him as he moved his body with hers. Their gazes met, and they shared a small smile.

I love you, he mouthed.

She could only smile.

The feeling of Jasper making love to her was everything she needed - it was all she would ever want. She knew she would need to remember the feeling of his body against hers. The way he breathed his promise to always love her in her ear. The tender way he touched her skin. The feeling of his lips as they worshipped her every curve.

The memories would be all she would have to cling to.

The cloud of uncertainty that had been looming over them seemed to fade, and they were left with only each other. Alice lifted her head off the pillows, kissing Jasper with everything she had.

If tonight was the last night she would have with him, then she would give him every part of her. Everything she possessed would be his.

Jasper leaned over, placing a soft kiss on her still damp temple. Alice exhaled shakily, pulling the blanket tighter around her body. Her body was still in a bit of shock, as was she.

"Do you feel alright?"

She nodded against his chest, her head still spinning slightly. Her mind was still trying to wrap itself around what had just happened.

"I am not worthy to sleep under this sky tonight. Not even heaven could hold me down," he murmured in her ear. She smiled to herself, inhaling the sweet yet masculine scent that was so much her Jasper.

She sighed against his chest, closing her eyes as she tried to savor the moment. Alice wanted to remember everything about that night so that she could call upon the memory later….when things were perhaps not so pleasant. The image of Jasper above her, making her moan and writhe and tingle with pleasure was something she was sure to never forget.

However, she knew she needed to come clean about something.

"There is to be a tournament," she said softly, her voice cracking. She wanted to cry just thinking about it.

"A tournament? For what?"

Alice sighed. "For me."

Jasper sat up on his elbow, surprise registering on his face. "A tournament…for…for you? For your hand?"

She nodded. "I threw such a fit with father, and Edward coming here didn't help matters. He finally relented and announced it today. I suppose I should be thankful….at least now I have a small chance that my future husband won't be James."

"Let me get this right; whoever wins this tournament gets to marry you?"

"Yes. Father said he was inviting every nobleman in the entire area."

"Hmm," he grunted, returning down to the bed. She curled herself against him, no longer bashful. They were quiet for a few moments, absorbing the peacefulness that had settled over them. She dozed in his arms for several too-short hours, reluctantly rising when she saw the sky begin to fade from black to a pale blue.

"It will be dawn soon," he whispered sadly, touching her cheek. She nodded, heaving a sad sigh.

"I'd say with you forever if I could, Alice. You know this, right?"

She nodded. They each got dressed just in time to kiss once more before there were three short knocks and then another final knock on the door. Edward retrieved him, and Alice was once more alone.

Alice was sitting in her window seat, watching the sun rise as Victoria entered later that morning. She hadn't been able to go back to sleep after Jasper had left. It felt wrong to be in her bed alone after their night together.

"I trust you slept well?"

Alice glanced at the unkempt bed in the corner of her eye, trying not to smile.

"I did."

Victoria poured fresh water into her cleaning basin and set the pitcher down with a loud clatter. Alice jumped, frowning over at her. Victoria's presence unsettled her more than usual today.

"Would you like me to braid your hair today?"

Alice looked up into Victoria's pale blue eyes, trying to bite back a nasty comment.

"No thank you," she replied, turning away. Victoria walked around the room, tidying up while she let an annoyed sigh slip every few minutes. Alice ignored her until she spoke.

"You know, this tournament still isn't going to change anything. James is a skilled fighter; he will still win. And then where will you be? Pity, making your father look so foolish…"

"How would you know he's a skilled fighter?" Alice snapped.

Victoria looked up in alarm, her blue eyes surprised.

"He…just seems like he would be, I suppose," she stuttered. "He's a strong man who doesn't get deterred easily."

"Maybe you should marry him," Alice grumbled, shifting in her seat. Victoria looked up, but said nothing.

"Do you think fighting with your father will do anything besides make you look foolish?"

Alice turned back to the window, frowning to herself. She was more annoyed than anything. What did Victoria know anyway?

"Perhaps it would do you service to worry about your own troubles, yes?" Alice said softly.

Victoria raised a red eyebrow. "Just doing my job, Princess."

The King looked up as his daughter entered the garden's gazebo. She sat quietly at the breakfast table that had been set up outdoors in her mother's garden.

"Good morning sweetheart," Esme greeted her, reaching up for her hand. Alice kissed her mother on the cheek, taking a seat next to her.

"We thought it might be nice to eat outside," she said, gesturing to the wide array of breakfast food in front of them.

"Lovely," Alice agreed, taking a seat. Her father nodded at her, his expression as guarded as hers. She was still not happy over the news of the tournament, and it was obvious. Tension was evident at the table.

After a few minutes, Edward and Bella walked outside with Renesmee and sat down.

"Father," Edward said with a nod.

"Edward. I trust your visit home is welcoming?"

Her brother nodded, giving her a glance. Bella looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there. Meanwhile, Renesmee was staring Carlisle down with a slightly accusatory gaze. Alice sighed, picking at some fruit on her plate.

"Many things have changed….although some definitely have not," Edward replied coldly.

Carlisle cleared his throat, and Esme touched his hand as if to calm him. He stared at his son with his cold blue eyes, his gaze unfaltering.

They sat together for an uncomfortable breakfast, the only conversation coming from Esme as she got to know her granddaughter. After breakfast, Alice made her way up to the library. If she couldn't live her fairytale, she would at least spend the afternoon reading about someone else's.

Turning the corner, she gasped as she was suddenly pinned to the wall.

"Well hello…." James purred in her ear.

Alice hissed, a curse word slipping from lips at the sight of him.

"Now is that a way to greet your future husband? I think not," he said in a low, menacing voice. She pushed against him, and he pushed her violently back.

"Get away from me," she hissed.

"Now now, Princess. I only want to chat. What do you have up your sleeve, hmm? A tournament?"

"It was father's idea," she argued back, her eyes narrowing at him. He laughed bitterly, reaching up to touch her face.

Alice felt her skin crawl.

"You agreed to this idea awfully quickly. What's the use? You know I'll find a way to win. And when I do…"

"I hope you fall flat on your face," Alice spat. James continued, ignoring her words.

"And when I do win," he replied, ignoring her sharp words, "I'll be king. And there won't be a damn thing in hell anyone can do about it. Have a nice day, Princess. While you still can."

James' words were still cutting through Alice's thoughts as she sat in her lessons with Angela. She couldn't concentrate on anything, even though Angela was attempting to teach things that interested her. However, even the study of Arthurian Legend could not contain Alice's thoughts today.

Ever time she thought she could concentrate, images of the night before would intrude.

"Are you blushing?" Angela asked softly. Alice jumped a little, biting her lip.

"Erm…no, why?"

Angle sighed, pulling her spectacles from her face. She set them on the table with a soft click and turned to Alice.

"Is everything alright? You seem….really distracted."

Alice looked away, trying to decide what to tell her friend. Angela was only six or seven years older than her and had always been her friend of sorts. She knew she could trust her.

"Angela…."

Her teacher looked at her, eying her suspiciously. "Is this about your upcoming wedding or the tournament?"

Alice shifted in her chair, the wood beneath her squeaking.

"Both," she admitted. Angela's deep brown gaze cut through her, exposing the truth. Her kind, soft spoken tutor had always been an eager ear and a shoulder to cry on. Now was no different.

"I….I can't marry James!"

Angela's jaw dropped slightly. "Alice, you….why not?"

"Honestly, Angela!"

"Well…surely you have said something before now?"

"I have, and father won't listen! He is insisting that I marry someone I don't love when I think the idea is truly archaic and pointless! To marry someone I don't love is like throwing myself off a cliff."

Angela clicked her tongue. "Don't be dramatic."

"Have I ever been anything else?"

"Well no, but…."

"Exactly. And when I'm forced to marry James, then how will I end up? A stifled woman with no hope for anything better. He'll quiet me every chance he gets-"

"-okay, now you're just being dramatic."

"Well, fine, but….I just know I'll be unhappy. We've nothing in common, and I shall dream of nothing but the day he walks off a cliff."

"Alice!"

"He deserves nothing less!" Alice shot back. "Angela, can you honestly see me being happy with James? Standing by his side for the rest of my days?"

Angela looked away, pursing her lips. "Alice, I firmly believe that our own destiny lies not with fate - but with ourselves. If you truly believe that James is not for you, then….I think you should fight it," Angela replied softly, wringing her hands in her lap. She looked up at Alice, whose face had softened.

"You do?"

Angela looked up at her with a nervous gaze. "Of course, you didn't hear that from me."

Alice felt a lump form in her throat. If Angela, her meek and mild teacher would fight for a love that she believed in, then so should she.

"Oh Angela, I love you!" Alice wailed, throwing her arms around her friend.

Her mind had been made up.

Fight she would.

Later that day, she tried to cheer herself up by playing with her niece, Renesmee. She collected her old dolls that she had refused to get rid of at the end of her child years and gave them to Renesmee to play with. They were on the back terrace of the castle with Edward and Bella, enjoying cool drinks and the afternoon sun. Alice was determined to get to know her niece before they returned home.

"Why does this doll have short hair and this one long?" Renesmee asked, holding the dolls together.

"Because Rosalie and I liked to cut their hair. Well, I actually burned most of her long hair off on a curling rod that I left on too long," Alice admitted, smoothing the fabric of the doll's dress.

Renesmee giggled, covering her mouth with her tiny hands.

"Don't do my hair!" she squealed. Alice laughed with her, silently wishing she could be young again. She wished she had never grown up; things were too complicated this way.

She glanced out at the gardens where there had once been a meadow. It felt like just yesterday she was running out there to play with Rosalie and they were no more than children.

"You can ask Victoria, I can't even do my own hair - she has to do it!" Alice laughed.

"Who's Victoria?" Renesmee asked, tilting her bronze head to the side inquisitively.

Alice glanced at Edward and Bella, who both gave her a small shrug.

"She's….."

"Is she your best friend?" Renesmee asked.

"No…why do you think that?"

"She's just…always around," she answered in her high, smooth voice. She brushed some curls out of her face. "Jacob is my best friend, and he's always around."

"Oh," Alice replied, nodding. "Well, Victoria is a little different."

Renesmee glanced back at the castle where Victoria surely lurked, a look of pure distaste gracing her small features.

"She's always so serious…she just seems mean."

"Renesmee!" Bella interjected quickly, her brown eyes wide. Edward smirked a little, but looked on as they enjoyed the rest of the afternoon. "Be nice!"

Not long after, the back doors to the castle flew open and her mother came running out.

"A woman only glows like that when she has a secret," Edward called to her as she quickly made her way over to them.

"My, you're a quick boy," Esme said, rushing over to kiss the top of his head. She grinned at the rest of them, her heart shaped face lit up with a dazzling smile.

"Tell us your news then, mother," Alice urged, standing up. She brushed the dirt of her dress, moving to stand next to the Queen.

"We're to have a Ball! The night before the tournament."

"A Ball? Edward asked, his face twisting up in slight distaste.

"Yes, well…it's only fair that Alice can get to know the men who will be vying for her attentions," Esme said, giving her daughter a smile. "What fun will that be?"

Alice looked at Edward, who she could tell was silently thinking something to himself. She could practically see the wheels turning in his head.

"What if it would be a masquerade mother? That would only add to the excitement. Then the suitors would have to win our sister over with not only their fighting ability, but also their conversational skills? That way they cannot only rely on their looks."

He glanced sideways at his sister as their mother pondered his suggestion.

"What's a masquerade?" Renesmee asked.

"It's a grand dance with costumes and masks!" Edward replied theatrically, standing up. He swept his daughter up in his arms, holding her against him. He took one of her hands in his, and began to sweep her around the patio as if they were dancing.

"Masks," Bella said quietly under her breath. She looked over at Alice, a smile creeping onto her pink lips. "So that true identities cannot be known."

She now understood.

"Mother, that sounds like fun! Can we please have it be a masquerade?" Alice asked, sitting up in her chair.

If it was a masquerade, that meant costumes. Masks. Disguises.

People hiding their identifies from all.

That meant Jasper could attend.

One more chance to see him.

There you have it! I apologize for the wait on this one - many of you were concerned that I had abandoned this story, but I was really trying to finish up all of my other fics. I hope you enjoyed this chapter - we only have about 4 chapters left!

Up next is the masquerade ball and the tournament! So exciting! Please review and let me know what you thought of Alice and Jasper's scandalous night together ; ) Oh, and how are you liking big brother Edward? He will make more appearances in upcoming chapters, along with a newly married sister ; )