Disclaimer: I do NOT own any part of Final Fantasy VII in any way, shape, or form. I own NOTHING!

Chapter 14:

CLOUD

There is an undeniable rift between Tifa and I lately. It isn't much. There have certainly been much worse deeper, more cavernous rifts between us, but this one is stranger than any of the others we have experienced in the past.

Tifa has been…different. I've never seen her like this before. I've seen Tifa in countless states over the years, but this one is new to me.

Marlene and Denzel have actually said that she isn't acting unlike how I acted around the time I contracted Geostigma. There is this odd aloofness to her. She gets quiet - unsettlingly quiet. I can't tell if she is thinking…or if she is hearing the voices she told me about.

All the nightmares, the sleepless nights, the hallucinations, and the voices have finally caught up to her. She wears these things like a heavy cloak with a long train. I know. I wear these things and more.

If she is hearing things, I have no way of knowing. I doubt Tifa would tell me and since I've been keeping my distance lately, there haven't been many opportunities for her to tell me.

The nightmares aren't her fault. I can't blame her or resent her for them, but I'd be lying if having her waking up and freaking out at the sight of me didn't hurt. It hurt a lot. That's why I've just…kept my distance to prevent any more hurt…for either of us…

Likely feeling the same desperation Tifa felt whenever I was going through my darkest moments, I decided it was time to start trying to plan this…babymoon…thing to help get Tifa out of her funk.

At first, Tifa was reluctant. She wanted to delay things, understandably so. I get that she doesn't have much time left before we have to shift her job duties around, which I am sure will be about as easy as pulling Behemoth teeth. Tifa wants to hold onto her duties as long as possible, but with some encouragement from Denzel, Yuffie, Marlene, and even Barret, she relents – albeit begrudgingly.

"I can think of at least one thousand other things we should be doing instead leaving for a babymoon," she says softly as she digs around in handbag she's packed for the trip. "We need to start looking at houses. We need to figure out what we'll do about where we live now. We need to decide on if we want to know the baby's gender. We need to figure out a new schedule for the bar. Cloud, have you heard anything else from Rufus? And has anyone talked to Reeve?"

"Tifa!" Barret chides as he hauls her suitcase into the room. "Calm. Down. I'm gettin' worked up just listenin' to ya."

She sighs. "Sorry… I just keep thinking about all the things we need to do before the baby gets here…"

Tifa looks exhausted and pale. I see nothing of the glow that people always talk about being associated with pregnancy. She's also wearing clothes that practically swallow her whole, which somehow adds to how puny she seems. But this just affirms my decision to make this babymoon thing happen now. I know in my bones that she needs this. We need this.

As naïve and pathetic as it may be, I have this notion that it will help things.

"All that can wait until we get back." I gently pull the handbag from her grip and snap it closed. "We can even discuss some of it while we're gone too, if you want. There is no unwritten law that says we can't use this time to figure some of these things out."

Tifa frowns. "That sounds like something I'd normally be saying to you…"

"Right?!" Yuffie gawks as she sits down at a nearby table with a sandwich in her hands. "What's happening to the world!? Everyone panic! Cloud has become aware."

"Bout time," Barret grouses under his breath, but I pretend I didn't hear him. I do give Denzel a quick glare for snickering though as I pick up some of our bags and head towards the door.

"Have you decided where you're going yet?" Marlene follows me out to the shitty truck Dio gave us after Meteorfall to replace the buggy and to repay us for what we did for the Planet. Honestly, I'm shocked the damn thing still runs. I've said I'd buy us something else once it finally gave out, but it continues to live on to spite me.

"I think we are just going to wing it like we did on honeymoon." I toss some of our things into the back.

When we went on our honeymoon a few years ago, we just took off without any particular destination in mind. We didn't see any reason to confine ourselves to one place. We kind of just headed out and made decisions as we went. Ultimately, we ended up in Mideel, but we'd also stayed in Junon briefly. We even went to Nibelheim to visit our parents' graves before we came back home.

I don't think we will be quite as adventurous this time around though. We haven't taken as much time off, and I doubt Tifa will want to travel that much, especially since we won't be on Fenrir.

"I guess we'll see where the rust bucket takes us." I slam the door of the truck, causing said rust to groan in agony.

Marlene chuckles into her hands as Barret comes out with the last suitcase, Tifa, Yuffie, and Denzel following on his heels.

"Don't worry about any of that now, a'ight?" Barret says, leading me to believe that Tifa began talking about pending tasks again. "In fact, don't worry about nothin'. We have everything under control here, and we will all help once you get back too. Whatever ya need, we're here for ya." Barret easily tosses the bag into the truck and places a heavy hand on Tifa's shoulder. "Don't forget you have all of us for support."

Tifa smiles for the first time all day. "Thank you, Barret."

I owe him. I think he just gave Tifa the peace of mind she needed to leave and actually try to enjoy herself.

Things are still a bit strained during the first leg of the trip, kind of like we don't remember how to talk to each other. We haven't been doing much of that, but after a while, we begin to thaw out again.

Granted, we don't talk about the nightmares or anything heavy, but I'm not sure if we really need to. Bringing it up now might cause more harm than good. So instead, we discuss lighter things like our destination.

It doesn't take us long to reach an agreement. We don't want to go anywhere that will attract crowds. Tifa also doesn't want to go anywhere where bikinis and sheer clothing will be a prominent theme. Neither of us is really in the mood for the beach or any form of humidity either.

In the end, we decide to go to Icicle Inn. I don't think we've been there since we fled here as the Deepground conflict reached its peak. Needless to say, we'd both been a bit distracted at the time. So we'd never really had the chance to enjoy all the area has to offer, and Icicle Inn has really come a long way over the past few years.

We manage to arrive and get checked into our cabin right around sunset, which is nice. I'd been hoping we'd get wherever we were going before dark.

It's beautiful, really. The extra gil we spent on this place was totally worth it. You can see it in the fancy landscape portraits and snowshoes on the walls, the fuzzy rugs, the occasional stained glass window, and the rich wood that frames the windows and makes up the support beams in the concave ceilings.

The space is bigger than necessary, but it is so cozy and warm that it doesn't feel hollow like some bigger spaces do. The naked windows are tall and numerous, giving us a great view of the rich, winter landscape around us. You can see fragments of the Great Glacier and all the swirling shades of blue, purple, and green that erupt from it like some kind of arctic volcano. From the balcony in our bedroom, you can even see the snowy mountain ranges that sleep not too far away.

No snow is falling. The air and sky are crisp and clear, giving you an excellent view of the swirling scenery of icy blues for miles. You could probably see to the horizon if the mountains and caves weren't in the way.

It is so peaceful and still, instantly affirming that we made the right choice of location for our...babymoon.

I finish up with the luggage and head downstairs to make a fire in the living space for us. Seeing the Great Glacier was nice, but I can still distinctly remember what it felt like trying not to freeze out there. So even though it is warm inside already, I can't fight off the urge to make a fire.

Tifa comes to join me, hot chocolate for both of us in her hands.

"Thanks." I smile and take the steaming red mug from her.

Amazingly, Tifa's color and demeanor have changed dramatically. Getting her out of the bar and away from her main sources of stress has already done wonders for her.

Tifa can wear white like no one else I know. She looks absolutely stunning in her white sweater and dark jeans. Her legs are brought up to her chest as she sips at her drink on the couch and stares at the fire in the oversized, stone fireplace.

"You look beautiful." It just came out. I made no conscious decision to say that to her. My thoughts were just so loud…

Her eyes widen, sparkling a bit as she blushes to her neck and grins. Her head dips a bit, making all of her long, dark hair briefly curtain around her. Her reaction is one of the most genuine, endearing things I've ever seen. It also makes me aware that I don't say things like this to her enough.

Still smiling, her eyes flicker up to find mine. "Thank you."

I sit down next to her and we enjoy our drinks around the fire for a while, chatting about nothing in particular. It isn't long though before Tifa is in my lap.

Straddling my hips, she kisses me. Her mouth is on mine, leaving it only to go down my neck and over my throat. My hands are in her sweater, gripping at soft, hidden skin.

She makes marvelous noises when she's turned on, and in spite of all our time together over the years, she is still so responsive to me, which is a significant ego booster that usually coaxes another, more provocative part of me to life.

The fabric of her jeans is tight in my hands as I hold her hips and subconsciously seek out more friction between us.

I always need more. Enough is never really enough.

Her kiss is deep. One of her hands grips desperately at my shirt collar while the other glides up the back of my skull and gently tugs at a large chunk of my hair.

I think I'm making noises now.

As stunning as she looks in this sweater, I want it gone. I slip it off over her head – our lips separating only for a moment – and toss it to the love seat next to us. Hungry, my mouth finds hers again. I hold her by the back of her legs and guide her to her back and carefully position myself on top of her.

The heat of the fireplace is hot against my back as she lifts her legs, pressing her thighs to my sides. My blood feels hotter than the fire though. I didn't realize how much the emotional distance between us had taken its toll until I touched her again. I've missed her more than I thought I did, and I think the feeling is mutual. Her hands are shaking.

I sit up to unbutton her jeans. As I do so, I think about carrying her upstairs so we can continue this there, but I honestly don't think either of us can wait that long.

Despite the cold pulsing outside the cabin, a surprising amount of sweat has gathered on my forehead. My chest is rising and falling rapidly as Tifa climbs off me and I try to catch my breath.

That alone was worth the trip out here. There is something to be said for having sex somewhere new. It brings something different out of you. Plus, given our current situation, we have been a bit more…adventurous…in the bedroom. I'm not complaining though. At. All.

I manage to pull my eyes from the ceiling and glance around the living space. We left a fair amount of damage in our wake. Somehow, between the couch and ending up in the floor on a rug, we knocked over a lap, some unlit candles, and a vase. All the throw pillows are…everywhere.

Without provoking too much movement (I honestly can't muster much), I grab a nearby blanket (it too had been on the couch at one point…) and throw it over us so that we aren't completely exposed to the subtle chill in the room. It isn't much, but it is better than nothing considering we are just lying on a fur rug in front of the fireplace.

I stare at the hollow ceiling again as Tifa shifts and conforms to me, curling around my side. I lazily wrap an arm around her, running my fingers along her back and through the black hair splayed out around her.

Her ear goes over my heart, and I'm sure she can hear it violently pounding as a result of what she did to me. It's as if it wants to beat right out of my chest to meet her.

After a while – Holy knows how long – she sits up a bit, propping herself up on her elbow and looking down at me.

I raise an eyebrow at her. She's looking at me strangely.

"I was just trying to remember your old eye color," she finally says, her tone casual and very matter-of-fact.

My brow furrows. "What?"

She studies my eyes now as she traces the edges of my face with her fingertips. "It is kind of hard to remember, but I think they were a duller blue. There wasn't that small burst of green in them either."

I vaguely recall what my eyes used to be like. Like Tifa, the main thing I remember is that they aren't what they are now. Obviously. The experiments hadn't happened yet. So much of what came before Mako-poisoning is fuzzy, even the big stuff. You'd think you could remember the color of your eyes…but I can't really recall. Like Tifa, I just know they were different from what I have now.

It's appropriate though. I changed just like my eyes did. That change is a permanent reminder that there are pieces of me that have been lost and forever altered. They are the physical proof that some part of me died in that lab.

I cast my gaze back towards the ceiling. "I think…they were the same color as my mom's… Her eyes were blue, kind of like you said…I think…" I pinch the bridge of my nose. It is so hard to remember these things… The details taunt me yet elude me.

"I don't really care what our baby looks like," Tifa says and lowers her head to listen to my heartbeat again, "but I think it would be nice if they got your old eyes."

Something strange stirs in me, something that almost moves me to tears although I can't really explain why. "You know, I think I want that too…"

The snowmobile we've rented is no Fenrir. It serves its purpose though. It gets us from point A to point B, and I'll admit, we have had some fun on it.

With Tifa pregnant, we couldn't go too crazy. That didn't keep Tifa from taking the wheel (because I was driving like 'a 500 year old adamantaimal') and doing donuts out in the open with me clinging to her for dear life on the back.

I think she shaved at least twenty years off my life each time she took over. She didn't do any jumps or intense slopes, but she's pregnant. She was undeterred by this particular detail though. She was determined to get our gils worth.

We spend most of the late morning and early afternoon on the snowmobile before coming back to the cabin to warm up (in more ways than one). We eat, fool around, nap, and then fool around some more. I think we've successfully had sex in almost every room of that cabin.

That evening over the meal we'd prepared together, we decide we want to see the lights that reflect off the horizon near the Great Glacier.

It sounded entertaining enough at the time. It isn't something everyone gets to experience. When we were here chasing Sephiroth, we had been too busy and distracted to even consider staying up until the wee hours of the morning to observe one of nature's wonders. However, now that we are here, I'm sleepy and cold. Very. Very. Cold. Not Great Glacier cold, but still cold.

Tifa and I are in five layers of clothes and have made a hefty cocoon of blankets we purchased in the village. We have several thermoses of scaling soup and coffee in the cocoon with us. My Fusion Swords are also sitting next to us in case we have any more visitors (we did a pretty good job securing the area of the local monsters, but you never know).

We are snuggled against each other for warmth beneath a plethora of blankets and even though it is still cold, this is pretty nice. Being this close to Tifa is nice.

The colorful streaks began scattering across the sky sometime after 4:00 in the morning. The swirling bands of green, blue, and pink remind me of the Lifestream.

"How pretty…" Tifa breathes in awe, sounding just like she did the first time we saw the fireworks and the view over Gold Saucer.

"What is it with us and stars…?" I muse as we watch the sparkling skyline intently.

Tifa's back presses further into my chest. "Because, apparently, stars are our…thing."

I almost scoff. "I wasn't even sure we had one of those. I guess it's official now though."

As I shift and secure my hands around her waist from behind, I graze the top of her belly. I keep them there for a while. I see why Tifa has started resting her hands on the upper curve of her belly like this. There is something oddly soothing about it.

Her hands land on top of mine as she cradles her stomach. "Do you want to know the gender? We can find out soon, you know."

"Do you want to know?" I throw back.

"…Sometimes."

It grows quiet aside from the faint cry of wolves in the distance closer to the woods beyond us.

"The kids want to know," I add when I realize she isn't going to say anything else.

Tifa chuckles, her stomach bouncing a bit under my hands. "Of course. Denzel wants a boy and Marlene wants a girl."

I don't ask what she wants. For us, it is a bit different. We just want him or her to be happy and healthy. That is honestly all we want. And of course, I want Tifa to be okay. I don't want any complications for her either.

"I think…" I feel Tifa shifting against me, and I don't have to see her to know she's looking down at her belly. "I think I want to wait. Is that okay? Are you okay with not knowing?"

I nod against her hair. She smells like the vanilla shampoo we used in the shower earlier. "Of course."

"Thank you," she hums as the back of her head meets my shoulder, her gaze going back up to the lights overhead that have stretched out further towards the east. It almost seems like a hand reaching out for something.

"Are you ready to head back?" I shift beside her so I can grab her gloved hands and rub them between mine, trying to create some friction.

"Can we stay a little longer?"

I lean forward to breathe on our hands. "Okay, but if we stay much longer, we are going to be frozen solid. Then we won't be able to leave."

Hands in her puffy coat's pockets, Tifa watches from the snowmobile with a strange combination of amusement and skepticism. There is a somewhat cocky smile on her face, like she has a secret no one else knows.

"Are you sure about this?" She is almost laughing now.

"Yeah," I reply instantly as I toss the snowboard onto the ground. "Why not?"

"Oh, I don't know," she muses sarcastically and shrugs a shoulder, "it's only been almost ten years since you did this last."

She has a point, but this is something I resolved to do once we decided on coming here. With us leaving early tomorrow morning, I am running out of time and chances. I just want to go down once, partly for fun and partly to see if I still have it in me.

"I'm not doing any jumps," I argue, placing my foot on the board and gliding it back and forth along the snow. "It came naturally before."

Tifa snickers playfully. "You were 23 before."

"It's the amateur trail," I grumble and bend down to secure the board's straps around my feet, remembering that the snowboard I used before didn't even have these. "It's nothing compared to what I've done before."

"I recall you busting your ass a few time before…" Tifa pulls her knit cap down over her ears before shoving her gloved hands back in her pockets, smiling quickly at the passersby.

"Don't act like you wouldn't be doing this if you weren't pregnant." I secure my goggles around my head.

"No. You're right. I'd totally be going down with you, but I'd still be acknowledging the fact that we aren't who we were six years ago."

"We're still in better shape than over half the people on the Planet."

Still smirking, she simply says: "True…"

"Alright. I'm going for it. I'll meet you at the bottom?"

Shaking her head, she cranks the snowmobile. "Be careful."

Once I see Tifa disappear down the trail we took to get up here, I shift the board around and launch myself forward.

It isn't as easy as I remember it being in my head. I am a little wobbly at first, but soon, muscle memory takes over as I'd hoped it would.

I start making it down with surprising ease, slowly picking up speed.

The slopes are pretty clear at first. Some slight changes in terrain, but nothing I can't handle. I even get confident and a little adventurous and attempt a few small jumps.

Within seconds, the hillside gets steeper, and I gain even more speed, almost too much. The terrain also changes from spacious fields of snow to tree-riddled banks.

The further down I go, the more trees there are. In fact, there are more than I'm comfortable with, and they seem to be closing in on me. The spaces between them become more and more narrow, and I am no longer seeing any other skiers or snowboarders around.

Realizing I may have made a navigational error, I start trying to navigate my way out of the pop-up forest and back to the designated path.

A clearing comes into view, but the edge of my board snags on one of the roots just as I see it. I jolt and jerk from the impact, but I manage not to fall. My balance is doomed though. I try desperately to recover, but I catch one root and then another. I'm wobbling and flailing my arms to no avail.

The final root I hit is the cruelest. It yanks the board right out from under me. One of my legs jerks out of the straps, but the other resists. So when my body goes forward from the inertia of it all, that leg stays behind in the roots with the board.

I wail in pain from the sheer force of it. My bodyweight causes the board to snap in half. A piece stays with the tree roots and the other goes flying with me. I tumble through the snow hitting two more trees as I go before finally wrapping around yet another one.

All the air I have whooshes from my lungs as I fold in half at my middle around this skinny tree. My leg takes yet another blow thanks to the bit of the snowboard still clinging to my foot that sticks into the frozen ground.

I unfold and collapse onto my back. I am hurting so much I can't even tell where I'm actually hurting. As I still, I realize most of the pain is concentrated around my ribs and my leg.

I manage to sit upright and see that damn hunk of splintered snowboard still wretched in the ground, pulling my leg back at the most macabre angle.

Black fireworks start going off behind my eyes, and the last thing I think before the sparks of black take over my vision is:

I just broke my fucking leg.

Waking up, I expect to be cold. I expect to still be in that field of crooked, icy trees, but I am surprisingly warm - sore but still warm.

My vision is filled with white, but it is not the pure white of snow. This is an abnormal, manmade white. Looking around, I see IVs in my arm. I'm hooked up to machines like a damn switchboard.

Something inside me almost audibly snaps. Something old and rusty stirs in me, like a switch that hasn't been turned on in a very long time, but it has been flipped and is too damaged to turn off again. I have officially gone into some kind of panic mode.

I yank the IVs and tubes out of my arms with abandon, my blood spurting onto the creamy covers of the bed I'm on.

"Cloud…!"

The voice is familiar. I know that voice, but the panic in me doesn't care. I fling my legs over the edge of the bed, determined to make a break for it. I don't know where I'm going. I don't care. I just have to get out of here.

…Away from the white coats…

…Out of the green holding tube…

…Off that splinter-filled operating table…

…Away from the bright light…

…Out of the leathery straps…

Get. It. Out.

"Someone call security!"

"No! Wait! That'll make it worse."

I'm limping. Only one of my legs works, but I'm bound and determined to make it work. Still, I almost fall multiple times. I crash into the bed. I take out some kind of machine. Things are breaking and shattering. I might even push someone.

"…Cloud…" comes the voice that I know again, and my body responds to the very sound of it.

For the first time since I woke up, I am able to focus on something outside of machines, fluids, IVs, tubes, and flashing buttons. I see beautiful brown eyes framed by thick lashes and long, black hair.

My breathing slows as a familiar touch flows along my face and that assuring voice speaks softly to me.

"It's okay, Cloud. This isn't a lab. You're at a hospital near Icicle Inn. You got a concussion, some broken ribs, and a broken leg snowboarding. That's all."

"Tifa…" I murmur.

She smiles warmly and affectionately at me. "That's right."

Slowly, my wits begin to return to me. I no longer see the lab in the basement of Shinra Manor. I don't hear Hojo or the other scientists murmuring to each other. I see Tifa.

She is holding me up. Looking around, I see that I've caused a scene. Countless people peer into the room from the hall. Nurses and security guards are in the room looking apprehensive and unsure as to how to act.

My heart sinks a bit as I recognize fear. These people are afraid of me…just like Tifa was that night she dreamt about Sephiroth…

The warmth of blood on my skin catches my attention. I look down to see it flowing freely down the length of my arm, dripping off my fingers and onto the floor. I've gotten it on Tifa's pretty, white sweater too.

Pain returns with a vengeance with my lucidity. I feel the concussion and the broken bones Tifa was talking about.

Feeling my muscles loosen, Tifa guides me back to the bed. I oblige. All resistance is gone.

Once I'm back on the bed, Tifa sits on the edge next to me, holding my hand securely in hers.

"I'm sorry…" I grumble as nurses shuffle around to clean up the mess I made. "…I-I…"

Tifa touches my cheek. "You're fine. You have nothing to feel sorry for. It was a kneejerk reaction. I warned them it might happen."

"Are you okay?" My eyes flow from her face, to her stomach, and back to her face.

She laughs at me. "You're in a hospital bed with broken bones and a mild concussion and you're asking me if I'm okay? You never cease to amaze me, Cloud Strife."

Tifa helps me get repositioned on the bed. The nurses come to look me over, apprehensively. I try my best to be cooperative in a vain attempt to compensate for the scene I just caused. I firmly refuse another IV though.

"How long do I get to keep this?" I pat the cast that covers my right leg.

"The doctor estimated six weeks," Tifa replies lowly. "They weren't able to use any form of Materia or potions before the break solidified. I still doubt you'll need it for that long though. Your 'SOLDIER' background will probably cut you a break like it usually does."

I sigh heavily and pinch the bridge of my nose.

Yes. The experiments will allow me to heal faster, but this is still a disaster. The horror of this begins to sink in. I realize what a complete and utter mess this is, and I hate myself for it.

This impacts everything: how we will rearrange the shifts for the bar, how I'll do my routes, and how we'll look for a new house!

I have just become another burden, another obstacle, another stress, another inconvenience that we do not need.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

So I know a lot of you were excited for the babymoon, and I hope I met expectation. HOWEVER, if I didn't, I would consider adding some separate MATURE content for it as well. You guys have been requesting more M-rated content from me anyway, so I figured this might be a good way for me to finally fulfill that request for my loves! Depending on the feedback I get from you guys, it could be anywhere from a one-shot to like a three chaptered side segment. Just a thought! So speak now or forever hold your peace!

Thanks again for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!