First things first. Tarva, your review was awsome. You had some very good ideas, and your preview was hilarious. I will use the idea of Enrico being drunk on a later idea, since this one is already thought out. But I suggest that you take that preview and evolve it into a complete story. It was very good, and quite funny.
Cap. n suggested that I make French toast addicted ghouls. That makes three things ghouls go crazy for: Blood, panties, and French toast. Watch the OVA if you didn't understand the second thing... "Look! A police girl! Blood! Panties!" Hahaha, I loved that part...
Moving on... not much else to say. Time to see how well Enrico can get along with Integra!
The Date From Hell
It was a sign of the Apocolypse. That, or the world had finally gone insane. Whatever the truth was, Alucard was laughing his undead head off. The fact that his master, Integra Hellsing, had been invited out to dinner was funny. But it was the person asking her to join him that made the situation priceless. Enrico Maxwell, leader of Section XIII, and eternal enemy of Hellsing, wanted to have a nice chat with her over dinner a fancy candle-light dinner.
And she had accepted his offer.
"Are you serious?" Alucard finally took control over his laughter and stopped.
"Yes," she replied with a straight face as she walked down the hallway.
"Really... what's the catch?" Alucard asked as he followed closely behind her.
"There is not one," she replied calmly as she opened her door. She walked through the doorway, while Alucard simply phased through the wall.
"I find that hard to believe," Alucard was wearing a smug smile. Integra seemed to be paying him no serious attention.
"All he wants is for me and him to sit down and have a simple conversation," she walked over to her closet and opened the door. She began to dig through her clothes, looking for something 'lady-like' for her to wear.
"About what?" Alucard raised an eyebrow.
"I have no idea. But if he confesses some secret and undying love for me that he has kept hidden for years, I swear upon my father's grave that I will blow his dirty Italian brains out without a second thought," she promised. Alucard stared at her in silence for several seconds, and then smiled.
"I would pay all of Solomon's gold to see that," he replied.
"I'm sure you would..." she whispered under her breath. After a few seconds, she let out a sigh of frustration.
"What's wrong Master? If you are having trouble finding something to wear..." Alucard walked over to the closet and reached into it. "Allow me to help you," he pulled out a very revealing red dress and smiled.
"I honestly have no recollection of ever purchasing that abomination," Integra didn't break eye contact with the grinning vampire.
"I know. I snuck it in there," he shrugged.
"You shouldn't get on my nerves. Especially since you are to escort me," it was Integra's turn to smile.
Alucard's face fell instantly. "What?"
"And Anderson will be escorting Maxwell," Integra finally just grabbed her coat out of the closet, as well as her favorite berret hat. "This will have to do..."
------
Alucard scowled through the entire ride in the limo. He kept scowling as the walked up to the small restaraunt. His scowl deepened when they walked into the restaurant and saw that Maxwell had rented the entire building out, leaving them as the only occupants. His scowl reached a record level when he saw Maxwell waving from a table in the back of the room. And then that record was broken when he noticed Alexander Anderson standing in a shaded corner near the front of the restaurant. His face was playing host to an equally deep scowl.
"Why is he here?" Alucard growled.
"The same reason you are here. Don't cause trouble. I don't want to get chased back to my house by a knife wielding priest tonight..." Integra whispered. As the approached the table Maxwell was seated at, he waved a finger in a 'no' gesture.
"Alucard has to stand over there," Maxwell pointed to Anderson's shady corner. "So does Anderson. I don't want either of them causing trouble for us."
"You expect Alucard and Anderson to stand by each other without causing trouble?" Integra raised an eyebrow.
"I promise ta be a' angel, fer tonight at le'st," Anderson smiled kindly.
"Right..." Alucard growled as he walked over to his nemesis, "And I like to write poetry for fun..."
"Bloody idiot..." Integra rolled her eyes. She looked down at the smiling Catholic, who was gesturing towards a chair across from him at the small round table. Integra's left eye gave a slight twitch. There were candles at the table. Lit candles.
"Please, take a seat," he offered her. Integra frowned, but accapted his offer. She sat down across from him, and gave him the most hate-filled glare humanly possible.
"Good evening, Integra," Maxwell greeted her warmly.
"Hello, Enrico," she replied with a much less friendly attitude.
"I am sensing some mistrust coming from you," he folded his arms across the table and leaned forward, a smug grin on his face.
"I wonder why? Oh, right! Because you and my don't get along!" Integra growled.
"Please, not this again," he groaned. "Let's just try to get along for once."
"Why the sudden change in attitude?" Integra raised an eyebrow.
"I decided we might as well work together. We do the same thing. Kill monsters in the name of God. That's one thing we agree on, at least," he smiled.
"Yes, that is true," Integra shrugged.
"Now, if you are in the mood for a nice meal, I am willing to pay for whatever you order," he handed her a menu.
"Oh, how nice. It seems that chivalry is not dead just yet," she took the menu and scanned over it. "You're paying?"
"Yes," Maxwell realized where this was going. His wallet was most likely going to lose most of its contents.
"I think I'll wait until later to eat..." she placed the menu back down. Maxwell mentally sighed. "So, how has the weather in Italy been?"
-----
"You've got to be joking..." Alucard growled.
"Ye seem a bit agitated, vampyre," Anderson taunted him.
"I cannot believe what I am seeing," he ignored the nature of the comment.
"Tha' they're gettin' along? Ay kno'..." Anderson seemed to be annoyed as well.
"I figured she would have tackled him or something by now," Alucard leaned back against the wall.
"Or tha' we would'a caused a scene..." Anderson chuckled.
"Should we?" a mischievious grin spread across the vampire's face.
"Na'... we'll do tha' to 'em latter..." the priest smiled as well.
-----
"So..." Maxwell decided to change the subject from weather to something more... personal. "What's the deal with you and that vampire?"
"You mean Alucard?" Integra was caught off guard by the question.
"There isn't anything going on between you two... is there?" Maxwell was looking to cause trouble, no doubt.
"Don't go there..." Alucard whispered with a smirk.
"Eh?" Anderson looked over at him. "Wha' did ye say?"
"Watch..." Alucard nodded his head towards his Master.
"Hm..." Anderson decided to watch what was going on.
"I beg your pardon?" Integra's brow arched.
"You and Alucard are nearly inseperable..." Maxwell shrugged. "I'm just curious..."
"I don't see what importance that has right now," Integra growled.
"I was only curious. It didn't seem normal for the mortal enemy of all vampires to be so close to the worst one of all," Maxwell commented.
"Don't go there..." Alucard whispered again.
"Why the sudden interest?" Integra asked.
"There's not something going on between you two, is there?" he was just curious, most likely. But after all the years of Alucard's torture, any question from any person inolving her feelings for Alucard would result in disaster.
"Perhaps there is... perhaps there isn't..." Integra shrugged. "You seem intent on finding out."
"I'm just curious," Maxwell smiled.
"Ye know... I think they're gettin' along a wee bit too well..." Anderson whispered.
"I do too..." Alucard scowled.
"I hear that there is a play in town tonight," Maxwell suddenly changed the subject.
"Oh really?" Integra replied.
"Yes. Bram Stoker's Dracula, in fact," Maxwell informed her. "Perhaps we should go see it after this..."
"Dream on," Alucard growled.
"Touchy subject fer ye, Alucard?" Anderson obviously knew the truth about his enemy.
"I have no idea what you're talking about..." Alucard ignored him.
"No, thanks..." Integra declined the offer.
"But I already bought tickets," Maxwell withdrew two tickets from his pocket.
"Eh?" Alucard and Anderson both froze.
Integra looked at the tickets for several seconds, and then smiled. "Oh... well, in that case..." Integra thought for a second.
"Now?" Anderson looked at Alucard.
"Now!" he replied.
"The answer is-" Integra was interupted by Alucard's body smashing into the table. "ALUCARD?!"
"Hello Master!" he said quickly as he flew by. The vampire kept going across the room, taking the table with him. Anderson had apparently thrown him across the room with a large amount of force.
"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Maxwell fell out of his chair in suprise.
"COME ON THEN, YE ABOMINATION!!!" Anderson ran between them, swords drawn, chasing after his prey.
"Perhaps we should call this off for now..." Integra suggested as she ducked beneath a chair being thrown across the room.
"Indeed..." Maxwell dodged a fork.
And so, the two leaders of the two top vampire hunting organizations were forced to cut their meeting short. They left their escorts to fight, which they did for several hours. Eventually, the restaraunt burnt down because of them, and they had to end their battle. Later on, Integra would tell Alucard that her answer was going to be "no". But, she assured him, this was because she hated Maxwell and would die a thousand deaths before dating him. But Alucard doubts the validity of her claim. He taunted her about that not being the real reason. His reward was a silver bullet in the face.
Also worth mentioning is the fact that Maxwell had to pay for the restaraunt damages. Needless to say, he was not happy.
Moral of the Story: When paying for dinner, make sure your guest doesn't destroy the place.