It's been a bit of a hiatus, but finally got round to updating. Apologies to Jane Austen, for pinching her dialogue
Thursday, 12.50pm – The Equestria Summit Soiree, Las Pegasus Equine
Jet Stream, captain of the Cloudsdale Wingers, was standing at the buffet table when he recognised the Princess of Friendship coming his way. To his surprise she didn't seem angry. In fact the look she was giving him was almost… hungry.
"Well hello there Captain," She purred.
"Your highness?" He said, puzzled but flattered.
She trotted up to him until she was very close, almost touching him "How nice bumping into you again."
"Anytime you wanna bump into me is cool babe!"
The Alicorn gave him a smile "How about now?"
Jet Stream could hardly believe his luck, he hadn't expected the Princess of Friendship to come around so easily, or be so enthusiastic.
"Oh so you do wanna rematch huh?" He said casually "Howsabout we go up to my room?"
"I was thinking somewhere a little closer?" She said, glancing significantly in the direction of the hotel fountain garden.
"Out there?" He exclaimed "With all these other ponies around?!"
She sauntered past flipping her mane and then looked back at him provocatively over her shoulder "Unless… you're too chicken?" She pouted, batting her lashes.
With a grin on his face he followed her as she sashayed out into the garden. The rest of the city was buzzing but this hotel was big enough and ritzy enough to have a little space set aside from the hustle and bustle of the Las Pegasus night. She led him over to a gently splashing fountain and sat down on the stone bench that ran round it. There was the scent of roses in the air.
"Come here." She smiled.
He looked around, he could hear ponies talking and laughing but they were some distance away. The immediate vicinity was quite empty aside from the two of them.
Sensing his hesitation, she patted the space next to her invitingly "Don't be shy, I won't bite. Unless you want me to."
He grinned at her and sat down "Princess I know you like to party but I didn't realise you were this crazy!"
"Oh, there's a lot you don't know about me, Mr Dreamy!" She said, as she wound her forelegs around his neck, her eyelids fluttering closed.
His eyes closed too "So! The Princess came back for another blast of Jet Stream," He thought as he kissed her "Even royal ladies can't resist me, and she's so desperate she's dragged me out here in the garden… hey that's weird, she's a little more… toothy than I remember…"
Suddenly there was the snap of a camera shutter.
Jet Stream's eyelids flickered open automatically and as soon as he focussed on who was in front of him he gaped in horror.
"Tail Spin?"
His purple teammate gave him a familiar buck-toothed smile, holding a camera in one hoof as he took another picture.
"Dude! What are you doing?"
"Just taking a few snaps bro," Tail Spin winked "You know, for the album, to show the guys…"
"The guys? What?! But dude!" The Wingers captain cried "You mean it's been you all along?! But wait that doesn't make sense…" He frowned in utter confusion "You were both there at the same time… how could she be you if… if…?"
"You got me, dude." Tail Spin said, in a very different voice "I suppose I'll just have to 'fess up."
Jet Stream choked back a scream as Tail Spin melted away and instead of the pretty purple eyes of the Princess or the blue ones of his fellow player, there were two glowing pools of flame staring him right in the face.
"Arrrgh!" Jet Stream jumped backwards in shock.
"What's wrong handsome?" Discord said in the Twilight's voice "Don't tell me you're having second thoughts about us?" He batted long eyelashes coquettishly at the stallion.
"Y-y-you're not Tail Spin or the Princess!" Stammered the sports pony.
"Oooh looks and brains, you really are a catch!" Discord reeled in a thrashing tuna fish out of thin air and slapped Jet Stream round the face with it "Actually, I'm Discord, the Lord of Chaos." He said as the Pegasus clutched his cheek and groaned "I'd say you can drop the title but we're not really on friendly terms are we? Leaving aside the tonsil hockey of course…"
"But… but… why?"
"Well now, we've proven that ego is your little weakness, so I suppose it won't hurt to tell you mine. It's sort of embarrassing really;" The Draconequus pulled an awkward face "You may not be my friend but Princess Twilight is – most of the time – and furthermore, she and my darling wife are very close."
"You're married?!"
"Oh, yes, so don't get any ideas you naughty boy!" Discord held up a talon on which glittered his wedding ring "Anyway, unlike my beloved, the Princess has awful taste in stallions," He morphed back into Twilight for a moment and pulled a very serious expression "But she would never stoop to something grubby and unscrupulous like blackmail." He snapped back to himself and waved the photographs in his eagle claw "Whereas I, by contrast, rather enjoy it."
Jet Stream gaped "Blackmail?!"
"Oh yes! I mean, I know many ponies are getting more tolerant these days but I'm willing to bet your friends aren't amongst them, so you wouldn't want them seeing any of these, would you?" The Chaos God fanned the photos out in front of him "I think this one is the cutest, you look so into each other! Oh, but in this one you can really see both your faces, I mean your face and my face – or rather Tail Spin's face – anyway you get the picture." He gave a smile so evil the sports captain gulped "As will everyone else if you don't leave the Princess alone."
Jet Stream tried to hold onto some shreds of his tough guy act "You d-don't s-scare me."
"Oh, really? That is a shame! Perhaps I'm not trying hard enough…" Discord scratched his chin for a moment. Then suddenly, his eyes flamed and lightening split the sky, which turned from purple to black. He leaned towards the sports Captain, leering through a mouthful of razor teeth "How'sthis for scary?" He snarled "If you ever bother Twilight again, I will use you as a piñata!"
The Wingers Captain gave a high pitched shriek, turned tail and bolted.
Discord snickered to himself as he watched the stallion flee, tearing right through the ornamental rose bed, skidding on the path in panic.
Then he grinned and stretched, cracking his talons "I've still got it!"
Thursday, 1am – Hotel Gardens, Las Pegasus Equine
There was a light crunch of gravel and Discord gave a little high-pitched shriek and turned to find Fluttershy standing on the path behind him.
"How long have you been listening?" He asked.
"Long enough to get a pretty good idea of what you've been up to," She looked down, her long lashes veiling her eyes.
He raised his claws defensively "Before you start getting upset just let me explain – "
"I'm not upset," She said, using her hoof to move some pebbles around "Actually I wanted to thank you… for what you've done for Twilight. If she only knew, I'm sure she'd want to thank you too."
Discord felt a little guilty, he'd been psyching himself up to for some big self- justification and instead she was grateful? "Don't thank me," He said "Or if you must, only thank me for yourself, not for Twilight. Much as I respect her, I believe I was only thinking about you."
They stared at one another for a few beats as if held in place by a magic spell, each hesitant to make the first move.
"Fluttershy," He breathed "You know this won't make sense to anypony else."
"Perhaps not," She said "But I don't make sense without you anymore…. because I love you."
Then, at the same instant they lunged towards each other. The moment their lips met, the water in the fountain transformed into champagne; jets of foaming, alcoholic bubbles pouring upwards into the night sky.
"My delicate little chaos butterfly!"
"My big, handsome, unstoppable force of nature!"
"I'm so happy you feel the same!"
"Me too!"
"Say you'll stay married to me?"
"Of course I will! I don't ever want to be apart again!"
"Oh me neither! Now we can rule all Equestria together, once we've overthrown Celestia that is – "
"Discord!"
He grinned "Just kidding! Only about the ruling Equestria thing though, the rest I meant." He clarified hastily "Then something else occurred to him "Altho-o-o-ough, you are still Lady Chaos. Think you can live with that?"
"I guess I'll have to," She sighed "I suppose it's not so bad."
"I mean, I admit it's not a title that'll help you get tables at exclusive restaurants or anything like that," He shrugged "But then you don't need to worry about that 'cos you've got me!"
"I do have one question though," Fluttershy began and he looked at her inquiringly "Jet Stream: did you have to kiss him?"
"Now darling," He soothed "Before you get crazy jealous and attack somepony. I only did it for you, Mr Dreamy is a really sloppy kisser!"
She gave him a mischievous smile "You mean you don't enjoy it at all, playing tricks on ponies?"
"Even if I did, I'd be too scared to admit it now Sluggershy!" A giant pair of spectacles appeared on the end of his nose "You wouldn't hit a Draconequus in glasses would you?"
She laughed, a little shamefaced "I didn't behave very well last night, did I?"
"My love you were a delightful drunk for around ninety-nine percent of the evening, but once the green eyed monster took hold, you were truly terrifying!"
"Oh dear, I'm sorry!"
"No apology necessary, my sweet. To be perfectly honest," He tightened his hold on her and purred "I rather liked you in berserker mode, it was… stimulating. What do you say we ditch this dreary excuse for a party and get out of here?"
"But what about Twilight and Spike and the girls?"
"Fluttershy? Discord?" As if on cue they heard the voices of their friends not far away.
He growled, hackles rising "What do they want now?!"
She stifled a smile "I think it might be to do with you turning the swimming pool into cola."
"Ah yes," He chuckled "I had forgotten, guess I should clean that up!" He snapped his talons "Just a little unintended, magical side effect."
"Unintended? Really?"
"I swear!" He pulled his 'virtuous' expression and she giggled, then a worried look stole over her features "I just don't know how I'm going to explain all this to the others."
"How we're going to explain all this," He said firmly "But it doesn't have to be now, we are technically on our honeymoon after all!"
"I just don't like lying to them."
"We're not lying we're … prioritising." As they heard their friends' voices getting closer he sighed in exasperation "Can't a Draconequus be alone with his new wife once in a while?" He hissed "Would that be so very wrong?"
To his surprise, she shook her head "No Discord, it wouldn't," She whispered "Why don't you just get us back to the hotel? Quick before they find us!"
"Really?" His jaw dropped.
"Yes, Twilight's safe and Rarity, AJ and Spike are out of trouble," She pulled the room key from a pocket in his jacket and held it up, jingling it in front of his face "And like you said, we've already got a room!"
The moment she did it, he felt sick again – really nauseous "Oh no!" He gasped and bent double, dropping her onto the path.
He knew with terrible certainty what was going to happen and it was going to happen right here, right now – in front of everypony.
"Discord! What is it?" She wailed.
Twilight and their friends came running, drawn to her cry of distress "Fluttershy! Is that you? I just bumped into Jet Stream and he screamed and – oh! What's happened?"
They pulled up short when they saw the Chaos God leaning on the fountain, obviously ill.
"What in Equestria's wrong with him?" Twilight said "And where have all these bubbles come from?"
"He's not gonna blow chunks is he?" Rainbow stepped back slightly.
"Hey wait a minute, this fountain's full of champagne!" Squealed Pinkie in delight, leaning forward to stick her face into the froth "Champagne, you guys!"
Fluttershy ignored them, lifting the Chaos God's face between her hooves "Discord? Speak to me! Are you ok?"
He clutched her shoulder and as she watched in horror, turned his head away from her and spat out another shimmering time sphere.
The globe caught on the edge of the fountain and span round and round the inside of the circular bowl like a ball in a giant roulette wheel, stirring up clouds of foamy bubbles. The six mares, the dragon and the Draconequus's heads all flicked back and forth to follow it until suddenly the fountain's jets activated, blasting the glowing ball into the air.
"Oh…" Said Fluttershy.
"…darn!" Discord finished for her as the bubble of accumulated time plummeted towards them like a falling star.