Chapter 14: Mind Reader
"Master." Felix entered to main gathering room addressing his ruler with a small bow. "He is back again."
Aro rose from his throne with a sigh and began to wander the room in contemplation. He needn't look to his brothers for advice on the situation; having discussed it several times before, he knew their position in the matter, and although Aro agreed with them, the idea of adding Edward to his guard was too exciting an idea to merely dismiss completely.
The first time Edward had come to the castle he was granted an audience with the Elders; but since has been denied. Aro's initial meeting with the young man was simple curiosity, he wished to know the boys gift better and to learn any further information he could about his daughter Bella. Upon discovering everything he needed to know about both, he dismissed Edward; leaving them both with an unanswered decision.
Aro knew that Edwards only interest in joining the Volturi was Bella and gaining unremitting access to her. And this was the only reason Aro has been hesitating. Having seen the memories, heard the thoughts and felt the emotions that were Edward and of his Bella, he knew that if she were to ever remember the love they shared, he would lose them both.
You see, Edward loves Bella; loves her more than his own life, he would trade and do anything for her; go anywhere; become anyone, as long as it was for her; to be with her; out of love for her.
Aro didn't understand this before, he believed that Edward had dismissed Bella, left her like so many others of his kind have done to humans throughout history.
Aro in all his years; all the thoughts and memories he'd ever seen of vampiric love, had never come close to experiencing this kind of depth before; surprised even by the intensity of it. The self sacrificing abnegation that Edward so willingly and unrelentingly put himself through just to be with her was enough to make Aro's mouth water. Only to follow it with the same reverence to keep her safe, putting himself through the most absolute agonizing deprivation that he had ever felt.
All this in the name of love. Unquestioned; unashamed love.
Aro himself couldn't understand how anything could be so great, and the possibility and risk because of it were just too high.
"Bring him." He answered the guard finally.
Felix nodded acceptance of his order and turned to retrieve Edward to the meeting hall.
Aro, understanding Edwards gift, was now able to hide the things he didn't want to the boy to know; things that could still put him losing Bella at risk.
It was now several weeks since the meeting at Laden Fields Pond, and although he had convinced Bella to remain with them in the castle, he knew that he wouldn't be able to hold her forever. Bella was a strong willed, strong minded woman; stubborn as Edward had called her, and she had her own idea's about how she planned to spend all of eternity.
She was planning to go back to school; start a summer class schedule and accept a teacher's assistant position that she had been offered last year. She had promised them she would stay on at the castle with them until it was time, but refused to be held back.
"I can protect myself, I'm not afraid of them." She had told the Elders while they were discussing her schooling, leaving the castle and the possibility of running into the wolves and Cullen's. They all knew she was right, she could more than take care of herself, just as they knew they could never keep her here. It wasn't within anyone's power to control Bella, she knew it and so did they.
Aro also needed to make a decision, to give Edward an answer so he would stop coming back, before Demitri and Bella returned from their vacation. They were do back any day now, and if it could be avoided, he wanted there to not be a chance meeting between the two again or ever if possible.
Several minutes of silence followed Aro's direction before Edward was brought to him, and as any good leader and host, he welcomed his guest.
"Edward, my dear boy, how wonderful to see you again." The leader of the Volturi greeted his visitor.
"Master" Edward responded tightly, trying the word out on his tongue.
The greeting pleased Aro so tremendously he couldn't help but picture Edward standing guard next to him; a cloaked adviser among his other prized members. "You flatter me." The Elder responded.
"I admire you." Edward retorted.
They both knew that wasn't entirely true; the special bond of their gifts ensured that, but neither would respond or correct such simple falsities as these.
"We've given much thought to your request." Aro continued without pause. "It has been a rather difficult decision to make."
Edward, out of hopeful respect, didn't interject or interrupt Aro; even though he knew the answer to his request before he walked into the room, instead letting him speak the words aloud.
"You are unlimited in talent in ways I am not. To hear from a distance, it would be so convenient..." he trailed off in thought, again wavering on his decision before remembering the reason. "But, unfortunately we can not grant you what you seek. Allowing you to join our guard would be a conflict of interest as it stands now, and the risks far out weigh the benefits."
"I understand your position, I do. But there must be some way for me to change your mind, prove to you that I would be an asset." Edward tried diplomatically.
"I believe you would prove yourself worthy Edward, and your talent would be an excellent addition to our company, but of course you know that is not why you are being denied, and for that there is nothing to be done. It is unfortunate."
"I see." Edward responded solemnly at the finality of the decision. He had wanted nothing to do with the Volturi, avoiding them at all costs in his 114 years, but Bella was here, his love, his life were with these people, and now it was everything that he wanted.
Edward being crushed, and losing what little hope he had, would now have to find another way to be with her.
Since leaving his love that cold day in September, Edward has done little else but think of his Bella. She has been in his every thought, his every breath of every moment since leaving his heart with her in Forks.
For the first few years especially, it took everything in him and more to not go running back to her; beg her for forgiveness; offer a lifetime of servitude, just to be near her. Many times he had come close, so close, but would always make himself turn away, remembering the reasons he had left her in the first place.
She was more important than any suffering he was in, her life meant everything and he would do nothing to endanger it any longer or ever again.
But it was painful; tortuously painful, not be with her. She was his air to breath, his reason for laughter, all that he would ever see; his only hope and love. He could not risk her life, losing her was nothing compared to the possibility of living in a world where she did not exist.
So he stayed away, with an effort so great it could move mountains, he stayed away from his reason for being, so she might live the life he could never give her.
During the meeting, in those few moments he had thought he'd lost her forever, he ceased to exist, thought that in that moment he had died with her, and would make that a reality as soon as he could. For him, the world stopped spinning, the sun would never shine; the moon would never rise; life, love, meaning –all lost.
But an eternity of minutes later, life was anew; she was alive, gloriously alive and perfect as she ever was, standing before him. The sweetest sound of her voice, reverberating through his being, singing in his ears. Her intoxicating perfume; still holding the same addiction to him, warming his body and filling him up with her.
His Bella, standing before him, alive and well in her perfectly immortal frame. There are no words to encapsulate the joy that had overtaken him, or the agony that followed by her indifference.
It was worse than being away from her. As time heavily passed, it was a comfort for him knowing she would remember, hoping her memories would someday be fond; cherished reflections, that would mean something to her as they would always to him.
But this, this was nothing he was prepared for. She didn't know him, didn't remember any of the time they had spent together, the love they had shared. He was nothing to her and it was excruciating.
And in that moment, as she turned coldly away from him, he knew what he must have done to her. Knew with ever fiber of his being that this; what he was feeling in this moment, was exactly the punishment he deserved for doing it to her. He had left her pleading and heartbroken as he turned cold and walked away.
He had pushed her away, shoved her into this life with the Volturi, made her so desperate to end it all, that she had; completely wiping him and everything else out.
Not by choice, no, like Jacob had said, she would never willingly forget him or her father, but Edward, yes. She had chosen to forget him, to leave him and their past behind.
They had done this to her though, he knew, he didn't know how, but he knew. He needed to know, needed to fix it, so she would remember, so he could explain, make her understand, hope for her forgiveness.
She was now what he always wanted to avoid, but seeing her, he had to question himself why? Had he given her what she wanted –what she always was meant to be, they would be together now. Forever.
So with that, he had to try, even though he knew it would kill him for her to reject him, he had to try, he had to get her back, the Bella that he knew, the Bella that he loved, the one that had known and loved him too.
"Thank you for your time and consideration." He bowed to the leader Aro, before turning to walk out of the room.
(2/22/11)