Then next couple of days seemed to drag by, Lily had redecorated her room with more mature furniture, she changed the pink walls to red, she took down the childish posters and replaced them with photos, both magical and muggle. The room started to look like it belonged in Gryffindor tower instead of Spinners End.
Lily sighed as she started her last task to complete her new room. She sat on her bed with a black and green photo board, she had debated this idea for hours before she admitted that Severus Snape had been a huge part of her life and she simply couldn't erase his memory. Its better to embrace it, I guess she sighed to herself as she opened the box containing pictures of them from childhood until a few months ago.
Each photo held a memory; it was a mixture of loss, anger and love. I'll always love this bastard she thought. When she accomplished the task of arranging the pictures to her liking she welled up in tears as she opened her school trunk and removed the crumpled pieces of parchment with a single word written on each one. "Always." Maybe I should send him the definition of the word because he obviously doesn't understand it's meaning! Lily thought to herself.
Lily finished the board and placed it on the wall alongside the other ones of herself, Sirius and Remus. A small knock came at the door and her mother gasped as she stepped instead. Lily sheepishly asked "How do you like it?"
"Honey this is beautiful! How did you do this?" her mother asked astonished.
Lily smiled and twisted her wand in her hand.
Her mother laughing said "I'm sorry darling. Sometimes I forget how powerful you are. Sweetheart I came to ask if you can come help prepare dinner for tomorrow night. You know its Christmas Eve."
"Yeah mom I'll be down in just a few minutes." Lily said smiling at her mother who was still gawking at her new room.
When Lily was alone she cast a spell on the photos so they couldn't be removed by anyone besides herself or the person in them. That'll keep that bitch from destroying my stuff while I'm gone Lily thought. Lily took a long look at the photos that were causing her the most pain, frowned and bounded down the stairs to help her mother.
Severus had stood outside for hours watching Lily. He couldn't help laughing at himself when he momentarily changed her Gryffindor red walls Slytherin green. She had looked at her wand like it was broken for far too long, so he changed it back. Gods I miss her, he thought to himself. "I'd give my last breath just to hold her one more time" he muttered to himself.
His original plan had been to ensure she had arrived home safely, then promptly leave, that had been hours ago. He seen her leave her room and appear in the kitchen. He knew as long as the light was off he could sneak in for a few moments. This would probably be the last time he could ever enter her house. In just a few short months she would do as he had done and left Hogwarts and found an occupation. A sorry excuse for a job, he didn't want to think of that now. In this moment he was almost happy.
In one swift moment he was standing in Lily's much more mature room. Severus smirked, dear Merlin, she's brought Gryffindor tower home he thought. Simply standing in her room, smelling her perfume that always lingered was gut wrenching. He felt love, loss, anger at himself, disgust at himself and the ever so familiar stabbing pain of regret.
He quickly scanned the room, almost immediately finding all the pictures of Lily, Sirius and Remus. "What in the bloody hell is she doing hanging around the dog and the wolf, and where in the hell is Potter?" He muttered to himself. "Foolish girl is going to get killed around that beast!" Severus was infuriated at this point. Then he thought for a moment taking a closer look at the pictures. She was happy and to his knowledge the mutt and the wolf had never harmed her. He was the only one who had hurt her; Severus felt his heart breaking all over again knowing she probably hated him more than ever judging by her new friends.
Then something caught his eye. In the sea of that vile red color he seen it, Slytherin green, he approached the photo board she had place on her wall in his house colors and his heart melted as he scanned over what was on that board. All of their memories captured in photographs, they were all there from childhood to just this year. She doesn't hate me. She still loves me, at least part of her does. Severus soon found his favorite photo. It was a magical picture of them; it was 5th year, before all the bitterness and loss, back when it was just them. They were in Hogsmeade at the Three Broomsticks, she had a butter beer mustache, he had pointed it out to her and she started laughing like a fool throwing her head back, he was smiling at her trying to wipe it away as she laughed. Just before the picture stopped moving they locked eyes. Severus placed the picture in his pocket and once again conjured parchment and quill, wrote the one word he knew only she would understand, he placed the parchment into the empty space left by the stolen picture. His whispered "I love you" into the air and disapparated.
Lily woke the next morning smiling and giggling like a child. It was Christmas morning, even though she was almost an adult she still had that childlike excitement. She bounded down the stairs where her parents were waiting like always, coffee mugs in hand. Lily sat crossed leg in front of the tree waiting on Petunia to come out like always. After what seemed like forever Lily yelled "Petunia!" it only took a few moments for her sour sister to appear and sulk down beside her.
Within a few minutes the living room was covered in torn Christmas paper, everyone loved what they had received and thanked each other. Lily and her mother started to clean the mess up while Petunia went to her room to try on her new clothes. Lily reached under the tree for a stray wad of paper as she pulled the paper to her she noticed 3 more presents tucked tightly to the base of the tree. Lily picked up the one wrapped in shiny green paper and gasped as she seen the name. Lily looked to her mother with tears in her eyes and asked "What is this?"
Her mother looked at her with a small smile and a confused look and said "It's for Severus dear. I assumed he would be by this afternoon like always."
The pang of guilt and loss that hit her was indescribable. She had forgotten that she had never told her parents of their relationship or their falling out. Her mother looked at her still in confusion and asked "Severus is coming by isn't he?"
Lily didn't want to fall apart in front of her mother so she silently pulled herself together and did something she rarely did. She lied. "Umm... No mom, he wont be by this year, he decided to stay at school."
"Oh, well that's unfortunate. I was so looking forward to seeing him. He's such a dear boy; you couldn't have picked a better friend. Will you please put it with your things and take it to him?" her mother asked with a deep frown.
Lily looked to her mother with a sad smile and agreed. Lily gathered her gifts and the one meant for Severus and walked to her room with silent tears running down her face. She had only been in her room, sitting on her bed hugging her knees while letting the silent tears stream down her face, for a few minutes when the same tawny owl softly pecked at her window.
Lily sighed looking down at the bracelet and muttered "Damn thing needs an off button!" Lily let the owl in, took the letter, patted him on the head and gave him his well-earned cookie. She knew it was Sirius probably about to apparate to her front door at any moment.
Lily, Love what is wrong? I am very concerned.
I know I promised but I need to know you are ok.
It's Christmas, you shouldn't be sad. Please talk to me.
Love you and miss you, Sirius
"This damn bracelet will be the death of me! He worries too damn much! Can a girl not be sad?" Lily said looking to the owl. While quickly starting her letter back to him.
Sirius, Everything is fine. DO NOT LEAVE REMUS! I am ok, just family stuff.
You're really going to have to learn that women are emotional creatures.
If you leave Remus and I'm not physically hurt I will strangle you!
Please calm down and stop worrying about me so.
Take care of Remus and yourself so you can be here with me. Give my love to Remus.
I love you both and Happy Christmas, Lily
Lily gave the letter to the owl, the very content owl flew out the window and Lily was alone again.
Lily lost in her sadness glanced over at the green photo board, at first it was painful memories, and then she realized something was different. The board had been tampered with. "This is not how I left it!" she muttered to herself trying to figure out what was different. I warded it, no one but me and... she gasped. She seen it, the piece of parchment replacing a missing picture.
Severus has been here she realized, I just did this yesterday! When could he have gotten in? She glanced around the room but nothing else seemed to have been touched. "Fucking coward!" she hissed to herself. He can sneak into my room but he cant face me in person! If he's in Spinners End I'll find him she vowed to herself.
Remus chuckled as Sirius read him Lily's letter.
"Sirius I know you are well intentioned but I think you are being a little overbearing. Women are very emotional, especially around the holidays. You need to have a drink and stop worrying yourself to death. I wouldn't send her another owl unless my arm was on fire if I were you." Remus said looking half serious and half playful.
Sirius knowing he was defeated and Remus was right said "I know, I just worry about her. I'm worried that bastard will tell her about the baby!"
Remus gave a knowing nod and said "Sirius he won't tell her. He can't tell her. He would be putting himself on deaths door to even be seen talking to her. You need to listen to Lily, if she's not in physical pain then leave her be. I should be able to travel by tomorrow night, maybe the next morning. Calm down mate and have a few drinks. We only have a few hours until we have to leave for the shack."
Sirius sighed and rubbed his chin; he looked off into the distance for a moment and then laughed. He looked to Remus with the most amused look and said "What the hell happened to me? This time last year I was so smashed I didn't know where I was or who I was with. The only thing that mattered was where the next party was. Now I'm sitting here staring at this damn bracelet wondering why she feels this way or whats wrong! She consumes my every thought! Your right, I need to calm down and just have fun. I'm going to change shirts so I can't see this thing. If it burns I'll check it. When I come back were going to Hogs Head and get smashed!"
Remus smiled a genuine smile lifted his glass as to toast Sirius's words. In just a few short minutes they were inside Hogs Head ordering fire whiskey. Remus the ever careful one had already told the bar keep their cut off limit to make sure he got to the shack with some kind of sense left.