Holding On

Chapter Fourteen

Henry Herrmann saw a lot of customers come and go through his Dad's diner over the years. But that Monday afternoon he saw someone he hadn't seen in over a year. She was probably home for the Holidays.

"Well if it isn't Miss Claire Elizabeth Rhodes." He grinned as she snuck her way up to the counter, flicking her hair around her face to act as a barrier.

"Hey Little Henry Herrmann." It looked like she was trying to smile but it came out a little bit like she was in some sort of pain.

He groaned, "Can we stop with the nickname already? I've grown up!" He laughed.

"Well you still call me by my full name." She joked. "You were the cutest little baby, did you know that?

"You don't even remember me like that you're only 3 years older than me." Henry pointed out. With Elizabeth's desire to give her kids a normal childhood away from the social expectations of being a Rhodes, came a lot of time hanging out at the diner, heck Henry grew up knowing Claire and Connor longer than his own siblings.

"It's good to see you Henry." She said with tired eyes. Truth be told, the girl sitting in front of him could be a stranger. She had gotten in with the wrong crowd in school, constantly vied to distract her father's attention from Connor towards her. She boomeranged from being the perfect daughter to being the rebel child, all in the hopes that Cornelius would notice that he had another child apart from the son he wanted to groom into being his successor in the business.

She just looked so haunted and worn out.

"It's good to see you too Claire." She sniffed,

Was she crying?

"Only you would say that Henry."

He was at a loss of what to say. He had watched her self-destruct at seventeen, watched her crack under academic pressure in senior year, watched her pick the Rhodes' lifestyle over everything else, again and again.

"What would you do if everything you believed in turned out to be a lie?"

She asked him, her eyes desperate for answers. Her gaze making him block out the rest of the room.

He didn't know why she was asking him. He was just Henry. Reliable but forgettable Henry. He didn't question things, he just went with the flow. What his parents needed him to do. Minding his siblings, school, work, play for the hockey team, sleep.

"Are you okay Claire?"

She nodded her head but he remained unconvinced.

"Just don't tell Connor I've been around. Or are you two still like little girls who tell each other everything?" There was the spunky Claire Rhodes he knew. And loved

He smiled, "I won't tell him."

"Thanks Henry. I'd say I'd see you around, but like Connor says, I'm not very good at keeping my promises." She said as she stood and made her way back towards the door. Henry wondered what she'd meant. He loved Connor, but sometimes he didn't even try to understand his sister.

Not that he'd ever admitted it to him.

Henry would have believed the entire encounter was a dream if his Dad hadn't come out from the back, swatted him on the head and asked him why he was staring at the door as he caught a final glimpse of Claire, with her long glowing hair flicker past one of the windows.

Sarah caught a glance at a certain junior as she got out of James's car the days before Thanksgiving break. No more bus, which she was sad about. It had honestly been the best thing to happen to Jason but his father insisted he was there so he'd take care of them properly, which also meant they didn't frequent Molly's much either but her mother had said they had to compromise to make things better with James, also, she and Connor barely talked, they both seemed to have been avoiding the big elephant in the room.

That non existent kiss, even the meetups at his house were purely focused on school and there always someone else in the room and seemed to happen less and less now.

She wouldn't dare to be alone with him, just in case he brought it up, she was even glad Jason's usal butt in which didn't leave room for them to be on their own.

Connor watched as Sarah and Jason got out of their dad's car.

He believed James not to be such a bad guy, especially compared to his narcissistic father, he genuinely seemed to care for the both of them. He smiled as soon as Sarah looked his his way, but she just turned away.

Right, he'd gone up and ruined everything again

"So, did you you study for Downey's quiz?" Henry asked as they both stood by the lockers.

Yep he and Sarah had, even in their awkwardness, they'd managed to keep going on tutoring. Even though Sarah seemed to want to run away at the end, making the situation so obvious even his mom had asked him what was wrong.

"If you like her, then you should be honest with her…" Elizabeth had told him.

Connor sighed and slammed his locker door, making a small piece of paper sneak out and fall

"For you…" Jason had said earlier that day at school. Sarah smiled at her brother.

"What's this?" Connor inquired taking the small card from him. It already been a few days since his birthday but Sarah would later admit to him Jason had changed his mind on the gift many times until he'd been happy with it. He almost didn't give it to him but Sarah had insisted.

"Your birthday, Mom told me I couldn't be at your party like Sarah because you are big… but you are my friend."

Connor smiled kindly. "Thanks buddy."

Jason nodded, eyeing Connor as he opened the card. It read Happy Birthday Connor in messy handwriting but what caught his attention were the drawings beneath it.

Transformers themed. "You made this?" Connor asked.

Jason nodded again. "Sarah helped too, it's from both of us."

His sister avoided Connor's gaze. "Well, thank you too Sarah."

"Sure." She responded.

"Gotta go now, Mary won't like it that I'm late." Jason said after a silence had settled between them.

"Right, thanks again bud, I really like my gift."

Jason bit his lip as Sarah glanced Connor's way, walking away to her brother's building.

"What's that?" Henry asked.

"Nothing…"

"Jason Reese. That kid really likes you." Henry said smiling. "My mom says it's hard for Jason to connect but when he does, that's like kind of a big deal."

"I like him too, he's a great kid." Connor put in.

"Like, you like Sarah?" Henry's tone changed making Connor glare at him.

"You are worst than Natalie."

"Hey, I wasn't the who almost kissed the girl who by the way, seemed to notice which just makes it worse because you're too much of a coward to own that up and tell her how you feel."

"I don't even know what that was...Sarah has a lot going on, she doesn't need me to make it more of a mess as I'm known of doing."

Henry's gaze softened. "You do know Nat doesn't blame you for what happened?"

"She should, I was the one that pissed Ava off."

"Well, she kept telling people you two were meant to be, or together or whatever, which if you ask me is just a rich kid thing. It had to stop at some point."

Connor sighed. "And you might be rich man, but you're nothing like her and Nat knows that."

He was no longer listening to him. Connor had spotted Sarah with her friends, he glanced down at Jason's card and walked over. "Where are you going?"

"Connor!" It was Ava. She still dared to talk to him after what she'd done. He'd confronted her and she of course had not admitted to it but was unusually sweet to him in the following days so he knew the truth.

"Sorry, I need to go, what do you want?"

"Just to say hi, we've barely talked…"

"Why do you think that is?" Connor told her patiently.

"You're still into that? Why even know and tell people about Natalie? I want us to be like we used to Connor, not have you pull away from me."

"What's that about?" Monique glanced over at Connor and Ava. Sarah's eyes followed her. "You know the rumors, right? That Ava was the one who told everyone about Natalie?"

Oh, they all knew. Jay had been front and center on his brother's reaction to it, he had to stay up with him the night of the party so Will wouldn't do anything stupid.

"Let's go guys, we'll be late for class." Jay told the girls, Emily and Sarah followed the others but Reese couldn't help but glance back at Connor as she went.

"Talk to him." Emily hissed as they walked.

"What?"

"Don't you think I don't know what's going on in that head of yours." Her friend said.

"No…"

"You're miserable without each other, girl you might be confused but if Connor Rhodes seemed to liked me…"

"You talk to him then." She said frustrated, Emily smiled. She was just about to go do that.

"Okay, if you insist…" She took a step back.

"What, no!" Sarah shouted, alerting the other kids. "Emily, please…"

"Fine but I'm telling you, being honest with each other won't kill you…"

It might kill her, Sarah thought.

Tuesday was finally here and Sarah could breathe again. She was glad to be heading to Michigan, even if it meant to see her family, she could get away from Chicago for a while.

Away from avoiding Connor.

"Sarah, wait up!" Jay caught up with her as she left her last class of the day, she'd been worried about Jason who had a birthday party that evening, one Mary would take him to and James would drive back from. He had insisted it would be good for him.

It made her anxious really, to have her brother have a social event, even if it was a good thing for him to make friends.

"Hey." Sarah smiled. She told him she was on her way to the bus as her ride was otherwise busy.

James had insisted he had to care for some kind of last minute thing at work and Jason would be going to his party so he wasn't worried about her taking the bus.

She and Jay walked over as Emily and Monique joined them. "What's everyone doing over the beak?" Emily started up the conversation.

"I'm helping Will with the car, he finally got enough money to pay for the new valve."

"My mom is making me help her cook, she says I might learn something." Monique put in.

"Going to Michigan tomorrow morning, so it's packing for me."

"Sarah?" A familiar voice said behind them.

"We'll see you inside, huh?" Emily told Reese, tugging on her friends as they walked towards the bus.

Jay couldn't help but glare back.

"Hey." She told Connor softly. He wore his hair a bit shorter now and his winter jacket had replaced the leather one as December rolled around the corner.

"You stormed out after math, is everything okay?" He asked, a tone of worry in his voice.

Sarah bit her lip. "Yeah, Jason is going to a birthday party…"

Connor smiled. "Oh yeah, the kid who loves dinosaurs, right?"

How did he know that?

Sarah nodded. "Yeah so I just wanted to make sure he was okay to go."

He smiled at her again. "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be fine." The kids on the bus were starting to climb up. "Danny is a good kid, just ask the Hermanns….Is Mary taking him or…"

"Yeah, she is…" Sarah looked over at Jay who stood at a step calling for her. "I have to go…"

"Actually….I was wondering if you wanted me to give you a ride?" He offered making her stop cold.

He'd finally manned up enough to talk to her. "I know we haven't gotten the chance to talk with everything that's been going on."

Sarah held her breath.

Alone, in a closed space with Connor?

Someone help her.

"Yeah things have been a bit busy with everything at home." She admitted.

"Same here, with helping Nat out."

Natalie hadn't been to school in three weeks, she'd heard from gossip that her parents had come to an agreement with Mr. Charles and Principal Goodwin to make sure she kept on going with her classes from home. Rumors said she'd come back eventually as the scandal wore off, others said she was too sick

Sarah had seen Natalie before she'd found out she was pregnant and she'd read people could be so ill from morning sickness, they could barely get up from bed.

"I don't want to trouble you or anything…" He said, scratching his head. "But I thought we could.."

"No. You're not troubling me…" She said rather quickly.

"Well that's good to hear." He offered her a small smile. "I've missed talking to you."

She could feel the blush rising in her cheeks, "So have I…."

"So I can give you a ride?" He sounded desperately hopeful and when he looked at her like that, how could she say no?

"Yeah, okay."

"Okay." He nodded and he turned in the direction of his car and she fell into step beside him after she'd sent her friends a few glances and Emily had had to pull Jay inside so the bus could leave.

"So, how is Nat doing?" She decided the longer she could keep the topic of conversation off of them the better.

He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "Not great, to be honest. Everything just makes her sick and the whole mess with Ava just makes it worse. If her parents weren't upset enough, now they're worried about sending her back to school…"

So the rumours were true, it was Ava who'd been behind it. Sarah didn't comment on that fact, not when she could tell how much it was a thorn in Connor's side.

"It's horrible, she's so nice to me, she doesn't deserve all this hassle."

He opened the door of his car for her, honestly, if the conversation wasn't so serious Sarah would have swooned.

"Yeah she's terrified of what people will say, but I think she wants to come back to school, have things as normal as possible while she still can, when she's feeling better."

"That's understandable. But we're in high school, I'm sure there will be some new scandal over Thanksgiving break and everybody will forget about it and move onto something else, Can you tell her I was asking about her? I know what's it like to be alone, I wouldn't want her to feel like that."

"I definitely will." He said starting up the car. There was no music this time.

They pulled out of the parking lot and Sarah was quickly growing uncomfortable.

"So…" He cleared his throat. "I actually wanted to talk to you alone, we haven't really been allowed to."

Nope, she'd made sure of that.

"Honestly, don't like this awkwardness between us."

"What awkwardness?" She feigned innocence. The last thing she wanted was going to happen. She had thought about it a lot for the past few weeks when she couldn't sleep at night. He was going to apologise for trying to kiss her, tell her that he didn't mean for it to happen...not ever, that she had imagined it all and that she was making him uncomfortable. The list of bad case scenarios that her mind could come up with seemed pretty endless.

"Sarah…"

"Okay, yeah, things are awkward."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cross a line with you that night. If I overstepped or anything, or assumed things, I'm sorry. I know we haven't known each other for long and…"

So she hadn't imagined it, still he was apologizing about it, so…

"It's fine." She cut him off, suddenly finding the scenery outside her window very captivating.

"I just wanted you to know that I meant it." He sighed as if it took a lot for him to say it.

"Meant what?" She asked as he pulled up at her house.

"To kiss you."

Her heart gave a lurch, what on earth was she supposed to say to that?

"Oh."

"And I'm sorry if I read everything wrong. I really, really, don't want to ruin our friendship. It's just… You fascinated me from the first day I met you. I mean you give so much of yourself to others, all you do with Jason is great and you're amazing with him. Actually, you're just amazing, ridiculously smart and beautiful, and you keep everything real, like you don't just talk to me, you actually listen and…"

She stared at him with wide eyes.

Was she dreaming?

"I just wanted to tell you and lay my cards on the table, but If you don't feel the same or anything, I promise this won't affect us. If you'll have me as just your friend I can live with that."

Her voice had seemed to stop working.

"So Yeah, I just wanted to be honest with you."

"Thanks." She said, her voice broken and raspy.

"Okay." He swallowed hard and seemed very interested in his steering wheel.

She didn't mean to just sit there and stare at him but she had a lot to process. Nobody had ever been this honest with her, nobody had ever told her they liked her before.

Nobody had called her beautiful.

"So...Do you have any plans for Thanksgiving?" He asked, plastering his face with a fake smile.

"Ugh…I'm going to see family, back home, in Michigan."

"Oh that sounds great. Hope you have a nice time." He nodded, with a pained expression. "I…eh…I better get going."

"Right, yeah, sorry." She mumbled, unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out his car. She was halfway to her door before it all seemed to hit her.

Connor Rhodes liked her.

He had wanted to kiss her.

And he just laid his heart out to her.

"Connor!" She spun on the spot and rushed back to the car.

"Yeah…. is everything okay?" He asked as he killed the engine.

"Yeah. No. I mean…" she rounded the car to his side.

And for the first time since Jason had been born, she didn't overthink her actions. She just went with what she felt.

He had wound down his window, so she leaned in and pressed her lips to his briefly but enough to make her world spin.

He looked as surprised as she did when she straightened up and opened her eyes.

"Please tell me I didn't just imagine that…" he whispered shyly as he looked at her with those blue eyes.

"I hope not…"

"Sarah." James called from the door of her house. Connor froze and Sarah prayed her stepdad had not seen what had just happened.

She and Connor shared a glance, she didn't think either of them could say more right now.

As she walked back, she couldn't help but feel like she'd just made the best decision, one that didn't require for her to follow her head but her heart.

Finally! Those two kissed and Sarah took the first step, what did you think? Sound off in the comments and thanks for reading!

Angst is coming even though Rheese is making progress!