Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC.

A/N: To make up for the nearly two weeks between updates, this is the longest chapter yet. Hope you like it :)

Chapter Fourteen

If you were to ask seven year-old Addison Forbes Montgomery what she wanted to be when she grew up, she would give a seemingly innocent response: "a doctor who helps mommies and babies." The thing was, though, that Addison was not as innocent as most children her age. When she was six, her mother passed away due to complications from giving birth to a stillborn son. Over thirty years later, Addison remembers that day as if it had just happened. She remembered being so excited about becoming a big sister. She would ask her mother all the time about when the baby would be born. And then one day, all of the excitement and happiness was gone. Despite the fact that she was a very privileged little girl, she would never be the same again. Addison's childhood innocence was shattered.

Now that she was pregnant herself, Addison thought about her mother and brother more often than she had in years; she feared something would happen that would leave her child without a mother or she and Mark without the baby or Mark without her and the baby. She was never ready to have children with Derek because of that fear. She had witnessed her father's devastation and had experienced her own. She did not want to experience it all over again, and she hadn't wanted Derek to know that kind of grief. It was too much.

For the most part, Addison had been enjoying her pregnancy, but some days, she found herself overwhelmed with fear, like on the day of her miscarriage scare. Some nights, she would wake up in a cold sweat after reliving the day of her mother and brother's deaths in a nightmare. Other times, she would dream that something awful had happened to the baby. The night before her amniocentesis, Addison didn't sleep at all. She spent all night tossing and turning in her bed, unable to sleep as she worried about the appointment. The odds of complications were small, and the odds of there being something wrong with the baby were also small—she knew this. But she still worried.

Addison's alarm clock went off at 5:45 on the morning of her amniocentesis. She was already awake, but she hit the snooze button anyway, hoping that maybe she could fall asleep and forget about everything for fifteen minutes. She turned over onto her other side, pulled the covers over her head, and took a few deep breaths before closing her eyes.

Ten minutes later, her cell phone was ringing. Without opening her eyes, she blindly reached over to her nightstand and flipped open her phone. She was so tired, though, that she forgot to say something, and for several seconds, she just breathed into the receiver.

"Addie? Are you there?" It was Mark.

"Hm? Yeah. Sorry," she mumbled sleepily, eyes still closed.

"You didn't sleep at all, did you?" He asked.

"No, I slept," she lied. I am such a bad liar.

"You are such a bad liar," he told her. "It's going to be fine, Addison. I promise. Now get up and open your front door. You just might have a surprise visitor here to make you breakfast."

"You're making me move? I don't want to move. I'm comfy and warm here," she pouted. "I hate you."

"Four words, Add: Chocolate chip blueberry pancakes," he whispered into the phone.

Addison's eyes shot open. She had been craving pancakes with blueberries and chocolate chips for three days but hadn't had time to go out and get the ingredients to make them. She hung up the phone, jumped out of bed, ran downstairs, and threw open the door. Mark stood there looking at his watch with a smirk on his face.

"Yep. I knew that would work. Took you about ten seconds," he teased, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

"Where are my pancakes?" She whined, wrapping her arms around him. "You do not promise a pregnant woman the chocolate chip blueberry pancakes she has been craving for days and then just not have them."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Relax. Go back upstairs and take a shower. When you come back down, you can have as many chocolate chip blueberry pancakes as you can eat."

Twenty minutes later, Addison entered the kitchen dressed in pajama pants and a camisole that didn't quite cover her nearly seventeen weeks pregnant stomach. For the time being, her worries were gone. She grinned at Mark and sat down at the table where he had poured her a glass of milk. The room smelled fantastic to her—freshly made pancakes with chocolate and blueberries. She couldn't wait to eat one… or twenty.

Mark put four pancakes on a plate and put them on the table in front of Addison who promptly picked up the whole stack and took a huge bite, completely filling her mouth. She closed her eyes and savored the taste. Her three-day craving was finally satisfied.

"You look like you haven't seen food in days," Mark laughed at her. "You should see your face."

"Leave me alone. These are the best pancakes in the whole world. I can't believe I never thought of combining blueberries and chocolate chips before. I am such a genius."

"I don't know, Add. They say there's a fine line between genius and insanity," he teased. Personally, he thought the combination was pretty gross.

Addison stuck her tongue out playfully and then took another large bite out of the stack of pancakes. Halfway through chewing, her eyes lit up; she had an idea. Walking over to the pantry, she grabbed a jar of peanut butter and then a knife. Mark looked at her strangely.

"No way. You just crossed a line. That's disgusting. A peanut butter chocolate chip blueberry pancake sandwich?"

"Yep. Try saying that one five times fast. Oh my God this is going to be fabulous," she said as she excitedly spread peanut butter on three of the pancakes and stuck them together.

Mark cringed as she took a bite. He knew Addison would have strange food cravings, but this was a lot stranger than he ever expected. "Addie, that has got to be the weirdest thing I have ever seen someone eat for breakfast."

With her mouth full, she held the sandwich out to him and gestured for him to take a bite.

"I think I'm going to pass on this one."

"Fine. More for us then. Right, baby? He doesn't know what he's missing," Addison cooed while rubbing her stomach affectionately.

"You have no idea how cute that belly makes you, do you?" Mark grinned, causing Addison to blush.

"You have no idea how nauseatingly cute you both are acting, do you?" Nancy asked as she walked into the kitchen. She was in town to perform the amniocentesis and to check up on Addison and the baby.

"Good morning to you, too, Nancy-Pants," Mark said sarcastically. He was embarrassed that she caught him talking like that to Addison. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Well if you were given the choice between sleeping in Derek's trailer or sleeping here, which would you pick?"

Two hours later, Addison, Mark, and Nancy were in an exam room at Seattle Grace. Alex was there, too; he was going to observe the procedure. Nancy went through her usual list of questions for patients in their seventeenth week, and everything seemed to be on track. Addison's worries had returned, but she was trying to hide it.

"You are doing fine, Addison," Nancy reassured her, sensing her nervousness. "I know you worry about every little thing that could possibly go wrong since you see women and babies with complications every day. I know you do because I did the same thing when I was pregnant with all three of my boys. It's emotionally taxing to be pregnant and in our line of work, but I really think everything is going to be fine."

Addison nodded and gave Nancy a small, apprehensive smile as Mark squeezed her hand.

"Can we see the baby now?" Mark asked, sounding like an impatient little kid.

Nancy applied the gel to Addison's stomach and then gently pressed the wand against it. As soon as the baby appeared on the screen, Mark leaned down and placed small kisses all over Addison's smiling face. It was kind of awkward for Nancy, considering Addison used to be her brother's wife, but ultimately, it didn't matter. She was happy for them.

The baby was developing very nicely and had a strong, steady heartbeat. He or she was moving around, and Addison knew that she would be able to feel the movements at some point in the very near future. They were able to see the baby's perfectly formed spine, arms, legs, and heart. Nancy even zoomed in so Addison and Mark could see their child's tiny fingers.

"See, Addie? She's perfect," Mark whispered comfortingly in her ear. "We've got nothing to worry about."

After several minutes of just watching the baby, it was time for the amnio. Addison's heart began to race, and her eyes teared up.

"I'm not ready for this," she said.

Alex stepped up to her side. "Yeah you are, Montgomery. You guys will be fine. And look at it this way—at least she's doing the procedure and not me. She knows what she's doing. It's going to be fine," he told her, offering a small smile.

"Addison, you need to calm down for us," Mark said soothingly as he stroked her hair.

"We both do these all the time for patients, Addie. You know that the odds of something going wrong or something being wrong with the baby are low. So just take a few deep breaths for me, and we're going to do this, okay?"

Addison closed her eyes, and before she knew it, Nancy was done with the procedure.

"So how's the baby?" Derek asked his sister bitterly before taking a bite of his sandwich. Nancy had met him for lunch in his office.

"Derek, come on," Nancy replied, annoyed at her brother's lack of maturity. "Why can't you just let go?"

"Nancy, I was married to her for eleven years. Eleven years and no kids, and you know how much I love kids. She was never 'ready' to be a mother, and I grew to hate her for it. All I wanted was a baby, and she wouldn't give that to me. She was so selfish. And now she's pregnant and happy with Mark, for God's sake. It just isn't right. It's not fair."

"You're right. It isn't fair. They did a lot wrong."

"Exactly."

"But you messed up, too. This whole situation wasn't all their fault, and you know it. You stopped loving Addie a long time ago. Even if she had given in and had a baby with you, your marriage was too far-gone. You know that adding a baby to the mix wouldn't have saved things. Derek, you can't change what happened. Regardless of how unfair it may have been. Being this bitter is getting you nowhere. You're only digging yourself into a deeper hole. I don't like to see you like this. You are my little brother, and I love you, but I miss the person you used to be."

She was right. He had dug himself into a huge hole. It was a vicious cycle. The angrier he was, the worse he felt, and the more he alienated himself from everyone. Currently, he had no friends and a girlfriend whom he wasn't on normal speaking terms with. Day after day of this just made things worse and worse.

"So what am I supposed to do then?" He asked angrily. "Kathleen's the shrink. Shouldn't you leave the advice-giving to her?"

Nancy ignored the latter of Derek's questions. "As smart as you are, Derek, you have serious communication issues. Talk to the people you're angry with. Talk to them like you used to. I'm not saying you should jump right into it, but start off small. Maybe let the intern in on a big surgery to open up an opportunity for some dialogue. See how she's been doing. Something like that. You can't just shut people out and be angry anymore. You've lost too much. And you've known Mark and Addison for too long to lose them."

He knew she was right on that one, too. Being angry and shutting people out was something he had always done. He shut Addison out because she wouldn't have a baby with him. He shut Mark out after he slept with Addison. He shut Meredith out because she wanted to be her own person. He never once really stood back to see things from their point of view, if he even allowed them to give their point of view at all. His rational side knew Nancy was right—his irrational side just had the better of him.

"So how's life on the Gynie Squad, Evil Spawn?" Cristina asked Alex. The interns were outside at their usual lunch table that afternoon instead of inside with really, really old guy.

"It's kicking ass, thank you very much," he responded. "I got to assist on Montgomery's amnio today, and I get to hold down the fort until she gets back the day after tomorrow."

"So you're babysitting, basically?"

"If that's what you want to call it, sure, but you know it's a lot harder than it sounds. If I recall, you could barely handle taking care of Bailey's kid for a few hours—and he was completely healthy," Alex smirked. "Try seven preemies and two high-risk mothers."

George and Izzie snickered at Cristina, and Cristina smacked George.

"Okay. You made your point," she conceded. "How are the conjoined twins?"

"You wish you had that case, don't you Cristina?" George teased. Cristina held up her plastic fork and gave him a threatening glare.

"They should be able to go home in a week or two. They've grown so much. It's unbelievable, and I can't wait to see them separated in a few months. They're perfect candidates," he said. "And their parents are amazing. You should see them. They've been coming in almost every day for five weeks now, and they love those little girls like nothing else. It's been pretty cool to watch the whole family bonding thing happen, as lame as that sounds. You wouldn't get it unless you saw it, Yang."

"And the bake sale is next week!" Izzie jumped in. "I'm so excited. I'm going to be baking all weekend."

"And I suppose that means I'll be helping," Meredith smiled.

"Or at least doing the clean-up," George mumbled under his breath. He was so not looking forward to the giant mess from all the baking. Somehow, he always ended up cleaning Izzie's famous kitchen messes.

Cristina looked up from the table to see Derek walking toward them.

"Mere, McDick is going to be here in about five seconds, so here's your warning," she whispered.

Derek approached the table where the five interns sat. They looked up at him strangely before continuing to eat in silence.

"Um… Dr. Grey, I was wondering if you would like to scrub in on a craniotomy I'm doing this afternoon for a patient with dystonia. We're going to implant a stimulator, and since you've helped me in a similar procedure, I thought you might be interested."

This was Derek's attempt to open up communications with Meredith. Since Meredith had been looking for an easy opportunity to talk to Derek for a week, she decided to take him up on the offer, especially since that was going to be a damn good surgery.

"I'm with Dr. Bailey today, so you'll need to clear it with her, but I would definitely be interested in scrubbing in for that," she responded, trying to sound very business-like.

"I will do that. It's at 4:30, so I'll see you around 4 in OR 3, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you Dr. Shepherd."

"Y-you're welcome," he said before turning and leaving.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I wonder what that was all about."

"He obviously needs some action, Grey," Alex joked. "Seriously. When was the last time he got laid?"

"Eight weeks and three days ago, but it's not like I'm keeping track or anything… It's just that it's been so long that I happen to remember exactly how long it's been."

Cristina hadn't been paying attention to Meredith and Alex's exchange. "Why is it that lately, everyone gets cool surgeries except for me?"

Mark took the rest of the day off so he could take care of Addison. They ate a light lunch at her apartment before taking a nap together upstairs. Addison was so exhausted from not sleeping the night before that her short nap turned into long five-hour nap.

Even in her sleep, Addison was glowing. Mark tucked some of her hair behind her ear so he could get a better look at her face, which was slightly fuller and rosier from pregnancy. She looked so gorgeous and peaceful that he couldn't help but grin. He knew he probably looked ridiculous smiling as widely as he was, but he didn't care because she was his. Her soft smile and the way she had her arm draped over the curve of her stomach made him melt. Mark was lucky, and he knew it.

He worried about ruining everything, though. His track record was terrible. As much as he loved Addison and their baby, Mark was afraid that one day, he would fall back into his old ways. He didn't see it happening any time soon, but the thought of losing everything because of another one of his stupid mistakes scared him to death. At least they were taking it slow. He didn't think he could live with himself if he hurt Addison again and lost the right to love her and their child.

Before Mark could get to worrying too much, Addison stirred in her sleep and rolled over to face him. As she slowly opened her eyes, Mark smiled and kissed her lightly on the lips. She smiled back.

"Feeling better, babe?" He asked her.

"Much," she replied before she sighed and stretched.

And then it happened. It was very faint flutter at first, but within half a second, Addison knew it was more. Her eyes widened as the feeling became more distinct, and she quickly put a hand to her stomach.

"She's moving, Mark," Addison said quietly as she locked eyes with him. "I can feel her."

"Seriously? Where?" Mark asked in amazement. "Where did you feel her?"

"Right where my hand is, but she's not doing it anymore," Addison told him, replacing her hand with his. "Wait… Okay. Did you feel that?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I did." Mark was beaming as he rubbed soft circles over the spot on Addison's stomach. "Wow."

Addison grinned at Mark's expression. She had never seen that look on his face before. He was in absolute awe. And so was she.

"God, Addie. I… I love you." He hadn't expected to say that, but it came out of his mouth anyway. Shit… I hope she was ready to hear that, he thought to himself.

But she was. "Thank you," she said in a high-pitched voice as she fought back tears. "I mean… Oh God… That's not what I meant to say. Well, I do mean 'thank you,' but also… I love you too. I've been thinking about telling you these last couple days, but I didn't want to scare you away, so I didn't. I was going to wait for you to say it first just in case, and—"

Mark laughed at how Addison's happiness and nervousness was causing her to talk a mile a minute before he cut her off mid-sentence by kissing her breathless.

"This is amazing, Addie. You are amazing." He pulled her to him so he was spooning her. They laced their fingers together and placed their joined hands over their baby. He kissed the top of her head and breathed in her scent, wanting to remember everything about this moment. "I wish she could hear us now. I want to talk to her."

"Give her about five or six more weeks. Then we can talk to her all we want," Addison told him. The thought of Mark wanting to talk to their baby made her immensely happy.

They sat in silence for a while, reflecting on everything that had just happened. There were no words for what they had just experienced. Addison sighed contentedly, breaking the silence, as she listened to Mark's heart beating in his chest.

"Hey, Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you move in with me?"

"Yeah."

Suddenly, things became about a hundred times more real to Mark. He hadn't given Addison's question any thought at all. He just mindlessly spit out an answer. He was terrified. How was he going to tell her that he wasn't ready without her freaking out?

This chapter gave me a lot of trouble for some reason. I'm hoping it ended up okay. Basically, what I was trying to get across is that Addison, Mark, and Derek all have communication issues. With Addison and Mark, they both have things they are afraid of that are weighing on their minds. They're going to fake being okay until one of them just breaks. With Derek, he throws a tantrum and then doesn't talk at all. Before any of them can move forward with their relationships and friendships, they are going to have to do some talking. And that's pretty much what's coming up. As for the cheese factor of this chapter... hopefully it wasn't too much, but since Addison is at an exciting point in her pregnancy, I couldn't help it. I am a sucker for happy Maddison. Anyway. Hope everyone had a nice holiday. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Tell me what you think of this chapter if you get a chance. :) I'll try to get something else up by the weekend.