Disclaimer: I never was and never will be S. Meyer.

[Bella POV]

I was crying now, huge fat tears running down my face. I don't get this, we had been so close, over the last few days I really felt as if I could trust her, and now, when I'm faced with the heart-breaking sight of the person she knows I am in love with in such a terrible condition, she is shouting and hollering at him like it was all his fault. Maybe I really didn't know her at all…maybe this was what she was really like, around the guys at least.

"Ahhh, looky-see big bad wolf, I made your little lady cry and you can't stop me, you useless excuse for a wolf…"

It's so mean, the way she taunting him, he didn't make himself sick. Why doesn't Sam stop her?

"You broken wolf…"

Wait, what did she say, why does that sound familiar?

"You defective wolf…"

My eyes grew wide and I almost choked on my tears, he was…he is…my 'defective wolf', my Jake is my wolf, but then why wouldn't he say, why didn't he tell me. Could he - no that's not possible, he wouldn't have been scared to tell me, scared that I would still reject him, like I had done countless times before, scared that I would fight against…the connection. The conversation I had with him on the phone replayed itself in my mind - oh my God what have I done?

Leah's hard hands interrupted my thoughts as she hauled me to my feet shaking me. I pleaded with her, she needed to let me go. I was crying harder now – not because of the pain but with the realisation that I was the reason that Jake was lying broken in front of me. It was my fault, just as Edward had left me lying in that wood – unable to respond, unable to reason, so I had done the same to Jake when he had needed the reassurance of my love for him more than anything. Now he was lost inside himself, clutching at the hole I had carved in him when I had prattled on about breaking the 'connection'. I needed her to let me go so that I could plead with him, beg him to understand my mistake.

Leah's eyes locked mine and I nearly blacked out with shock. The look inside them resonated so clearly within me that I felt myself transported back to Phoenix, staring in the mirror as I plotted to evade Alice and Jasper and sacrifice myself to James in return for my mother's safety. These were the eyes of someone who was prepared to die in the place of someone they loved. I couldn't cry anymore, the shock was too much, something terrible was about to happen and Leah was ready for it. I couldn't find any words, my mind was a jumble.

I registered her movement as she drew her hand back and my mind threw itself into recollection again – snapping now to my birthday watching the single drop of blood fall and seeing the vampire inside Jasper burst into life. Realisation hit me, I understood exactly what was going to take place and I opened my mouth to cry out to Leah to stop. I knew then that she was going to unleash the wrath of a protector on herself in order to save him, but I had seen how many vampires it took to hold Jasper in place once he had given in to his other side, and the rest of the wolves were too far away. Please don't do this Leah, please.

The blow connected before any of these words could tumble from my mouth. I didn't even cry out, much as when I had been thrown into the glass on the same night. I knew it would hurt later on but right now, the fear I felt for Leah overwhelmed any other sensation. I felt myself flying to the side and being caught up into a strong hold. Sam turned and I was now facing out into the hallway. I struggled against his grip, desperate to try and regain access to the situation whilst hearing terrifying crashes and wood splintering. A huge impact jarred through me and I felt Sam crumple behind me. I was dropping to the floor, his huge frame crashing down over me, pinning me partially underneath him. I could smell the overwhelming scent of blood. As I twisted I could see the back of his head and upper back carved with huge claw marks, the blow he had sustained clearly sufficient to render him unconscious.

I spun my head to the left straining to make out the others in the backyard. They were all fixed in place – fear, anguish and torment etched on their faces – I looked back at Sam and realised that they had been locked and even unconscious his order still held – meaning that they were powerless to help. Billy was gripping the arms of his chair and Harry was leaning heavily on the wheelchair frame – one hand gripping his chest. I twisted and tugged, trying to heave myself out from Sam's heavy body.

As I moved I could see better into the bedroom and sickness rose in my throat as I saw my wolf…my Jake's...huge teeth embedded in Leah's shoulder. I saw his head pull back and the second wave of the smell of flowing blood hit me, making me reel in disgust. Her body was limp, I couldn't see her face from the angle but there was no reaction, no response and I began to fear the worst. I needed him to stop, I needed him to realise. He would never forgive himself otherwise and his guilt would destroy his family, my new family, like Jasper's guilt had destroyed my old family.

I needed him with every fibre of my being. I turned now, face to face as he moved to attack Leah again. I summed up every ounce of wish, desire, need, call it what you will and begged him out loud.

"Jake, please, my Jake, I need you, help me please".

His focus altered, time seemed to slow down as he turned his head towards me, dropping down from his hind legs to all fours. He was panting, I could feel the anger still coursing through him, it was that palpable and I sought to keep his attention before he might return to his attack. I tilted my head back to look up at him now he was closer and whimpered as the pain registered in my jaw. I raised my arms to him as if I were a child, seeking comfort, reassurance after a fall and watched in amazement as his body seemed to constrict and fold in on itself, snapping and reducing back into a human form. His eyes were dark and absent of recognition and I knew that my Jake was still lost somewhere inside.

I continued to hold my arms up and whimpered again, realising that my need for his protection seemed on some level to be over-riding his desire to continue his attack on Leah. I stared into his beautiful eyes, tears welling in my own again as I saw for myself the pain that I had caused him. He moved towards me and I took in the changes that he had gone through. He had recently appeared strong and well proportioned, his body had grown considerably since I had seen him last. His huge arms with large ripped muscles were crawling towards me. I saw his massive shoulders and chest and as he moved this time I brought my eyes up swiftly to meet his again. I hadn't exactly registered that he wouldn't be wearing any clothing after the transformation and despite the intensity of the situation felt a steady blush forming on my cheeks.

He moved Sam's torso from my legs with a single push and I heard a low moan from Sam as he began to stir. Jake swept me up into his arms, pressing me tight against his chest as if carrying a small child.

Sam came to and I hissed to him quietly "Let them help you, get her safe" as Jake carried me away towards the living room.

I heard movement – graceful, stealth-like movement, and Leah's moans as they moved her, thank god she was still alive. Jake lowered me onto the sofa and I fought to keep my eyes locked to his rather than take in all of his masculine beauty. He seemed unaware of his situation which continued to worry me and I gently tugged him to sit down next to me. I was grateful for once for his and Billy's lack of general house-keeping as my hand touched on a stray t-shirt which I laid over his lap, continuing to keep my eyes firmly locked on his. His face came close to mine and he stuck his nose out, the tip touching against the drying blood on my chin. I wrapped my arms around his neck, fearful that the blood might trigger a fresh attack and moved his head until it was resting on my shoulder.

Sam warily appeared in the doorway, unsteady on his feet. I felt Jake's muscles begin to tense and I held him tighter.

"Go now, all of you" I hissed quietly.

"It's not safe, I can't…" Sam's words were slightly slurred, his pain evident.

"Go NOW" I demanded and met his eyes with mine.

I would not take the chance of anyone else being hurt because of my actions. I could hardly bear the guilt for the pain Leah must be in and I was worried about Harry also. I did not know what Sam's fear was, this was my Jake, he would never hurt me, even if he was confused and in pain. Sam bowed out, clearly unhappy but obviously pulled by the need to attend to Leah. I felt saddened for him also, although he had moved on with his 'connection', it must still be devastating to watch someone you once loved being attacked like that.

I listened as I heard the sounds of Leah, Harry and Billy being helped into the truck and it driving away, I assumed that the others were going to be running on foot beside them. I began to stroke Jake's hair, trying to reassure him as he sat. I started to talk to him quietly, telling him how much I'd missed him, how much I had wanted to see him. I stroked his face gently nudging him up so he was sitting properly now. I moved around on my knees so I was facing him, trying to look in his eyes and get a glimmer of recognition. But they were still dark, empty pools.

I began to get desperate, needing him to acknowledge me, needing him to realise how much I loved him and I became bolder by the second. I leant forward now, kissing him on the forehead, his cheeks, telling him how much I needed him. I climbed over him, careful not to dislodge the t-shirt, straddling his legs and resting my knees either side. I placed my hands on both sides of his face as I leant down, gently brushing my lips against his. I winced inside as the pain registered but carried on regardless.

I pulled back, seeking his eyes and whispered "I love you Jake".

I leaned in again, pressing my lips to his harder this time in spite of the pain, then pulled back again "It was you Jake".

This time as I kissed him I reached out the tip of my tongue, running it across his dry lips before whispering almost against him "I choose you Jake".

I pressed harder and almost jumped as I felt his lips respond slightly, moulding to mine as the muscles in his arms twitched to life. His arms folded around my hips drawing me to him and I gasped against his mouth.

He lips caught mine this time, deepening the kiss immediately. I felt lost and found all at once, the relief and desire overwhelming me. His hands roamed across my back, as if trying to reassure himself that I was real. One hand caught the back of head, pressing into my hair and deepening the kiss even further. I moaned into his mouth, partly from pain at the pressure against my damaged lip but mostly from an incredible sense of desire. I was losing the capacity for rational thought. All I wanted was his mouth, his tongue, his hands on me, his body pressed against me.

His mouth formed a single word against mine "Bella", his voice was cracked and strained but it was the most beautiful sound nonetheless.

"Yes Jake, I'm here, I love you, I'm yours", the words tumbled from me, I was almost breathless by now.

The hands holding me tightened and his kiss grew more passionate, heating my whole body from within. He made a low growling sound, seeming to come from deep within him and spoke just one more word "Mine".

The world seemed to moved as I panted "Yes, I love you, I choose you" and then I acknowledged that my world really was moving. I was on my back now, the floor cushioned by the soft rug we used to do homework on. Jake's kisses were bombarding my senses as I registered his weight settling on to me. I had never experienced this type of position, let along this furious sense of desire. Jake's hands and mouth were causing me to lose track of everything, his warmth enveloped me, the electricity from his touch ignited me. I was writhing against him oblivious of everything else.

As his mouth met mine each time I felt waves of emotion crashing over me. It was as if at this one moment, every pain that I had ever experienced in my life was being purged from me. I arched up to him seeking to connect with every part of him as that warmth covered me, nurtured me and protected me. He was my saviour, my sun, the reason for me to be and I had almost lost him, he was almost taken from me.

I needed him to be mine, I needed us. I needed him. Once again I crashed under another wave of desire, of bliss. He was my everything, his hands, his warmth. The wave came again and I panted trying to make sense of the feeling, trying to think but the pleasure came dragging me back down. I had never known the world until this moment, this pleasure was going to be the death of me. I was aware of movement, warm, blissful movement, then a sudden pain sliced my thought and his arms tightened around me, his eyes locking on to mine as suddenly, the pleasure, the pain registered in me. In that second I realised that we had moved further than I had ever considered, imagined or even truly allowed myself to dream of but the pleasure, the sense of desire urged me on as his body moved as one with mine, filling me completely.

My breath caught as his kisses rained down on my neck, his moans of my name becoming a melody in my ears as his movements increased their furious pace. This was my Jake, my wolf, mine, just as I was his. He had come back to me, he wasn't lost, I would not lose him again, for all eternity. I began to mumble – all sorts of random words of love and adoration. As another wave of pleasure built up I cried out "I belong to you" and he moved purposefully against me and within me. He lifted his head, starting deep into my eyes, his deep voice saying words I didn't understand, in a language I didn't know. He sounded them out in time with each thrust, the beautiful words rising me up again on another wave of pleasure. His breath caught and then my name was strangled out almost in a crying sob as I felt him shudder against me. He slumped against me and the enormity of the moment rose up to met me as he did so. I had just…we had just…Jake and I had…Oh my god.

I rested my head against his as I tried to take it all in. Jake moved back, leaning up on one shoulder. His eyes meeting mine, Jake's eyes, full of him, full of life, the dark pools now swimming with emotion and a thousand words, a thousand questions bubbled up inside of me. He ran his hand down the side of my face, smoothing the hair away and gently ran a finger over my bruised lip and jaw. He leant in as if to kiss it when suddenly his head snapped towards the door. "Someone's coming".

He sprung to his feet and shot through the house, pushing me into the bathroom. I heard Sam shouting Jake's name as he crashed through the front door.

"Jake, you need to come now, the elders, you need to see them".

Jake didn't respond and I pressed against the bathroom door, holding it closed in case Sam decided to come crashing into here too.

Sam was not going to be deterred and demanded again

"Jake you need to see the Elders now! I'm not the Alpha anymore!"