-14-

It had been almost three weeks for Felix in the hospital. She'd lost a lot of blood during her days with Erik, not to mention severe trauma to the head and the numerous cuts, bruises, and bite marks that littered her body. She had a few cracked bones and was also drained of nutrients and she was dehydrated, so the doctors insisted on keeping her on lock down until she could process solid foods.

The damage to her leg was minimal, it was a deep cut, but it missed the femoral artery, thanks to Gibbs's marksmanship. Her face was healing up nicely with no need for any reconstructive surgery. Everyone knew was a tough cookie and it was hard to truly break her.

She was allowed visitors, at all hours, especially Dexter who charmed the pants off of all the hospital staff and frequently made rounds to the pediatric ward to visit children with severe illnesses. Abby brought him in almost everyday, along with plenty of hugs and kisses and tearful promises to go clubbing once Felix was back on her feet. Many times she had brought McGee and they tried to hold hands inconspicuously, which failed miserably, especially with DiNozzo around.

Gibbs had all the pellets removed with no major bone or artery damage. He had a few nicks and bruises, but overall he was fine. He went through minimal physical therapy and was allowed to be back on the job in less than two weeks. When he was hospitalized for a few days, he sat with Felix and talked almost all day. They also played cards and occasionally watched TV, holding hands. Now that he was back on duty he still took time out of each day to come visit her, play cards, talk, and watch TV. A few times they groped each other furiously, cursing the Nazi nurse who had some sort of pheromone radar and always seemed to interrupt at the most annoying times.

Today was her second and a half week anniversary, and it was starting to show.

"God damnit! I just want to eat a pizza or some fucking Phở!" She growled after the nurse delivered her a bowl of oatmeal and some mashed potatoes. "Who serves people oatmeal and mashed potatoes? HONESTLY!" She flopped down on her back, cursing the world for being so unfair.

"Do I have to shove it down your throat?" Gibbs smiled, scooting closer to the bed, "You need to eat more."

"I need to eat more food Gibbs, this isn't food. Its cruel and unusual punishment!" She shouted, hoping the nurses could hear her. She leaned forward, smiling at Gibbs, "Actually I'm just hoping I can be evil enough to get kicked out, so I can go home and get myself some Chipotle or a fucking hamburger."

Gibbs just smiled, "Eat it." He said sternly, "You're getting too thin."

"Thanks mom." She said disagreeably and started shoveling in the food without really tasting it. "Uck," She said and put down her spoon, "I feel like I'm eating vomit. Is this food predigested!?" She shouted again.

Gibbs just chuckled, "Just eat." He said and nudged her plate.

She rolled her eyes at him, "I hate you." She growled.

"No you don't." He said, "That's a mean thing to say." And he made a pouty face.

Felix let out a bark of laughter, "If I could truly believethat you are capable of having emotions, maybe, just maybe, I would believe that face." She took a bite and then pointed her spoon at him, glaring, "But its a crock of shit and you know it." He grinned.

"We've missed you." He smiled.

"You and your libido or the team?" She chuckled, spooning in another mouthful.

"All of the above," He chuckled, "Any news on when you'll be back?"

"Well," Felix shrugged, "Considering I don't get shit canned for this debacle, soon I hope."

"Why would you get fired?" Gibbs asked, confused.

"Oh you're so dense." She smiled and rolled her food around in her bowl, "Gibbs, Abby's been telling me that there are rumors circulating NCIS."

He raised an eyebrow, "What kind of rumors?"

She sighed, "Rumors about you and me," She said lamely. "Rumors that Vance knows and I'm going to get shit canned because I'm the newbie." She bit her lip.

"I wont let that happen." He growled.

She shrugged, "I'm not sure there's anything you can do, Gibbs." She sighed, "I mean, you and me, we don't exactly have a label." She muttered and then continued nervously, "Not that I'm asking for one -," She sighed, "Its just that, well, if we want this to be serious, we have to report it to HR. If we report it to HR, I'll get canned because I'm the inferior officer. I'd be kicked off the team..." She left it hanging. "I'd probably be better off just transferring to another team or applying to work in the lab..."

"Do you want that?" Gibbs asked, staring at his lap.

"To be fired? Fuck n-,"

"I didn't mean that." He said and reached for her hand, rubbing his thumb along her knuckles. "The label. Do you want it?" She shrugged. He sighed, "Look Felix, I've spent a lot of time with you. You're a great girl and one hell of an agent-,"

"But." She said and pulled her hand away.

"But what?"

"The treacherous 'but' statement." Felix said and put up a hand, "Save me my dignity of being 'dumped' by my boss. I don't need that again."

He slapped her hand out of the way, "Knock it off, I'm trying to ask you a question."

She was taken back by his seriousness, "All right. Shoot."

"I vowed to myself that I'd never be involved with a co-worker."

"That's not a question, thats rule number 12." He glared. "Got it." She said, "Please Gibbs, I really don't want to do this right now." She bit her lip, tears starting to form in her eyes.

He looked at her with the Gibbs's glare and she shut her mouth, "Let me fucking talk," he growled, "I vowed I'd never be involved with a coworker, but it happened." He said seriously, "And I need to deal with those consequences." He reached for her hand again, "When you were abducted, I absolutely lost it. I couldn't think, I couldn't work, I could barely even breathe. Every time I closed my eyes, I thought of you and it almost drove me insane." Felix opened her mouth to say something and Gibbs glared at her again, so she remained quiet, "The thing is, I haven't felt this good in a long time. I feel better during the day, I'm smiling more often," He chuckled, "The thing is, I cant have you on my team because I would spend every fucking second of the day worrying about whether or not you would be all right."

"I understa-," He clamped a hand over her mouth.

"I'm not finished." He growled, "I care about you Felix. I really do. I don't want to loose you, but I don't want you at risk either." He said, his hand moving to caress her cheek. "I don't want to ask you to risk your career as an NCIS agent. I wont ask you to choose me or the agency because thats just ridiculous. I'm just being honest with my feelings for the first time in..." He tried to count the years, but he didn't have enough time, "In a long time. I'm too old to be playing the bachelor these days. I'm not asking for anything else, I'm just telling you how I feel: I care about you, I feel comfortable with you, and more importantly, I trust you." He stood up and kissed her softly on the lips. "Think about it okay? I'll see you back at work."

Once he was gone Felix let out her tears - she hated being such a girl. Gibbs had very valid points, but she feared the looks she'd start getting at NCIS if she was that girl. She thought about her career and what she wanted out of life and she thought about Gibbs and whether or not he factored into that equation.

It was a hard decision, but he was right, he didn't need to play the bachelor anymore. He shouldn't have to fool around with his rookie, he deserved something better than that.

And Felix realized so did she. She could work with Gibbs, but she felt the same way. She worried about his welfare, wanted him to be okay, wanted to make sure he was safe, and a lot of times it got in the way of an investigation or a take down and that was risking the lives of her team members in exchange for satisfying her primal needs with her boss. She dropped her head into her hands and felt her resolve shaking.

She loved Gibbs and she'd do the right thing...

...For the both of them.