Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay! The last few months were kind of busy. ^^; But today's my birthday and this fic's fifth anniversary, so here's the new chapter. Hopefully I can finish this story by this time next year!
"Chinese Fake-Out," Part 2
Chris, Chef and the interns took them to a restaurant at the foot of the Great Wall. Sierra, as a loser, was instructed to sit separately from the others (she had to be manually pried from Cody to achieve this). Chris began his shtick as soon as Billy had the camera going.
"To win today, you'll have to eat more than everybody else at this totally awesome Chinese restaurant."
"Who doesn't love wontons?" Cody said excitedly. "Last New Year's, I ate about a thousand of—"
"Except that this the world's most authentic Chinese restaurant," Chris said. "You'll be enjoying real street food delicacies: deep-fried grasshoppers, kung-pow larvae—"
Alejandro began to wretch. "Problem, Al?" Heather asked with a smirk.
He scoffed. "I'm fine. Where I'm from, we eat barbecued guinea pig. This is—" he suddenly covered his mouth again "—nothing."
Heather's smirk widened, but before Alejandro could respond, Chris' cell phone rang again. He looked annoyed as he answered it.
"Yo, it's McLean. Yeeeaaah, I'm trying to make a show here?"
He walked off as an intern led Owen over to the table. "Oh, wow!" he said, his eyes going wide. "Are we having an eating contest?!"
"Yes...but you're not participating, remember?" Nelson said, talking like he would to a very small child.
"But I'm hungry!" he moaned.
"You might not be when you see what we're getting," Courtney grumbled.
"It's going to be 'authentic' Chinese food." Heather made air quotes around the word. "In other words—disgusting."
"No wontons," Cody said sadly.
Owen frowned. "Really? But wontons actually are an authentic Chinese delicacy, unlike most 'Chinese food' that you find in the West! In fact, archaeological digs in Turfan show that their history could go as far back as the 7th century!"
The others all looked at each other again, before Courtney spoke. "Okay, but that time it was about food, so it makes a little more sense."
"Yeah, that's true..."
Nelson led Owen to sit with Sierra, who was still watching Cody glumly. "Wait!" Alejandro said suddenly. Everybody stared at him. "I mean...can I see Owen alone for a moment until Chris is ready to start?" He pointed toward the host, who was still arguing on the phone.
"Uh...sure," Nelson shrugged.
Alejandro led a confused Owen off into a side-room. Heather glared after them, while Courtney glanced over warily.
Courtney: This is actually the first time that I compete in an eating contest on this show—and fortunately, I have a very strong stomach, so with Owen out of the way, I plan to excel at it.
Heather: What is Alejandro doing with my lackey?
"Eat all your food for you?!"
"Keep it down, you estu—...especially good friend of mine," Alejandro said, patting the big guy's shoulder. "We're amigos, remember? We help each other out?"
"But...I swore I would never cheat again!"
Alejandro scoffed. "This isn't cheating! Not if we don't get caught, anyway." A devilish grin twitched across his lips for a moment. "Just think of it as a trade-off! After all, you're going into tonight's vote with no chance of immunity—but I can make sure that nothing bad will happen to you."
Owen squirmed. "But...Heather said—"
"HEY!" came Chris' voice from the next room. "What happened to our contestants? We're running late as it is!"
Alejandro smiled and pushed Owen ahead of him, as the larger teen looked more anxious than ever.
"Okay," said Chris, pocketing his cell phone and walking in front of the contestants' table. "You have to eat each bowl of delish food, opening your mouth to prove it went down. If you're last to finish or you puke, you sit with Sierra and Owen over on the loser bench.
Sierra looked moody as Owen tapped his fingers together nervously.
Chef came by with a cart, throwing a bowl in front of each of the qualifying contestants. Everybody was too busy staring at the piece of meat within to notice as he paused to nod at Blaineley.
"Looks simply scrumptious, Chef!"
"What is it?" Cody asked, lifting it with his chopsticks for examination.
DING-DING!
Everybody groaned, except Chris. "Allow me to begin today's number!"
He immediately hopped over to a position facing the table, snapped his fingers and held out his arms. Nelson and Willy came forward, the former draping him in a blue robe and headdress while the latter added a fake beard and quick application of face paint. As soon as they were out of sight the inexplicable, stereotypically-Oriental music began to play and Chris began to sing.
"A little Chinese lesson for yooouuu! Man-man-chi means en-joy your meeeaaal!"
"Man-man-chi, it's no raw deal?"
Immediately the interns were back to remove Chris' costume, as Cody picked the meat up for another examination. "I-is it roasted eel?"
"It's donkey meat!" Chris said cheerfully, once Willy had wiped off the last of his face paint and scampered off set. "Local delicacy."
The other contestants sounded a chorus of disgust, but Cody jumped to his feet. "ACE?! Where are you?! Fart is you can hear me!"
Blaineley casually popped the food into her mouth. "Mmm, delicious."
The others all started to eat too, with Cody looking on in horror. Courtney grabbed his sweater-vest and pulled him back onto his stool. "Calm down! I doubt Chef had time to kill and cook him in the time it took us to walk here!" She ate the last bite of her food. "Besides, Ace probably didn't have this much meat on him anyway."
"I don't care! I can't ride Ace here and then just eat one of his donkey brothers!"
Heather finished eating and opened her mouth. "Cody! You're out! Loser-bench!" Chris said, pointing to the seat beside Sierra.
Cody groaned and shuffled off as Courtney slumped in her seat.
Courtney: Well, looks like I'm going to have to carry our alliance through this competition. Big surprise.
...Well, at least Cody doesn't really have any chance of getting eliminated this round anyway. Or Sierra either, I guess.
Cody headed over to Owen, who swallowed nervously (or swallowed for some reason, anyway). "Mind if I sit here?" he asked, taking the place between him and Alejandro. "I'd like to avoid Sierra."
"Um..." Owen said with wide eyes.
"CODY!"
Immediately she was on him, squeezing him tight. He groaned again as she carried him off to Owen's other side.
Owen sighed with relief—then remembered that he didn't want to be cheating in the first place and made a slight crying sound.
Chef was passing out a bowl of what looked like large, orangish-brown worms as thick as one's finger. Except for Blaineley's, which for some reason were longer, thinner and topped with meatballs and tomato sauce. Fortunately, everyone was too busy staring at their own food to notice.
"Mmm, smells delicious, Chef!" said Blaineley in unconvincing tones.
Chef winked. Chris, however, didn't hear that, as he had already snapped his fingers and summoned the interns to put on his outfit again.
Nelson paused in his work. "You know, sir...we could just leave this costume on you for the whole challenge instead of—"
"Uh-uh-uh! What am I paying you for, Redshirt?"
"You don't," Nelson sighed and put on Chris' headdress, signaling the music to start once again.
"Man-man-chi means boooon appetiiiit!"
"Man-man-chi, what do we have to eeeaaat?"
Heather looked on in horror as her food wiggled in the bowl. "It's still moving its feet! Its hundred and hundreds of disgusting little feet!"
"Live meal-worms! Local delicacy!"
"This is a country with a billion people! I refuse to believe that there are that many idiots who think that eating this is a good idea!"
Blaineley, however, had already starting scarfing her food down. "Wow, Chef, five stars! Mmm!" she said, apparently trying to ruin her edge with an incredible lack of sneakiness.
Sure enough, Heather noticed it. "Seriously?! You're enjoying this?!"
She shrugged and opened her mouth to show Chris she was done. "Oops! My hair-tie fell," Alejandro said, also opening his mouth as he sat up.
Courtney made a face as she swallowed one of her worms; she could still feel it moving inside her mouth. "You weren't wearing a hair-tie," she said, but only Heather (whose bowl was almost completely full) seemed to notice.
Courtney finished eating first, and Chris sent Heather over to the losers' side. She responded by throwing up on his face before storming off. He stood frozen, momentarily too stunned to speak.
"Redshirt? Towel."
Heather forced herself between Cody and Owen, arms crossed tightly over her chest. She suddenly glared when she noticed Owen chewing. He swallowed hard, then gave a big, toothy grin before quickly turning away. Heather could have sworn that she saw something worm-colored stuck between his teeth.
As soon as Chris was toweled off, Chef passed out the next round of food.
Courtney and Alejandro stared down at their bowls in horror. Inside was some kind of puke-green mush. With eyeballs. And tentacles. And eyeballs.
"Yeah, we don't even know what that's called," Chris admitted. "It ain't right, whatever it is."
He snapped his fingers, was quickly dressed again, and began to sing.
"Man-man-chi, don't get the squirts!"
"Man-man-chi, we'd rather eat our shirts—"
"Wait, stop!" Heather said, jumping to her feet. "Why does Blaineley's food look so much better?!"
"It's exactly the same!" Blaineley screamed, despite the fact that everyone was now staring at it and could see, as plain as the Great Wall half an inch from your face, that it was an ice cream sundae.
"And why does Alejandro keep bending over while he's eating?!" she demanded, stomping over to lift up the tablecloth.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Owen said, causing everyone to suddenly focus on him. "I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING I HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE BREAKFAST I PROMISE BURRRRRRP!"
He covered face with his hands, as did the others sitting at the loser bench. "UGH!" said Sierra. "His breath smells like—"
"ACE! HIS BREATH SMELLS LIKE ACE!" said Cody, scooting away from Owen in horror (and then scooting back when he ran into Sierra).
Chris was staring from one contestant to another, his expression growing more suspicious by the second. Alejandro swallowed quietly and tried to look innocent. Blaineley glared daggers at Heather. Owen put his head on the table and began to moan.
Suddenly, Chris' phone rang again. He let out a frustrated growl as he answered it, walking off to the side. "Listen, man—"
"Heather," Alejandro said, trying to sound as soothing as possible given the situation, "I certainly see why you are suspicious of Blaineley," he motioned to her food, earning himself a diva-glare, "but I don't know where these crazy accusations against me are coming from! My hair tie simply keeps falling—probably due to the, uh, humidity, and—"
"Now that I think of it," Cody said slowly, eyeing his cowering friend, "I saw Owen bend down when Alejandro did. I thought he was just trying to help find his hair-thing, but—"
"THAT WAS WHAT I WAS DOING I WOULDN'T CHEAT I MEAN I GUESS I SORT OF CHEATED LAST YEAR BUT THAT WAS DIFFERENT I WOULDN'T DO IT AGAIN OKAY I CONFESS AL MADE ME DO IT I'M SORRY WAAAH!"
He began to sob. Alejandro face-palmed as Heather's fury mounted. "You got Owen to help you?! He was MY minion!"
"'Minion?'" Cody muttered, looking at them even as he rubbed Owen's large back.
"Nuh-uh! I had him first!"
"Well, we'll see about that!" Heather stormed over to the host. "Chris, what are you going to do about all this crazy cheating?!"
"Yeah, okay, but that's your job, not mine!" Chris was yelling into the phone. "I kicked him off the plane, like, three times and five stops ago! What am I supposed to do?"
"GET OFF THE PHONE AND HOST THE FLIPPING SHOW!" Heather screamed, just as Chris hung up, looking ticked. "Alejandro is slipping his food back to Owen, and someone is giving Blaineley actual food instead of grossosity!"
"It is a lie!"
"Get over it!"
"Forgive me, Santa!"
A moment passed before Chef finally spoke. "I'm so ashamed."
"Listen, we gotta wrap this up," Chris said, still looking annoyed from his phone conversation. "So, here's the dealio: one last round. Whoever wins, has invincibility in tonight's vote, and can take the person of their choice up to first class with them."
Sierra jumped to her feet. "I PICK CODY!"
Cody stared at her. "We've both been disqualified, remember?"
"Oh." She slumped back into her seat, then hugged him tightly. "Oh well! Anywhere's First Class as long as I'm with you, my cute little carry-on!"
Courtney looked on in sympathy as Cody gasped in pain.
"At least switch Blaineley's bowl to prove she's not cheating," Heather demanded. "And move Owen away from Alejandro!"
"Fine," Chris said, and he gave Blaineley a grin that was even more sadistic than usual. "Blaineley, trade bowls with Courtney. Owen, put this on to prove you can keep your mouth shut. Let's get this done."
Blaineley simply looked on in horror as Courtney switched their bowls, smirking. Owen was still crying as he put on an oversized dragon mask that made it impossible to eat. Chris was once again dressed in his ridiculous Chinese outfit, and the music started again.
"Man-man-chi, man...man...chi..." Alejandro and Blaineley both moaned, looking down at their "food" with revulsion.
"They love to eat on the Yangtzeeeee!" Chris sang, despite the fact that nobody in all history could have ever "loved" the dish before them. "Man-man-chi, man-man...huh?"
Alejandro and Blaineley couldn't even take a bite—they both turned to the side and began to vomit, as Courtney quickly grabbed her bowl and shoveled it down as quickly as she could.
"MMM! Delicious, Chef!" she sneered, with a vicious look at Blaineley. Then, "OW! BRAIN-FREEZE!"
"And Courtney's the winner! Now let's get back to the plane," Chris said, his bad mood returning as he looked from Blaineley to Alejandro to Owen. "I want to see who gets voted off for tonight's stunts."
Chef gulped loudly.
"Oh, don't worry—you're in the dog house no matter what," Chris said, turning on his heel and storming away.
Alejandro kept opening and closing his mouth on the way back to the plane; he seemed determined to say something to exonerate himself but, for possibly the first time in his life, couldn't think of anything persuasive. Owen was still whimpering; Cody put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but when Alejandro turned and tried to say something, the shorter boy gave him a hard look. Blaineley was just glaring at everybody, while Heather switched between glares at Owen and triumphant smirks at Alejandro.
All that time he had spent playing the goody-goody, trying to lure them into a false sense of security—if he hadn't destroyed that reputation, he had at least damaged it severely.
And as a result, there was a target on his back.
This was bad, Alejandro thought. Very, very bad.
"You know, our alliance needs a name," Sierra said, once said alliance was gathered in the otherwise empty dining area. "I know! How about Team Siody?"
"What does that...that's our shipping name, isn't it?"
"No. Well, maybe—I think the Internet is going to settle on 'Coderra,' but—"
Courtney snapped her fingers impatiently. "Um, can we focus, please? So, we have three candidates for the chopping block: Blaineley, Alejandro or Owen."
Cody looked uncomfortable. "Can we not pick Owen? He's my friend. And, well...he obviously feels bad about what he did."
"I'M A MONSTER!" came his muffled scream from another part of the plane.
"Besides, he's probably the least dangerous," Sierra added. "He didn't even do it to help himself in the race."
"I agree," Courtney said. "So then it comes down to Blaineley or Alejandro."
"Al's been pretty cool up until this," Cody said. "I mean, he still cheated, but if we had to choose..."
"I'd vote them both off, if I could," Courtney grumbled. "But the fact that Blaineley cheated with Chef makes me really nervous. It's one thing to manipulate other players, but if she can manipulate the people who actually run the game, there's no telling how much she could screw things up for everybody else. All in favor of voting her off?"
Three hands rose into the air.
"You're voting for Blaineley, right?" Alejandro hissed, once he and Owen were alone in the corridor.
Owen shifted his weight nervously. "Well, I—maybe..."
"You have to! Otherwise, it will be either you or me getting eliminated, and you don't want that, do you?"
"I—I don't know!"
"What do you mean, you don't know?!"
"Leave me alone!"
He suddenly ran off, crying. Alejandro was so stunned that all he could do was watch him go. Then he threw his hands in the air and growled in frustration.
Blaineley rounded the corner, still muttering under her breath. He immediately came up to her, so close that she backed away. "Who are you voting for?" he demanded, without any of his usual pretext.
She scoffed. "Who do you think? Your little girlfriend who threw a wrench in my brilliant strategy."
"No!" he snapped, actually surprised by how stupid she was being. "That would be a vote wasted, because nobody else is going to vote for her! You need to vote for Owen!"
"Or you."
"Listen, you little—!" Alejandro froze, took a deep breath, and then, trying to remain calm, said "Who do you expect to be more valuable in the game, hmm? Tell you what: vote for Owen this round, and I promise to support anyone you want in the next. Excluding myself, of course," he added quickly.
Blaineley considered for a moment. "Alright, hotshot," she said, strolling past him. "Or should I say...'alliance buddy?'"
She went into Loser Class. Alejandro sighed, leaning against the wall.
He didn't care whether Owen or Blaineley went at this point, and he sure wasn't planning to keep any promises to either of them. They were both insufferable. All he cared about was making sure that there were as few votes for him as possible.
He wasn't even sure if he should try to talk to Heather; that honestly might just antagonize her further. And then there were the other three, and their little alliance...he had to track them down, either individually or together, and try to convince them that—"
"Attention, contestants!" Chris' voice called from the intercom. "Please report to the drop zone so that we can hurry up and throw one of y'all out of the plane."
Alejandro groaned.
Owen groaned too, holding his head in his hands.
He was standing just outside of the now-empty dining hall, and one of the interns (Nelson) was loading a cart with food. He looked up as Owen slumped down and sat against the wall.
"Um...you okay, kid?"
"No!" Owen whined. "Al wants me to vote off Blaineley, which sounds okay because I don't really like her that much, but I don't know if that's what Heather wants me to do, and they both say that I'm supposed to listen to them but I think that Duncan said that Noah said not to listen to either of them and I feel really guilty for helping Al cheat and now I don't know WHO THE HECK I'M SUPPOSED TO VOTE FOR ANYWAY?!"
Nelson blinke. "Um...I'm not really supposed to give you contestants any advice for the game," he said awkwardly.
Owen made a sound like a puppy in pain.
"Hey...here, have a fortune cookie," Nelson said as he took one from the cart. "It's supposed to be for the First Class passengers, but maybe some food will help cheer you up?"
"Thanks." It was a testament to Owen's misery that the acquisition of food didn't make him sound any more cheerful.
Nelson wheeled the cart away, and Owen took a moment before finding the energy to actually break the cookie open. He had to read the fortune twice before its message penetrated his mopey mind, at which point he sat up, read it a third time and dedicated all of his brain power to its wisdom.
"You're right, Mr. Cookie. YOU'RE RIGHT!"
With that he got up, popped the cookie in his mouth and ran for the confessional, letting the slip of paper fall to the ground behind him.
Heather took a long time to pick her vote, given all of the deserving candidates.
Chris hates Blaineley, so I can probably trust him to keep an eye on her after today...so it's down to evil Alejandro or that traitor Owen.
Alejandro or Owen...
Courtney was knocking on the door. "Hurry up in there!"
Heather glared at the door, turned back to the passports, and stamped Owen.
Alejandro's name was mud now. Owen would be easily forgiven after a day or two. Better to get rid of him now while everyone was still mad and deprive Alejandro of any useful allies from now on.
It was the best strategy. And that was the only reason that she was doing it.
Owen took a deep breath, then slammed his stamp against Alejandro's passport.
Chris shifted through the votes. "Blaineley, Owen, Blaineley, Owen, Blaineley, Alejandro...and the final vote goes to...Owen! It's a tie!"
Owen made a small noise as Blaineley sighed. "So, what's our tie-breaker?" she asked, trying to look more confident than she felt.
Chris' cell phone rang again; he took it out, made a face and threw it over his shoulder. "As much as I'd normally love to force you to eat the virgin eggs that we specially sought out for this occasion, I'm in a bad mood and we had to do a double elimination one of these days anyway. So, I was thinking...why don't you both take off?" Chris said, bending down to grab two parachutes.
"What?!" Blaineley cried as Owen groaned.
"Yeah. Bub-bye."
Owen looked back at the other contestants, including Alejandro, who was looking pointedly away. His eyes hardened, and then he turned and grabbed the parachute out of Chris' hand, walking toward the hatch. Blaineley followed, but turned around at the last moment.
"Not so fast! I have some things to say first! Ezekiel? He's still hiding in the hold!" Chris' eyebrows suddenly perked up with interest. "Sierra? Cody does not like you. At all! Get a clue!" Cody winced, looked over at Sierra, who blanched. "Heather and Alejandro? Just give it up and make out already!"
"Can you get her out of here?"
"I dunno," Chris grinned. "This part's kinda fun."
"Oh, you wanna hear something really fun? They wanted me to host the show! You only got the job 'cause I said no, and—"
Chris suddenly leapt from his podium, pushing into Owen with all his might—Owen slammed into Blaineley, and they both fell through the hatch, screaming.
"AAAGGGHHH!"
"HEY, I WANTED TO SAY SOME STUFF TOO!"
"F!#K YOU, BLAINELEY! ALL OF YOUR SHOWS SUCK, AND YOU WERE THE WORST LAY I EVER HAD!" Chris screamed, then slammed the hatch shut and crossed his arms, trembling with fury.
A long silence reigned before Cody spoke.
"...Is it really quiet in here all of a sudden, or is it just me? Heh-heh."
The others glared at him, and he immediately made himself as small as possible.
Chris waved his hand at them. "Okay, show's over, people! Everyone get out!"
"Um, Chris?"
"What is it, Blaineley-lover?!"
"The reward thing...?"
Chris sighed, rolling his eyes like a petulant teenager. "Right. Courtney, who do you want to take into First Class with you?"
"Oh! Um—"
She quickly looked over the other contestants—Alejandro and Heather were pointedly looking away from each other, while Sierra had already gotten up to walk away, holding a struggling Cody in her arms.
"Cody," she said with barely a moment's thought.
"WHAT?!"
Sierra was so shocked that she let her prey go, and Cody jumped back, looking up with surprise and delight in his eyes. "Huh? Really?!"
"Uh, yeah. Sure."
"But—but—"
"Okay then!" said Chris, who seemed somewhat cheered by Sierra's horrified reaction. "Enjoy your trip! The rest of you, have fun together in Loser Class."
"But—"
Chef pushed her out of the room along with Heather and Alejandro.
Cody stood there shocked for a moment, realized that Sierra was really gone, and suddenly hugged Courtney, with stiffened with surprise.
"Thank you."
Courtney: I don't really know if this was the best strategy—I definitely don't need to antagonize Sierra. But I don't want to spend the next twenty-four hours living with Heather or Alejandro, after what he just pulled, and...come on. Cody could use a break, right?
Cody: (hands clasped as though praying) Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!
Sierra: NOOOOOOOOOO!
A feeling of relief slowly spread through Alejandro as he made his way back to Coach.
Honestly this couldn't have been better, he thought. Both Blaineley and Owen, the most annoying idiota he had ever encountered, were gone now. He had been unsure about voting for that moron over her, but it had all worked out better than expected. Now he could—
"So, lose your last allies, Al?"
Alejandro winced, turning to see Heather grinning like a Cheshire cat behind him. He glowered. "I can make some more."
"I'm not so sure. After today's stunt, rebuilding your 'nice guy' act is going to be tricky."
He tried to smirk, but it came out looking more like a grimace. "You should know better than anyone that people are fickle. It's not as if you have a sterling record yourself."
Heather's smile didn't falter, which disturbed Alejandro more than anything. "We'll see."
"Have I told you how much I appreciate you bringing me up here with you?"
"Only a couple dozen times. No offense, but it's starting to get a little annoying."
Cody let himself melt into the plush First Class seat. "I was kind of surprised, actually. Happy, but surprised."
Courtney shrugged. "I don't know why. Who else would I invite?"
"I dunno. Maybe Sierra? Try to stay on her good side?"
"By making her leave your side?"
"Good point."
"I mean, I guess I could have used it to kiss up to Alejandro—even if he is a no-good cheater," Courtney added, and though she sounded bitter at first, she actually looked a bit torn after a moment. Then she shook her head. "But I'll deal with strategy tomorrow. You're the only one on this plane that I actually want to spend time with."
Courtney immediately felt weird about saying that, somehow, and indeed Cody got a strange look on his face that he couldn't quite explain himself. Fortunately the sudden awkwardness was interrupted as Nelson wheeled a cart of food into the compartment.
"Your reward for winning today's challenge—an authentic Chinese delicacy."
Courtney eyed the cart warily, while Cody grinned. "You mean actual food this time, right?"
Nelson uncovered the tray, revealing a large collection of fried chicken. Both teens blinked. "Yeah, I don't know. Apparently this is considered a high-class meal down there. Plus fortune cookies," he added, motioning to a bowl. "Which we had to bring from Canada, because apparently they aren't authentic. Enjoy."
He left. Cody grabbed a plate and began to pile his chicken on. "I'm starved!" he said, suddenly realizing that he hadn't eaten since breakfast.
Courtney gave the food another skeptical look. "I'm not sure I want to eat anything after I downed all those meal worms."
Cody chuckled. "Well, have a fortune cookie, at least?"
"I guess."
She cracked her cookie open, then laid it down to read the message inside. "'Act like a friend and you will find many close companions.'"
A slow smile curled across Cody's face. "In bed."
Courtney, who had started eating her cookie, nearly spit it out in surprise. Cody broke out laughing at her scandalized look. "What, haven't you ever heard that? You can add 'in bed' to the end of just about any fortune cookie message and it works. For example..."
He cracked a cookie of his own. "'What you once sought is now right under your nose.' In bed?" He frowned. "Well, that kind of works."
"I think you're just a perv."
"Just a perv?" Cody said, in mock horror.
Courtney couldn't help but snorting out the other half of her cookie.
"You have to let into First Class! You have to!"
"Let—go!" Willy said, pulling himself away from Sierra. "Look, I told you—only the winner and one guest are allowed back there! And don't try to sneak in, either!"
He stomped off, leaving Sierra to cry loudly and sink onto the ground. She wiped the tears from her face, and in the process, a piece of trash from the floor that was stuck to her hand wound up plastered to her face instead. She peeled it off and threw it angrily to the ground.
What Sierra didn't notice was that it was the slip from a fortune cookie—specifically, the one that Owen had eaten about an hour before.
Nor did she notice its message: Do not waste your affections on one who doesn't return them.
"Can you believe that she said that?! Can you?!"
"No, Mr. McLean," Billy said in a monotone, trying to imagine himself literally anywhere else on the planet.
"Do the show without me? Without me?! I am so glad she's gone now! I hope she lands in a landmine or something, that would be..."
He trailed off and stopped pacing, rubbing his chin. "Still, at least she helped me solve this problem with the producers. And you know...maybe we can have a little fun with this, too."
Now Billy was confused, but Chris quickly solved that problem (and created a worse one) by snapping his fingers. "Guy, get Redshirt and the Other One and head down to the cargo hold. I want you to find Zeke and put him with the rest of the animals."
"The—wait, what?"
He shrugged. "I just figure, maybe we don't need Sasquatchinakwa for this next challenge. You know what they say, man is the deadliest prey of all! And Ezekiel's pretty close, amirite?"
"But...sir, if the producers are complaining about his disappearance, shouldn't you—"
"Buh-buh-buh! I don't pay you to backtalk me. Or at all, for that matter." He chuckled. "Now, get cracking, Guy."
The intern stared at him for a moment, grumbled "Billy" and slouched out of the cabin.
Chris sighed, sat down in his chair and took a fortune cookie out of his pocket. "This is good," he said, absentmindedly throwing it from one hand to the other. "Finally got rid of Blaineley, got a better, nastier idea for the competition—maybe my day is finally starting to look up."
He opened the cookie and read his fortune. "'Stray from the path you are on, for it will lead to great misfortune.'" He frowned, then felt his lips curl into a grin. "In bed. HA!"
A/N: For the record, due to some clever marketing, KFC is actually considered a delicacy in China.
I'm going to go back to trying to update once per month, so if there isn't a new chapter by March 8, feel free to start hounding me. Until then, I hope you enjoyed!