Chapter 4: My Final

As the black haze lifted a black and gold-armored figure stepped out, its cloak blackened at its once-crimson edges, a hood pulled over its gold mask. It held Death Penalty in one hand, and Mourner Drake in the other, and flapped black wings with golden armor.

"We are Nightbringer." It said, in a union of Vincent, Abbadon, and Chaos's respective voices that sounded like all three yet none of them at the same time. Its head slowly swiveled to Zack.

"Leave, Lifestreamer. It is time to destroy this place forever." It launched upward with a flap of its wings, and aimed both pistols at Nibelheim. Nightbringer fired. The beams struck the earth, igniting a fireball of destruction only a demon could wreak. Zack suddenly disappeared, back to his ethereal home.

& & &

Hojo looked up, and cried out.

"What happened to the Lifestream?" he cried, his Weiss features fading back to his original ugly features. Nightbringer flew into his view, and he screamed in fury.

"Damn you, Vincent Valentine!!!" Nightbringer didn't speak.

"Let's hope someone will mourn your death penalty." Nightbringer said, then pulled off his mask. Hojo's face went blank with terror. "You are guilty of wishing ill to the planet, wishing ill to the Lifestream, and wishing ill to life which it bears. You are guilty." Hojo's body suddenly became stone, then shattered into dust and blew away in the burning winds.

"Death is not severe enough. You shall be trapped now within your stone prison, bound for an eternity, then a million more, until naught but the stars remain. Enjoy your endless Night." Nightbringer declared, then replaced its mask. Then Chaos burst from Nightbringer's chest, right before Abbadon. The Nightbringer faded back to Vincent Valentine, who fainted. Chaos caught the gorgon, and landed upon the mountains standing above the burning Nibelheim. Abbadon landed nearby.

"I'm sorry, my brother, the human needed the lesson. I orchestrated the entire event."

"Then your machinations are for naught, Abbadon, he is dead." Chaos said. "You know the oath we swore before we arrived here." Chaos and Abbadon had once been great spacefarers, dispensing justice on the more chaotic races, until they had finally landed here.

"He is dead?!" Abbadon asked, suddenly enraged. "I-No!! He is too strong to die! He has a child he still has yet to father! I don't believe it! He managed to dampen my soul long enough to regain mastery!"

"You know what you must do, Ezekyle." Abbadon lowered his head. The armor exploded, revealing a soul of red energy. The soul stood, burning, passing some of its flame to the dead Vincent, before it burned itself out. Chaos suddenly imploded into darkness, teleporting back into the planet to sleep once more, and teleporting Vincent away as well.

& & &

Lucreicia heard something crash in her bed room, and raced into it. She flung open the door to behold Vincent in her bed, in only jeans. She stepped closer, then got onto her knees on the bed, coming closer.

"Lucreicia…" he muttered, not opening his eyes. "I never blamed you." He finally opened his eyes. "Not ever."

"What…?" she started.

"I love you." He blurted. He reached or her with is gauntlet hand. As it was about to touch her, the bronze armor disappeared inside his skin, until the entire thing was merely a wide band of leather-edged metal around his forearm. He touched her cheek, then stroked it with his new flesh fingers. Then he stopped.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I can't…remember…Hojo. At all." He said, then looked up into her eyes, and smiled. Not a smirk-like smile, but a full wide smile, and he jumped forward, putting his arms around Lucreicia's shoulders, startling Lucreicia into a scream, before she started laughing. He placed kisses on her neck, moving to her cheek, until she turned her head and kissed him. Vincent slowly leaned backward, pulling Lucreicia down with him, moving his hands to her lower back.

& & &

(6 weeks later…)

Vincent opened the door for Lucreicia, now with a swollen belly, placing a kiss on her cheek as she passed. He couldn't resist; he was just so…who would believe he was about to say this word…happy. Sephiroth was standing in the front room, dressed back in his leather long coat, the reforged Masamune sheathed across his back. He broke into a small smile at their arrival, turning to greet them. Genesis was in the corner of the room, playing chess with Cait Sith, and at the moment he was eyeing the board with narrowed eyes.

"You better not be lying, furball."

"Oh, please, everybody knows Rooks can move any direction…right, Vincent?"

"They can only move forward, backwards, and sideways." Genesis suddenly stabbed Cait in the head with Exitus. Cloud entered, and he wasn't wearing the First Tsurugi wasn't strapped to his back.

"Vincent! Hey, I need some help with something…got a second?" Vincent closed the door and shrugged. He followed Cloud into Cloud's onetime office. The swordsman picked up a leather bound book, embossed with Vincent Valentine in gold letters.

"What's this?"

"I rewrote it." Cloud said.

Vincent paused. "I have another story for you, if you want to hear it." Cloud sat down.

"What's his name?"

Vincent paused before answering. "Ezekyle Abbadon."

& & &

This marks the end of the Vincent Valentine we used to know. Again, thanks to City of Dis and General Sephiroth, (yeah, crazy girl, huh?) and to Square Enix.

But I couldn't let it die without a little bit of humour. Here's one of my funnier escapades with Vincent…

FF VII Final Fantasy Hell

(Vincent has a Dracula accent for the entire script.)

Setup:

You are now entering another dimension. One of sight and sound but also of morbid clown-like vampire/shapeshifters named after the holiday they were born on. At the next road sign ahead…WTF? 'Warning: Hitchhikers may shoot you'? Why does this always happen to me when I do the Twilight Zone-esque opening setup?

Cloud: Oh, god, the guy that writes this shit has too much time on his hands.

Tifa: I know, and what's up with the title?

(Vincent's disembodied cloak flies in and transforms back to normal self with a flourish of his cape. Er, cloak.)

Vincent: Velcome to my Humble Final Fantasy Hell one-shot.

Cloud: Vhat zhe fuck was zat? (Tifa slaps him.) Ow! What was that for?

Tifa: you were talking like him!

Cloud: Oh. Thanks.

Tifa: (eyeing Vincent's cloak.) Don't you ever sweat in that thing?

Cloud: wait a minute. Are you on Vampire crack?

Vincent: (in normal voice. Pause.) Did you not read the title?

Cloud: (reads title.) Oh. I guess you are.

Tifa: Vincent, I'm sorry, but your accent really sounds fake.

Vincent: (pissed.) vhat?! (Raises Death Penalty. Tifa's eyebrows go up with a 'boing.')

Cloud: WTF? 'Boing'? Can't you come up with something original?

Author: Vincent, Cloud just insulted your accent under his voice. Shoot low, boy, he's riding a little heavy.

(Vincent fires Death Penalty just under Cloud's sunlight-less area. Cloud jumps with a scream and then lands, nigh paralyzed.)

Cloud: alright, alright, I'm sorry for saying anything about the boing, (just as Vincent's about to fire off another shot. Quickly.) AndVincent'sAcccent, but, I just gotta say, 'Boing?'

Author: Did I say low? I meant high.

Cloud: (quickly.) NO! (Vincent stops.) (To Tifa.) How are we gonna snap him out of this?

Tifa: I got just the thing. (Puts two fingers in her mouth and whistles. A morbid, red cloak-wearing hot girl appears. Vincent isn't affected.)

Tifa: (extra long wait to see if Vincent will go after the girl.) Okay, now what? (Vincent's dream chick disappears.)

Cloud: You really got to teach me that trick. I could have some real fun with Barret.

Tifa: Oh, hell, that's easy to do, just call up that chick with the machine gun leg from 'Grindhouse.'

Cloud: (Nodding knowingly.) Yep.

(Pause.)

Tifa: Wait, I got it! (Pulls out her cell phone. Dials a number, and whispers into the phone, then holds it out like a cross.)

Yuffie: (Like a seductress.) Hello, Vinnie.

(Vincent screams and begins to run away.)

Cloud: (crosses arms.) Nice trick.

Tifa: (blows imaginary smoke from the top of her cell phone and puts it in her pocket.) Thank You.

Cloud: Only one problem.

Tifa: (looks at Cloud.) What?

Cloud: there's no brick wall this time. (Meets Tifa's gaze.)

Tifa: (looks back at Vincent.) Oh shit! (The pair take off after Vincent, Cloud wielding his First Tsurgi, Tifa wielding a frying pan. Vincent turns and sees them, screams, and starts firing at them while running. Rude and Reno, in truck, drive alongside the halfway mark between Tifa and Cloud, and Vincent. Rude and Reno look at the trio, then each other, and shrug.)

Reno: Why are you chasing after Vincent?

Tifa: He's on Vampire crack again!

Reno and Rude: dammit. (Reno drives the truck ahead of Vincent and suddenly swerves in Vincent's way, whom, because he was looking behind him, hits the truck headfirst and Goes unconscious.)

(Cloud and Tifa slow down and stop, winded.)

Cloud: Whew, good thing you idiots showed up.

Reno: (smiling.) our pleasure.

(Rude glares at Reno.)

Reno: What?

Tifa: You just admitted to being an idiot. Dork.

Aerith: (appearing.) cocktails for everybody.

Cloud: What is wrong with you?!

Aerith: (still in happy-go-lucky mood.) Where do I start?

(Cloud's jaw drops and raises eyebrows.)

Reno: (noticing Aerith.) oh, hey, Lifestream chick, you know any good strip clubs?

Aerith: you want a strip club?

Rude and Reno: (fake manly voice.) Oh, yeah.

Aerith: Well too bad!

Reno: you ribbon-wearing weirdo bitch!

Cloud: Shut up, you're gonna wake up Count Yuffie-phobia over here.

Vincent: (waking and Sitting up. C3P-0 voice.) I just had the most peculiar dream.

Cloud: (irritated sigh.) Come on, you're getting some black coffee. (Tifa and Cloud pick him up each holding one arm.)

Vincent: (C3P-0 voice.) Oh, this is such a drag!

Cloud: Shut up. (Knocks Vincent out with the First Tsurgi.) What? That's it? No 'bang?'

Author: Not if you're gonna complain about it, I don't have anyone with a gun handy.

Reno: (Pissed.) I have a Gun!

Author: yeah, and piss-poor aim. I've seen you fight. You suck. (Reno roars and charges with his snap out baton. Cloud knocks him out the First Tsurgi without even looking.)

Author: why'd he charge at you?

Cloud: no idea.

Aerith: Hey? You're just gonna leave me alone here?

Cloud and Tifa: yep!

Aerith: Fine! I'm gonna shove a Bahamut up both of your asses! And then he's gonna blow a fireball up your butt! And then you'll have indigestion for a weak! Assholes! (Getting scared.) Come back here! (Calm.) Hey, where'd that bald guy go?

Strip Club:

Rude: oh yeah, baby! Shake that thing!

Rufus: (god voice.) Rude! (Rude snaps to attention, thinking Rufus is God, since he can't see him.) What are you doing, my child?!

Rude: Nothing.

Rufus: you have broken your vows before god, my son! You must lick Bahamut's ass until it is clean for a year!

Rude: (unbelieving.) What?!

Rufus: you heard me, or you shall never win the lottery again!

Rude: I never do anyway!

Rufus: SILENCE!! The Great and Powerful Shinra has spoken!!!

Rude: (pissing himself.) Okay! Okay! Okay!

(Rufus turns off his voice changer and looks at it.)

Rufus: I love this thing!

The End