"I think this window is big enough for both of us to get out." Emma motioned to a window that was about a foot above her head. "Help me up."
"Whatever you say your highness." Daniel jested.
"Shut up and help me." Emma rolled her eyes and put her foot in Daniel's hands. She grabbed the ledge and pulled herself up into the window frame. She glanced out the window and saw a ledge about ten feet down with the ground about fifteen feet below it. "This will work. Give me your hand."
"Can you pull me up?" Daniel asked.
"Is that a joke?" Emma held her hand out and grabbed Daniel's arm and pulled Daniel up next to her. "I can't believe you even asked."
"You're not as dainty as Ramiro thinks you are." Daniel smirked.
"Yea no duh." Emma rolled her eyes.
"Wow falling right out of the properness of a princess." Daniel said.
"Yea well a proper princess doesn't sneak out against her parent's wishes so do you want to go back or do you want to stop being an idiot?" Emma asked.
"Wow, snarky." Daniel held up his hands.
"Where are you two going?" Daniel and Emma turned to see Will rounding the corner into the little alcove.
"Out." Emma said simply.
"Didn't mom and dad tell you they couldn't go out?" Will asked.
"They did." Emma said slowly.
"And you're going out anyway?" Will clarified.
"Yes." Emma nodded.
"Aren't you afraid you're going to get in trouble?" Will raised his eyebrow.
"Nope." Emma shrugged. "We're not planning on getting caught."
"Mom and Dad are going to be so mad." Will shook his head slowly.
"Seriously Will?" Emma sighed. "If you think telling on me is going to win you any favor with them you're insane. It's just going to make everyone in this family mad at you. All I'm asking for is a little deniability. Just don't tell on us and next time you do something stupid we won't tell on you."
"Really?" Will seemed surprised.
"Yea. That's kind of how this whole sibling thing works." Emma said. "I know I may not have grown up with siblings but I did grow up with this bonehead and our friends so it was kind of the same thing. We look out for one another."
"Well what if mom and dad ask me where you are?" Will asked slowly.
"Tell them the truth. You don't know and I'm with Daniel. I'm not asking you to lie to them, just don't tell them everything." Emma shrugged.
"What if they find out I knew?" Will asked.
"They won't. I'm not going to tell on you. Daniel's not going to tell on you. If you have our backs, we'll have yours." Emma promised.
"Ok." Will nodded. "I didn't see anything."
"Perfect." Emma smiled as she slipped out the window, dropping lightly onto the ledge below. She looked up to see Daniel waiting. "You coming or not princess?"
"You are mean today." Daniel shook his head and followed suit.
"Yea well after being proper and trying to live up to perfect daughter my parents have in their head for so long the snark just kind of comes out." Emma shrugged. "Sorry."
"No." Daniel began to climb down the wall. "Get it out. We wouldn't want you acting like this to your subjects."
"Can we just drop the princess thing for today?" Emma asked as she dropped to the ground. She pulled her hair up into a cap. "From now on I'm not even Emma."
"Ah Eric." Daniel smiled, calling Emma by the name they used whenever she was hiding the fact that she was a girl. "I've missed you."
"Yea well." Emma coughed and hit her chest, lowering her voice. "It's getting harder and harder to pull this off."
"Yea the prettier you get the harder it is to pretend you're a boy." Daniel shrugged.
"Yea." Emma glanced at herself in her dagger. "With this face it might be harder to pass as a boy."
"I could hit you." Daniel offered. "Give you a bruise, make you look like you've been in a fight."
"Are you insane?" Emma looked at him incredulously. "Seriously, what is in your skull?"
"Jeez you sound just like Diana." Daniel crossed his arms.
"If I come back with a bruise on my face how am I going to explain that to my parents?" Emma asked. "They'd kill you. Both of them. And then they'd kill me."
"You have a point." Daniel agreed.
"I'll just glamour." Emma shook her head. "Change my appearance so I look like a boy."
"Since when can you do that?" Daniel looked impressed.
"It's a new ability." Emma shrugged. She took a deep breath and slowly waved her hand over her face. She turned to face Daniel. "How do I look?"
"Like a boy." Daniel nodded. "You are so incredible. I am so jealous."
"Let's go." Emma rolled her eyes. "I can only hold this for a few hours."
They had stolen shirts from Lord Aron's pages so they slipped easily through the fortress gates. They didn't stop walking until they were a few blocks clear of the fortress and safe from recognition. Emma glanced at the city around her. It was teeming with people. All moving quickly to their destinations, few stopping to interact with one another. Beggars stood on the corners, hoping even a small coin would be tossed their way.
"This is almost as bad as the capital in Galraun." Daniel whispered.
"I don't now if I would give it that much credit." Emma said flatly.
"Emma don't let your time in this world cloud your judgment." Daniel warned. "This is horrid but we've seen worse."
"It's just shocking a place like this exists in my father's kingdom." Emma shook her head.
"It is?" Daniel asked. "You forget you've only been here a few weeks. There is much you don't know about this place."
"We place judgments on other lands with far less time and information." Emma argued. She turned out of the square and down an alleyway, trying to escape the crowds of people.
"Well, well, well." A group of men looking no more than 25 years of old appeared out of the doorway. "What do we have here? Two spoiled pages. You must be new at your job, or slow. If you weren't you'd know better than to wander around here dressed like that."
"We don't take too kindly to pampered little boys around here." Another grinned maliciously. "It's not fair that just because your father kisses the Lord's feet, or because your mother allows him to mount her in bed you get to be treated better than the rest of us. What makes you so special."
"I don't think you want to be talking to us like that." Emma glared.
"And why not?" The first one asked. "What are you going to do about it? Run back and tell Lord Aron? He doesn't give two shits about you or any of the rest of us. You know he holds no power here. This is Valish's territory and when you come through here, you better be prepared to pay the toll."
"We're not giving you anything." Daniel wasn't intimated by the encroaching group. "Now step aside and let us pass."
"Not until you give us everything you have." The man warned.
"I don't see that happening." Emma shook her head.
"Why you little shit." The man reached out and slapped Emma across the face before she had time to react. She fell hard against the ground. Taking a deep breath she stood up and faced them again.
"I wouldn't do that again." Daniel warned.
"Or what?" The man spat. "What are you going to do about it?"
"This." Emma grabbed the man's hand and knocked his feet out so he hit the ground hard. She drew her dagger out and held it to his neck. "If you so much as breathe the wrong way I'll slit it your throat."
Daniel held is own sword out threateningly. "I'd listen to her if I were you."
"Now." Emma shifted her weight so her knee was in the man's stomach and looked up at the rest of the group. "You're going to walk away and forget you ever saw us. And you're going to give us your shirts so we don't run in to this little problem again and none of your other friends end up dead." The men didn't move. "Now." Emma raised her voice. The men quickly moved to action. She glanced down at the man beneath her. "I want your shirt."
"Take it." He scrambled up as soon as Emma let him. He pulled of his shirt and threw it at her. "Just get the hell away from us."
"With pleasure." Emma grinned as she discarded the squire shirt and pulled on the filthy white tunic. She looked at Daniel. "Are you ready?"
"I am now." Daniel picked up the money pouch and tossed it to Emma. "I think the citizens they stole this from might appreciate it back."
"I think your right." Emma grinned. "This can be put to much better use than whores and ale."
The two made it to the end of the alley before they burst out laughing. "That was just like old times."
"It felt good." Emma agreed. "I haven't done something like that since…"
"Two days ago?" Daniel asked.
"Technically we killed them." Emma pointed out. "We just scared those idiots."
"They next time they see you they'll cower in fear." Daniel agreed.
"The next time they see me I'll be a girl." Emma pointed out. "Now lets give this money to people who can use it."
The two wandered the filthy streets of Drell, handing out the money here and there, trying to stay unnoticed by the masses. The deeper into the city they moved the dirtier it seemed to get. Remnants of riots remained in some areas, overturned carts and broken crates were picked over by beggars before soldiers chased them off. Game roamed free in some areas. The farther from the fortress they got, the worse the condition of the city became.
"We're going to need to bathe before we see my parents." Emma shook her head in disgust. "They'll smell the city on us. Plus we're covered in dirt."
"It'll wash off. Except for that." Daniel turned Emma's head to see her cheek. "That's going to bruise."
"Great?" Emma sighed. "Looks like your plan to blacken me up panned out. They're going to be so mad."
"Tell them you tripped." Daniel shrugged.
"They won't believe that." Emma shook her head.
"Tell them I beat you in a fight." Daniel suggested.
"That's even less believable." Emma teased. "Besides they'd have your head if they thought you touched me." Emma stopped as they rounded the corner, gasping. "Speaking of heads."
"What?" Daniel asked.
"Look." Emma quietly directed him to the wall over the square. At the top, just below the walkway, there sat a row of pikes, almost every one with a head mounted on it. "That's horrific."
"Em you've seen stuff like this before." Daniel reminded her.
"Yes but it was different." Emma shook her head. "We do not display our murder in Altair. It is not something we are proud of. And the societies we've been in that do this are barbaric, not societies that I am a member of, that my parents rule over."
"Ah boys." A nearby shopkeeper noticed Emma and Daniel focusing on the wall. "Looking at the spikes. Does it scare you?"
"No." Emma shook her head. "The savagery of it disgusts me."
"Em." Daniel hissed.
"You better watch your mouth around here boy." The shopkeeper warned. "If the guards catch wind of that kind of talk you'll be in the stalks before you know it. Just because you're finally realizing why your ma didn't want you wandering around this god forsaken place doesn't mean you can spout of like a righteous prat."
"Why doesn't anyone say something?" Emma asked.
"We do what we need to so we can survive." The shopkeeper said. "So we don't end up like that."
"What did they do to end up like that?" Emma asked slowly.
"Crossed the Lord in some manner or another most likely, or one of his captains." The shopkeeper shrugged. "There's a resistance against him, we're not allowed to speak of it but best you understand before you go and get yourself killed. There are people here, good people, crazy but good intentioned, who want to restore Drell to it's former glory, to the city it used to be before the Lord became corrupt and power hungry. Its leaders heads are up there as a reminder to us all who holds the power. Some of those men have done nothing… the Lord puts there heads up there as a reminder of who holds the power of life and death over all of us."
"That's terrible." Daniel said.
"Why doesn't the king do something?" Emma asked.
"The king?" The shopkeeper laughed. "The king has no power here. Lord Aron runs this as his own kingdom. Even if the king did have any power he wouldn't do a thing. He and Lord Aron are friends. That's why he ignores what happens in this city, as we all die and descend into chaos. No, the king, would rather focus on the rest of his shining kingdom. As far as I am concerned he is no king of mine. He is not as kind and benevolent as everyone else proclaims. No king abandons his subjects."
"Thank you for your time." Daniel nodded. "We had better be going."
"Aye." The shopkeeper nodded. "And keep your mouths shut before you get yourselves killed."
"Em." Daniel said as they walked away. "I'm sure they have no idea that this is going on out here."
"I know." Emma said slowly, her eyes not leaving the heads. "That's what scares me."
"What?" Daniel seemed confused.
"It means my fathers dear friend Lord Aron has betrayed him." Emma said. "He's a corrupt sadist who wishes to live by his own rules. If he'll kill people and put there heads on spikes just because he can, just because they dare to stand against him, what will become of us if we say something."
"Your father would never let anyone hurt us." Daniel promised. "Besides we can hold our own."
"I know we're skilled Daniel but his forces far outmatch our own." Emma shook her head. "If it comes down to war, we may escape with our lives, but not everyone will."
Daniel fell silent. "We could use magic?"
"Daniel we've never used magic to end lives." Emma gasped at the idea.
"No." Daniel admitted. "But we've used it to save lives, and that's what we'd be doing."
"You know as well as I do that using magic to take a life blackens the soul in a way you cannot return from." Emma shook her head. "I won't do it. I won't give in to it."
"Your magic is far too pure to be darkened." Daniel pointed out.
"Which is exactly why it won't allow me to kill." Emma looked at Daniel. "It is part of what drives my conscience Daniel. Love does not take life, it gives it. That is why I cannot use my magic to kill, only my skills."
"We should get back to the fortress before someone notices we're gone and Lord Aron wonders if we've discovered his secret." Daniel suggested.
"Good point." Emma agreed. They quickly wove their way through the streets back to the fortress. Forgetting they were no longer dressed like pages and were utterly covered in filth Emma and Daniel walked right up to the gates before being blocked by guards.
"Off with you." A guard warned. "No begging"
"We're not beggars." Emma shook her head. "We're staying here."
"Why would Lord Aron let a couple of street rats like yourselves stay in his nice home?" The other guard sneered.
"Em we're not dressed in our pages uniforms." Daniel realized.
"We're pages of the Lord." Emma said quickly. "We lost our tunics in a fight with some low lives. It was a careless mistake."
"Do you want a smack on your ear to help you with your hearing?" The first guard asked. "Get out of here."
Emma sighed, realizing a pretending to be a page would get them no further and only leave them stranded outside the fortress walls which was not a place she wanted to be. She removed her cap and let her long hair fall. "I want to see my father"
"I want to fuck the queen for all the good it does me." A guard laughed.
Emma's eyes narrowed and her mouth set in a line. "Don't speak about her like that."
"And what do you care for the queen boy?" The guard asked. "What has she ever done for you?"
Emma suddenly realized she still looked like a boy. Waving her hand over her face she reverted back to her normal appearance, shocking the guards. "My mother is the Queen. I am Princess Emma, which gives me power over you. And if you lay a hand on me my father will have you both in shackles before you can blink." Emma crossed her arms. "Now are you going to let me by or do I need to smack you on the ear to help with your hearing?"
"You know I had half my guard out searching for you." James sat behind his desk, staring intently at his daughter. The guards had let them inside where they had immediately been taken to her father's temporary office. She was still covered in dirt and dressed in the man's oversized tunic. The only good part of the filth was that it covered her quickly blossoming bruise.
"Only half this time?" Emma said cheekily.
"Emma." Snow warned.
"I'm sorry ok. I just had to get out of here. This place is horrible." Emma glanced out the window. "This city is horrible."
"We know." James tried to keep his patience. "That is why we wanted you to stay in here. We are aware of how terrible it is out there."
"Are you?" Emma asked. "Have you actually been out there? Do you really know what is going on? Because if you do I can't believe you're just sitting here talking while your people are suffering."
"What exactly are you saying Emma?" James asked slowly, his voice low but even.
She glanced around at the other advisors her father had apparently been in a meeting with before she was brought in. She looked back at her father and took a deep breath. "I do not mean to speak out of place but I feel this needs to be said. Everything I've heard is about how great a kingdom Eirian is, about how we are a prosperous and wonderful people. That the leaders are kind and just and provide for the safety and well being of their subjects, all their subjects. People call you a great person, a great king, but how can you call yourself a good king if even a few of your subjects are suffering? The people out beyond those walls? They are suffering greatly because of the leadership you have appointed them. There are beggars on every street corner. There is filth everywhere. The farther you move from the fortress, the worse the condition of the people get. Women are literally selling themselves on the street just so they can eat. Corruption runs wild. In some places the crest of Lord Aron carried no weight. Men who deal in illegal trades have risen to power and taken territories, sending out groups of men to physically intimidate and force others to bend to their will. Even the areas that are controlled by captains cannot be trusted as some of them are corrupt themselves, taking payments for looking the other way. You can sit there and pretend that this isn't happening, but that doesn't change the fact that it is. And don't try to convince me that your dear friend Aron doesn't know about it. I've heard the people of Drell, he's the worst of them all, taking payments from the black market dealers, from the whore house owners, controlling this city with an iron fist and inspiring fear into his people to the point that they are afraid to even say the wrong thing less\t they be thrown in prison."
Emma was shaking, while she was not usually a nervous person she knew what the implications of her words would be. She knew if she stopped now she would be unable to continue. "I understand Lord Aron is your old friend but you can not put a friendship that existed twenty years ago over the needs of your people. You cannot abandon them and turn your head the other way all for a man you would not even be friends with today. People change. Lord Aron has changed. He has done terrible things and your people are suffering because of it. I have seen how he deals with his enemies, those who have the courage to stand up to him and say what he is doing is wrong. Do you know where those men are? Because I do. Their heads are on spikes in one of the town squares, warning all who pass of the price of saying something against their Lord. Some of the heads belong to men who have done nothing. They were simply killed to remind others that Aron can kill at his will. I understand that executions must be carried out when the crime is so egregious there is no other option but celebrating it by mounting the head and forcing all your people to look upon it? Forcing children to look upon it. What kind of message does that send about the kingdom we are, about the king you are that this is allowed to happen. You may not be doing it but you are not stopping it which makes you guilty too."
James was silent. He folded his hands in front of his face and looked up at his daughter. Finally he spoke. "This is how you view me? This is how you feel?"
"I do not view you as a monster if that is what you are asking." Emma said. "But I do feel that you are too scared, too prideful to admit that a friendship that used to be so dear to you has clouded your judgment about what is right. I am not the only one who feels this way." Emma motioned to the men around her. "They all do, they're just too afraid to say no to you because you're their king. I do not mean to be disrespectful but just because you are king doesn't mean you always know what's best. That's why you have advisors, to tell you when you have made a mistake and how to fix it. Because you can fix this. I believe in you. But you have to want to make a change. Look outside at these people who are suffering. They are your people. Don't they deserve something from you?"
"Sometimes you have to sacrifice the few to save the many Emma." James said slowly. "You'll learn some day. Overthrowing this power system would cause a great divide in our kingdom. While the rest of the kingdom would support us, Drell is one of our largest cities. They have power and resources we need. We would have to go to war with ourselves and this is not a time we can afford that. And even then the corruption in Drell runs far deeper than just replacing its leadership. It does no good to sacrifice the needs of the rest of the kingdom to fruitlessly try to save the lost souls of Drell."
"Not everyone in Drell is a lost soul." Emma shook her head. "I've been out there, I've seen them. There are good people who still exist, people who have not been swayed by the evil all around them, and that makes them stronger than most people I know. There are men and women with families, trying to survive in a corrupt system. Who are constantly robbed of what they earn by corrupt individuals. Don't you owe it to them to do something about it? You have that power. You can save them. You can be the king that everyone proclaims you to be.
"What would you have me do Emma?" James asked in exasperation. "It's not that I don't want to save these people. But it is far more complicated than you understand."
"Try!" Emma raised her voice. "Try to do something! Try to do anything! Stop putting your friendship above the needs of your people. I understand Lord Aron was once your dear friend but that was twenty years ago. Sometimes we have to do what is right, even if it means turning on our friends when they are wrong. It does not mean we love them any less, only that we have the will and the responsibility to do what is our duty, to do what is right. Try to do what is right for you people. At the very least they deserve that. Your people need you. You're the great and just king, the protector of this land, start acting like it." Emma turned and departed the room, unable to continue on any longer. She left the entire room in silence, watching her leave, stunned by the courage and honesty it took for someone so young to speak so wisely.
"There you are." Snow gave a small smile as she walked into Emma's room. "I've been looking for you."
"Where else would I be?" Emma shrugged. "There's not a lot of places to hide in this place and you've posted Daven outside my door so I don't go anywhere."
"Daven is not there to keep you in." Snow said as she sat down on her daughter's bed. "He is there to keep others out."
"What?" Emma looked confused.
"Your little outburst had a lot of implications Emma." Snow said slowly. "Should the wrong person have heard it… well what you said could have put yourself and all of us in great danger."
Emma shook her head and looked at the bedspread. "If Lord Aron finds out… How could I have been so stupid? I apologize."
"No." Snow said. "Don't apologize for what you said. I think it took a lot of courage to speak such harsh, but honest truths to your father. It needed to be said and honestly I don't think it could have had a greater impact on him coming from anyone else."
"He's not angry at me?" Emma asked.
"I wouldn't classify his mood as pleased." Snow said slowly. "That being said he agrees with what you said, as do his advisors. You have convicted him. He cannot stand by any longer and allow things to continue on as they are in Drell. However the situation is… complicated."
"Aron is his friend." Emma said.
"That is part of it." Snow admitted. "But it is far more complex than just that. There are a lot of factors to consider. You can't just see something is wrong and change it. We have to be careful about the way we do this. We will upset the balance of power, along with many individuals who are loyal to Aron."
"His forces are larger than ours." Emma nodded. "If we turn on him he far outmatches us. There's no way we all would make it out alive."
"Exactly." Snow said grimly.
"And bringing in outside support isn't a good option either." Emma continued, every scenario running through her brain. "What kind of message would that send to the other kingdoms, that we cannot even control our own people, that we are declaring war on our own. It doesn't exactly give off image of a strong and united people, which is one we need. And it does not inspire faith in the people of Eirian for their leadership. We could always trust Aron would come quietly but that does not seem like a possibility."
"You are beginning to see our dilemma." Snow nodded. "But it is not something you need to concern yourself with."
"Why not?" Emma asked. "Aren't I supposed to take the throne some day? Should that happen isn't this something I need to learn how to deal with?"
"This is a bit bigger than a learning opportunity." Snow said carefully. "I know you are capable of protecting yourself in many situations Emma but we are the brink of a very violent and disastrous conflict if this is not handled just right. It just isn't something your father and I are willing to risk involving you in. But you needn't worry. Your father and his advisors are in their now figuring out a way to fix this."
"His advisors." Emma shook her head. "They probably all hate me for what I said. I came of as insolent and disrespectful, and I dragged them into it as well."
"You did drag them into it." Snow agreed. "But they needed to be involved. You reminded them of what their job as advisors is. Today they got to see the type of leader you will be. They got to experience what it will be like to follow you. Emma you acted very nobly today, you put at risk your personal relationship for the good of your people, just as a queen would."
"I'm not sure that's how they saw it." Emma said.
"It's how I saw it." Snow offered. "And how your father saw it. And that's all that really matters."
"I suppose you are right." Emma agreed. She pulled her blonde hair back, forgetting about the purple bruise on her face.
Snow gasped and gently turned Emma's face towards her. "What is that?"
"Oh." Emma dropped her hair, cursing herself for forgetting about it. "That… I… well Daniel and I sort of got… jumped by some thugs working for some guy named Valish."
"Are you all right?" Snow looked worried.
"I'm fine." Emma waved her mother off. "Seriously I made it out way better than they did. That rag is their shirt actually. Daniel and I stole them so we didn't identify ourselves as easy targets."
"You stole his shirt?" Snow asked slowly.
"I convinced him to give it to me." Emma glanced up at the ceiling.
"And how exactly did you convince a man who was trying to steal your belongings to give you his shirt?" Snow asked.
"I pulled a dagger on him." Emma shrugged. "I've fond people will generally do as you ask when you have a knife to their throat."
"You carry a dagger?" Snow's eyes widened.
"Always." Emma nodded and pulled the dagger out from her boot to show her mother. "Well almost always. Obviously when I'm dressed up it's not something I keep on me. Not a lot of places to hide it."
Snow examined the dagger before handing it back to Emma. "Normally I would argue that it is an entirely dangerous habit but seeing as it benefits you and you clearly know how to use it, it is probably a good thing you keep it on you."
"Yea for some reason people think they can get whatever they want from me just because I'm a girl." Emma laughed. "I like to prove them wrong, and terrify them in the process."
"How much bigger than you was he?" Snow asked.
"At least fifty pounds heavier, taller, and more muscular." Emma said. "But he was no where near as well trained."
"That's my girl." Snow smiled proudly.
"You're not mad?" Emma asked.
"That you disobeyed our orders and put yourself at risk?" Snow raised an eyebrow. "No, that I'm not entirely pleased with. But the fact that you took down someone who was much bigger than you and had multiple friends as back up and came away with only a bruise makes me very proud. Although I do want to kill the man that laid a hand on you."
Emma smiled. "I thought you might have that reaction."
Snow smiled and lovingly stroked her daughter's hand. "I have to return to your father and the others but I wanted to make sure you are all right."
"I'm fine." Emma nodded. "Go do your duty to your people."
"I love you Emma." Snow said as she walked to the door. "And please this time, try not to escape your guard escort. The danger is very much present."
"I won't." Emma promised. She laid back on her bed, pondering just what the implications of her actions would be. Not only on herself, but on her family and her kingdom.
"I thought I might find you up here." James sunk down next to his daughter on the roof of the fortress.
"It's the only place you can have access to the air." Emma said. "To the sky." She glanced up at the stars. "Look at them. They are so beautiful. They're different in every world but their beauty never changes."
"They are truly one of the greatest wonders of our world." James agreed. He looked at Emma. "I wanted to thank you for what you did today. It took a lot of courage for you to stand up to me. But you did, for your people, and for that I am so proud."
"Have you figured out what you are going to do yet?" Emma asked.
"Not yet." James admitted. "It is a complicated and delicate issue that needs to be dealt with very carefully."
"So I've heard." Emma nodded.
The two sat in silence, unsure of what to say to one another in the wake of their most recent interaction. Finally it was Emma who broke the silence. "Are you disappointed?"
"By what?" James looked confused.
"By how things turned out?" Emma clarified "Losing me… losing your chance at raising me into the woman you wanted me to be, by how I turned out?"
"I could never be disappointed by you." James promised his daughter. "I am disappointed by the fact that I did not get to see you grow into the beautiful woman you are today. But nothing about you disappoints me."
"Not even that I am not the person you had planned for me to be?" Emma asked.
"You are more than we could have ever imagined." James looked at his daughter. "You are the sum of all of Snow and I's best qualities.
"Only your best qualities?" Emma raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure I didn't get some of your worst?"
"Oh I'm sure some of our worst are in there somewhere." James laughed.
"Are you saying I have bad qualities?" Emma feigned insult.
"No. Never" James shook his head.
"What do you see in me?" Emma asked.
"What I see in you… that list is endless." James glanced up into the sky. "As endless as the stars in the sky."
"No I mean, what do you see in me… that you see in Snow, that you see in yourself." Emma elaborated.
"Well you have your mothers beauty, that is for certain. You have her eyes, her chin, her nose. You have my hair, well at least the golden color. Your long gorgeous locks come from her. You have my height. You're stunning." James gazed at his daughter in amazement. "You're impulsive, just like your mother and I. You have my penchant for breaking the rules, that's for certain. You don't always do what you are told but you do what you think is right. Just as I used to."
"Just like you?" Emma asked. "You broke rules? What happened? You're so keen on them now."
"I've broken many a rule in my day." James admitted. "I couldn't seem to stay within the boundaries that were set. Still every time I defied King George I did it for what I thought was the greater good."
"But wasn't breaking King George's order to marry Abigail more for you than anyone else?" Emma asked slowly. "I mean, no disrespect intended but if you had married her, an entire war could have been avoided. People wouldn't have died. A kingdom could have been saved."
"But it would have not been this kingdom." James countered. "We would have grown to resent each other. We would have abandoned our true loves. We wouldn't have the amazing children we do today. Neither of us would have been happy."
"But isn't that what being a king is about?" Emma asked. "Giving up the things you want, making decisions that may not be preferable to you or the ones you love. Even making decisions that require sacrifice of the ones you love for the betterment of your people."
"You are right." James nodded. "You sound like a ruler already."
"I am a warrior, not a ruler." Emma corrected. "But I guess they have a lot in common."
"How do you see that?" James asked.
"Great generals, great kings, they share common characteristics." Emma explained. 'Yes a general may not know how to provide for the needs of a kingdom and a king may not be able to lead an army, although he should be, but regardless they are both great leaders, and great leaders know that it is not always about them, but about their sacrifice for the good of those that look to them for leadership. A good general would not sacrifice his men for glory, just as a good king would not sacrifice his people for luxuries. A warrior knows that in a battle it is not about yourself. It is about those you are fighting for, those you are fighting with. You don't always make decisions that are good for you. You make decisions that are good for everyone, even when it hurts you."
"You will make a wise and noble queen one day." James was impressed by his daughter's wisdom and morals.
"Well who knows if I'll end up Queen of Eirian." Emma shook her head. "If I gave up my throne maybe Will would actually like me."
"How do you figure?" James asked.
"Will hates me because I took my rights to the throne back." Emma said as if it were obvious.
"My darling Emma, there are many reasons why William doesn't like you."
"Well that makes me feel better." Emma said sarcastically.
"I fear your mother and I made some mistakes raising William." James admitted. "Mistakes that may not have been made had you not disappeared."
"Guilt trip much?" Emma asked.
"That's not what I meant." James said quickly "It's just that when you left, we were heart broken. We lost one of the most important things in our lives. We turned our focus to William, our only child left and we spoiled him, gave him all our attention and let him get away with more than we would have ever let you get away with. And in the process he became selfish, spoiled, believing he has a right to anything and everything and can do whatever he pleases. He see's himself as higher than those around him. He doesn't treat people as his equals but as his subjects."
"Well they are his subjects." Emma pointed out.
"Would you treat a commoner as a lesser person just because you have higher status than them?" James asked.
"Of course not." Emma shook her head. "They are still a person. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect."
"William doesn't see life that way." James answered.
"It doesn't make any sense." Emma shook her head. "I mean you and Snow both seem so gracious as leaders. I don't see how he could not learn from that."
"We are, well at least I hope we are. But I fear we did not instill that graciousness in William. Graciousness that may have been there had you been here."
"Pardon me but I don't understand how me being here would have changed who he is." Emma said.
"It might not have." James admitted. "But I think you could have given him a good role model. We may not have let him get away with everything that we did. We set boundaries for you, but not for him. We were scared of driving him away by telling him no or making him angry. So we said yes, always said yes."
"Whose to say I wouldn't have turned out like that had I stayed." Emma pointed out.
"That is true. You may have been just like him but seeing who you are now and remembering who you were then. I have trouble imagine that would have occurred." James said.
"But we are shaped but our circumstances." Emma argued. "Had my circumstances been different who's to say how I would have turned out?"
"Yes but there is also an innate part of us that will always be who we are no matter what we encounter." James countered.
"But if there's a part of us that is always who we are no matter what our circumstances, doesn't that mean Will could have still turned out the way he is now, regardless of what happened." Emma pointed out. "I'm sorry I shouldn't be speaking ill of my brother."
"No it's ok." James shook his head. "He's a temperamental boy. I love him with all my heart but I do wish he had more of your qualities."
"I'm sure that will make him love me all the more." Emma rolled her eyes.
"He is very much like his uncle." James mused.
"What?" Emma was confused.
"My twin brother, James." James saw the look of confusion on Emma's face. "The real James."
"I thought you didn't know your brother." Emma said slowly.
"I didn't." James shook his head. "Not personally at least. But I heard many stories of him. He was very egocentric. He slept around, took people for granted. He believed he was entitled to everything treated those under him as subservient. I'm not sure he even respected his father. I'm not sure he respected anyone at all."
"That's not a very good outlook for Will." Emma mused.
"My hope is that, despite the tendencies that have grown in him, your mother and I can teach him to be better than that, teach him to respect his people and be a gracious and kind leader." James said. "He needs to understand what you just said, that sometimes you have to put the needs of the people before yourself. That is not a concept he yet grasps. But he is still young. He still has time to learn what you so clearly understand. With time, maybe he'll grow to be more like you."
"I'm not sure that you want that." Emma shook her head.
"Why wouldn't I?" James asked. "You are an incredible individual Emma."
"See you're basing that assumption on what little you know of me." Emma couldn't bring herself to look at her father. "There is still so much about me and my life that you don't know, that you don't understand."
"But I want to." James said. "I want to know everything about that."
"I'm not so sure you do." Emma glanced at the ground. "You may not like what you find."
"Emma you are perfect just the way you are." James assured his daughter. "Your mother and I wouldn't want you to be anyone other than who you are."
"So you want Will to change to be the person you want, a less self-centered version of himself. But me, who you don't even really know, you tell me I'm perfect regardless of the things I have done." Emma shook her head. "Do you think that is maybe the reason he is the way he is? You always spoke of me, how great I was, the things I did. I was more or less idolized. Maybe he felt as if he could never measure up, that he would never be good enough. Maybe he stopped trying. Let him be him. Granted you should not allow him to run free and treat others with disrespect but, let him be good enough because of who he is, not as another version of me. I don't even know if I can live up to the version of me you painted in his head. I think I might understand the pressure Will was under as he grew up. I can't live up to the version of me you made up in your head these past ten years. I'm not that girl and I never will be. I have my flaws, my mistakes just as anyone else would."
James nodded slowly, convicted by his daughter for the second time that day. "You are so wise for someone so young. But you need to understand this. You could never disappoint us. We don't expect you to be perfect by the world's standards. We just want you to be you. We want the same thing for Will to, we just want him to understand respect and compassion for all life, not just his own. We don't want to change who Will is, simply his view of the world. And you're right. We may not have communicated that to him in the best way and that might have resulted into pushing him farther away. But we love him, and you, no matter what. That will never change."
"Just talk to him." Emma suggested. "Tell him what you're telling me. I think you'll be surprised by the difference it will make."
James nodded. "You are something else Emma. Unlike anything I've ever encountered." Emma froze, an idea suddenly dawning on her. James noticed Emma's sudden change. "What?"
Emma slowly turned to her father. "I think I might have figured out a way out of this mess."
The basis for my vision of Drell was King's Landing if that helps you vision it, it certainly did for me.