Warning: This chapter is even worse than the previous one, so you know, read at your own risk.
It took Rumple everything he had to not come back to Belle's chambers five minutes after he left. His heart was beating madly fast, it felt hard to think straight and he sat in his laboratory for a long time simply facing the walls and remembering about the things his wife said to him before he left. If she didn't hate him before, then she certainly hated him now, which made him remember that he still had a strand of her hair between his fingers.
The imp made flourish and an empty bottle appear, dropping the strand inside there and picking one from his own hair, letting it enlace with hers before he allowed his magic to work. Rumplestiltskin watched with wide eyes as the strands started to glow purple, proving that what he felt for Belle was more than a simply temporary passion, it was true and it was mutual.
A sob erupted from the back of his throat. He had ruined his True Love's life, overshadowed her light, being cruel and heartless with her and now he regretted it with all of his soul, but it had no coming back. Rumple imagined that she should be still laying in her bed, weeping while the pain rip through her body, knowing that in the end there would be nothing to be happy about.
His greatest wish was to stay by her side, but he was going to respect her will and let her go through this alone, then Rumple would heal her and send her away, so he could make sure that he wasn't going to be the cause of any suffering in her life again. The Dark One grabbed a parchment, wrote a quickly note in it and rolled the paper down, summoning a bird to send it.
Finding it impossible to keep another minute in that lab, just waiting for the inevitable, Rumplestiltskin decided that he should prepare everything, so Belle could leave to her father's castle as soon as possible. He used his magic to transport himself to his mother's room at the secret tower, finding her looking even worse than the last time he had appeared there.
"Hello, my son," Fiona said with a weak smile.
"I came here to make a deal with you."
"A deal?" She inquired arching an eyebrow for him. "You want to make a deal with me?"
As surprising as it sounded for her, it was twice as unexpectable for him, but Fiona was one of his most valuable paws and her magic was blocked, so he knew that she would do anything to gain it back and now, there was something he wanted her to do that might be worth exchanging for her freedom.
"Yes," the imp confirmed. "It's very simple. I'll free you, but you will serve Belle as her maid until she follows with her life, then you can go away to wherever you want."
Fiona blinked, stupefied and confused.
"What do you mean with follow with her life?"
"If she gets married again or if she decides to travel, or whatever she wants," he explained, with a painful sigh. "I'm sending her back to her father."
It was clear in his mother's face that she didn't understand what he was intending to do, and if he was being positive, Rumple could even say that he found traces of concern in her young face.
"Why?"
"The child she was expecting is dead," he confessed.
"Oh, Rumple - "
"Don't," the Dark One, warned, knowing that her words couldn't possibly make him any good. "Do we have a deal or not?"
Her pale lips tightened in a thin line, her brown eyes scanning his face with pity, because she knew that even though he was trying to hide his feelings behind the many walls he created around himself, it was still very clear that it was hurting him. And Fiona knew the pain of losing a child. She was aware that it never truly healed no matter how many time passed.
"We do," she murmured.
"I'll come back to free you," Rumplestiltkin nodded, "once Belle is strong enough to walk again."
He had barely started to lift his hand up to vanish from there when Fiona made a sudden move, approaching the bars as much as the chains that linked her cuffs with the floor, allowed.
"Was it a boy?" His mother asked.
"I don't know, I haven't seen it. Belle expelled me from her chambers just a while ago. I don't even know if the baby is already out."
"Go stay by her side."
Oh, she had no idea of how much he wished he could do so, but his wife strictly said that she didn't want him any near to her, that she didn't even wish him to see their child.
"Belle doesn't want me there," Rumple whispered.
Shaking her head, Fiona seemed to be fighting against tears. There was a strange shine in her eyes that remembered him a lot of the reflection of unshed tears about to fall.
"Of course, she does. She is angry with you right now, but Belle needs someone to hold her hand and give her a shoulder to cry," his mother advised. "Stay with your wife, Rumple, or you might never forgive yourself."
Swallowing, he needed to admit to himself that she right. The Dark One would only be a greatest coward if he didn't take the risk and stood by Belle in this moment. And the grief wasn't only hers, it was his too and he would see his child even if just for once.
Rumple was about to leave, when he glanced back to Fiona and added: "You were wrong. We are True Love, after all."
Between her sobs, Belle felt her body start to ache, she muffled her cries of pain against the pillow, the sheets beneath her getting wet with blood and other fluids. A pressure started to push, bringing the baby down and she allowed the tears to fall free from her eyes as she made the needed efforts to help the child to slip off of her body, all alone in that room, only the echo of her screams as a company.
Then, when she exhaustedly picked a towel and wrapped the tiny baby around it Belle felt like someone was smashing her heart tightly. It didn't move, nor breathed, it was like holding a doll, but a heavier and warmer one. A darling baby girl. Belle brought her close to her chest cradling that perfect small being and just wishing there was life in that body.
"Oh, you are beautiful. So beautiful," she murmured for her daughter, her tears falling to the towel. "Give mama a cry, please? Just a little breath, maybe?"
But there was nothing. Belle felt empty now and the child in her arms was lifeless. Her shoulders were shaking with sobs as she started to mumble a lullaby, running her fingers through her daughter's little arms, spotting her own skin with blood. She was so distracted that she didn't notice when a purple cloud of smoke brought Rumplestiltskin to the chambers.
His breath got caught on his throat when he glanced at her in the bed. Belle was a mess, sweat covering her skin and damping the hair near her face; at some point she should have managed to stand up and took off her dress because now she was only wearing a long-sleeved nightgown, which's lower part was covered by blood. The imp could see the remains of the birth resting in the dirty bedcovers in the space between her legs, but what made him gasp a little was the vision of a fluffy bath towel wrapping some pinkish think in his wife's arms.
"Belle," he almost sobbed. "Oh, sweetheart..."
She quickly glanced at him, but seeming to be bewitched by the dead baby, her eyes turned back at it after just a short instant. The white cord still linked the baby to the mess in the bed and Rumple approached his wife making a scissors appear in his hand right before he picked the cord and let it to cut, but he stopped when the Dark One received a wild, angry glare from Belle.
"It's alright, it won't hurt," he told her in a low tone before finally making the cut and waving his hand to let it all disappear, leaving her in a clean bed with clean clothes and clean skin. "See? Now that mess is gone. Do you allow me to sit by your side?"
Her nod was very slightly and one without his perception could have missed it, but Rumplestiltskin didn't, so he slid to her side, passing an arm around her shoulders and taking a first real look at his child. It was rather small, has its eyes closed and almost no hair on the top of its head.
"You know, your fears were useless," Belle said bitterly. "It's a girl."
"My darling Belle, I'm sorry," he answered, eyes filling with tears and voice sounding weak. The imp conjured a cloth damp with water and gave it to his wife. "Here, clean our wee one."
Taking it from him, Belle slowly ran the cloth through their daughter's face, taking the blood away and leaving her with a cream coloured skin do show to them.
"She is sleeping, you see?" Belle asked, almost delusional. "Such a good baby girl."
His poor beloved wife was letting the madness of the moment take her and he wished that he could do something, anything to fix this. She was right all the way, his fears were stupid and he lost the joy of seeing her truly happy while the baby still lived.
"Are you feeling well?"
"I feel nothing at all," Belle replied.
"Can I hold our daughter?"
Her big blue eyes blinked for what seemed to be the first time ever since he appeared in room and she directed her narrowed gaze to him.
"Why would you want to do this? You never wanted children."
"I was a fool," Rumple immediately said. "I love her too, Belle."
The girl sighed, but he was touched to hear those words coming from him so she decided that he really deserved a second chance and lifted the small bundle to lay it in his unskilled arms.
"Be careful," Belle bounced.
A bittersweet smile spread through Rumplestiltskin's lips when he felt the light weight of his daughter's body in his arms. Such a perfect little thing, lucky enough to not inherit his awful looks.
"The tiniest baby I have ever seen," the imp whispered to his wife. "She would be beautiful like you."
Belle worried at her lip and couldn't help herself but to ask: "How long does it take for them to breath after they are born?"
"They need to breath immediately, don't give yourself any hopes."
"But your magic could awake her, right?" She insisted. "You could make her move and cry and..."
"Belle," Rumple interrupted her, "magic always has a price and reliving the dead is something out of my reach."
It probably was panic that was growing cold inside her chest making it difficult to breath. Belle was waiting for a miracle or a magic solution that could make her child open those little eyelids and test its lungs, but deep down she knew that it wasn't going to happen. But at each passing second it only got more concrete and she felt like she was dying slowly.
"Give her back to me," the girl demanded. "I want to hold my baby."
"Sweetheart, you should rest and let me take her away."
"No," Belle stated, taking the baby from her husband and cradling her gently. "She is mine and you won't do this."
"Belle, please, my love I know that it hurts, but it's time to let her go."
Her lower lip trembled and new tears fell from her eyes, falling directly to the baby's face.
"She doesn't even have a name," Belle murmured.
"Would you like to name her?"
"Colette," she pronounced. "Because my mother will take care of her for me now."
"Aye, they will be together."
Rumplestiltskin finally got to take the baby girl from his wife's arms and she pressed a kiss to her own fingers, laying them on Colette's temple next.
"Mama loves you very much, my darling."
"Yeah," the imp agreed, "and papa loves you too."
Belle curled herself in ball under the bedcovers, still weeping a little, however without strength to do anything but let the tears fall silently from her eyes. Rumple came back after some moments, with a tray on his hands.
"I brought a tea for you," he offered, but she shooked her head, letting him know that this was the last thing she wanted.
"Where is Colette?"
"In the laboratory," the imp explained. "I'll bury her later."
He slipped to the bed at her side, pulling her closer and hugging her from behind, one arm wrapped around her still swollen belly.
"Can you put roses on her grave?" Belle asked.
"Yes, anything you wish."
Then, they slept in each other's arms.
She woke feeling sore in the next day. Everything hurt, but mostly her head and spine, and when she groped the sheets by her side in an attempt to find Rumple's warm body, she found the bed empty an immediately sit up, finding him sat by her desk.
"How are you feeling today?" He asked.
"I would like you to stop asking me this, when you know that I'm clearly not fine?" She returned, harshly moving out of the bed and going to the closet just to find it empty. "Where are my dresses?"
"I packed them," Rumplestiltskin answered.
He should be kidding, she thought, but there was nothing in sight but the gown he made appear in the bed for her. Belle grabbed the first layer and started to put it on.
"Packed?"
"I've sent a letter to your father yesterday," he said. "There is a retinue outside to pick you."
And that was how it ended. She should have seen it coming, but at this point Belle didn't know what to expect from him anymore. Gods, she had just given birth to his child and he was already expelling her from his home, he wouldn't even wait to show her where the baby was buried, he simply didn't want to see her anymore.
Thinking herself to be a fool, Belle kept dressing, fighting against the tears.
"You're sending me back," she concluded aloud. "Sure, why would you want me after all? Now I look like a swollen pig, so you couldn't desire me, my child is dead and I probably never even stand my company."
Rumplestiltskin didn't even know how she could assume that. He loved her so very much and that wouldn't be a day in which he didn't desire her, not even now that she was still very affected by her pregnancy. She was still beautiful to his eyes, but he wasn't going to ruin his plans by telling her this.
"I'm sending a maid with you," the imp said, instead.
"I don't want anything you can possibly give," Belle replied, closing the laces of her maternity bodice, since none of the others would ever fit now.
"I know, but you'll take it anyway, because I've already sent her to your retinue."
"Alright," she shooked her head angrily. "I just... I never thought you would break a deal. We made a vow for each other, one that linked us for the whole eternity."
His eyes fixed on hers but he didn't stand up to reach for her touch like he wished to do.
"Sometimes eternity lasts shorter than expect," Rumple muttered. "It was good to know you, Belle. I'll never forget about what we had."
"Well, I pray for the gods for them to allow me to forget," she answered, her eyes becoming watery again. "The only thing related to you that I want to remember about is my daughter's face. Goodbye Rumplestiltskin."
Turning around, Belle left the room, heading out of the Dark Castle, knowing that she would probably never see that place again.