Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim to own this franchise or any of its characters.
Author Note: The irony of this situation is the fact that I didn't update so I could update a fic I haven't started yet because I needed to update this fic. Also Earthbound God Cigars and Cigarettes: Closer to Death is the best thing all day everything else for all I care can have a
Meltdown
Aki was desperately fighting off the Duel Monster as her former saviour, former hero, former friend did he call himself? Was laughing off into the distance with no rhyme or reason. I have a burning need for revenge and it's getting worse every single time I see her struck. He has no right to do this, to bite the hand that feed him, he's not special, he's not a God, an angel of death as he seems to claim. In my eyes, my eyes that even with glasses this thick can finally see and finally REALLY see, that he isn't worth my time. He isn't some great and elusive evil, some cliché villain that needs repentance in revenge, he's a scared little boy that locked himself away in a tower of blocks surrounded by other scared little boys and girls as he told them stories to make themselves feel better. That's all he is, and I'm bitter about it. I died, I died and I, I, I did horrible things over this man. I must be worthless. I must be completely useless. I really fell for it huh? The biggest scoop yet I thought, I could take him I thought, can't even take a little boy without help can you Carly? Whatever. If I've learnt anything, if I've learnt anything at all it's that even if you fall into the pits of hell someone has been deeper than you so there's no use acting depressed. I'd just depress Jack with my presence if I told him I, if I, I just don't remember much you see. I certainly don't remember Aslla Piscu or death or a thick fog that obscured the truth all my life. No I don't remember, let me have that happy dream at least.
Someone's going to have to stop him you know. It has to be me huh? How cliché. It's just too cliché. No, no, no Jack's more cliché, him saving me, us living happily ever after. Death is not cliché. Agony is not cliché. Though some may think it is. If you've ever FELT death, BEEN death, you'd appreciate how very NOT cliché it is. A cliché is having my happy ending, the one I was promised all along. But, but we can't all be happy can we? Kiryu knows and Yuusei knows and I know that Crow knows. But still they believe, the masses, the fuel that men, no boys, like Divine use, they use the lies we are told, happy endings, it's just too cliché. Too cliché for people like me right? Someone's going to have to stop him you know. It might as well be me. No one will miss him really, he's too cliché for that. Or maybe that's exactly why they'll miss him. A great source of knowledge she'll say, someone that we could have learnt something from she'll say, that's what's going to happen, exactly, because Aki still believes in happy endings because in the end that's all she's ever known, isn't it? A witch gets rescued from a dragon by a handsome prince and he reforms her and they live happily ever after and why can't that be ME Aki? I'm so stupid, so stupid. Someone's going to stop him you know, I guess I might as well.
And so I sneak up to him, the rambling little boy as he's being driven to tears in protest.
"You're a liar! I had good intentions, ALWAYS! I don't believe in your lies of damnation and pain! I don't believe! I don't even believe your here! I'm hallucinating! I think I'm paranoid! Manipulated! So, so just shut up! You know nothing! Nothing! Do you hear me you retched beast!? Eh? Eh? Ah I don't think soooooooo, I am DIVINE you hear me DIVINE, that man you speak of, he died, the one the jilted me, he died! And there is no monster in his place! I am not a daemon! I am not, I have always looked out for my KIND!" He screeches out in tears so thick he must be obscuring his vision.
And secretly I want him to stumble into someone's gun and have his brains blown out because it's the merciful death and I am merciful in the end I think. Secretly I am always very, very angry, surprise. Secretly I'm burning up on the inside!
And I continue sneaking close behind him with the intent of harm, to save Aki, to hurt Aki, to save him, to kill his name, I won't let him die, he'd just be a martyr for the cause. So I won't let him die because it makes me feel oh so much better to disguise cruelty as mercy!
I think I've lost my mind, I think as soon as that creature climbed into it it was gone in an instant. It was gone and Carly Nagisaki died. All that's left is her memory and the lies that the person that took her place spun. I couldn't let Jack see me like this, he'd hate me. Divine and I are alike in that regard it seems, he and I killed ourselves for no real reason, for a purpose beyond our intent, an intent that was cruel in my place and kind in his and oh what tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive. We have both deceived ourselves and continue to deceive as we can't bear the truth, well I can; now. I wonder if before he burns out if he'll see the light, I wouldn't put it past him to burn out without even seeing the sun he fought so hard to protect before night came and he found he liked it better. That's where we differ it seems, I am so horribly afraid of the dark and I ran as soon as I saw the sun over the horizen and he must be so scared of the sun as he ran from it as soon as he heard of it, as soon as he remembered it. What a sorrow fate that must be.
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Shut up." It begins to turn to whimpering. "Shut up. It isn't true, it's never been true, I, I, I don't need anyone. Everyone's, everyone I ever said I love you to I lied to them, people, people have always just been tools, weapons, for me, is that what you've been waiting to hear? Have you been waiting for me to admit that I am sociopath? That I am monster that has damned himself in good intentions? I'm sure that is exactly what you've been waiting for because you just can't admit, because it BURNS you up INSIDE, that you, you worked with me! You believed in me! And somehow, now, that you're morals have changed you want to make it seem like I was always the monster, that I did this all, that you were never there telling about your life, about the agony and the pain that people go through and what your previous owner went through and how we are prosecuted and despised and murdered in the streets as sub human scum! And it's not my fault you've suddenly had a change of heart, I am not a monster because of you! I am not a monster! I am a hero! A saviour! I want people that are special, better, like me and Aki and you're former master to live in harmony, beyond harmony, have lives better than those of those that have done this to us! The filthy, scum of this earth, those without abilties, the real sub humans! Real sub humans are ordinary people because they can't see the other pictures! The bigger one! Evolution! Superiority! They want everything to remain the same even though we are changing every second! And that just makes me sick to the pit of my stomach and it burns me up inside to the point where I'm going to scratch the eyes out of anyone that even dares act like I'm not better! That dare tell me that I'm sub human again! I have transcended humanity, that's what psychics are! Evolutions, the superior human, and if you can't see that than I am deeply afraid that you are nothing but worthless scum! I! AM! NOT! THE! MONSTER!"
Look at him rambling; he's admitted his unreasonable ego too many times to count. What is it they say? Beware he who fights monster lest he become a monster and what else? I'll remember.
I'm so close to him, so very close, so close I could kill his breath. I'll protect Aki despite how cliché this whole scenario is (it isn't at all but cliché is the only thing I've ever known. There's no originality in Neo-Domino, just more lies than could ever have dripped from the most despicable mouths.), I promise I will because of Yuusei and Jack and Crow and because she needs my help and she's silly and she's nice and she's a good person despite burning up inside and writhing and drying and muttering under her breath about how goddamned horrible she is and crying about witches and things she really knows nothing about but she IS a good person. In the fairy tale of our lives I'm the witch that runs into Divine's arms screaming as she's dragged into the darkness and never sees the light without fear and she's the beautiful princess that everyone adores and that's so cliché. In the fairy tale I'm a witch and Jack's a king and never will the twain meet until my head is resting on a plate. Aren't fairy tales awful? Yes? No? Partially? Regardless in this cliché world of lies where everyone has to be cheating I think that I may in the end be a success somehow, even if that success if burning someone up until they can't breathe and they have to see what they've done.
I finally tackle the fumbling little boy and before he can even scream, even think, I'm punching him. Divine god, of a world all his own and I a complete failure that believed in fairy tales til six months ago and I'm punching the daylights out of him. It's so not cliché I think I'm going to choke on laughter if I could laugh without crying and without faking it for once.
"Carly Nagisaki?" He chokes out in shock.
I silence him with another punch. He smiles a bloody and partially toothless (I took out a tooth) smile. Cold fingers brush my neck as I am pulled away. Aki'll we alright then. Good. The Duel Monster that was formerly attacking Aki picks me up and begins to cause extreme cold. I smile because there's nothing else to do but smile at her. Out of the corner of my eye I see Aki, psychic Aki, violent Aki, The Black Rose Witch attacking her former saviour without mercy. The Duel Monster drops me and I manage a shudder or two before my body grows numb and my face freezes this way. My camera drops and snaps a picture of the scene. A dead green eye is all I can see in my camera, it must have zoomed. So cold. You know, I remember the quote now, it ends with and if you gaze into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you. So I must have... just looked in...to and ab...ysss...look...I'm burn...ing...up...inside...be... cause... of...dark...he...must... burn... looking... in... eyes... of mine... shrivel in the sun. Oh, oh. So cliché. Right Jack?