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I don't own twilight

Bella's POV

I see Edward start to walk away and head into the park. Do I follow him..does he want me too. I have nothing to loose at this point in time so I do. I get out of my car and I see Edward turn and look at me. I want nothing more than to run into his arms. I want him to know that what I did was the biggest mistake of my life and I will do anything for him to forgive me.

"Bella" Edward says softly to me. He looks so sad I hate it.

"I'm so sorry".Tears stream down my face and fall to my knees. I hiccup a few times trying to talk again. "I never ever wanted to hurt you...I know that I have and that is something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life.' I can barely get out the last few words.

Edward gets on his knees in front of me and takes my hands. "I was..am so mad at you. You were supposed to be the one who would never hurt me. I gave you everything and you go off with another man. Bella I want to hate you and I want to say get the hell out of my life...I want you out of my head. But I can't do it. Everyone can see that. I can hardly breath without you. Just tell me what I can do to make you happy" Edward has tears in his eyes as he looks into my eyes.

I squeeze his hands and look down at my knees. " I didn't do it because something was lacking in our relationship. I think I just felt trapped. I did it just to do it" He lets go of my hands and stands up.

"Why wouldn't you just break up with me instead" He asks me with a hint of anger in his voice.

"It's not that easy. I still love you and I loved you while all that was happening" I try to touch him and he steps back so I cant.

"Bella is this how its going to be..every time you get bored with me you are going to fuck around"? His words are a slap in the face. I stand up

"NO"! I shake my head. "I never want to go through this pain ever again. I don't ever want to do this to you again. I know what it feels like to loose you and I don't want to feel it ever again" I try to touch him again.

"Bella you're not the only one who learned a new feeling through this...I don't want to get hurt again." He pulls at his hair.

I hate seeing him like this. I realize that there is no magic word I can say to him that will make this better. And as much as I hate this, there is only one thing that might be able to help. Time.

"Edward, I love you. More than you will ever know. I think we both need time to think about this. I know what I want and even if you decide that you can't be with me..I will understand." I turn to leave.

"Bella"...Edward starts.

I go up and put my arms around him and kiss him. It feels amazing to feel him again. I have butterflies and I don't want the kiss to end. But I pull away.

"Just think about everything. I will be there when ever you make your decision" I turn away before I don't have the power to walk away.

Edward grabs my hand and turns me around."Bella.." he doesn't finish he sentence for a second time.

"When ever you have had time to think all this through we can talk..ok?" I touch his face.

I turn to leave and he doesn't stop me again. When I get to my car I turn and see Edward just looking at the water. I get in and start to drive to Rose's house again. As much as it hurts I know what ever is meant to be will be.

thanks for reading. Sorry if you hate it.