Disclaimer: I do not own FMA (no real surprise there)
A/N: This is the result of me being so bored. I was also so bored that I started working on Jealous Much? as well. (-insert gasps/yays/ect here-)
This is so short because it was part of the next chapter, but then got off subject, so I had to cut the two.
Rule Thirty Three
Not Allowed To Chew Gum At Formation Unless I Brought Enough For Everybody
Golden eyes scanned the field before them. General Edward Elric marked down who was at formation and who was not as he stood next to Colonel Roy Mustang. There were seven rows before him, where military men stood straight and seriously.
Well...Most of them.
In the fourth row stood the loud-mouthed, back-sassing, perverted Specialist Envy. Next to him was his roommate - or 'buttbuddy', as he was often referred to by the Sin, but the blond always denied such silly games - Specialist Russel Tringham.
Blue eyes glared angrily at Envy's girlie face for what seemed like hours as the Sin blew yet another bubble. His glares were non-effective, and Russel decided to take the physical approach.
His idea came to him as Roy and Edward were walking up and down the isles of soldiers. They were doing the same rutine that had always done longer than he could remember: march up to every military personal, make sure that their uniforms are correctly put on neatly, and so forth.
Envy was on his ninth bubble as Roy walked over to them.
The Colonel stopped in front of the Sin, and his eyes narrowed. "Specialist Envy," he mumbled sternly.
The bubble the Sin was blowing popped, and he put it back inside his mouth. "Colonel Molesting Roy Mustang," Envy replied, equally as stern.
"What is it that you have there?"
"What does it lo-" he was elbowed in the side by the Major, "It's gum."
"Since when have you started chewing gum?"
"I'm trying to fight off my addiction. It helps to chew gum."
"What addiction?"
"My sex addiction," Envy said, face a complete mask of calm.
Roy stared blankly at him.
Edward looked heartbroken.
Russell was disgusted. '...Well...At least I will be able to sleep now...'
"I don't care. You know the rules about gum, Specialist Envy. Spit it out," Roy scolded after a few minutes.
The Sin shrugged. "Apparently I do not. Would you care to explain them?"
Edward stepped in front of the Colonel and looked up at his favorite homunculus. "Envy, you are not allowed to crew gum at Formation."
"What if I brought enough for everybody?"
"Well...Seeing as there's over fifty people at Formation, and the possibility of you having enough for everyone is very slim, I guess it would be alright.
Envy smirked, and left with a plan as soon as Formation was over.
However, Russell left frustrated. His plan was not fulfilled. 'There's always next time.' He thought as he got straight to work - or, in this case, watching Southpark.