AN: I have igbogal to thank for the brief mention of a military psychiatrist in the last chapter, which is an idea that's just stuck with me! At present I don't have any plans to write a sequel to this story when I finish it, but I do quite like the idea of writing a few one-shots relating to it as an epilogue of sorts, and there's quite a few characters that could benefit from a visit to a shrink. But that's all in the possible future, whereas this chapter…well this one's bucked the recent trend of being longer than 6,000 words and comes in at over 4,000! I must have done something wrong. Or something right. But like the last chapter this one is more of a set-up for future ones, which could account for its length and style and content.

But anyway, as always I thank you for reading this, and for any comments you want to share about it – it always makes my day to read them and to get into discussions with you :)

14. Calculation

'He…Turbo wants to apologise to you, and to make things right again. …so why don't you come and join us?'

'… why don't you come and join us?'

This time Surge absorbed Taffyta's words instantly, and felt them dissolve throughout him with no resistance at all. In physical response to them Surge felt his jaw drop and his legs take a large step backwards, as he continued to hold iron tight eye contact with the girl who'd just spoken them.

Which are pretty stupid actions to take, because doing so gives the impression that you're surprised by her words, when you know you're not.

…but maybe it's not a bad impression to give…

You just…need some space to think this through. Yes; some space and some time, because-

-but time is exactly what you don't have, so think this through quickly and make your decision smartly.

Even though he could think at almost the speed of light, Surge uncomfortably suspected that analysing Taffyta's offer would take longer than it should. But he really didn't have much time to indulge in speculation, and the only other way to arrive at a considered conclusion was to think quicker. But to do that would require extra power to boost his processors, and the only way he could do that was to draw up extra power from the grid.

Which will cost you… 1% internal power. Not much at all on the face of it, but you've not got much left to spare don't forget. But to come to a decision and analyse all of Taffyta's words before Calhoun reaches you – or before Turbo suddenly pops up out of thin air – is essential. It's essential and critical and must be done so stop doubting and just do it. Just… do it.

So he did.

Surge connected subtlety and briefly to the grid, and received a sharp spike of pain up both legs for his efforts.

!_Internal Power Supply remaining…14%!

Ignoring this miserable warning and its accompanying discomfort, Surge channelled the power to enhance his critical reasoning circuits. It sent them spinning and whirring and primed them with energy, and allowed him to enter into a rather detailed analysis of his current situation with himself. He referenced past actions and omissions, speculated on what the remains of his future could hold, and attempted the ambitious but necessary task of preparing defences against them. It was a brutally honest, uncomfortable, enlightening and ultimately crucial conversation that would affect the lives of everyone out here in the Station with him, and it lasted a grand total of 1.3 seconds of real time.

Surge's instinctive reaction upon hearing Taffyta's words was the sensible and correct one, and burst out freely.

Well no of course I'm not going to come and join you!

But another voice, tiny and barbed, emerged to speak as well.

[But why not?]

And once this voice had been recognised it refused to go away, and provided a counter point to the arguments that were obvious on the surface but ultimately shallow in nature.

What do you mean why not? That's obvious!

[So then explain it to me]

Because I'd never betray everyone to pally up with Turbo again, that's why.

[But who said anything about betrayal?]

…she…

[Exactly. Taffyta didn't say you had to abandon or harm everyone if you chose to join them]

But to join Turbo would mean parting with the others though. Well to an extent it would.

[But that hardly means in a fatal sense though, does it?]

…the others wouldn't like it.

[The others don't like you anyway]

That's harsh.

[The truth usually is. Have you ever really been friendly with Ralph and the others in the first place?]

…I wanted to be. I still want to be.

[I already know that, and that isn't what I asked you. Any chance of giving me a straight answer?]

I wasn't even truly friendly with Turbo in the first place if you think about it.

[I'm going to correctly take your roundabout non-replies as a 'No']

What's your point?

[My point is that, to an extent, you were friends with Turbo, and that extent was greater than anything you have now with anyone]

And as my friend he treated me so well, didn't he? What with all the lies and betrayal and general indifference he held towards people's lives.

[Taffyta said that Turbo wants to apologise]

Yes he probably does, now that his plan hasn't unfolded exactly as he wanted and his back's being pushed against the wall. This was probably just a back-up plan he told Taffyta to carry out if the wafers failed and she was discovered before Turbo could make contact with her.

[But what if he genuinely does want to apologise to you, and to explain all of what he's done?]

So what if he does? Any sort of apology can't change what he's done; it can't bring back the poor guys from Road Blasters or his own game and it certainly can't undo fifteen years of dictatorial rule in Sugar Rush.

[But doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?]

No.

[Now who's being harsh?]

I don't care.

[I think you do care, and that you're simply reluctant to face him again, and not just because of what he did to those three games. In fact it's not even mainly about what he did or allowed to happen to those games, is it? It's about what he did to you]

…that's-

[-true, yes, so let's stop beating around the bush and just admit it. You're scared Turbo will give you a heartfelt apology about how he tricked you and manipulated you and lied to you, and you're scared…well actually you're scared of two things: first of all that his apology won't be sufficient, and won't live up to the flawless words you've imagined him perfectly articulating to you, and second of all that his apology will be enough, and as a result of his explanation you'll forgive him, and be easy prey to believe the next words that come out of his mouth and act accordingly upon them and then end up regretting them again and beating yourself up for the next fifteen years. Quite a conflict, isn't it? No wonder you're thinking like a jerk]

…I'm not a jerk, I'm- honestly, what kind of a word is that anyway? It's hardly appropriate, and-

[-and you're just skirting around yet another subject you know to be true, because it's touched a nerve and you're worried about how the outcome will portray you in the eyes of others]

…not…not just me; it's…it's how those outcomes will affect others in the arcade.

[You can't know what happens all of the time, and you certainly can't predict how other characters will act and react]

But I should be able to! Otherwise what's the point of me? I'm here to protect everyone, and I can't do that if I don't consider all the possibilities, and certainly not if I put my own feelings above my purpose.

[Why can't you do both?]

No-one gets everything they want, let alone me.

[Stop feeling sorry for yourself]

If I don't, no-one else will.

[Pathetic. That's the first genuine argument you've given as to why Turbo might take advantage of you. You do protect everyone and you do a damn good job at it, despite the occasional mistake or oversight you make which you beat yourself up far too much over for, so stop whining and pull yourself together]

…and do what?

[Be honest with yourself and make a decision. For the first time in a very long time, you need to face something head on and deal with the consequences as they strike, instead of ducking them. They may hurt, but that's just unfortunate. That's life, and you need to get one]

…I have a perfectly fine life thank you very much.

[No, you have an existence]

…

[And you don't much like it]

…and…and siding with Turbo will get me one, will it? It will just magically drop into my lap and that will be that?

[Stop being an idiot; of course it won't happen like that. If you want something you need to seek it out; you need to take action and do something to bring it about, instead of moaning and complaining and blaming others when things don't work out perfectly or even at all]

…so what do I want then? To save everyone single handedly? To have them declare undying and genuine friendship to me? To have Turbo do that?

[Yes]

…oh, well, that's just-

[But more than that, what you want first of all is answers. You want to know if Taffyta is lying or not, and you want to know what Turbo eventually wants. And ultimately, the only thing you really want – the only thing you've ever wanted – is accurate information so that you can do your job properly and be liked and respected for doing so]

…I…yes. …YES.

[About time you listened to sense]

…so what do we do about it?

[Fancy another trip into the grid?]

Not really.

[No, nor do I. But it's necessary]

How?

[You know full well that various sub-grids store a copy of all instructions that take place in Game Central Station. Access the grid, and you can find copies of things such as the commands given to override the temperature control boxes. You know they will exist, because the boxes have never been off-line. If they had been deactivated, you would have been warned about it]

But that information will be in the Archive; it will just be small lines of secondary directive pixels mixed in with other routine instructions. It could take me a while to locate them.

[So stop moaning and get on with it then]

But that won't give me information about everything I need to know.

[You have to start somewhere]

…but…but what if I don't have enough power to get back out again?

[Stop being so melodramatic; a grid trip won't cost you that much power and, even if it does, so what? Your purpose is to protect the games and characters in here, and ultimately that's what your life force is designed to do]

Let's not sugar coat things, shall we?

[A sweet outer layer can only disguise the inside truth for so long. In fact-]

-any outer layer can only disguise anything hidden underneath it for long, yes I know.

[Are you sure?]

Yes. And Turbo knows it too. He-

[-loves a disguise, yes, and not just for himself. As…much as you want to rage against Taffyta, you know deep down that she is telling the truth about a lot of things. Especially with regards to your former circuit racer friend]

…I…know. Yes, she…she is. The…the temperature control boxes probably have been tampered with, but…but I know them perfectly! I created them! The only thing I don't know is how Taffyta got hold of one in the first place! But she did get hold of one and did something to it, and…and…oh. Oh. Does that mean she was also telling the truth about the temperature boxes not being the only thing they improved? Does she mean that the…that the tablet computer was improved as well? And by that she of course means that it was compromised; that it was modified and changed and…and that the conversation I had with the CPU on the tablet computer was a fake? That what it told me - that Turbo's regeneration had only just begun when the engine was activated - was a lie?

[Probably]

Well what does that mean then? That Turbo was regenerated before Vanellope completed the circuit? Or had he been re-created even before that? And if so when? A day, a week, a month ago? And who would have programmed the tablet to give those responses out to me? Sour Bill? Turbo? Had Turbo done it? Had he actually been sitting somewhere and typing a response out to me? Or had he programmed the tablet with those set replies regardless of what I said to it?

[Possibly]

…it's- the computer had been modified, and…and it showed me what I wanted to see.

[And what did you want to see?]

…it told me that Turbo's regeneration was commencing, and…and it told me that Taffyta was responsible for it!

[Stop acting so shocked and ask yourself why Turbo would want you to believe those things]

…because…because how could I not act on the claim that Turbo was being regenerated, especially since I knew it was actually possible?

[…keep going…]

It…it was a distraction; it was a distraction to get me to access the backup outlet and investigate the engine with the hope of putting a stop to his regeneration process. And the others would have been confident Taffyta would be trapped in the barrier, and they would have come with me, leaving Turbo to visit her alone.

[Why did the computer specifically name her though?]

…because…because Turbo knew that I would have to question her. I couldn't just ignore her forever, and would have to eventually speak to her, either before or after checking out the engine. And that's…that's when Taffyta would have been instructed to make her offer to me about joining them.

[You're not going to wallow in more self-pity about tricked yet again, are you?]

…not…not ye- No. …NO.

[Thank goodness for small miracles]

Although I should have double checked what the tablet computer told me, especially about the energy waves being unstable.

[You've got that right; there aren't ever any spiking grid fluctuations unless the electricity for the whole arcade has been compromised, which it hasn't. Which means the engine could have been terminated safely after all]

I was…distracted; caught up with things that were moving so fast and…and he didn't want me just deactivating the engine immediately upon reading about it, which I could have done. Which I still could do. Just send a long range electrical pulse to the grid matrix surrounding it, like I originally did to the place in Sugar Rush where I thought it was.

[…you're not going to try and shut it down now though, are you?]

…no.

[…oh I see where this is going, and what plan you're starting to cook up. But did you think to confirm that the engine actually played a part in Vanellope's current condition?]

It…must have! It…she hadn't calibrated her pacemaker to cope with what she did. She completed that circuit and the transfer of power overwhelmed her. It overwhelmed everything; she completed the circuit, activated the engine, the Station nearly imploded, and she turned herself into a pile of flashing blocks because the voltage produced wasn't compatible with her pacemaker. It deactivated her device and activated the engine she'd somehow managed to move.

[Really? From a circuit? She's knocking on death's door and everything that happened did so because she connected a circuit?]

…it's the most logical and likely explanation.

[It's another thing you never had time to confirm, that's what it is]

…

[And when does a completed circuit flash purple when two wires are connected on it?]

…

[I think you know where I'm going with this one…]

…it…the circuit board was another thing that was tampered with, wasn't it? It had been modified. It had, as Taffyta would no doubt put it, been improved. …Taffyta…

[If you were a betting man you'd wager your last clipboard she was involved in that, wouldn't you?]

…she could have…given…Vanellope that circuit? But to do what? Harm her? Destroy the Station? Actually kill her? Is that what you're saying? That Taffyta wanted her dead?

[No, that's what you're saying. And to an extent it's what you genuinely believe. At the height – or should that be the depth – of your involvement with Turbo, you would have done almost anything for him]

I wouldn't have killed for him!

[That reminds me: are you going to accept Taffyta's offer to join up with him or not?]

I would never have even harmed anyone for him! It's in my programming to protect people, not to harm them!

[…but you did allow him to view the inner workings of the Arcade in your office, didn't you?]

I didn't exactly put the konami code into his outstretched hands you know!

[Just as much harm can be done through action as can omission don't forget]

Oh good, a well-timed preachy message to mull over. Someone's intention is more important than their actions or lack of, and I never intended for Turbo to see that code. You know something? I really am getting sick and tired of blaming myself for how Turbo unintentionally saw that code, and what he then chose to do with it.

[Good. Keep this up and we might actually get somewhere]

And where might that be?

[Selective hearing back already? How many times have I told you we need to go back into the grid?]

But…if Turbo does have a way of monitoring my actions in there…if he can see what I'm doing out here even, then…

[Then you need to take a leaf out of his book, and cover it up. Distract him. Distract them all, and get in and out of there like a flash]

…Vanellope's blocks are flashing…

[What? Stop getting off track and-]

No; this is the track. Vanellope's flashing, it…oh. Oh. OH. Oh that makes so much more sense now! Especially when you consider the short amount of time she was suddenly left with after she completed the circuit. Three seconds remaining? Nonsense. That must only have happened because…because oh, if that is actually true then that was bad of him. That was terrible and wrong of both of them to do. Vanellope didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve any of that, and she doesn't deserve what's still happening to her!

[So then put it right. Get into the grid, double check things, do those other things I know you've got planned out for them, save Vanellope, and then you can be a hero to one and all]

…that's a lot to do.

[Yes. But you know it can be done. It can be done and it will be done. So less procrastination and more grid jumping please]

…fine. I'll go into the grid, and hope my power supply lasts until the emergency backup arrives. But…but Calhoun and Ralph are close; they're very close, and they can't see what I'm about to do. They can't even know about it, until…well until the time is right.

[There's not much time left to do those things before they reach you. Calhoun at least will certainly notice some of them before you have a chance to put them back again]

…I'll lie.

[She'll hate you]

She'll understand.

[You hope she will]

I know she will.

[Really? She won't go easy on you]

It wouldn't be the first time.

[You won't like it]

Again, it wouldn't be the first time.

[You sure you want her that against you, even if it is for a short period of time?]

No, of course not. But it will be for her own good. Ignorance will protect her. It will protect her and Ralph and…and oh, it will even protect Taffyta. It willbe for the best for them, and…and it will also, ultimately, without any lingering doubts whatsoever, eventually be the best thing for Turbo as well.

[…ambitious]

I thought you wanted me to set my sights high?

[I want you to set them low – you need to get into the grid]

…the necessary distractions will cost me more power.

[True. But will they be worth it?]

…yes. …YES.

[Then let's get this show on the road then. After you've decided on one last thing that is…]

Which is…?

[What answer are you going to give Taffyta?]

…Taffyta won't be expecting what I'm about to do next.

[…is that an inappropriate level of self-satisfied smugness I hear in your voice?]

…most definitely not. It's nothing more than a completely justifiable trace of contentment in knowing that I will soon be able to discharge my duties effectively and efficiently.

[…if you are going to enjoy startling Taffyta again with an unexpected action, then why not do it properly? Why not show it to her? That'll really throw her]

…if I did do something like that, say if I grinned at her and nodded my head before I vanished, it would only be to add to the illusion of the distraction; it would only be to further wrong foot her and leave her with more questions than answers.

[Sounds like a completely plausible justification for such an appearance. Too bad it isn't completely true…]

…would it really be inappropriate?

[Of course not! That little brat needs a taste of her own medicine, and it's not going to do her any harm. But there's something else you need to give her though…]

An intellectually stimulating lecture on the morality of lying?

[An answer. Stop dodging the issue: what are you going to say to her?]

…

[What are you going to do?]

…the right thing.

[Which is…?]

…not what may be expected.

[You're impossible, you know that?]

The sooner this is started, the sooner it can end.

[What an insightful statement; I really wish I'd thought of that]

…shall we go now?

[Yes! Go. NOW]

…Yes.

NOW

With a judder Surge's processors screeched to a halt, and his internal analysis was cut off sharply.

Despite his plan to immediately confuse Taffyta and disappear into the grid, Surge couldn't help but glance up at one of the temperature control boxes. I'll be finding out about you soon…

But before he could look at anything else, he heard Calhoun bellow 'After I get some answers out of Taffyta you best believe I'm getting them out of you!'

Best not hang around here much longer…

Deliberately ignoring her, Surge then knelt down and put one hand flat against the floor. Obviously it's just as easy to connect to the grid from an upright position, but this just looks so much more than what it is. And talking of looks…

Surge then raised his head to make eye contact with Taffyta and, without any conscious effort behind it, felt his expression smoothly transform into the one he wanted her to see. He felt it become the one he wanted, and was rewarded by seeing a whiplash of uncertainty strike her face.

Feeling his lip curl upwards even higher and his loaded grin expand even wider, Surge then nodded his head curtly at her. My apologies if that's not quite the answer you were expecting from me Ms Muttonfudge.

He then pressed down harder, pushed his internal warnings to one side and, without breaking eye contact with Taffyta, connected to the grid and executed the first action on his list.

The backup lights were immediately cut, and the Station was plunged into total blackness.

…but not, as I suspected, the infra-red trails of light streaming out of the temperature control boxes. They're still alight. Now let's confirm a few other things…

And to do so accurately, Surge first made sure that he wouldn't be seen or heard or even suspected of doing so.

He first tripped the switch to activate all of the warning alarms, which immediately unleashed a thunderstorm of mechanical screeching to rain down on everyone in the Station. The bolts of compressed sound waves had a frequency so sharp and dense that someone wouldn't even be able to hear their own thoughts, much less anything else that could generate a sound.

Surge then ignited half a dozen incendiary illumination circuits, and pushed past the overload warnings they threw up in order to overwhelm them with power. The result of this was that they buckled and imploded, and set off a chain reaction that spread to all of the illumination outlets in the Station. They were the path of least resistance for the surging tidal wave of light behind them, and the electrons exploded out of them all at once to create and sustain a solid wall of light so bright and white and painfully dazzling that it was all consuming even with your eyes closed tightly shut.

Everyone in the Station was rendered deaf and blind and confused, which meant that he could undertake his work without being disturbed. He could do it uninterrupted and in secret, and he could do it precisely.

He could do it well, and could fight back and actually act for once, instead of simply being forced to react to things.

And to do that, he needed to disappear.

Which is exactly what he then did.