Title: - For who you are (Part one)

Rating: - M

Pairing: - Izaya x Shizuo (Izuo), Shizuo x OC

Disclaimer: - I don't own Durarara

Warnings: Izaya, smut, Intersex, language, violence, yaoi

Summary: - AU:- Shizuo was born as intersex, every relationship he's had has failed and ended in rejection. Just when he had finally closed his heart off, he ends up with another boyfriend. Izaya.

A/N:- So this is the request for Eman and Monoko. This might make some people uncomfortable and isn't connected to any of my other fics. You've been warned. Enjoy.

"Are you going to tell him?" Coffee eyes widened, gaping at his younger brother. The second that question had been asked, his cigarette had suffered, laying crushed in his hand. "Not yet." He turned away guiltily, giving Kasuka the same answer he had for the past month. His track record of failed relationships, was ridiculous. Just when he thought he had found someone to accept him, they had turned around and thrown rejection in his face. He had learned not to trust anyone, that was until he met his current boyfriend.

Izaya Orihara, a cocky informant the same as him. The only one to actively challenge him. It had been his friend Shinra that had introduced them. At first he could tell they wouldn't get along, but here they were two months along. It was longest relationship he had been in so far. You see he had a secret, one that made him different to everyone else, one that meant his heart was regularly broken, each time he had been stupid to reveal his secret, to trust that he would be accepted for who he was.

Each heart break took longer to heal than the last and he knew that if Izaya rejected who he was, he would break completely, if that happened, he didn't know if it was possible for him to recover and that scared him. He had let the relationship go on this long and he was only falling deeper.

A knock at the door broke him out of his thoughts, Kasuka looked at him blankly, before getting up to answer it. His breath caught as he recognised the voice. "Shizu-chan!" Footsteps ran into the kitchen, slender arms throwing themselves around his neck. "Hey flea. What are you doing here?" Crimson eyes narrowed, his boyfriend happily dropping into his lap, making him freeze, he quickly placed both hands in his lap, making him feel slightly better. "You've been ignoring me!"

Izaya kicked his legs laying back against his chest. "I'm bored. Lets go somewhere." Shizuo tried to catch his breath, slim fingers drawing patterns on his chest. "Fine, where do you want to go?" He said anything to get his boyfriend away from him. "Let's go to your room." He felt his face whiten, turning incredibly pale. "What about Russian Sushi?" His boyfriend shook his head, a wide grin on his face. "I'm not hungry." Fear pierced through him, knowing what Izaya wanted. He was surprised the flea had waited so long. But he knew it with every fibre of his being. His time was up. "Shizu-chan."

Fuck he could already feel his eyes becoming damp, none of the others had affected him this badly, it would be the flea of all people that could break him. Warm fingers rested on his cheek, crimson eyes narrowed. "What's wrong?" The blond opened his mouth, nothing coming out, he felt like he was suffocating. He should have said something sooner, he should of... What? Ended their relationship before it had begun? "Nii-san. Do you want me to tell him?"

Hand all responsibility over to Kasuka and run? Shaking his head, he gently pushed the flea from his lap. A bitter smile touched his lips as he watched his boyfriend look between the two of them, irritated he didn't know what was going on. "No. I'll do it." His legs refused to move as he stood, taking Izaya's hand. He forced himself to move up each step, closer to his bedroom. The flea knew something was up, following him silently, wondering if he could feel him shaking. Once they reached his bedroom he closed the door.

Steeling himself, he hid everything away behind his mental shield. Sitting on the bed, he pulled out a cigarette, lighting up. For once Kasuka would have to forgive him for smoking in the apartment. He couldn't stop the shaking as he brought it to his mouth. He hadn't always been like this. He had been like everyone else, joining in with everything, he was calm and polite and trusted easily. He didn't think what made him different would be such a big deal. He was wrong.

His first crush was the cause of his strength. His first girlfriend, believing that he should be honest told her. He had been pushed away in disgust, called a freak and had been laughed at. That wasn't the worst thing, rumours about him spread like wild fire and soon the whole school knew. He had been eight years old.

From there his temper had flared, becoming uncontrollable, he found himself with another abnormality. His super strength. Everyone stood clear of him, but the rumours still circulated, making him miserable, it wasn't long before his parents had removed him from school.

"Shizu-chan? What are you doing?" The blond blinked, inhaling more nicotine. "I'm preparing for... Our breakup." Because he knew he wouldn't ever be accepted. In the beginning the flea had teased him about his strength, until he had knocked him flying.

He barely caught his cigarette as he found himself looking into darkened crimson. "Why would we need to break up?" He watched nervously as Izaya moved to sit at his computer, testing out the chair. "Silly protozoan, never assume." His tense mood was interrupted, his boyfriend spinning around and around. "Because I'm a freak." The chair stopped, sharp crimson studying him. "Is this because of what I said about your strength? You're not supposed to take it to heart."

He shook his head, throwing his finished cigarette in the bin. "I'm not like your... Precious humans as you call them." Izaya shrugged. "I know that's why you're special." Blinking he shook his head. "You really don't make things easy, damn flea! I'm intersex." In the two months they had been together, he had never seen his boyfriend speechless. Now right in front of him the usual mask he wore was gone as his eyes blinked and widened. It was the end of yet another relationship. He shouldn't be surprised. "...Ask Kasuka to let you out."

Shizuo pushed his numbed body from the bed, he was tired. He needed some fresh air, a place he could be alone. He had his answer without the flea even speaking. He clenched his fists as he opened the door, trying to stop them from shaking. Closing it behind him, he rested back against the wood, trying to calm himself down. Pushing away from the door, he calmly walked past his brother, forcing a smile. "Nii-" he shook his head. "I'm fine. I expected this." Without another word, he opened the front door and left. He had no destination, he just needed to get away.

Kasuka watched his older brother leave, his face blank. It was pointless going after him, nothing he said would make a difference. All he could do was make dinner, buy some of his favourite cake and pour him a glass of milk. It was all he had ever done for Shizuo. "Kasuka-kun." He didn't have to turn around to know it was his brother's what he assumed was ex boyfriend. "Orihara-San. Nii-San left." Gesturing at the door, he turned away, moving to leave the room. "Shizu-chan told me."

Shrugging his shoulders, he stared blankly at the informant. "And you rejected him, like the others." A hand on his shoulder stopped him from walking away. He winced as fingers dug into his shoulder. "I never rejected him, he left before I could say anything." Kasuka continued to stare at him blankly, not believing a word he was saying.

"Shizu-chan told me he was intersex. What did he mean?" Crimson eyes narrowed, letting go of his boyfriend's brother. "It means nii-San has both male and female reproductive organs." Izaya shook his head, tipping back on the balls of his feet. "I know what it means. What I want to know is why Shizu-chan was so secretive."

Both of them stared at each other, Izaya with determination to find out what was wrong with Shizu-chan. And Kasuka with blank indifference. He had a niggling feeling the man in front of him was different. Pulling out one of the chairs, he took a seat. "Orihara-San. You aren't the first to know about nii-san's secret." Crimson eyes narrowed. "He's been in relationships before, they all ended badly." And now he knew why the blond had always seemed partly distant, every time he sat on his lap, he had frozen. How badly had the blond's previous partners treated him?

"Names." He took out his phone, bringing up the memo pad. "What?" Izaya tapped his ringed finger against the table. "I want the names of everyone who went out with Shizu-chan." He grinned wickedly, slightly pleased he had broken Kasuka's facade, he hated those eyes, they reminded him of a dead fish. He narrowed his eyes, typing out each name. Memorising each one, already thinking of ways of making these certain humans suffer. Once he had the final name, he reviewed the list. Two girls and three boys. Snapping his phone shut, he tapped his fingers against the table for the last time.

"What are you going to do?" Kasuka spoke just as he had reached the door, he sent a smirk over his shoulder, giving a small wave with his hand. "Bye bye, Kasuka-kun." And then he was gone, the five names swirling around in his head. He should have known something was wrong, he was an informant, one of the best.

So why hadn't he picked it up? Why hadn't his instinct screamed at him? It was a blow to his pride as well as his love life, it was okay though it could still be fixed. Instead of looking for his runaway boyfriend, the informant went straight home. "Namie-San you can go." Shrugging off his signature jacket, he sat down in his spinning chair. Even if the blond had stayed, what could he say? The protozoan hadn't bothered to trust him, he had expected to be thrown away from the beginning. It was an insult, sure he knew they had a rocky start, the blond had hated him, at the start.

Still he guessed he should be thankful, that the blond had even given him a chance in the first place. From the start he was probably thinking when they would break up. He wouldn't allow it, the blond was the most fun he had in a while. Maybe even loved him. It didn't take him long, it had taken less than an hour for him to gather all the information needed and now he sat back arms folded behind his head, a smirk on his face. Right in front of him he had every single bit of recorded data on his boyfriend, known to everyone else as the fortress of Ikebukuro.

He brought Shizu-chan's profile up, reading the first page.

Name:- Shizuo Heiwajima

Date of birth:- January 28th 1986

Blood type: O

Gender:- Male (intersex)

Parents:- Kichirou, Namiko

Siblings:- Kasuka

There it was in black and white, right in front of him. He would have known if he had done a background check, instead he had tried the long way, getting to know him. Leaning forward he ran his fingers over the small passport size photo. It looked like it was newly taken, the blond scowling at the camera, it made him smile. Skimming the rest of the file, he picked out the important information. Izaya went right back to when the protozoan was a child. Surprisingly the blond had normal grades, he had been doing well.

With a click of the mouse he brought up the class photo taken at the time. Another surprise, Shizu-chan looked so innocent, eyes wide and smiling, brunette locks falling just above his eyes. Underneath the photo were the names of every child. And there she was, in the front row, third from the left. Neat brunette hair, tied in a pony tail. The very first one to hurt his Shizu-chan, the first one he was going to make sure regretted breaking his monster's heart. "Now to see where, Sakura-chan is."

Izaya checked his phone as he made his way through Ikebukuro, the blond hadn't tried to contact him. Shaking his head in disappointment, the informant locked onto his first target. Shizu-chan's first girlfriend worked in a convenience store. It would have been impossible for the two of them not to meet each other, at some point or maybe the blond knew she was there and avoided the store?

His crimson eyes narrowed, as he waited in line, observing her from where she stood behind the check out. Her hair stopped just above her shoulder, a smile on her lips as she served each customer. Three of his humans along and now she was looking at him. "Sir, you don't have any items?"

"No, I wanted to talk to you, Sakura-chan." She automatically became guarded, making him laugh at her reaction. "Sorry, I don't know you. Excuse me I have to serve other customers." Holding his hands up, he gave her one of his charming smiles. "It won't take long. I wanted to ask you about Shizuo Heiwajima."Her next words made his anger spark. "I don't know anyone by that name." Her eyes were filled with confusion. She had hurt the blond and didn't even remember. "Is that so? Hmm, see you later Sakura-chan." Humming a tune he skipped from the store. Now what should he do with her?

He didn't know how long he had been walking, he didn't know where he was, he hadn't picked a direction, all he could feel was the sound of his heart breaking. Glancing around he tried to see if he recognised anything. Fuck! He was lost, that's all he needed. The blond's mood lightened a little, spotting a bakery.

Crossing the road, he pushed the door open, mouth already watering at the smell of freshly baked deserts. Crouching down Shizuo took in the large selection. "Excuse me, can I help you?" Making up his mind, he stood ready to give his order, finally settling on the strawberry cheesecake for starters, they all looked delicious. "Yes, Can I-" his face dropped as he recognised the man in front of him. "Shizuo?" Great, the guy remembered him too.

"...that's all I know." The end of the line went dead, Kasuka cutting the call on him. Now he had more than just names, he knew what each one had done to the blond. Sakura-chan had spread rumours around school, forcing Shizu-chan to leave and according to Kasuka, awakened his strength.

Her punishment was simple. Rumours. It was easy, Izaya had the social network at his fingertips. It wasn't long before everyone in Ikebukuro would know the words he had spread and she would find out the pain of being forced out. He wondered how long it would be until she cracked, until she had enough and ran, forced to leave her friends and family. Closing the information he had on her, he tilted his head back and laughed. One down and four to go.

Izaya went over the additional information Kasuka had given him. The second girl was Airi-chan. The protozoan had stayed single on purpose until he was twelve years old, he had scared everyone away, losing his temper and showing his strength. Unless he asked his boyfriend, he still only had half the story. Airi-chan had acted innocent from the start, sitting in the seat next to Shizu-chan. From there they had grown close, but it was only a dare. The other students mistook the boy's anger and saw him as a bully.

It ended in Shizu-chan's grades dropping considerably, three smashed up classrooms and a parents meeting. The informant shook his head at how blind his boyfriend had been back then. No doubt he thought the fake relationship meant something and had told her. He couldn't ask the blond and he couldn't ask her. She was on holiday in Paris for two weeks. Until he knew what she had done, he couldn't issue fair punishment. Unable to tick her name off on the list, he skipped to the next name.

Shizu-chan's first boyfriend Hiroki-kun, clearly he thought that he could no longer trust girls. Their relationship had started in the first year of high school, he had dyed his hair blond and was treated the same as a delinquent. This time the blond had a few friends. A few clicks and he was pulling up the school photos from that time. That innocent smile had vanished, changing into a small scowl, that would eventually become permanent. Skimming through the names at bottom, he was disappointed to see the two weren't in the same class.

This was another one Kasuka hadn't given him much to go on. Hiroki-kun was in the year above Shizu-chan. So how did they meet? The only information he knew was how upset and broken the blond had been when the relationship had ended. Kasuka had said, his brother wouldn't eat or sleep, he spent every day in his room. Opening a new window, he pulled up the information he had gathered on Hiroki-kun.

The man had done well in school, graduating with high grades. He now owned a bakery in Ikebukuro, which was quickly growing popular. Leaning back in irritation, he span the chair around, until he felt light headed. This was getting him no where. He wanted to make them all pay, he wanted to see his Shizu-chan and ask him what was going on in the protozoic brain of his.

Leaning on his elbow, he brought the man's image up on screen. He didn't look threatening, or like a bully, he looked normal, a normal baker. Which raised the question. "What did you do to Shizu-chan?" Well there was one way to find out. Locking his computer, he grabbed his coat, heading out of the apartment, to the bakery his monster's ex boyfriend owned.

End of part one