[Pons: In my great quest in all the forms of Voldemort. I have found five.] [TUF: I want to be the very best. Like no one ever was. To catch them is my real test. To train them is my cause! ] [Pons: Hey! We're not training Voldemort.] [TUF: Oh, okay. -guitar solo's in the back singing- GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL! C:] [Pons: Okay well anyways, we got these five rare Voldemorts: Voldemort - form Voldemort, Voldemprt - Swine form?, Volsemort - form Norwegian Viking, Volfemort - Wolf form, and my personal favorite Vlodemort -his Russian form.]
AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws! [Pons: Well…] [TUF: Nice that you informed us you shall be 'nut updating' with lack of refuse. Poor squirrels.]
WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. [Pons: You mean she's only now advising us!] [TUF: I suppose so. -reads ahead- Oh look another Voldemort form ahead in the grass.]
We ran to where Volcemort [Pons: Up to six. Electric form!] was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snake tail [TUF: Peter has a snake form now? Oh no.] [Pons: Use to have a rat tail. Not sure what happened.] [TUF: A snake happened.] was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.
"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun [TUF: Let's just be done with the wands all together. Much easier to save a possible rebound.] [Pons: Wizards would never use wands anyway. What are you talking about.] [TUF: Silly stick fights. Poke someone's eye out they did.] [Pons: Seriously, who uses wands now-a-days? It's all about the guns.] [TUF: And the limited ammo.]he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. [Pons: Oh so now he's in love with you too.] [TUF: At least Voldemort seems to resist. It must be the lack of nose thing.] [Pons: That or he is already in love with his multiple forms Or Shakespeare gives him the power to resist.] [TUF: It must be that. Those plays be pretty taxing.] "." [TUF: He says either 'period' or silence. Since a period would be awkward at this time lets turn to silence.] he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs oldso hes not a pedofile ok)[TUF: That is stretching it a bit far. Unless he got into some bell jar stuffs.]
"Huh?" I asked.
"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain. [Pons: She does simile. I'm surprised.] [TUF: I'm more surprised she laughed, turned him down, and killed him. So happy this didn't turn into a weird orgy with all the Death Eaters running around without socks.]
"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly. [Pons: She wouldn't last five minutes in the Hunger Games.] [TUF: Kill somebody, cry, gets killed, end of story.]
"Snaketail what art thou doing?" [TUF: He's getting murdered, my Dark Shakespearian Lord.] called Voldemort. [Pons: Still practicing for that play?] Then... he started coming! We could hear his high heels [TUF: What on Earth part did you get for that play?] clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. [Pons: 'Cause it was that simple.] We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.
"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. [TUF: Because he shouldn't head off to the hospital wing for being tortured by rehearsing lines of the Shakespearian kind. And whatever else was done. Nope, sex fixes everything apparently. ] He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what [TUF: No I don't. Was it a tattoo? Did he get another one. Or perhaps a radical new long scar.] [Pons: It was a huge tattoo of Voldemort.]and everything.
"Its so unfair!" I yielded. [Pons: Yielded? What?] "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything." [TUF: What? There are a billion other reasons for crying. And that is - that is just stupid.]
"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." [Pons: Yes, but on the first date you two-] [TUF: I know, what you mean.] answered Draco.
"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan [TUF: Yes because he has such a hand in those affairs.] have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" [TUF: Well if it is a curse like you say, perhaps he did have such a hand in this. WHAT DID YOU DO!] I shouted and then I ran away. [Pons: Run away and stay away now.]