A/N Sorry that it has taken me so long. I know, I know, it has taken me a freakin' month, and the only excuse I have is that I have a very demanding 3 and 4 year old. They seem to have a problem with letting mommy have any down time to write.

I want to first, again, thank my beta, Breath-of-Twilight. I love her dearly, and I don't know what I would do without her.

I also want to thank Mean Mrs. Mustard aka coldplaywhore. She featured my story and interveiwed me on P.I.C.'s Fanfic Corner and I am so grateful and humbled. I absolutely love her work (definitely check her out) and it meant so much to me that she chose me and my little story.

I also want to thank my pre-readers, Smoke Fairy and iharkcom, your imput means so much. Can't thank you enough.

The song for this chapter is Sea Of Teeth by Sparklehorse.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephanie Meyer is a goddess and she owns everything. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 14

Block

EPOV

She had agreed to go on a date with me, which continued to give me more hope, when surely I deserved none. After holding her all last night, I couldn't help the smile that had etched on my face. There would be plenty of questions from my family, but I hadn't felt like sharing my wonderful mood with them yet. So, after I left Bella's, I immediately headed into the woods to hunt.

It didn't take long, however, before Alice's thoughts drifted into my mind, just as I was taking down my second deer.

So… things went better than you expected?

"Well, I guess you could say that. Except for the damage that Jacob Black has done, I would say that she's starting to try and let me back in."

Edward, she loves you. There is no denying that, you just have to realize that what you did, what we all did, has impacted Bella's life in ways that we can't even imagine.

She hasn't had Charlie. She has barely had anyone. We just need to do what she wants… anything that she wants.

I could tell by her thoughts that Alice missed Charlie immensely. Alice seldom even bothered trying to hide things from me, but I could hear the murky painful thoughts bouncing around, even when she was trying to block me out. It pained her that she didn't see Charlie's death coming, and it pained me that deep down we both knew that was my fault. If I hadn't asked her not to look for Bella's future she would have seen what was coming, and could have possibly changed the outcome. Even though the possibility was miniscule, it was the fact that there was a possibility at all that bothered Alice. Knowing that there was even a chance meant she would shoulder the blame.

"You know, Alice, it's not your fault. If anything it's mine." Remorse seemed to be the only emotion that coursed through me as of late, an emotion I rightly deserved.

At some point, Edward, we need to stop talking in matters of blame. We can't change any of that now. We have to make sure that her future is bright. I obviously can't see anything… yet. Between Jacob and her indecisiveness, I just keep getting flashes of what could happen, nothing concrete. I just wish I wasn't flying so blind, for all of our sakes.

"Alice, Bella has already forgiven you, don't you see that? It's me she can't trust. I plan on doing whatever I can to make it better… with all of you."

Alice and I slowly made our way back to the house. Esme was in Carlisle's office going over plans that Esme had drawn up for a green house. Emmett, in one of his obviously more tender moments, was reading to Rosalie in their room. Jasper met Alice in the front room and they immediately curled up on the couch together. It was moments like these that broke me, forced me into coming back to Forks.

Over the last eight years, I had missed Bella in ways that I couldn't even comprehend. She was my air, my earth, my sky… my heaven. I had thought about her so much and so often that I half expected her to be just as frozen in time as I was. Eight years was but a blink of an eye to me, but to Bella, it was time enough to become a woman. She had grown up without me, leaving me a seventeen year old boy, while she was now a twenty-six year old woman.

That very moment, I felt insignificant. I wondered if in some way, even though Alice said that Bella still loved me, if she had in her own way outgrown me. Did I look like a child to her, or did she just simply overlook that because of the past feelings she so desperately clung to?

I thought back to the first night that she saw me with her own eyes. The storm that raged outside was no match for the tumultuous emotions that ran between the two of us. In that moment, I wouldn't have denied her anything. I would throw myself into a pit of fire if that was what she wanted.

Feeling her lips on mine and her skin beneath my finger tips, sparked a fire within me that I thought had died out. In that moment, I knew I would give her anything she wanted, including my body.

How ironic, after fighting off all her advances for so long, that I would succumb so easily. It was more than just a physical need. Whatever the need, it was so deeply rooted in me that I wasn't sure if I would ever uncover exactly what it was. It was part of my very being.

I was also surprised at how easily it was to physically be with her. I was so caught up in her that I truly hadn't realized what a major step we had both taken. To say that I was surprised that she was still a virgin was an understatement. I had in no way expected her to not be with another man physically. I was selfish, and to think about her with anyone was the worst kind of physical pain, but I had accepted it. The fact that she hadn't been with anyone was a confirmation to me that she held out hope that we would be together again. I had always held that hope, as well, but I was stubborn, and couldn't believe that it had taken me so long to see the error of my ways.

When she called me about her fight with Jacob, I wanted to do nothing more than make her happy again. I wanted to erase all the damage and hurt that she had been through, both at my hand and his. I wasn't quite sure as to what extent their relationship was, but if I could be sure it wouldn't hurt her, I would have killed him for making her cry. What a hypocrite I was, when I had done so much worse.

I was abruptly brought out of my thoughts by my phone buzzing in my pocket. I immediately answered, knowing the only person it could be was Bella.

"Hello… Edward?" a voice croaked on the other end of the line.

"Bella, is that you?" What had happened to her voice?

"Yeah, it's me. Sorry I'm calling so early, but I wanted to let you know that I don't think I'll be able to make our date tonight." She spoke slowly and sounded as if she was straining just to get the words out.

"What's wrong?"

"I think the excitement of the last couple of days is finally catching up with me. Saturday morning I was really hung over, and then Saturday night… well you know… I don't think being outside in the rain helped anything. I'm just really drained, and my throat is killing me."

Guilt spread quickly through me. Had I been the one to get her sick?

"Bella, I am so sorry..."

"Edward, it wasn't you, okay? Seriously, I had forgotten how you tend to overreact… a lot." I heard her snort out a raspy giggle.

"Alright. I understand. Can we possibly reschedule? I mean…I just…" Not knowing what or how to say, "I just really want to see you, again."

"Well… I really want to see you, too. I just don't really feel like letting you see me right now. If I feel better tomorrow, I'll be catching up on work that I missed yesterday, and Friday is girl's night with Angela."

"Do you go out with Angela every Friday night?" I was generally curious, plus, now that I was back, I wasn't sure how I felt about her partying so much. I understood that Bella had a small drinking problem, but I wasn't sure how bad it actually was. Only time would tell if it was a major problem, and maybe things would be different now that we were back. I didn't want to bring it up though, especially since she was just starting to let me back into her life.

"Not every Friday, we just try and go out at least two Fridays a month."

"I see, so… I guess just call me, when you would like to get together again. If you need anything, Bella, don't hesitate to call me. I mean it; I'll be there whenever you need me." I wanted to ask if I was at least allowed to visit while she was sick, but I didn't want to push my luck. If she wanted my company, she would ask me.

"Okay, thank you, Edward, can I ask one favor though?" Anything, my angel. "Can you ask Alice if she would be able to come by later? I just need to talk to her, and I don't have her number." I could hear the apprehension in her voice, and I wondered what exactly she needed to speak with Alice about. It was clear that whatever it was she did not trust me with it, and I couldn't say that I blamed her. I had burned that bridge, and I would do my damndest to rebuild it, one way or another.

"Of course, I'll let her know. Get better, Bella, and hopefully I'll be talking to you soon." I said, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice.

"Bye, Edward." I heard the line disconnect, but I couldn't bring myself to take the phone away from my ear.

Honestly, Edward, I have no idea what she wants.

I hadn't even noticed that Alice was in my room, and for a second, she had actually startled me. Alice thought that was highly amusing.

Sorry… well, actually, I'm not. It's not very often that I can sneak up on anyone. I could hear her laughing louder now.

"No problem. How much of my conversation did you hear?"

None, I just saw that you wanted to talk to me about going to see Bella. So, here I am.

"Bella's not feeling well, so she had to cancel our date tonight. She wanted me to ask you if you could go by her house. She has something that she wants to talk to you about."

Did she say when I should go over there?

"All she said was that you should come by later. Don't forget to give her your phone number as well. She said that she didn't have it, and I just want to make sure that she always has a way to get a hold of any of us at any time."

No worries, I'll make sure she has all of our numbers, just in case.

She turned to leave, and I was left alone with the stone silence of my room.

Alice left later that afternoon and didn't return until the following morning. I could tell that they had had an important conversation, and clearly they did not want me involved in it. Alice's thoughts were so locked down that I couldn't even tell if she was having a vision or not, which was definitely new.

"Alice, is everything okay? How's Bella?"

"She's better; she just wanted to catch up since we really haven't had much time together." Her words veiled something, but I couldn't tell what.

"You're sure? What's going on, Alice? I can tell you're hiding something from me. Has Bella changed her mind about wanting me around?" She hesitated, firmly keeping her block in place.

"I'm positive, she's better, and Bella has not changed her mind about you. She just really needed to talk… with a girl." Alice was still completely shutting me out and being insanely cryptic. It was beyond frustrating.

I didn't want to get the run around any longer, so I decided that I just needed to get out of the house so I could think without any interruption.

I moved without consciously thinking about where I would go. The need to run superseded everything at that moment. When I snapped back to reality, I found myself in the forest, outside of the high school. More specifically, I was now discreetly hidden in the trees directly outside of Bella's classroom.

I could see her clearly through the windows, and she looked rested. Her voice, however, still sounded like she was straining.

I was still so amazed at her transformation. It was going to take a long while before I would be able to replace my sweet Bella with this new Bella. The one thing that didn't change was the fact that she still held me within the palm of her hand. She was like a magnet that pulled me to her.

I observed her for the rest of her school day, only leaving when she finally shut off the light to her classroom.

I didn't want to press my luck by following her home. I decided it was better to just go home and wait.

I could see the house coming into view as my phone vibrated in my pocket

"Bella?"

"Hey, Edward, I just wanted to call… and say hi."

I could hear the nervous tone in her voice and wondered what the cause of it was.

"Is everything okay? Did something happen with Jacob?"

"No…no, nothing like that, everything's fine. I just hadn't talked to you and… I missed you."

"I missed you, too." I couldn't say that I was surprised by her admission, but I was happy to hear it just the same.

"Strangely enough, I actually figured that you would have come by… like old times, but you never did. I mean, I know I said that I needed time, but I guess… old habits die hard." Her voice was so quiet it was almost a whisper, like she was ashamed to say this to me.

"It's been hard to stay away, but I wanted to honor your request. Bella, I just… I hated that it was Alice that you wanted and not me. That sounds so selfish, but I just don't know how to get back to what we were… what we had. I don't know how to make things better. I just want them to be better, desperately." I didn't want to seem needy, and I was emasculating myself, as it was already, by whining to her about choosing Alice over me. I just didn't know how to handle this, and I didn't want to do anything that could possible jeopardize any part of our relationship that we could salvage.

"Edward… I just needed to spend a little bit of time with Alice. I know it's only been a couple of days since you've been back, but I have only really seen her when I came to your house. You weren't the only one that I lost… and Edward… I guess… I just still carry you in my heart with me at all times, so I thought that one night would be okay. I didn't think it would bother you this much." I could hear the hurt in her voice. Why did I always hurt her?

I felt like such an ass. Here she was just basking in the fact that we had returned and I was selfishly upset that she hadn't picked me first. Especially with the way that Jacob had acted. She certainly did not need another man disappointing her.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to make you feel bad or uncomfortable. It's just… now that I am back, I just want to spend as much time as possible with you, as much as you'll allow. I'm being ridiculous, and I certainly don't want to upset you further."

"No, Edward, it's fine, really. It actually makes me feel good to know that you care so much. I think it's just going to take some time for us both to work through our baggage. Eight years is a long time for a human to gain all kinds of baggage. Anyway, I also called because I wanted to see if Saturday was okay for us to reschedule our date?"

"Saturday would be fine. Are you still going out with Angela tomorrow?"

"Yeah, and actually, Alice and Rose are coming with us as well. Alice and I figured that since Angela had seen you guys already that it would be okay if they saw her and Rose, as well." This wasn't a huge problem, since the girls could dress older than their respective ages, but there couldn't be too many more people that noticed our return. We had been careful already not to alert anyone in town of our presence; it would raise too many questions.

"That should be fun for you ladies to catch up," I said softly, trying again to keep the hint of sadness out of my voice from her all too observant ears. She would feel badly, and I didn't want that for her.

"You know, the club in Port Angeles is really nice. You can accidentally run into all kinds of people there." Was she hinting at something?

"Really, like what kind of people?" I wanted to make sure I understood what she was implying.

"Well, I mean, you guys could certainly have a boy's night out. Since there aren't many places to go, it would only seem logical that you would, maybe, end up in the same place." She was playing coy with me, I loved it.

"Well. that sounds like an excellent idea. I think I am definitely ready for a boy's night out. Maybe we'll run into each other, but if not, I'll see you on Saturday. I'll pick you up around ten. Does that sound okay to you?"

"That sounds great, Edward. Talk to you later? Good night."

"Good night, Bella"

When I heard the phone disconnect, I fought back the wave of emptiness that plagued me when I could no longer hear her voice, but the memory of her playing with me in hopes that we would run into each other tomorrow evening, were ammunition enough to flood my heart with happiness. Tomorrow I would see her, and I would start making up for lost time.