Chapter 14 - Goodbye
The next morning Freddie woke slightly disoriented at the feeling of something soft and warm at his side. Looking down at Sam's sleeping form he remembered; today was the day. The day he got to take Sam home and start their lives together. He stared into her face and smiled. She was even beautiful now, with her mouth open, filling the room with her loud snores. Between her and a crying baby he might not sleep again for another couple years but it was a price he was more than willing to pay. Any price was worth it, if it meant waking up to feel Sam in his arms every day for the rest of his life.
He looked over at the clock. Seven thirty; they'd have to get up if they wanted to get packed, to the doctor and off to the airport on time. He knew that as happy as he was that this day was finally here, Sam was probably going to be sad. She'd been here for five months with people she loved, who loved her, and now she'd be leaving them all, unsure of when she'd see them again. He wanted to make that as easy for her as he could.
He tried to remove his arm from around her without waking her up. Feeling him moving she grabbed onto his arm and wiggled herself closer into him. At this hour in the morning having Sam this close wiggling around was only going to bring on a repeat of last night's conversation. And as he was no closer to being comfortable with being with her...that way, he thought it best to get up – now.
Laying a kiss on her cheek he pulled his arm away and rose slowly from the bed. He stretched and walked to the window that overlooked the front yard. It really was a beautiful place-he could see why Sam would miss it. Even having only spent a short time here himself, he thought a small part of him would miss it as well. It was so quiet here. He found it easier to think. Or maybe it was just the fact that Sam was so close, right here near him, that made everything more peaceful. He made his way to the door and down into the kitchen and was surprised to find his mother already there, in the same spot she'd been sitting in last night, staring into a mug of steaming coffee. He cleared his throat to make his presence known. She raised her head and smiled at him.
"Oh, Freddie, honey. Good morning."
"Morning, Mom."
"How, um…how did you…sleep?"
He laughed to himself. She'd probably spent half the night wondering what he and Sam were doing upstairs.
"I slept fine. The baby was moving all night though; not sure Sam got much sleep."
"I remember those days. You were a particularly active baby. He must take after you."
Freddie liked the sound of that. He liked the idea that his son might be like him. His mom pointed to the spot across from her.
"The only thing that ever calmed you down was your father's voice." She went quiet, a sad smile etched her face. "Seeing you with Sam brings back a lot of memories. I wish Jack could be here. Sometimes I just...I just miss him so much."
"I know Mom, I miss him too," he said, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand.
"It's just hard. Knowing he won't be a part of all this. But I know you're going to be an amazing father. You can't help but be…it's in your blood." She smiled across at him. "So, have you and Samantha made any plans?"
"Well, we haven't talked much about it. But Sam said something about staying with Spencer and Carly."
"Nonesense!" his mother cried out, taking her hand from his, "I can't have my grandson staying in that hazardous playland they call an apartment! She's family now-she'll stay with us of course!"
"I was hoping you'd say that," he smiled
"You don't have to do that, Mrs. Benson"
They both looked toward the doorway where Sam stood, her wild curls all over her head, rubbing sleep from her eyes and she stared at them.
"Call me Marissa, and I want to. That's my grandson you're carrying."
"I know, but I just…I don't want you to think you have to take care of us. Carly said I can stay with her and Spencer and I've been working…taking care of Sarah's son while I've been here. I thought I could get a job…at a day care center or as a nanny. I can make my own money. You won't have to take care of me…or the baby." She played with her fingers, something she only did when she was nervous. Freddie opened his mouth, intending to tell her that she was nuts…he was going to take care of both of them, no matter what she said, but his mother patted his hand to silence him.
"Samantha, I meant it when I said that you're family now. And family doesn't keep track of who owes whom. They support each other because…because they love each other. I'm going to be there for Freddie and the baby and you – not because I have to, but because I want to. I know it's hard for you to understand, but you're just going to have to trust me. Now, if you and Freddie decide you want to work until the baby comes then fine – but if not, that's okay too. I want you to concentrate on school and get ready for your future. Giving you and Freddie the opportunity to do that is the best gift I can give my grandson."
What Sam did next was a shock to both of them. She looked up at Marissa with wide eyes and then took quick steps across the kitchen and into his mother's arms, the women held each other in a hug while he looked on speechless.
"Thank you," Sam whispered.
"You're most welcome" his mom said, rubbing Sam's back. "Now you'd better get some breakfast. I hear you have a doctor's appointment and then we've got to get to the airport. It's time to go home."
They arrived at the doctor's office, a caravan of bodies all squished into J'Maw Maw's pickup truck. It was originally intended to be just Sam, Freddie and J'Maw Maw, but Carly and Melanie feigned offense at being left out. Then his mother said that as the only medical personnel in their group she needed to be there to make sure she was clear on anything special the doctor might want Sam to do when they arrived in Seattle. He knew she just wanted to be there and he couldn't deny her that privilege.
They managed to arrive on time and he caught Sarah's surprised smile as they walked in.
"I see you really are a good influence," she laughed, as Sam signed in, rolling her eyes at both of them.
"I try" he said, following Sam to a small loveseat in the waiting room. He was nervous; Sam said she'd have an ultrasound today. That meant he was about to see his son, outside of a picture, for the first time. He felt like a kid at Christmas. Sam reached over and placed a hand on his shaking knee.
"Nervous?"
"That obvious?"
"Well I figured you were either nervous or you had to take a whizz… either way, you need to calm down. You're making me nervous."
Before he could answer, a nurse stepped from behind the door and called Sam's name. Immediately six people stood and moved toward the door.
"Sorry, only three people."
Sam looked at the disappointed faces of her friends and family in the lobby. She looked back at the nurse.
"Can you make it four….just this once?"
The nurse sighed and beckoned them in.
"Alright, but it's gonna be a tight fit."
"Carly and Marissa" Sam said, "Do you mind if I take in Mel and J'Maw Maw? I mean…you can both come to appointments when I get back to Seattle. This will be the last time for J'Maw Maw, and probably the only time for Mel."
"Of course sweetheart," Marissa said, flicking Carly on the shoulder when she started to protest. Carly, in her usual fashion, had a pout on her lips as she sat back down in the waiting room chair.
Melanie squealed and ran over to Sam. Once again, Freddie was amazed at the differences between the sisters. Sam never squealed…about anything. Ever.
"Alright people, let's get a move on. Baby Benson awaits," Sam said, and they all followed her through the door and into the exam room.
Sam sat down on the table and lay down, lifting her shirt.
"Whoa Sam! You're hu…."
"She's beautiful!" Freddie said, shooting daggers at Melanie who at least had the good sense to look ashamed of herself. Sam sat up, pulling her shirt back down.
Before she could make a comment the door opened and the doctor walked into the room.
"Wow… looks like we got a party in here! Who brought the beer?" he laughed loud and long at his own joke and Freddie found himself liking this doctor already. Even if making jokes about pregnant women drinking beer was just a bit inappropriate.
"Hey Doctor Parsons. This is Freddie, the baby's father. And this is…"
"Your sister Melanie, of course." He moved toward Melanie and shook her hand after shaking Freddie's. "You both look so much like your mother when she was your age. Beautiful, just like she was."
Melanie threw a look of confusion at Sam and the doctor.
"You know our mom?"
"Knew our mom," Sam said, "They played tonsil hockey in high school."
"Sam!" Freddie said. He loved her but she had no verbal filter whatsoever.
"What?" Sam said, "It's true, isn't it doc?"
"Pam and I were a bit of an item in our day. I loved that woman to pieces…but she broke my heart and the rest, as they say, is history." He clucked his tongue as he looked at Sam's chart, sitting down beside the exam table. "Now, how is our littlest patient doing these days?"
"Oh, he's fine. Kicking dents in my internal organs. You know, the ususal."
"So he's moving a lot?"
"Yeah, mostly at night."
"Are you getting any sleep?"
"I'm trying, but he seems to have other plans," Sam said, rubbing her stomach.
"Well, try a warm shower before bed and chamomile tea…that might help"
Sam wrinkled her nose. She hated tea.
"I'll make sure she does it, Dr. Parsons." Freddie offered. "Is there anything else I should be doing for her?"
The doctor smiled at him "Well, Freddie, the most important thing is to keep her from being stressed, but I suspect that you might have already fixed most of that problem, just by being here. She also needs to be eating healthy," he cast a suspicious gaze at Sam, "that means no Fatcakes, no raw or processed meat and plenty of vegetables and water."
"Vegetables suck."
Doctor Parsons laughed as he helped Sam lay down on the exam table and turned on the ultrasound machine. "Oh Samantha, you are such a delicate flower." he joked, "Now, let's take a look and see how the baby's doing."
Sam lifted her shirt and Freddie shot a look at Melanie, who put hand over her mouth. The doctor squeezed a clear jelly onto Sam's stomach and Freddie tried not to stare. He couldn't get over it. The last time he'd saw Sam's stomach exposed it had been completely flat. Now it was round, the skin stretched tight, as if she'd swallowed a soccer ball. It was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.
The doctor turned down the lights and walked back over to the ultrasound machine, taking a wand-like instrument, dragging it over Sam's stomach. Freddie stared at the screen and felt his heart stop as the room filled with the sound of rushing water. A loud 'swish, swish, swish'. He looked to Sam who smiled up at him and grabbed his hand.
"That's his heartbeat. How cool is that?" she said.
He was without words. His son's heart. It was beating and he could hear it. Sam always called him the girl in their relationship and if he let loose the tears threatening mutiny behind his eyelids, she'd know for sure that it was true. A wide grin swept his face. He never played football, but if he did now would definitely be the time for a touchdown dance. He lowered his face to hers and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
"Coolest thing ever." He said, his heart threatening to burst from his chest in pride.
"You haven't seen the coolest part yet Freddie," the doctor said, moving the wand around on Sam's stomach. "Take a look at…this."
Freddie eyes focused on the screen and if he thought the sound of his son's heartbeat had been a lot, this made him want to run from the room screaming his happiness. There on the screen in front of him was the easily decipherable form of their baby. He could see everything; his head, his tiny hands curled into fists, his legs open wide.
"Looks like he wants to make sure you know he's a boy." Sam laughed.
Freddie just stared at the screen, trying to take in everything, ever part of this moment so that he could hold it tightly; etched on his heart..
"I felt the same way the first time I saw him." Sam said.
Freddie was silent, and he stayed that way through the rest of the appointment. He had a vague knowledge that people talked to him at some point, but he couldn't answer. He was dumbfounded. It was all very real now. He was having a baby. He and Sam were having a baby. A real live baby that needed…stuff. Stuff he'd have to provide. And his child had a mother. A mother he happened to love more than anything in the world. A mother he hoped would be his wife one day. Wife. That meant marriage. Did Sam want to get married? Did she want to get married now? They were only seventeen. But Sam was a girl and didn't girls want that, even non-girly girls? Maybe he should he propose? But to do that he'd need a ring, and rings were expensive. And even though he was doing some side jobs, he'd planned to use that money to get things for the baby. The baby that cost tons of money who had a mother who wanted to get married, that he couldn't marry because he didn't have a ring. His thoughts rushed in unrestrained and filled his head with a symphony of anxiety and worry. Holy Chizz! What the hell was he going to do?
"Freddie? Freddie? Freddie!"
He jerked to attention as he heard Sam calling his name.
"Um..yeah…What's up?"
"Time to go, nub…you have embarrassed me sufficiently for the day. Appointments over." Sam laughed as she struggled to sit up.
Freddie offered her his arm to help her up. Looking around he saw that he and Sam were the only people left in the room.
"Where did everybody go?" he asked.
"They left a little while after you went comatose." She laughed easing down to stand beside the table. Her laughter stopped and her smile was replaced with a look of concern as she studied him. "Are you alright, Freddie?"
He struggled to respond, his heart and mind fighting to be the first to let her in on his internal battle.
"Yeah…No…I mean." He stopped and stared down into her face. "Do you want to get married?" he shouted. Sam took a step back from him so he lowered his voice. "I mean…should we get married?"
It was her turn to be shocked now.
"Married?" she sputtered, "You mean like…rings and vows and to death do we part?"
"Yeah…I mean. God, this is a horrible way to approach it. I'm sorry. And I understand if you don't want to marry me. I'm such an idiot." He turned from her, putting his face in his hands. He felt her touch his bag, pulling him to turn around and face her.
"Freddie. What brought all this on? I mean…I love you and I'm so happy that we're together now. But marriage? What made you ask that?"
"I just. I just want you to have what you want. And I just thought that…"
"That since I was pregnant, I'd want to get married." She reached out and placed a hand to his cheek. "Freddie. You're right. You are an idiot." She laughed, "Of course I want to marry you…one day. But not now. I don't need a ring to tell me that we belong together. We don't need a ring to make us a family. All we need is this" she placed a hand to his chest. "This is all I need."
He reached out and gathered her into a hug, breathing a sigh of relief.
"Sorry… for…you know."
"Scaring the hell out of me?" she laughed, "It's fine. Comes with the territory I think. This whole teen parenting thing is pretty freaking hard." She grabbed his hand as they toward the door, "But we'll be fine."
"I know." He said
"Oh, and you'll be happy to know that Dr. Parsons gave us the green light."
"Green light?" he asked, "What does that mea…..oh….green light, I get it."
"So get a good nap on the plane because when we get home we've got lots of time to make out for."
"You mean make up for." He said, opening the door to the waiting room for her.
"Quit correcting me Fredly…I said exactly what I meant."
"Whatever you say Princess," he laughed, following Sam into the waiting room. The next two and a half months were going to be interesting.
They arrived back at the house to find Ryland's truck outside. Melanie immediately lit up at the sight.
"Slow down there tiger," J'Maw Maw said, "I'm not trying to have two new babies in the family. I might have to have a talk with Ryland."
"J'Maw Maw!" Melanie cried as she crawled over Carly in her haste to exit the truck. "Don't embarrass me!"
"Better she embarrass you than have a giant belly do it!" Sam yelled after her, "Glue your knees shut!"
Melanie stuck her tongue out and ran over to the truck where Ryland stood in all his Southern glory, leaning casually against the cab.
"You're going to have to keep an eye on those two this week." She said to J'Maw Maw as they walked into the house.
Melanie had opted to spend her last few days of spring break in Willacoochee with J'Maw Maw instead of accompanying them back to Seattle. She said it was because Sam had plenty of people to take care of her there and she didn't want to intrude while Sam settled back into life in Seattle. But they all knew the truth. There was an awful lot of chemistry between her and Ryland and she wanted to explore it. Freddie was glad Ryland had someone besides Sam to occupy his time.
Sam and J'Maw Maw had hooked their arms around each other's waist as they headed into the house. This was the moment she'd dreaded since waking up: saying good-bye. Carly trailed behind them ahead of Freddie. He looked at his watch and saw that they only had thirty minutes before they had to leave. Sam had packed up yesterday, for the most part, so all they really had to do was get her bags downstairs and there weren't very many of them. He looked over at his mom and wrapped an arm around her.
He squeezed her shoulder and walked into the house, letting the screen door slam behind him. His mother looked down at her watch.
"We don't have much time before we have to leave. Why don't you head upstairs and bring Samantha's bags down for her?"
He nodded and headed for the stairs. Before entering Sam's room he looked into the room Carly and Melanie had shared and saw Carly sitting on the bed, staring out the window.
"Carls? You almost ready?"
"What?" She asked, pulled from her thoughts, "Yeah, I'm ready, I guess. I only brought one bag." She closed the top of the suitcase, zipped it and set it on the floor. "How about you, are you ready?"
"Yeah, I only brought one bag too so as soon as I get Sam's bags downstairs we can head for the airport."
Carly smiled. "That's not what I meant. I mean are you ready for all of this?"
He walked into the room and sat down beside her. It was the first time he'd really had a chance to talk to her alone since they arrived.
"Ready? Well, I'm as ready as I'll ever be I guess. Really, who's ever ready for all of this? I'm scared and freaked out and sure I'm going to screw something up. But I'm also…happy." He looked over at her, "Really, really happy. I get to have Sam and my son home with me. I get to build a life with them. So that sort of makes everything else not seem like such a big deal."
Carly sighed, "It's just going to be so different now. I mean, I'm glad Sam is coming home with us, I've really missed her. But… I don't know, now that it's time and we really are leaving I jsut wonder, ya know? How's it going to be when we get back? Sam has you and the baby and I'm leaving for college soon. In a matter of months everything is going to be different."
"Different doesn't have to be bad though." he said, putting an arm around Carly's shoulder, "Some things will change but some things are never going to change. We'll always be friends, we'll always make time for each other and even when you're off at Georgetown, setting the legal world on fire…you'll always be a part of our family, Carly. Don't ever forget that."
Carly leaned a head on his shoulder and smiled "When did you get so wise?"
"Easy with the compliments Shay, his head is big enough already."
Freddie and Carly turned to the door where Sam stood, face flushed, trying to catch her breath as she set the last of her luggage down beside her in the hall.
"Sam!" they both screamed.
"What the hell are you doing?" Freddie rushed to her side. "You shouldn't be trying to carry that!"
"Relax. I'm pregnant, not handicapped." She walked into the guest room and sat beside Carly. Freddie followed her taking a seat at the desk beside the bed. "You ready Carls? Or maybe you want to spend another day filming 'Carly Wants a Cowboy'?" Sam teased.
"Shut up, Sam!" Carly rolled her eyes at Sam and laughed. "But you have to admit…there's something about that southern drawl that makes a girl a little weak in the knees," she sighed, "I'm gonna miss Willacoochee…but I'm ready to get back. I talked to Spencer last night, he's so excited to see you and he's said he's already making space in my room for another bed and…"
Sam and Freddie exchanged glances.
"About that Carly…" Sam said, "I know we talked about me staying with you and Spencer but…"
"Sam and I were talking…" Freddie said, "and we just think…"
"We think it would be better for me and the baby to stay with Freddie." Sam bit her lip nervously, staring at Carly who forehead was furrowed in confusion.
"You mean you're not going to come stay with us?"
Sam shook her head
"You're going to stay with Freddie…and..his mom?"
"It was her idea actually."
"Really?" Carly said in shock.
"Yeah! I know, weird right?" Sam reached out for Carly's hand but addressed Freddie. "Hey Fredlumps, can you take our stuff out to the car please?"
Sam had asked for help and said please all in one sentence – he was too proud to protest.
Both girls watched as Freddie grabbed the suitcases and headed outside.
"Listen Carly, I don't want you to be upset, and I totally appreciate you and Spencer offering me a place to stay, but last night when Craz…I mean Marissa asked me to stay with her and Freddie it was…it was like she really meant it, like she really wants us to be a family and…" she placed a hand to her belly, "I feel like I owe it to the baby to give it a shot."
"I get it Sam. I understand what you're doing and why you're doing it but, like I told Freddie, it's just…weird to see how different everything is. To see you and Freddie together now; being all grown up and responsible. And…as happy as I am for you, I'm also a little sad I guess." She squeezed Sam's hand, "For as long as I can remember it's been you and me. Me cleaning up your messes, you making my life interesting, us…taking care of each other. Now you've going to have a little person to take care of, and Freddie is determined to take care of you. And I guess…I guess it's hard to know you won't need me anymore."
"Carly! Are you nuts! I am getting ready to be a parent! Me! The girl who can barely boil water, never remembers to take vitamins and is on a first name basis with half the King County Juvenile Probation department. I'm going to be living with my oboyfriend and his overprotective mother who will probably insist on special pre-natal tick baths, and in less than three months I'm going to have a brand new crying, pooping infant that has to depend on me for survival." she paused to take a breath, "If there was ever a time in my life I needed you Carly – it's now." She reached out and drew Carly into a hug, "I'll always need you Carls… always."
"Sam, Carly!" Marissa's voice called up to them from the foot of the stairs. "Are you ready? We really have to get going."
"Are you sure you want to live with that indefinitely?"
"Meah…She's not so bad...sometimes." She laughed at the look on Carly's face, "Oh, shut it Shay."
The two linked arms and headed down the stairs and out onto the porch.
Freddie carried Sam and Carly's luggage out to Sarah's car. They'd all be squished into her car for the trip to the airport, and he admitted he was not looking forward to being in such close quarters again. But it was a necessary evil to get Sam and the baby back home. Dr. Parsons had given her the okay to fly but said it would have to be the last time until the baby was born, which meant this was the last time she'd see J'Maw Maw, Sarah, Ryland or Jason until after the baby was born. He'd already been thinking of how much he'd need to save in order to surprise with her with a trip to Georgia for Christmas. He was determined that she wouldn't have to give up the people she cared about here. They'd taken care of her when he couldn't; making the maintenance of those relationships a priority was the least he could do to repay them.
Placing the last of the luggage in the trunk of the car, he walked up the steps to the front porch. Ryland and Melanie were off playing kissy face somewhere. He and Ryland had come to a tentative peace but he couldn't say he was ready to be the guy's best friend. Just the fact that he was so enamored by someone who looked just like Sam made Freddie a bit uneasy, to be honest.
Sarah had brought her son Jason with her to say good bye to Sam. He could see why Sam was so taken with him, he was a pretty cute little kid; blond hair and blue eyes and a smile that lit up his whole face. Sarah walked over to introduce them and when Freddie stuck out his hand to the little boy he was met with a full on scowl.
"Are you Sam's boyfriend?"
This family did not believe in small talk. "Yes," he'd said, "I am. And who are you?"
"I'm her prince. My name is Jason."
"Wow…a prince. That's pretty cool." He smiled, hoping to win him over. Jason was not an easy win.
"Did you know that Sam was a princess?"
"Yes…actually I did."
"Well did you know that since she's a princess you have to treat her real special and always be nice to her and let her share your fruit snacks?"
"My fruit snacks? Really…all of them?"
"Even the red ones."
He looked at Sarah, who was trying to stifle a laugh and then knelt down until he was eye level with Jason, looking at him solemnly.
"Well Jason, if that's what I have to do to keep Princess Sam happy then I will always be nice to her AND share my fruit snacks."
"Promise?"
Freddie held out his hand to Jason again, "I promise."
Jason smiled then and shook Freddie's hand, running down the steps and out into the yard, their conversation already seemingly forgotten. Freddie stared after him, watching the wind blow through is blond hair, listening to his laugh. His heart swelled as he thought of all the years to come where he'd stand in this very spot and watch his own son in this very same yard.
"Yours is gonna be that big before you know it. It goes fast." Sarah said, following Jason into the yard.
Freddie stood and walked toward the porch swing where J'Maw Maw sat holding a glass of lemonade. He sat beside her. He'd been expecting this since he's arrived and had been wondering when the older woman was going to sit him down for a talk. He took a deep breath and waited for J'Maw Maw to speak.
"Freddie, I hope you know you are the center of my granddaughter's world. When she first got here she didn't say much about you…or about anything really, but after a while it got so I couldn't go a day without hearing 'Freddie this, and Freddie that and Freddie the other thing'. She's crazy about you – whether or not she ever says it out loud. But I suspect I knew how she felt about you before she got here; maybe even before she knew it herself."
"Really?" Freddie asked, "How did you know?"
"Whenever she'd call I'd hear about you. Half the time she was complaining and the other half pokin' fun at you but still, it was always you. Me and my friend Wanda even watched a couple of those internet show's ya'll do – you're pretty good by the way – and you and Sammy were always at each other throats, still, underneath it all, I knew there was something more – it was written right there on her face. I'm suprised it took you so long to figure it out. But I guess that's the thing of it, youth sometimes makes you blind...and stupid"
Freddie laughed. He was getting used to J'Maw Maw's unique way of dispensing wisdom.
"She cried for a week when she got here, got so I forgot what her face looked like when it wasn't stained with tears. But even in the middle of that I don't think she ever stopped hoping that you would come for her. At night, when she thought I couldn't hear her, she talked to that little baby inside her nonstop about his daddy. She wants to be a good mama to him." She stared out into the yard, her features marred with a frown. "Freddie, you've met her mother. I tried to raise Pam right, and to give her a loving home. I thought I did, but maybe it just wasn't enough. She has her … issues, and she's taken them out on her daughters. Both Sam and Melanie had a rough time growing up. We had them here for a while after their daddy left."
"Yeah. Sam told me about that. I always knew it was bad...after her dad left. I just didn't know it was that bad."
"It was a pretty nasty mess. I don't think either of them ever really got over it. Melanie dealt with the emotions better. Sammy just bottled everything up inside, behind that wall of hers. She don't show it much but she's pretty sensitive, Freddie, and she's so scarred from being hurt by people claiming to love her; people who usually ended up disappointing her."
"J'Maw-Maw, My entire life, Sam's been there. The first time I met her, in kindergarten, I wanted to be her friend and -she whacked me over the head with a shovel. It was that way for a long time, us fighting and arguing and finding new ways to drive each other crazy. But even during all that there's always been something special about her, something special about us. I can't define it and for a long time I didn't dare say it...but it's like…It's like she was always meant to be at my side. I've fought more with her over the years than anyone else I know, but at the end of the day, we always find our way back to each other. After awhile I guess I started to realize what all the arguing was really about and what it was I really felt for her. It was the scariest thing in the world, realizing I was in love with her – but the happiest thing in the world when I realized she felt the same way." He sat silently, working up the courage to tell the rest of the story. It was still hard to talk about, or admit to anyone, just how bad things had gotten. "When I found out that Sam was pregnant, and that she was keeping the news from me, I panicked; completely lost it. I said things that I'm ashamed to admit. I was really selfish. When she left I was angry at first but honestly, I couldn't blame her, nothing I said would have made her believe I was ready to love her and the baby the way they needed me to, so she came to the place where she knew she'd get that love. I have to thank you for that; for taking care of her when I was too blind and stupid to do it."
"You don't have to thank me for that. We all make mistakes Freddie…it's what we do after the mistake that makes the difference." She reached across the porch seat and patted his hand.
"I really thought I lost her forever. I shut down for a couple of months, but then I realized that I had to decide, once and for all, what Sam was going to be to me, and where I wanted her in my life. And I didn't need to think at all. She and the baby are my family. They're going to be with me, and when the right moment comes, when we're a little bit older and really sure of our decision, I'm going to marry her. I'm going to spend the rest of my life taking care of them. They're what's important; nothing matters if the two of them aren't with me."
"Well...you just said a mouthful. And for what it's worth, I believe you. I like you kid…I think Sammy's pretty lucky to have you."
"I'm the lucky one"
"Yeah…that's true too!" she laughed, and then turned to stare into his eyes, "I was going to give you some advice, but I've been hearing everyone give you heaps of advice since you got here. The fact is, you already had it all figured out on your own, just like Sammy told me you would. She loves you, Freddie, and all she'll ever want is for you to love her back. That's all I'm asking you to do.
"Now it's time for you to get ready. But I want to tell you this. I love my granddaughter and my first great-grandson. And as long as they're a part of my family, so are you. You're welcome here whenever you want, the three of you. And I'd especially love to have you here for a real Georgia Christmas."
"We'll be here, J'Maw Maw, you can bet on it."
"Sam!" Jason had caught sight of Sam walking out of the house and was rushing from his spot in the yard, up the steps and into her open arms.
"Hey buddy!"
"I missed you!"
Sam ruffled his hair pressed a kiss to his crown. "I missed you too. You been behaving?"
"Yes"
"And not giving your mom a hard time?"
"Yes"
"Good boy," she leaned down as Jason beckoned for her to come closer.
"I met your boyfriend," he whispered.
"Oh yeah? What'd you think?" Sam whispered back.
Jason shrugged, "He's alright I guess. But do you really gotta leave Sam? Can't you just stay here with me?"
Sam knelt down and pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry honey…I'm sorry I have to leave. But you can call me whenever you want and you and your mommy can come visit when I have the baby."
"And we can play Superhero saves the Princess?" he said, tears clouding his blue eyes as he clung to her neck.
"Oh, honey…of course we can." She pulled back, using her thumb to wipe the tears from his eyes. "You're my very favorite four year old in the world…you know that right?" He nodded his head, more tears falling.
"I love you Sam."
"I love you too."
"To the moon?"
"And back." She stood and tucked him into her side, walking down the steps toward Sarah. It looked like the goodbyes had begun. Melanie and Ryland walked hand in hand from the side of the house and joined Sarah beside the car. Standing on the porch steps he watched as Sam walked down the steps and launched herself at Sarah and they spent several very teary moments full of promises to stay in touch and threats of what would happen if they didn't. When they finally pulled apart, Jason was still clinging to Sam's side and her face was red and puffy, tear tracks staining her cheeks.
Carly and Marissa had hugged J'Maw Maw and were now standing beside the car, trying to give Sam the space to say her goodbyes. Freddie felt J'Maw Maw's hand on his shoulder and smiled over at her, both of them heading down the stairs and toward the car. There was limited room in Sarah's car and even less in J'Maw Maw's truck so the decision had been made that J'Maw Maw would take Sarah's car and drive them all to the airport.
Sam was hugging Melanie now, laughing at something Ryland had said. Melanie leaned down to place a kiss on Sam's belly and Sarah moved in to hug her again.
"Alright, alright! Ya'll act like she's dyin'! She's just gettin' on a plane and if you don't quit your yappin' she won't even be able to do that!" as usual everyone snapped to attention at the sound of J'Maw Maw's voice. Marissa, Freddie and Carly slid into the back seat. Sam said her final goodbyes and maneuvered her way into Sarah's bucket seats.
Pulling out of the driveway he waved at the little group gathered in the yard, smiling as Jason ran down the drive after them, red superhero cape fluttering in the breeze. When they were far enough away he couldn't see anyone anymore he reached a hand into the front seat and rubbed Sam's shoulder. Leaning toward her seat, he whispered in her ear.
"You okay?"
She nodded but made no sound. She reached up and grabbed his hand, placing the other on her belly. In that moment he felt a powerful connection, to the woman that he loved and the baby she carried. In a world full of people it was the three of them that mattered – they were their own family now, and it all started today.