Ah yes…another favorite number of mine
I've also been listening to more of David Guetta's songs so I'm extra nuts today (I mean she wolf)
expect some good plots and techs cuzz in my idle time I've been thinking…..actually…I just got these ideas while I was in the loo so…ROLL ON v-v/) :
NARUTO'S TRAINING FIELD
Naruto was in a taijutsu match with jiraya on full force and he was struggling to keep himself on his feet
"c'mon gaki
that faggot will beat you senseless at this rate"
naruto grazed a punch past the hermit's face
they were fighting at such fast rate that the average human would just see blurs
"I know already…dammit…"
naruto was getting frustrated
he was fighting with all of his seals off him but even still the old creep was stronger
'DAMN…if I didn't have these speed seals on me I'd be mush by now' jiraya thought to himself
before he went to train naruto, he drew speed and power seals under his shirt to outmatch naruto
he upper-cutted naruto and he fell limply like a rag doll
"pant…pant…"
'…you kno-'
'I know…with his seals he'll be as good as a sanin
if he didn't have them he'd be just another perverted creep'
'then why aren-'
'he's at sanin level now just like orochimaru…if I can beat him…I can beat the pedo-snake'
'well…you're not gonna elevate to sannin level in just a month so you'd better think some shit up'
"lets take five naruto"
"nah…I'm going home"
and before jiraya turned around, naruto disappeared and in his place was a note
"seals can only get you so far ero-sennin"
"…sunovagun…I should get training too…hmm…I wonder if ma and pa are home" and he headed for the sacred frog mountain
NARUTO'S HOME
Naruto was looking through his nin-book notes
"hmm…maybe something with kage-bunshins?"
"nah…think deeper" kura was lazily laying on the couch and was browsing soft core channels
"deep….deep…."
naruto sat on his bed and took his meditation pose
'hmm…I need to be faster…I'm as strong as I can be…KENJUTSU!...wait…i can't ask anyone and zabuza only works with broadswords….grrr….'
"can I order some ramen?"
"…."
"thanks"
"….."
'wait…KURAMA!'
"I FREAKING GOT IT!"
"what?
you want miso or pork?"
naruto re-sealed kurama and dashed to the training field
SOMEWHERE NEAR NARUTO'S TRAINING GROUNDS
"CHIDORI"
naruto heard a shout of kakashi's jutsu and dashed toward it, to see if kakashi was engaged in battle
he arrived to see sasuke panting and kakashi looking over him
on a large boulder on the other side were two holes
'only two huh?...'
naruto left there and decided to forget he ever saw his mentor training his nemesis and not giving a shit about him
-a few miles further-
'…I know you're pissed but…tomorrow's Thursday'
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK " naruto let out a monsterous roar
'gotcha!'
'DAMMIT DUDE
this shit ain't good for my heart'
TRAINING FIELD
'so….what's the big idea?'
'you are my dear friend'
naruto lifted his right hand up and concentrated bijuu chakra into it
soon enough, a fox's head covered his arm and now it looked like a canon
'pretty cool but…how'll you do shit with it?'
'YOU will'
'…I don't follow'
'take a human form and do my seals for me'
kyuubi banged his head against the iron bars
'FUCKING…MOTHER…FRITCH HUBBER!
YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS!'
kyuubi turned into an elder man with a dark robe on him with iron gauntlets and a red armor
kyuubi formed the seals for the fireball and the mouth of the fox on naruto's arm opened
'GREAT FIR-'
'I've got a better name'
"FOX STYLE : FOX FIRE CANNON"
a fire ball shot out of his arm and it destroyed everything in its path until it hit a group of trees and it exploded
'…are you on medications?
that name was PERFECT'
"haha…now…lets try this on a few more levels eh bro?
I've got great great plans my dear"
'…you've been skipping hotsprings too much'
"yeah you're right but FIRST…I need to get the fuck out of this village for a while"
HOKAGE'S MANSION
Naruto bustled through the door carelessly and saw three fossils stare daggers at him
he didn't know the old man and hag but knew the black haired man with almost all of his body and eye covered in bandages
'the warhawk…I read about him…'
"oh naruto!
good timing my boy…now if you would leave us alone" sarutobi pointed at the door and the three left with groans
"….you owe me one don't you?"
"HECK YEAH…my boy…I don't know why you wanna be a hokage but let me tell you right now…it sucks….YOUR FUCKING LIFE"
"dang gramps…sit down and take a load off
did they annoy you that much?"
naruto layed on the couch and sarutobi sat on his chair and sighed loudly
"naruto…they were here about you"
"didn't want me in the matches?"
"…yes…but I turned them away
don't think they'll let it slide though"
"EXACTLY WHY I'M HERE" naruto jumped up
"I want out"
sarutobi stared at him like he asked him what's e=mc square
"I want to train out of this village"
"I'm sure you can-"
"nope
like you said, they might do things to hinder my training and if I hurt an anbu or one of his men, I'll be the one who'll get punished later"
"sigh…you're not letting this one go are you?"
"…yeah you're right I'll train here"
"really?"
"ARE YOU RETARDED?"
sarutobi signed a paper and gave it to naruto
naruto went for the door but sarutobi's voice stopped him
"naruto…"
"do you know where jiraya went?
I can't see him on my crystal ball"
"…probably went somewhere to train"
"well…take care boy…and I expect some kick-ass new jutsu from you when you return"
"heh…you know me way too well ero-ji san"
with that said, naruto left the room and headed for the gates
'what about your girls?'
'I'm not going away forever…they'll understand'
'…fine…your choice casa-naru'
naruto approached the gate guards and gave them the paper
"hey…aren't you two the bathroom guards from the chuunin exam"
the two sweatdropped
"nope
must be mistaking us for someone else
take care of yourself"
he handed the paper back to naruto
"yeah…sure…do they assign you to do that thing every year?"
the one with the bandages on his nose wanted to talk and opened his mouth but closed it in defeat
"ever objected?"
all three sweat-dropped and kyuubi choked from laughter
"err…"
"I thought you were leaving " the other guard took out a katana and naruto ran for his life
'shit…I swear I saw his eyes turn red dude'
'maybe he wanted to give you some candy'
'…kura…please'
'naru…please'
naruto sighed in defeat
AUTHOR HIBERNATES FOR A MONTH WHILE A LOT OF SHIT HAPPENS WITH NARUTO
It was the day the chuunin exams began and konoha was bustling with people from all over the world
"sigh…where are you naruto?" sasuke thought daydreaming about their sweaty love making nights…..yes I'm kidding, I'm not that disgusting
sarutobi looked out the window and a knock was heard
"don't come in"
the door opened and kakashi entered with a serious face….well…by serious I mean he wasn't reading his book
"I thought I said don't come in"
"I didn't care"
"I'm the hokage!"
"no one gives a fuck"
"…..well…I guess you're right…but-" sarutobi summoned his diamond-hard pole and hit kakashi in the jewels
"then again, I'm the strongest so….wanted to tell me something?"
kakashi had foam coming out of his mouth from pain but sarutobi noticed the scroll in his hand
he took the scroll and carefully read the content
for a moment he looked at the author but the author just motioned for him to keep acting
the kage sighed and read aloud for the people reading this shitty story to know the content of the scroll :
"dear hokage of konoha
we had a little trouble on our travel to konoha but we are completely fine now
sincerely yours,
kazekage of the-"
the hokage tore the scroll apart and looked out the window
"you never wrote me a letter before kazekage-sama…and now you tell me not to worry?
something is very wrong here…"
he decided to go home and fully equip himself in his battler armor before going to the stadium
TWO HOURS LATER – THE STADIUM
It was time for the battles to being and the crowd were sitting in their respective seats
chouji was chomping down chips
shikamaru was dead-asleep
ino, hinata, ayame, tenten and haku were worriedly looking around
naruto was nowhere in sight
"will the contestants of the first match please enter the arena?" the instructor said loud enough for everyone to hear it and neji jumped out of the contestants section
"hmph…call the match instructor…he's chickened out"
the instructor, clearly pissed by his un-youthful (shit I feel gay) behavior, looked at the hokage
the hokage motioned for him to wait
"if he's not here hokage-sama, we should just call it and move on
I can't wait for sasuke-cha…for the last uchiha's match"
"very well…" sarutobi looked at the kazekage suspiciously
"he will have five minutes"
the crowd was in full tension after three minutes
sakura couldn't care less for naruto but was standing and looking around for sasuke and his sensei
hinata coughed a few times and blood soaked from the sides of her lips
kiba noticed the blood and patted her back
"you okay hinata?"
"I'm f..fine kiba-san"
"no you're not
lets get you to a medic"
"b..but naruto-kun's match-"
a whooshing sound was heard at that moment and everyone's heads shot up
everyone could only notice a black blur before an explosion in the arena took their attention
after the dust cleared away, naruto could be seen in his new attire
he wore black combat pants and sandals as usual
but now he wore the konoha head-band on his left thigh and had his masamune strapped to his back
he wore a black sleeve-less shirt with a red fox head on the back and his favorite swirl mark on the front
his wrist bands were also longer now with more marks around it and his scarf was missing
"BEHOLD
THE GREATEST NINJA THAT EVER SET FOOT IN THIS WORLD
NARUTO UZUMAKI MOTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAA"
"hmph…"
naruto stood silently and just stared at neji
"…I said…hmph…"
naruto was sweating now
the author facepalmed
"you forgot your lines didn't you?...just start the match guy"
the instructor who now we know was guy nodded and lifted his hand above his head
"GLADIATORS…READY?"
"READY" they shouted in unison
"FIGHT" guy cut his hand downward in a vertical arc and neji rushed at naruto, his byakugan active
naruto showed neji his magic finger
neji took this chance and hit naruto with a jyuuken on the shoulder
"hmph"
"nice catch phrase….short and effective…kinda gay cuzz sasuke does it too but….okay…let's see…" naruto tried his arm and it moved perfectly well as if it was just tapped on
"HOW?"
"urgh…shut up…as if that pink banshee wasn't enough…I'll tell you in the morning…by morning I don't mean, us sleeping together I just mean when you wake up…from being knocked out…not from sexual power just…..FUCK
why is it that all the outcomes are awkward?"
naruto took a taijutsu stand similar to neji's
neji was clearly angry at the mimic and also took his stance
"continue where we took off last time?" naruto asked and motioned for neji to come with his index finger
"I'll show YOU" neji rushed at naruto and they engaged in a battle of who gets to hit who
"hehe…I made you come with one finger…imagine what I can do with all ten!" naruto made fun of neji as he dodged every hit and didn't even bother hitting neji as he flailed his arms around
"DAMN you…" neji went for naruto's chest but he just sidestepped and neji smirked
'oh shit'
'with hair on it…eww'
"KAITEN"
neji started spinning and soon he was in a sphere of chakra that looked as if a rasengan was covering him
naruto got caught by surprise and was thrown by the jutsu into the arena wall
he made a sick noise as he hit it, something clearly broken but no worries
author has granted him super healing abilities!
"say.." naruto got up and spat blood
"Isn't that kinda advanced for a genin?...not to mention a branch member?" and naruto looked over to hiashi
hiashi was fuming red
he knew the hyuuga elders were against him and wanted him off as the head of the hyuuga because he didn't push the heir, hinata, in training hard enough
"don't look away in a match" neji said as he appeared in front of naruto
"oh shit…with hair of course" naruto held back a smirk from his new catch-phrase
"hmph…now you will taste true pain
EIGHT TRIGRAMS SIXTY FOUR PALMS"
naruto was showered by charged palm thrusts and the last one sent him flying back into his hole in the wall, making it bigger
"hmph…you deadlast were meant to lose since creation…instructor…call the match"
now guy was considering asking the hokage to take neji off his team
"what…did you just call me?" naruto muttered for neji to hear as he got up and rubble fell off him
"I called you a dead last….what?
don't tell me you feel insulted by being called what you are
and what can you do anyway?
I hit all of your tenketsu points
you're probably barely standing"
naruto wiped the blood off his mouth
"you're right…I think I've had it with foreplays"
naruto tried concentrating his chakra
"hmph…I told you its USELESS" neji shouted with anger
"ggrrrrRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHH" naruto's growl changed to a roar as a wave of chakra blasted off him
"h..how?..IMPOSSIBLE!"
"time for this dead last to kick your ASS INSIDE OUT" naruto concentrated chakra into his feet and disappeared from sight
"fuc-" naruto planted his knee in neji's face before he could say the golden word…which can be noun adjective command heck EVERYTHING !
neji flew back a good two meters before regaining his balance
"you cannot change your destiny…you WILL LOSE" neji concentrated all his chakra into his right arm and it turned into a tiger's head
'pretty sweet move…not to mention for a hyuuga'
"heh…lets do this" naruto concentrated on his right arm and chakra covered it
soon after, a deep blue rasengan formed in it and many of the audience gasped and murmured
"the yondaime's special jutsu?"
"how does the demon have it?" and so on
"say…hokage-sama…how is it that your deadlast jinchuriki can stand up to a genius such as the hyuuga as I've heard so much of their power and can even perform an A rank jutsu single handedly?" the quote KAZEKAGE unquote asked
"you see…he has the will of fire in him kazekage-sama…something you will never understand" hiruzen said with a hidden hint behind it and KAZEKAGE noticed it and nodded
'shit…he knows' orochimaru thought
'looks like my pleasant night with sasuke will have to wait'…yes…he did think that but just because he wanted his body…NOT THAT WAY…just…as his vessel…NOT SOMETHING TO PUT HIS THING INTO FUCK why is everything turning awkward?
"hey neji…guess who's gonna French kiss your cousin" naruto said with a smirk
"OVER MY DEAD BODY" neji rushed at naruto with his charged hyuuga jyuuken ready and aimed at naruto
"ah fuck this" naruto stood his ground and clashed his rasengan with neji's tiger-thrust
surprisingly enough, his rasengan disappeared a moment before its clash with neji's move
"what dafu-"
"GRAAH" neji thrusted his move into naruto's chest and naruto went flying next to his hole and this time, his clash with the wall created cracks two meters long
neji watched as naruto fell limply on the floor, not even breathing
after a moment of silence, the crowd cheered so loudly, the stadium was shaking
"it seems you didn't notice…that the animal form around my arm kills all tenketsu points that come in contact with it…hpmh" neji said the catchphrase everyone knows and loves even though he was sweating and panting like a pig in action
"I told you…deadlasts always-"neji also fell to the ground from exhaustion but was still conscious
"lose"
"very well" guy examined naruto from afar and still no motion to show any signs of life
aside from the cheering crowd, a few were worried about naruto's condition (I'm excluding sakura from this group)
some were sobbing and some still clinging to their last hopes
kazekage snickered at the scene and sarutobi's blood boiled
"looks like the will of fire has been put out"
sarutobi just looked at naruto
'what's wrong with you boy?...or are you still playing around'
guy held his hand up as a sign for the crowd to remain silent for his decision
"the winner of this match…"
he lowered his hand and pointed at neji
"hyuuga ne-"
a loud gasp was heard from naruto's position and naruto breathed as if he had almost drowned
"FUCKING SUNOVA BITCH
YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS TO HAVE YOUR HEART ALMOST DISABLED?" naruto roared angrily as he managed to get back on his feet
neji looked at naruto as if he found out neutrino actually exists
"how…HOW?" neji roared and also managed to get up
"hehe…you see my dear friend
we have eight chakra gates-"
"I KNOW what they are-"
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH FAGGOT
THIS IS MY MOMENT" naruto coughed a bit and continued
"chakra gates are basically tenketsu points but they're the biggest in the body
well…train hard enough and you'll open all of them
train to DEATH and you can manipulate every single tenketsu point in your body…only thing that bites balls is how much stamina it drains" naruto looked at the author and bowed for giving him gigantic stamina and author just sipped his coffee in satisfaction
"heh…you're bluffing" neji took his stance and activated his gift yet again
"then how do you think I moved my arm the first time?"
"yes now BRING IT YOU LITTLE EGOISTIC SHIT" naruto summoned his sword from his head-band on his thigh but did not un-sheath it
neji rushed at naruto with intent to kill but before he knew it, the air had left his lungs
another naruto was behind him and had seemingly hit his pressure point
"oh…" he re-sealed his blade
"almost forgot about you"
"ouch
very hurt" the clone said and disappeared in a puff of smoke
everyone were just in silence but mostly of awe
"winner
naruto uzumaki" guy said without checking on his pupil
"YEEAAAAhhhh okay" naruto's shout died since everyone were still silent
a few seconds later, more than half of the stadium roared in joy at the amazing battle of genins and author notes to the dear readers that they were not from konoha
konoha civilians on the other hand were just cursing their luck for losing their bet and naruto for….well…being naruto
hiashi just smirked in satisfaction at the fuming elders and hanabi stared at his father's smirk
'naruto's making dad smile in a weird way…is that a good thing?'
naruto was taken aback by the cheer from the crowd
'congratz bro
you can officially get laid with any girl you want for a week…unless she knows the size of your thing'
'yeah…to be honest though…it would've been a bit hard if I hadn't found tsunade and trained with her for the past month…shit…my ribs still hurt when she caught YOU peeking and thought it was me'
'hahaha…err…yeah…sorry about that'
'no you're not'
'right…MOVING ON'
naruto waved at the crowd with his brightest smile ever and walked to the contestants sections
"hmm…something you said about the will of fire lord kazekage?" sarutobi asked with a grin that split his face and made orochimaru twitch in fear
"ah…no but…your mouth is-"
"let us move on the next match"
"yes hokage-sama"
'shit…that was creepy…and I AM creepy' orochimaru thought in fear of how he just saw his sensei
Finito dear readers
and yes dear reviewer
I WILL put a good amount of my time on tayuya and I have to say…have we met?
cuzz I think you're spoiling the story on some points and the readers might not be too happy with that