Hey everyone! I know I havent updated this in a while, I kind of gave up on it for a bit... but now I'm back on this story! I started and finished this chapter in dire urgency to get it to you guys. I hope you enjoy it!
Remember to R&R!
-Luv ya,
Schmelly Inc.
Epilogue Part Four
Jonesy POV:
I can literally feel my heart breaking as I watch Nikki walk towards the mall exit. Half-heartedly, I turn around and head in the direction of the food court.
"I know this is all my fault…I always try to pick a fight with her. I guess it's because I want to feel like we can actually express some emotion towards each other…even if it's only anger."
I feel my shoulders slump in shame,
"I can't believe this is what our friendship has been reduced to. I've been trying so hard to somehow
create a stronger connection with her, but every time I try we end up fighting. Honestly, all I've been
doing is destroying any chance of mending our broken bond. I can still remember, so clearly, the way she
pulled away from my touch; the way her eyes filled with…fear. Those eyes haunt me, make me feel like
some kind of monster. All I want is for her to understand that I want to help her; be there for her through
everything. I feel like I'm going crazy…nothing I try to do comes even remotely close to repairing the
shattered window that is our relationship. Instead I keep stomping on all the pieces; making them
impossible to see. I'm so close to giving up…maybe this is all a lost cause. Right now, being friends is
obviously just not going to happen. We subconsciously punch holes into each other until there's just
nothing left to hurt."
I let go of my train of thought, it being too painful to continue, and look up to take in my surroundings. The
familiar shops and smells of the food court reach my eyes and nose. I easily spot the familiar, cheery yellow
of the Big Squeeze and our usual table stationed just in front of it. Upon seeing the huge lemon my mood
lifts…for a fraction of a second. My heart twinges painfully and, for the second time that day, I feel it crack. I
recognize two blondes seated cozily behind the counter, savoring the affection they share. I feel my heart
aching; longing to have a similar relationship with the only girl I have loved, Nikki. I shake my head and
unclench my fist, which moments before was drawn to release my pain. Stifling my inward struggle, I
continue towards our regular table.
"What's going on guys?"
"Oh, hey Jonesy…where have you been? This is like the first time I've seen you all day," Caitlin told me worriedly.
"Yeah man, you usually pass by the store on your way to work."
"Well I came in kind of late and then got fired. I was pretty bummed so I just kind of walked around the mall a bit."
"I totally understand dude, I do the same thing, you know, get my mellow on…"
"Yeah ,I just needed to think some things through…" I murmured sadly.
"Jonesy? Is something wrong? You don't seem like yourself…"
I raise my head to look at her face, her eyes filled with kindness and concern.
"Come on Jonesy! You can tell your friends anything, you know that your problems are eating you up.
Caitlin reads all those magazines and always makes time to help her friends, Jude has been your bro for
as long as you can remember. If you can't trust your friends, who can you trust?
"No…I mean yes, I mean…I don't know!" I cry in anguish. I weakly sink my head to the table, my emotions draining my strength.
I feel a small hand softly squeeze my hand and another, larger hand, rest supportively on my back.
"Jonsey, tell us what's wrong. Jude and me will do everything we can to help you. No matter what, we won't let you go through this alone."
I tighten my grip on Caitlin's hand slightly, in thanks. I'm not sure what I would've done without them.
"Well you see, Nikki and me have been fighting so much recently. I just don't know what I'm doing
anymore, everything I do only seems to push her further away. It feels like we're not even friends anymore. I want so badly to feel like friends again, I always thought that by this time in my life we would be going out. I've been in love with her since grade four…"
"I knew it dude!"
"Jude, shush. Jonesy and Nikki aren't exactly anywhere close to being a couple, we need to fix their friendship first."
"Oh, yeah…"
"Okay…Jonesy, Nikki spoke to us today, and I know we probably shouldn't be telling you this, but she's scared of being in a relationship with you. She's afraid to let people in because she doesn't want to get hurt, she's scared that if you guys were in a relationship, it would end. She doesn't want to lose you. It's kind of ironic, by pushing you away and trying to save your friendship, she's actually doing more damage, than taking a stab at a intimate relationship."
"So, she loves me?"
"As much as you love her, dude."
"But what should I do? I mean, trying to talk to her isn't working and I want to stop fighting."
"Jonesy, you have to give her some time…try sending her an e-mail saying that you want to talk, but make sure you let her know that she doesn't have to talk if she's not ready. Give her a day first though, she's in a very sensitive state."
"Thanks guys, I hope that I can fix things with her…at least to the point that we can be friends again. Nikki means so much to me and if I have to win back her trust as just a friend first, I will. I don't want to lose her…"
"Don't worry man, we know you can do it. When you care about someone a lot, you can always find a way."
I noticed the tender glance Jude and Caitlin shared, after he reassured me, and this time, their signs of
adoration, spread a warm feeling in my chest. A hope that there was still a chance for me and Nikki to share a
caring relationship not unlike their own.
"I'll see you later guys, I'm gunna head home."
"Good luck Jonesy! Remember, when she's ready to talk, make sure you are too."
"Yeah, Good luck man!"
"Thank again guys!" I shout over my shoulder as I head out of the food court. I find myself smiling, the prospect of finally fixing my relationship with Nikki, fresh in my mind.
Well, thats part four! I'm not sure when I'll be done part five...I guess you'll know when I update. I hope you enjoyed reading part four as much as I enjoyed writing it! Until next time...
Remember to R&R!
-Luv,
Schmelly Inc. :)