Title: "Rosie's Choice"

Author: Wish Wielder

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing / Character Focus: Ten / Rose

Challenge: Fanfic 100

Theme / Prompt: #99 (Writer's Choice: Dream)

Word Count: 1,137

Rating: K / G

Summary: Any fear she had had walking into the room vanished as she watched the two men in her life duke it out for her in song. Sixties' swing song, no less.

Notes: Hairspray-induced crack. Post S4, where it's assumed that Rose finds her way back and Jack comes traveling with 'em for a bit. Also, you may want to put "Ladies' Choice" on while reading this, and just picture them doing everything listed in your head. It might make it a bit easier to understand what was possessing me, 'cause I've been dieing of laughter here.

Dedication: This one goes for Horsie Friend, who pointed out that I was due for a funny one. Hope this has y'all giggling as much as the idea made me. –grin–

Disclaimer: "Doctor Who" and all respective properties are © the BBC. The song "Ladies' Choice" is from the musical "Hairspray". Megan D. (Wish Wielder) does not, has never, nor will ever own "Doctor Who" or anything "Hairspray".

"Rosie's Choice"

Rose found the unusual quiet highly disturbing as she walked down the corridor and into the console room of the TARDIS. Now that they had picked up Jack, who had decided to spend his month-long vacation traveling with them, the TARDIS was never quiet. Even if Jack wasn't causing trouble, the Doctor was always tinkering with something. Even the TARDIS herself seemed quieter than normal. All in all, it was giving Rose a very creeped-out feeling as she entered the familiar central room.

The Doctor and Jack were standing on the other side of the room, whispering conspiratorially to each other. It looked like they were arguing over something; judging from the wicked grins, Rose wasn't sure she wanted to know. They looked up at her, their grins turning just a bit more…well, sinister, and she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. What the hell was going on with them?

She jumped as a trumpet blared through the control room, quickly followed by a '60s swing beat. She looked around, eyes wide and terrified, as Jack ran over to her. He dropped to his knees and slid the rest of the way, grinning at her as he started to sing with the music.

"Hey, little girl with the cash to burn, I'm selling something you won't return!" he sang before jumping up, grabbing her hand as he started dancing in a way that reminded her of a chicken with its head cut off. He waggled his brows at her as he twirled her round before pulling her closer, moving against her in time to the beat. "Hey, little girl, take me off the shelf 'cause it's hard having fun playing by yourself!"

She tried her best not to laugh as he spun away, his grin never leaving his lips.

"Once you've browsed through the whole selection, shake your hips in my direction!" he said, bobbing his hips towards her with a wink and a grin before running back to her. He grabbed her hands and started twirling her around with him again.

"A prettier package you never did see – take me home and then unwrap me!" he continued singing as the beat picked up, and she started laughing as he took her hand and tugged at his collar with it. "Shop around, but little darlin', I've got to be…"

"Rosie's choice," he said, winking at her again as he let her go and started shuffling backwards towards the Doctor. He came to a stop next to the other man, whose grin had grown just the tiniest bit at the display. "Rosie's choice!"

She was expecting the music to cut off then, but her jaw dropped as she saw the Doctor stand a bit straighter, adjusting his tie as he gave Jack a competitive look. She heard a "Whoooo!" echo around the room as the Doctor ran over to her, his eyes sparkling as the grin grew.

"Hey, little girl looking for a sale," he said, stopping before her and tapping his shoulders, "test drive this Gallifreyan male!"

She doubled over than, laughing her head off as he gave her a wink. Any fear she had had walking into the room vanished as she watched the two men in her life duke it out for her in song. Sixties' swing song, no less.

"It's gonna take cash to fill my tank, so let's crack open your piggy bank! Hey, little girl going window shopping, I got something traffic stopping!" the Doctor sang as grabbed her hands and pulled her close, mimicking Jack's dancing as the other man stood on the other side of the controls, laughing.

"Hey, little girl on a spending spree, I don't come cheap – but the kisses come free!" the Doctor paused then, leaning close and smacking his lips against her own. He then pulled back and nodded towards himself, winking again. "On closer inspection, I'm sure that you'll agree…"

"I'm Rosie's choice," he said, letting go and sliding back, once again gesturing towards himself. He started dancing back towards Jack, shaking his bum at her as he repeated the line again. Jack dashed past him, nudging him out of rhythm with a smirk. He took his time dancing towards her as the musical break played out, and as she heard the background vocalists start up with a row of "Ahhhhh…"s he jumped over at her, landing with a twist and a face that had her laughing all over again.

"W-ow!" he said before grabbing her hand, twisting her about again. "Hey, little girl on a spending spree, I don't come cheap – but the kisses come free!"

He leaned towards her, ready to mimic the Doctor when his voice cut across the music, shouting out a loud "Don't!" Jack leaned back and threw the man a quick pout before shrugging and continuing his dance.

"On closer inspection, I'm sure that you'll agree…!" he sang, and before he could continue the Doctor raced over to them, nudging Jack out of the way as he dropped to his knees before Rose, taking her hands in his.

"Hey, little girl, listen to my plea – I come with a lifetimes guarantee!" he sang, giving her a pout before standing and pulling her close. "And one day maybe we'll find that baby makes three! It's Rosie's choice!"

She smiled at him as Jack pulled her back towards him, winking at the Doctor as he sang, "I'm Rosie's choice! Rosie's choice!"

The Doctor pulled her back to him, and she had the distinct impression of a game of tug-o-war. He gave Jack a look and pointed at him in warning.

"I'm Rosie's choice, choice, choice," he sang, but then he looked down at her as he tilted her chin up and kissed her, and once again she found she couldn't keep the grin off her face as the music died down and Jack started whining. He pulled back, rubbing his nose against hers as he smiled at her. "I'm Rosie's choice."

"That you are," she said as the music cut off, and she leaned up to kiss him again.

–W–

Her eyes fluttered open, a lingering smile still plastered to her face as she remembered what she knew could only have been a dream. She heard the familiar bangs and shouts coming from the control room, the Doctor shouting at Jack to keep his hypervodka away from the console while Jack whined back, asking the Doctor why he was so against threesomes. She turned to bury her head in her pillow as she started laughing again, the image of a swinging Doctor and Jack permanently burned into her mind.

She also made a mental note to never watch Broadway before bed again – and to ask the Doctor when he became such a big fan of musicals.

A.n.: You really don't want to know what inspired this, though I really want it to happen on the show now. xD And wow…it took me this long to get Jack in one of these? I feel ashamed!