April 19th
Ministry Tea Room
09:46 AM
'Dean,' I say, sort of mechanically, and turn around to look at him. Dean is stood there, his hands in his pockets, with a bright red t-shirt on that looks absolutely smashing on him.
09:47 AM
Great. My ex-boyfriend has come back to show off how fabulous he looks without me in his life.
09:48 AM
I hate Dean.
09:49 AM
I mean, how can you look good in a shirt? I firmly believe they teach a special course at Hogwarts to all the boys on how to look good simply by wearing a shirt with short sleeves, so that everyone can look at how muscly and lovely they are, while we're made to have a practical with Pomfrey, during which she would begin to tell you all of the ways in which you could possibly get some sort of awful disease if you didn't take your potions and perform your spells on time. Or end up pregnant.
Pomfrey seemed to think that was the worst possible punishment a body could ever undergo.
09:52 AM
I remember Mathilda Bobbins kept asking what had to actually happen for you to even get pregnant. I think she genuinely didn't know.
09:53 AM
I wonder if someone showed Mathilda Bobbins how you might get pregnant.
09:54 AM
Probably not.
I mean, her name is Mathilda.
09:55 AM
And I know Ginevra is a complete handful, but how would you shorten Mathilda? Mat? Thil? Da? Lda? Thi? Every variation just sounds bad, so you have to call her by her full name, which doesn't exactly trip off the tongue now, does it?
09:56 AM
'Gin,' Dean says, a little loudly, and I look up at him.
09:57 AM
Dean is really, really tall. Have I mentioned this already? He's like a head and a half taller than me and he does this towering-over-everyone thing.
It's kind of disturbing.
09:58 AM
'– I just really wanted to apologise for my Mum, I know it's not been nice having her around all the time –' Dean says, and I snort, and hold up a hand to stop him.
'Really, Dean, it's fine. Your mum and I will probably just never get along and I've accepted that. I believe it's the reason you broke up with me, because I was pointing out to you that she was a nightmare and you were defending her,' I say, kind of pointedly.
Dean looks very guilty, and his shoulders droop a bit.
'It's just –' he says, '– Mum's been kind of a mental case since I came back from the war, and she tends to take it out on other people if I'm gone for too long or preoccupied with anyone else but her. I should've told you that when we got back together.'
'Dean ...' I tail off, not really sure what to say to that.
10:02 AM
Some people have stopped walking towards the fountain and grates and instead, they have stopped to stare unabashedly at me and Dean.
10:03 AM
I glare at them from under my fringe.
They look very unimpressed.
10:04 AM
Great.
10:05 AM
'I miss you, Gin,' Dean says, looking at me with his huge brown-green eyes and amazing mouth, which is sort of turned down. 'I missed you after we broke up the first time and I miss you now, like crazy. I keep staring at the black bra you left at my place, draped over the chair –'
10:06 AM
This is obviously a really appropriate thing to bring up in the hallway of the Ministry of Magic where I work, Dean.
10:07 AM
'Dean –' I interrupt, sort of hintingly, hoping he takes notice of the people and realises he shouldn't really be talking about my lingerie.
'Ginny,' Dean says determinedly, taking no notice of the people surrounding us, and taking a step closer to me. He grabs hold of my hand. 'Please. I need you. I want you. I've always wanted you.'
Someone clears their throat pointedly behind me. I turn around, surprised, to find Harry standing there, his brows knitted together in a frown. I notice Dean doesn't let go of my hand, but draws himself up tall, so that it's very obvious he's taller than Harry.
'Dean,' says Harry, and for the first time, I realise that Harry can be really terrifying when he wants to be. He looks unimpressed by Dean's height, and is simply staring at him, his voice annoyed.
'I don't think this is the appropriate place to discuss your feelings or Ginny's lingerie –'
10:08 AM
Crap.
10:09 AM
'– so I propose you either leave together or let Ginny go back to work.'
Dean lets go of my hand, and takes a step back, nodding curtly. He then looks down at me, and offers me his hand.
'Let's go,' he says, his voice soft and raspy, and I feel myself melt a little, because this is Dean and I love Dean, I've always loved Dean, he's beautiful and gifted and kind and generous and –
'I – can't,' my voice says, without me really realising it.
Dean's eyes widen.
'I'm sorry,' I say, desperately.
I turn on my heel and push through the crowd, which has swelled significantly since Harry has joined our conversation. Whispers break out as soon as I manage to push past an elderly wizard – who should really know better, honestly – and dash across the hall to the fireplaces. I manage to snag a space in front of the queue when the monitoring wizard notices who I am, and I gratefully grab a handful of Floo Powder.
'The Burrow,' I shout, hastily, and the Ministry spins away in a flash of colour.
April 19th
The Burrow
7:30 PM
'Ginny?'
Mum's voice is quiet, comforting, and I turn my face towards the door, where she's standing. I realise it's become evening at some point, and the tears that had been streaking down my face when I left the Ministry have stopped.
'Would you like something to eat?' Mum asks, and I nod gratefully, managing a smile. She smiles back at me, kindly, and goes back downstairs.
7:35 PM
I don't know why I'm so confused and sad. I mean, Dean is lovely and I do really care about him, but we've never really worked. We always argued as much as we fought and he's deathly afraid of commitment. And his Mother –
7:36 PM
Well, let's just not even go there.
7:37 PM
I know we're better off not being together, but I'm still sad. Dean is crap with feelings, so for him to come over to the place where I work and confess what he's thinking, out loud, is such a big deal. And I didn't mean to hurt him but he's just so – too little, too late.
7:40 PM
'Gin?'
I freeze.
Harry's stood in the door opening of my room.
7:41 PM
I suddenly realise I probably should've gone back to work at some point, it being Harry's first day and him being my boss and me having to work for a living, and all.
7:42 PM
Oops.
7:43 PM
'Hi,' I say, awkwardly, and move a little when Harry comes into my room and sits on my bed, for which he's entirely too big. I believe that if he'd made an effort, he does fit in it, though.
7:45 PM
Bad Ginny.
Must not think of Harry in my bed in any way, shape or form.
7:46 PM
Harry looks at me, and then gently puts his hand on mine, which had been clutching the duvet cover.
'I'm sorry,' he says, and I look up at him, surprised.
7:47 PM
He looks really serious.
7:48 PM
Weird.
7:49 PM
'For what?' I ask.
'For hurting you, the way Dean did,' Harry says simply, and I gape at him as he turns around to face me. 'I was trying to protect you. I – I knew I was going to run off with Ron and Hermione and I didn't know if I'd be coming back and I – I cared for you so much, I didn't want to put you in more danger than you and your family already would be in war. I knew I had to stop Voldemort and I couldn't do that if all I was thinking about was you.'
7:50 PM
I'm sorry. Did I miss the announcement? Is it "Confess Your Feelings To Ginny Weasley Day" today?
7:52 PM
I'm still staring at Harry, I realise. He is looking at me earnestly.
7:53 PM
Merlin's beard.
7:54 PM
'Harry,' I say, and my voice comes out tired and a little annoyed. 'I knew all those things. I was willing to take the risk –'
'I wasn't,' Harry interrupts me, firmly.
'So?' I say, suddenly angry, jerking my hand away from underneath his. 'When you're in a relationship, you talk about these things and you don't go off making decisions by yourself. Besides, it's not like you broke up with me telling me that you cared so much and you didn't want to hurt me. You told me you didn't care about me at all. You looked at me like I was beneath you!'
At some point, I had stood up, and my voice was raised. Harry opened his mouth as if to say something, but I interrupted him.
'No, you did, Harry. You looked at me like I wasn't worth to be in your presence and you told me, essentially, that I had been wasting your precious time. I had loved you for years, Harry, and you didn't notice me at all, which is completely fine, so I moved on. I survived being possessed by Voldemort, I got with Michael and I got with Dean and I had a life. Then you kissed me, turned my entire world around, acted like you loved me, a little, and then you left. You dumped me. Twice, may I add! And then you come back from saving the wizarding world and I think, he'll probably come back and explain things at some point, won't he? No! You go off for years being secretive and living by yourself and avoiding me at family functions and inviting Cho Chang to live with you and then you come back and kiss me and tell me you love me and show up wherever I go, even at my work. Well, guess what Harry, I can't sit around waiting for years for you to get yourself together and decide to become available to me again.'
Harry has stood up now, too, and he looks angry. 'You're right, I'm sorry, but I was a little preoccupied trying to kill Voldemort!'
'I KNOW!' I shout back, and by now, I'm bellowing the words out, each thought I'd ever wanted to say to Harry pouring out of my mouth, unhampered. 'I HAVE REALISED THAT YOU HAVE GONE AND SAVED US ALL! BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN GO AROUND TREATING MY FEELINGS LIKE THEY'RE NOTHING. BOUNCING ME BACK AND FORTH AND DECIDING THAT WHEN YOU NEED ME, I NEED TO BE THERE. THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS! GOD, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?'
I'm stood, shaking, as Harry is looking at me with flushed cheeks. He looks tense, the faded leather jacket that used to belong to Sirius looking oddly big for him, suddenly.
He knows I'm right.
8:10 PM
'Harry.'
Fred is stood in the doorway, looking at the two of us. His voice – usually so filled with warmth for Harry – is a little cold. I feel my face heat up, realising I'd forgotten where I was and how loud I'd been shouting.
'I think you'd better leave.'
Harry looks at Fred pleadingly, then back at me. I look back at him stonily. Harry sighs, but nods and shoulders past Fred, who is somehow taking up the entire doorway. I hear Harry go downstairs, mutter something to Mum, and then hear the back door slam.
8:11 PM
Fred, meanwhile, has come into the room and is stood in front of me. I look up to meet his gaze, still shaking with anger.
'It's okay, Gin-Gin,' Fred says softly, comfortingly, and draws me into a hug. I hug him back and let out a shaky sigh, relaxing against his chest, breathing in his familiar scent and feeling his warmth.
8:12 PM
Funnily enough, Fred was always the only one who could comfort me when I was angry, or tired or upset. Dad and Bill came a close second, but really, it was always Fred.
8:13 PM
'Stupid git,' Fred says of Harry, in an annoyed tone, while stroking my back.
I snort.
8:14 PM
I love Fred.
Author's Note: Thanks so much to everyone who left a review and those who sent me a message saying you'd missed the story so much. I didn't really realise it had been that long, and I'm very sorry!
I hope you all like this chapter; I kind of love it. It was very important.
You know, for plot purposes.
Also, yay Fred.